How to Get Your Crush to Notice You (for Girls)

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You can't stop thinking about your crush and you're ready to take things to the next level with them. The only problem is, your crush hasn't really noticed you yet. The good news is you don't have to wait around for them to realize how awesome you are. There are simple things you can do to get your crush's attention and keep them hooked, and we've put together some tips to help you out.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Appearing Friendly to Your Crush

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  1. Eye contact shows that you’re paying attention and care about what a person is saying. It’s also a silent form of communication. [1] In general, try to maintain eye contact for about 30-60% of a conversation, particularly during the part of a conversation when you’re listening, not speaking. [2]
    • Don’t stare, because this can make people feel uncomfortable and communicate hostility.
    • Too little eye contact makes you seem insincere or uninterested.
  2. A happy face makes you appear approachable, friendly, and fun. This is exactly what you want to look like if you want your crush to notice and approach you. Not smiling can make you look disinterested or even hostile.
    • In one study, 60% of men described images of unsmiling women as “moody,” and 66% of women described unsmiling women as “disinterested.”
    • As an added bonus, smiling and laughter can actually make you feel happier. [3]
    • With all of this in mind, you don't have to smile if someone tells orders you to! Only smile if you feel like it. [4]
    EXPERT TIP

    Cher Gopman

    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach

    Smiling and eye contact are very important. A smile allows the other person to feel at ease with you. Eye contact shows that you're present in the moment. Just make sure to balance moments of eye contact with looking away so that you don't come off as intimidating.

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  3. Keep your back straight and chin up. Put your shoulders back, but not too far. This shows confidence and energy. Keep your legs and arms relaxed instead of crossing them. This conveys openness and friendliness. [5]
    • Get in the habit of doing some simple exercises to improve your posture. Do yoga, pilates, or other stretching.
    • Try to avoid slouching or leaning against the wall, because this implies insecurity or disinterest.
  4. Don’t be afraid to say hello! Girls are often taught to sit back and wait to be approached, but it can be very attractive, and you can stand out from the crowd, if you speak up instead of waiting around. [6]
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Part 2
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Looking Your Best So Your Crush Will Notice You

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  1. Studies have shown again and again that grooming is the most important element of attractiveness. Shower often. You shouldn’t necessarily style your hair like you’re going to prom all the time, and don’t feel like you need to spend hours with the curling iron and hairspray, but be sure your hair looks clean. [7]
    • Sometimes the amount and type of grooming that you will do depends on the type of person you want to attract. Some people are more attracted to a rugged, outdoors type, while others prefer a more put-together appearance.
    • Smell your best. Wear deodorant, and bathe regularly, but don’t overdo it on the perfume, body spray, or lotion. You don’t want to make your crush sneeze or get a headache because you are wearing too much scent.
  2. In general, research shows that neat, well fitting, and more formal clothes are considered the most attractive. That is, clothes should be free of holes, well-laundered, flattering to your shape, and typically on the classier side. [8]
    • That said, it all depends on who you’re trying to attract. Some people find a more casual look appealing. No matter what style you choose, pick clothing that you feel good in, so that you will look and feel more confident.
    • Some researchers believe that wearing red makes you more attractive. [9]
  3. According to one study, teeth are “the human equivalent of a peacock’s tail.” The study showed that people with whiter, brighter, more evenly spaced teeth were rated more attractive than others. Be sure to brush and floss those pearly whites, and if you’ve had the privilege of orthodontia, wear your retainer! [10]
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Flirting Subtly With Your Crush

