Help, I have a crush on my best friend!
How do I handle having a crush on my best friend? I think she’s amazing, and we do everything together. But I don’t know if she feels the same way, and I’m really scared of ruining things.
This is a tough situation to be in. The best thing to do when you have a crush on your best friend is find out if they feel the same way. Sometimes great friends really do become great lovers.
Eventually, you want to be able to directly say, "You know what, I think I'm starting to feel something for you." But it’s better to be more subtle at first to get a sense of where they're at. For example, when you're hanging out, lean in close to their ear and whisper something funny or tell them that they look great. Just feel their vibes, and see if you can start to create some heat. At some point, you'll have to ask yourself, "Is it worth ruining the friendship we have for me to take this risk?" And if the answer is yes, then you have to do it.
You can try gradually moving towards more physical interactions by subtly doing things like saying "Let's hug," or leaning in and kissing their cheeks like you're in France. See if it feels like something's happening, if that person wants to meet you where you're at. It's very subtle, and you don't have to deal go over the top.
If it seems like they're being receptive, that can be the time to say, "I'm really starting to feel like there's something more between us" or "Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like there's something more between us, and maybe we should explore it."
But first, I would just initiate light physical escalation and read the signs you receive.
Eventually, you want to be able to directly say, "You know what, I think I'm starting to feel something for you." But it’s better to be more subtle at first to get a sense of where they're at. For example, when you're hanging out, lean in close to their ear and whisper something funny or tell them that they look great. Just feel their vibes, and see if you can start to create some heat. At some point, you'll have to ask yourself, "Is it worth ruining the friendship we have for me to take this risk?" And if the answer is yes, then you have to do it.
You can try gradually moving towards more physical interactions by subtly doing things like saying "Let's hug," or leaning in and kissing their cheeks like you're in France. See if it feels like something's happening, if that person wants to meet you where you're at. It's very subtle, and you don't have to deal go over the top.
If it seems like they're being receptive, that can be the time to say, "I'm really starting to feel like there's something more between us" or "Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like there's something more between us, and maybe we should explore it."
But first, I would just initiate light physical escalation and read the signs you receive.
yes I feel the same way because I have a best friend and I really like her a lot and I can't resit it but she knows it already I don't about me kissing her on the cheek and also she said that we can have something in future but I don't when that is what should I do since I still have a crush on her...
Hey man, I went through the same thing, and it’s rough. My advice is to just talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and be clear that you both value her as a friend and as more. You don't want to make her think the friendship was a ploy to sleep with her.
I went through this with one of my friends, and things were weird for a couple days (she didn't feel the same as me). But we had some really good, honest conversations, and afterwards I actually felt like our friendship was stronger. I wasn't hiding this thing from her anymore, and, if we could talk about this, then clearly we could talk about anything.
So just be open with her, and make sure you're okay with staying friends if she doesn't feel the same. You got this!
I went through this with one of my friends, and things were weird for a couple days (she didn't feel the same as me). But we had some really good, honest conversations, and afterwards I actually felt like our friendship was stronger. I wasn't hiding this thing from her anymore, and, if we could talk about this, then clearly we could talk about anything.
So just be open with her, and make sure you're okay with staying friends if she doesn't feel the same. You got this!
If you talk to your friend and she doesn't feel the same as you, a little bit of distance can work wonders to help you heal. Keep in contact with your friend, but have less contact than before.
Don't make a big deal of it. You don't want to go around telling everyone or feel angry about the rejection. It is important to remember how the friendship was before you developed this crush.
If you have to, stop looking at their social media accounts for the time being. Talk it out with them so no one is left feeling awkward, and then commit to letting it go. Allow yourself to grieve and get over it. That could happen by creating a bit of space.
It could mean taking a few weeks or a month off of seeing them, but this could be best for both of you in the long run. Focus on other activities and on yourself, get back to doing things you love, and learn how to just be a friend again to this person.
Don't make a big deal of it. You don't want to go around telling everyone or feel angry about the rejection. It is important to remember how the friendship was before you developed this crush.
If you have to, stop looking at their social media accounts for the time being. Talk it out with them so no one is left feeling awkward, and then commit to letting it go. Allow yourself to grieve and get over it. That could happen by creating a bit of space.
It could mean taking a few weeks or a month off of seeing them, but this could be best for both of you in the long run. Focus on other activities and on yourself, get back to doing things you love, and learn how to just be a friend again to this person.
What if my relationship with my best friend is already very complicated. Should I tell and risk the friendship or just keep it on normal terms.
I have a crush on my best friend but it's confusing because I know she's gay too but she always hangs around her gay friends a lot. But I think she flirts with me too and I can't really tell because she's just a very positive and touchy person in general.
Do NOTHING unless you are ok with risking the loss of the friendship. Best advice out there. At the end of the day though, if it hurts too much to be around her BECAUSE you have feelings that go beyond friendship then perhaps the risk is worth it. If it's a no from her than you can lick your wounds, move on and heal. At the end of the day, you can't really be friends if you wouldn't be happy seeing her date someone else.
What do other wikiHow readers have to say?
Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.
Reader Tips from How to Tell Your Best Friend You Love Her
If you're also a woman and your best friend has never hinted that she's a lesbian, bisexual, or curious about experimenting with girls, try to bring the subject up in a kind of subtle way to see how she reacts. If she goes, "ew, girls!" or something like that, skip telling her how you feel. If she seems open to the idea though, it could be a sign she's into you.
I think it's really important to stay calm when you have this conversation. There are going to be a lot of very strong emotions pulsing through you, and if things don't go perfectly you may potentially say or do something you regret. Take deep breaths and keep your cool.
If you have any hesitations whatsoever or you think there's any real chance your best friend won't say "yes," do not do this. Seriously. It is very likely to completely destroy your relationship forever if she isn't also in love with you.
Reader Tips from How to Get Over a Crush on Your Best Friend
If you've got a really good relationship with your friend and the two of you communicate well, consider just telling them how you're feeling. You don't even necessarily have to ask them out, you could just say, "You know, I had a crush on you and I'm trying to get over it but man, it's hard!" This could help alleviate some of the tension you're putting on yourself so that you can move on.
You might be surprised, but the odds are very high that your best friend knows you have a crush on them. It's actually pretty hard to hide something like that, especially if the two of you hang out for an extended period of time. If you want to get over it and you're really struggling, telling your best friend about what you're experiencing could be helpful.
If your best friend is a key member of your friend group, try to find another friend group to hang out with for a while. Even if it's just temporary, getting some space from the person you're trying to get over will help you get past the way you're feeling.
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