This article was co-authored by Joseph Phillips
and by wikiHow staff writer, Maryana Lucia Vestic, MFA, M.Phil.
. Joseph Phillips, MSW is a Clinical Therapist and Social Worker at Transformative Growth Counseling, which is based in Illinois and Florida. He specializes in relationship and attachment therapy and treats anxiety, depression, trauma, and substance use. He earned a Master of Social Work from Tulane University in New Orleans, Louisiana, and he completed his clinical internship with Transformative Growth Counseling. Joseph is also certified in disaster and collective trauma counseling.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
Are you trying to figure out what to say instead of “sorry for your loss” to someone who is grieving? We're here to help. Read on for 80 thoughtful messages to comfort someone in mourning along with tips on offering your sympathy to someone you care about.
What to Say Instead of “I’m Sorry for Your Loss”
- For any loss : I'm holding space for you in my heart.
- Loss of a Parent : May your heart find comfort in the memories you shared with your parent.
- Loss of a Partner : They loved you deeply, and that love will always be with you.
- Loss of a Friend : Their warmth and kindness will always be remembered.
Steps
Heartfelt Alternatives to “Sorry for Your Loss”
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Acknowledge their grief with empathy. Offer the person who has lost a loved one your love and support by letting them know you’re there for them and understand their pain. Your loving words can prove to be a source of comfort for their grief.
- I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you, and I’m sending you all my strength and love.
- Please accept my deepest condolences and know that I am with you.
- I'm holding space for you in my heart.
- I'll always remember the unforgettable smile they took everywhere they went.
- Do you want my help, or do you want me to just listen? [1] X Research source
- Can I see you to give you a hug?
- I am here for you whenever and however you need me.
- My favorite memory of [name] is…
- Tell me about [name] and who they were to you.
- Know that it’s ok not to be ok. [2] X Research source
- We’re all going to miss [name] so much. Hold fast to your dearest memories of them.
- I know your heart feels heavy; I’m here if I can make you feel lighter even for a moment.
Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Parent
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Encourage those grieving to cherish the memories of their parent. Reiterate how much their parent impacted their life in the best ways. Let them know their parent would have been proud of them and that their legacy goes on. You don’t always need to know the exact words when wondering what to say to someone who lost a parent ; being genuine is the most important part.
- I can’t imagine how hard this is. I hope you find strength in the love you shared.
- Losing a parent is one of life’s hardest experiences. I’m here to support you every step of the way.
- Your [mom/dad] was so proud of you and everything you’ve achieved. I hope you take that pride with you wherever you go.
- Take all the time you need to grieve. Remember that you’re not alone in this.
- May your heart find comfort in the memories you shared with your parent.
- The legacy your [mother/father] left behind is remarkable. They will always be a treasured part of you.
- I'm glad you have so much support around you. It makes it easier for you to focus on honoring your [mom/dad].
- You’re so important to me. Remember how important you always were to your parent.
- I can't imagine what going through this is like for you. I’ll continue to be here to support you.
- I'm so touched by how you’re handling your grief. Your [mom/dad] would be too. [3] X Research source
Expressing Sympathy for the Loss of a Child
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Show sensitivity by focusing on the importance of a child’s life. It can be so difficult to know what to say when someone’s child passes away —start by recognizing how difficult it is to grieve as a parent. Speak about how special their child was and what a comfort it is for them to treasure their memories. Extend your support so they know they’re not alone.
- Your child’s spirit was truly special. They will always be remembered and cherished.
- I hope you find some comfort in the love and memories you shared.
- Please lean on us for anything; we are here to help you carry this burden.
- Their joy and energy were gifts that will never be forgotten.
- No words can ease your pain, but please know that I’m here and thinking of you.
- I know how deeply they were loved. My heart goes out to you.
- They were a beacon of light who brought everyone great joy. I’m so deeply saddened by your loss and send you all the love I have.
- Your love for them was incredibly strong and loyal. I want to support you in any way possible.
- I feel so lucky to have known [name] and am heartbroken over your loss.
- There are no words, but I hope to help you feel loved during this difficult time.
Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Partner
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Show appreciation for the love between spouses when one passes away. Focus on how beautiful the relationship was while cherishing the memories the grieving person has. Offer your support and understanding to help them through. Let them know you’re there to listen to anything they want to share about their partner.
- I can’t imagine the depth of your loss. Please know I’m here if you need anything.
- They loved you deeply, and that love will stay with you always.