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  1. Subtly let your crush know that you are interested in them simply by paying attention when they speak. You don’t have to hang attentively on every word, but make it clear that you care about what they are saying by nodding, smiling, and responding when appropriate. [11]
    • Ask questions about what they say. If your crush is telling you that he’s sad about his grandma dying, ask about what he liked to do with his grandma. If your crush is excited about her basketball game tonight, ask what position she plays.
    • You’ll be especially glad that you listened carefully the next time you see your crush, because you’ll have a basis for conversation already. You may have even developed an inside joke with them, which can be great for creating lasting relationships.
  2. This can help you learn more about your crush to help you determine whether you are truly compatible or not. It can also lead to increased interactions with your crush, which will make it more likely that they will notice you. Of course, there’s always the added bonus of making new friends too, even if your crush never notices you.
  3. If you are particularly nervous around your crush, it might be hard to make conversation. Try to think of conversation topics before you see them. Think about what you have in common, who your common friends are, what upcoming events you might both be excited about (or dreading), and see if you can come up with a few different topics in your head. [12]
    • Joking around is a great way to interact with your crush, but be careful not to make jokes at the expense of others. You don’t want to seem like a bully or a mean person just to get someone’s attention.
  4. You might want to start by asking them to be part of a group you’re organizing. This can be a group doing a school project or a group getting together to go to the movies. Just make it clear that you’re interested in having them around. After you’ve done some group activities together and feel comfortable, then ask them to do something with you one-on-one.
    • Oddly enough, one study with over 1,000 participants found that people who rode rollercoasters found their non-romantic friends more attractive after a ride on a roller coaster than before. So maybe a trip to a fair or an amusement park is in order! [13]
  5. If you sit down next to your crush and your legs bump each other, pay attention to whether they jump away quickly or let their leg linger. If they let the touch continue, it’s possible that they are interested in you, so you might want to escalate the touch ever-so-slightly by casually letting your arm touch theirs the next time you’re at your lockers together. [14]
    • Don’t escalate until your crush reciprocates or lingers.
    • They might also be super shy and feel terrified when their arm touches yours, so be respectful of their comfort level and don’t touch them if they seem uncomfortable. Even if they jump away when you touch, that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you, so try some other tactics if you suspect that’s the case.
  6. [15] This is the hardest part! If you try to follow every piece of advice you have ever heard about getting someone to notice you, you may find that you feel fake or overwhelmed. When in doubt, just try to act as naturally as possible. Treat your crush like you treat your friends, and odds are good they’ll pay attention to you eventually.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you get your crush to like you?
    Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
    Relationship Coach
    Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
    Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Show your crush who you really are. It's rare for people to like somebody who is not authentic. Aside from being yourself, always be kind. Try complimenting your crush on what you notice and like about them.
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  • Question
    Is it a good idea to confess feelings to your crush?
    Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
    Relationship Coach
    Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
    Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    It's worth a try to be courageous and tell your crush how you feel. I would be very honest and say, "Hey, I see some amazing qualities in you." Try to present it in a way that shows that you two are compatible. Compliment them as a person and also point to your similar interests to show them that there may be possibilities in your relationship.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      Tips

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      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Make eye contact and smile genuinely in conversation, but don't stare intensely. Friendly body language makes you seem warm and open. Practice confident posture with shoulders back.
      • Don't stress if they don't seem interested right away. Keep putting your true self out there without desperation and wait for someone to appreciate the real you.
      • Don't completely alter your personality or pretend to be someone else. Relax and be your genuine self when interacting. If it's right, it'll happen naturally.
      • Listen closely when they speak, ask questions, and recall details later to show you care. Bring up shared interests or funny memories to start conversations.
      • Groom yourself neatly and dress in outfits you feel good in to boost self-assurance. But don't obsess over looks — focus more on being your best self.
      • Suggest enjoyable group activities potentially including them, like studying or movies, to get comfortable. Then invite them to hang one-on-one.
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      References

      1. ↑ http://msue.anr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_an_introduction_to_its_role_in_communication
      2. ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2014/08/21/facinating-facts-about-eye-contact/#50dd458d518b
      3. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/beauty/lips-smile/smile-personality?page=2
      4. ↑ http://thoughtcatalog.com/hok-leahcim/2014/05/18-creative-and-satisfying-comebacks-to-why-dont-you-smile-more/
      5. ↑ http://datingtips.match.com/approachable-body-language-13197007.html
      6. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201111/being-beautiful-or-handsome-is-easier-you-think
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201111/being-beautiful-or-handsome-is-easier-you-think
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201110/how-get-man-or-woman-attracted-color
      1. ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2182380/Smile-Why-white-teeth-sign-good-health-make-attractive.html
      2. ↑ https://www.inc.com/murray-newlands/9-things-incredibly-attractive-people-do.html
      3. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
      4. ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2116027/Forget-wining-dining-Go-roller-coaster-want-attractive-opposite-sex.html
      5. ↑ http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/get-flirty/flirting-touch-flirt-by-touch
      6. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To get your crush to notice you, act friendly to them. When they look your way, make eye contact and smile. Stand up straight and tall and keep your body language relaxed and open, which will make you look confident and approachable. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative and say “hi” or strike up a conversation next time you see them. Your crush is also more likely to notice you if you look your best. Comb and style your hair, brush your teeth, and wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. They’ll notice you more if you spend time around them, so look for excuses to hang out together. For instance, try inviting them to join a study group with you. When you talk to your crush, ask them lots of questions and look for common interests. And don’t forget to flirt a little—try giving them a compliment, telling a silly joke, or even doing a little good-natured teasing. To learn how to take the initiative with your crush, keep reading!

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