- Their impact on your life and the lives of others will never be forgotten by those who knew them.
- Take each day as it comes. I’m here whenever you need a friend to lean on.
- Your partner was truly a special soul. I am here to help you in any way.
- The love you shared was so beautiful, and it will live on in every memory you treasure.
- I am here for you, no matter what. Keep the love you both shared and let it comfort you.
- I know you are hurting. It’s ok not to feel happy; I’m here to listen anytime.
- I'm sorry that I can't take this pain away for you. I’m ready to help in any way I can. [4] X Research source
- You were an unbelievable [husband/wife] to them. Your memories are a treasure to hold dear to your heart.
Expressing Sympathy for the Loss of a Friend
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Show support to someone who lost a friend. Recognize what a special friendship they both had while sharing what the person meant to you if you also knew them. Talk about how you’re ready to be there for anything the grieving person needs. Send your heartfelt love to them so they know they have loved ones who care.
- They were more than just a friend; they were like family to all of us.
- Losing a friend is so hard, and I’m here to go through this with you.
- Their warmth and kindness will always be remembered. It clearly rubbed off on you too.
- Friendships like the one you both shared are irreplaceable. I’m here for anything you need.
- They left behind so many wonderful memories. Let’s keep their spirit alive in our hearts.
- I’m grateful for the time we had with them and am deeply sorry for your loss of such a good friend.
- I've been thinking about you often. I can’t imagine your grief and send all my love to you.
- I'm sorry you're going through this. If I can help give you any comfort, I’m here to do so.
- What can I do for you? Anything you need, I’m on it.
- You were also a wonderful friend to them. I'm here whenever you need me. [5] X Research source
Professional Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Coworker
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Express sympathy to the family for the loss of a coworker. Let their loved ones know how important the deceased was to everyone they worked with. Tell them how much you and others at your workplace will miss them as well. Show your love and support for them for the family as they grieve.
- Their contributions and kindness made a real difference in all of our lives.
- It was an honor to work alongside them, and their absence will be felt by everyone.
- Their professionalism and friendship were greatly valued. I’m here to talk if you need support.
- They were not just a coworker but a friend to many of us. We will miss them every day.
- Please remember that we’re all here to support you through this loss.
- Their impact on our team was immense, and we’ll carry their spirit forward in everything we do.
- Please take care of yourself and your family during this difficult time.
- They showed me what it means to be a good person every day we went to work. I’m honored to have known them.
- I'm sorry we’ve never met, but I can tell that a lot of people admired [name]. I’m sure you’re so proud of them.
- They were so lucky to have such wonderful family members like you by their side. [6] X Research source
Sympathy Messages for the Loss of a Stranger
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Show kindness to those grieving for someone you didn’t know. You don’t need to have shared memories of a person to extend your sincere condolences to the bereaved. Simply let the grieving person know that you recognize how hard the loss is for them. Offering your thoughts and prayers is a good place to start.
- My heart goes out to you and your family.
- I’m so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
- During this trying time, I hope that you find strength in those that surround you.
- Though they may be gone from this world, they will forever live in your memories and your heart. Please accept my warmest condolences.
- Healing after loss can be difficult, but remember how much support you have.
- I hope that you spend this time surrounded by your family and friends.
- I truly know how much you'll miss them.
- I feel so devastated for you in your grief.
- Wishing you as much peace and comfort as possible while you cope with this loss.
- I’m hoping you take all the time you need to heal from your great loss.
- I’m so sorry this happened and wish your family peace and strength.
- Loss is a heavy burden to bear, but remember you have others around you who can make it easier to carry.
Expressing Sympathy for the Loss of a Pet
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Acknowledge how much the loss of a pet hurts. Let those who grieve know that their pet was blessed to have a wonderful life, thanks to them. Cherish the bond they had with their best friend while offering to be there for them. Focus on the wonderful memories with their pet that they’ll always keep close to them.
- Your pet brought so much joy to everyone around them. I’m so sorry for your loss.
- Losing a pet is like losing a part of the family. I’m here when you’re ready to talk.
- They were lucky to have you as their owner, as you surely gave them a wonderful life.
- The bond you shared with your pet was beautiful and will always be cherished.
- Take all the time you need to grieve. They were such a special part of your life.
- Their love and loyalty were gifts that will always be with you.
How to Craft a Sympathetic Message
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1Replace “I’m sorry for your loss” with words that feel more personal. Instead of saying, “Sorry for your loss,” share something meaningful about the person who passed. Then, express sympathy and empathy for everything they’re going through. End by offering your support in any way it’s needed. [7] X Research source
- Start with something specific, like “I know you lost your mom recently. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing grief like this. It’s a lot to go through, and I’m here for anything you need.”
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2Use a phrase that opens up an exchange. Recognize how hard the loss is on someone who's grieving. Ask about the person who passed away, so you’ll be the one who listens instead of just speaking.
- For example, you can say, “I know how much you’re missing your best friend. I’d love to learn about your happiest memories of them.”
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3Share a meaningful memory that invokes feelings of joy. If you knew the deceased personally, mention something positive about knowing them. Memories bring comfort to those who are in the grieving process.
- For instance, you could say, “I remember the first time I met your dad. He showed me everything I was doing wrong at work. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without him.”
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4Be there to listen instead of making a statement. Provide a safe space for the bereaved to share what they’re going through. Their struggles and sorrow will still exist, but once shared with someone else, the pain becomes less impossible to deal with. [8] X Research source
- Because of emails and texts, you can listen to someone even if you’re not present. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Rebecca Tenzer states, “We are in a world fueled by technology. You no longer have to be roommates, neighbors, or coworkers to comfort one another during tough times.”
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5Do something kind for those grieving. Actions speak louder than words, so, in addition to offering kind statements, call them on the phone to check on them. Make some cookies and go visit them to talk. Run errands so they don’t feel overwhelmed with daily life.EXPERT TIPLicensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & SpeakerDr. Vernita Marsh is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the CEO and Founder of Dr. Vernita Marsh & Associates and The Marsh Clinics®. With over 30 years of clinical psychology experience, she specializes in relationship therapy, grief counseling, family therapy, and intimate partner abuse counseling. Dr. Marsh offers consultation for therapists, coaches, and trainees of mental health. Dr. Marsh earned her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Michigan State University and completed both her postdoctoral and fellowship training at Harvard Medical School. She also has expertise in the area of Telehealth and has received Clinical Telehealth Health Provider Certification from Evergreen.
Offering sympathy doesn't have to end with words. One thing you can always say to a person is, "What can I do to help in some kind of way? How can I be of service or assistance to you during this critical time?" Sometimes this means holding their hand, providing food, or checking to find out how they're doing.
Is it appropriate to say sorry for your loss?
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Saying "Sorry for your loss" is appropriate, but not the only option. The expression, "Sorry for your loss" is widely used, but can be limiting. When you say "Sorry for your loss," your condolences rest solely on the other person. It's better to personalize your message by focusing your words on the person who passed away.
- For example, you can say, “I'm heartbroken to hear about your brother's passing. I remember how much he made us laugh when we took that road trip together.”
What to Say Besides Sorry for Your Loss FAQs
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1What is better than saying "I'm sorry for your loss?” It’s possible to offer sympathy and provide comfort to those who are grieving without saying, “I’m sorry for your loss.” Some alternatives include, “My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time” and "Sending you love and support in your time of grief.” You can also acknowledge, “I know how hard this has been for you and I am here for you.”
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2How do you express sympathy without saying sorry? When you want to show sympathy, along with your condolences, you can do so by recognizing the pain the person grieving is in. It’s also important to let them know you’re thinking of them while offering support. They’ll know how much you care about them and what they are going through.
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3How do you reply when someone says “sorry for your loss”? When someone says “sorry for your loss,” you can always respond with a simple thank you. Other appropriate responses include, "I appreciate your kind words," "I’m grateful for your support,” and "Thank you for reaching out to me.” Express your gratitude in return by saying, "It helps to know you understand,” or letting them know you’re comforted by the memories both you and the other person share.
Expert Q&A
Tips
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References
- ↑ https://time.com/7001462/what-to-say-when-someone-dies/
- ↑ https://www.lensofjen.org/how-to-comfort-someone-who-lost-a-loved-one/
- ↑ https://www.joincake.com/blog/sorry-for-your-loss/#h_466667052061653670424149
- ↑ https://www.joincake.com/blog/sorry-for-your-loss/#h_466667052061653670424149
- ↑ https://www.joincake.com/blog/sorry-for-your-loss/#h_466667052061653670424149
- ↑ https://www.joincake.com/blog/sorry-for-your-loss/#h_466667052061653670424149
- ↑ https://www.lensofjen.org/how-to-comfort-someone-who-lost-a-loved-one/
- ↑ https://www.lensofjen.org/how-to-comfort-someone-who-lost-a-loved-one/