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If a guy is interested in you and asks for your number, who you really don't like or have no interest in him, the best thing is to get to the point and say "no thanks." Of course, that may not be your style, or you may feel safer trying a different option. If so, move on to using decoys and sidestepping the issue.
Steps
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Just tell him no. You don't necessarily have to give him an explanation or a reason why. You can just tell him that you're not interested, or you don't want to give him your number. If you use this method, make sure you really don't want to keep in touch with the guy, even if you see him again. [1] X Research source- For instance, you could say, "Thanks for asking, but I'm not interested."
- You can also just give him a number to stay in touch as friends, as long as you are abundantly clear about it. For instance, you could say, "I don't mind giving you my number, but I would only do so as friends. I'm not interested in anything else right now."
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Try a little less direct approach. If you want, you can take a direct, but not quite as direct approach. For instance, you can try to soften the blow by leading with something you like about the guy. That way, the rejection won't come as hard. [2] X Research source- As an example, you could say, "I'm flattered, but I don't think I'm in a place to be dating right now. I have to say no." This approach helps make it less about him, so he won't feel as hurt.
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Make sure you include the word "no." When you're using the direct or indirect approach, "no" needs to be in what you say. If you hem and haw around it without actually using the word "no," you leave him thinking he may still have a chance with you. You don't need to be mean, just direct. [3] X Research source- For instance, saying "I'm not sure I want to date right now" leaves it a little uncertain.
- Instead, make sure you make it clear. "I'm not interested in dating right now, so I have to say no."
- Be polite but firm. Thank the guy for his interest. Say that you're flattered he is interested. However, let him know that you're not looking for a relationship at the moment, and hence, you're not able or willing to share your number.
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Don't apologize. It's a natural reaction. You want to apologize for making the person feel bad. However, you don't need to apologize for not wanting to give out your number. In addition, it can draw attention to the fact that you feel sorry for him, which in turn can make him feel worse. [4] X Research source
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Give out a fake number. This option can be a little risky, since he can call it right then and see if it is actually your number. However, it can be a way to get someone to stop asking you out in an indirect way. [5] X Research source- Also, make sure the number you're giving isn't someone else's number. You can look up most numbers online to see if they connect to a person. You don't want to be giving out a person's number to a stranger.
- If you happen to run into him again and he asks you about it, just ask to see the number, then say "Whoops! Wow, I spaced out. I totally wrote down one of the numbers wrong." And when he asks for the number again you can do the same thing. (If you're going to see him more than twice, it's best to just tell the truth.)
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Give out a hotline number. Some hotlines have been designed specifically for rejecting guys. Others are just a silly way to give a fake number. Either way, you can use these numbers to hand out to the guys you meet so you don't have to give your number. [6] X Research source- Another option is the rejection line. It explains to the guy that you've given him a false number as a way of rejecting him with a bit of humor thrown in. The number is (605) 475-6968. [7] X Research source
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Use a friend as a boyfriend. Another option is to take a guy friend with you when you're out who's willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. That way, if you need to reject someone, you can use him as a decoy.- You could say, "Oh, I would if I were single, but I'm here with my boyfriend." It helps to grab your decoy boyfriend's arm at this point.
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Use safety as an excuse. One way to sidestep the issue is to say that you don't ever give out personal information to strangers as a way of staying safe. Of course, this has an element of truth for most people, so you're really not lying. [8] X Research source- You could say, "I'm sorry, I don't give out my number to strangers. I've had some bad experience with doing that in the past, so I don't give out my number anymore."
- If you make it so he realizes it's a general rule, he won't feel so personally rejected.
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Use a boyfriend as an excuse. Even if you don't have a boyfriend, you could pretend to have a boyfriend to make the rejection easier. If the guy thinks you have a boyfriend, then it's nothing personal against him. [9] X Research source- As an example, you could say, "I can't give you my number. I have a boyfriend." Most guys will walk away without another thought at that point.
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Turn the tables. Another way to sidestep the issue is to ask for his number instead. That way, the power is in your hands, and you can do with it what you want. Just make sure to take the number yourself. Don't hand him your phone, as he could use it to give himself your number. [10] X Research source- It may seem cruel to take a number just to blow the guy off later. However, if a guy won't leave you alone, it's a good way to get him to stop.
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Stay safe. Don't be afraid to walk away if you need to do so. If a guy turns hostile after rejection, get security involved and then leave where you are as soon as possible. It's always better to be safe than sorry. [11] X Research source- If you're not in a place that has security, tell management or call the police if you feel your safety is threatened.
- It's also a good idea to go out in groups. While guys don't limit asking girls out to clubs, when you are going out to the club, take some friends with you.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you reject a guy nicely?Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.In general, it's best to just be honest and direct, and say something like, "I'm sorry but I'm not interested." However, if you need to get away quickly, you can say something along the lines of, "I'm really busy right now and I have to get somewhere, but it was nice meeting you," or, "I love your approach, but unfortunately I'm seeing someone."
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QuestionWhat do I do if I give a guy my number but then I change my mind?Community AnswerJust don't take his calls or respond to his texts. If he doesn't get the hint, or you want to be more direct about it, let him know that you're sorry for the confusion, but you're just not interested.
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QuestionI got scared when a stranger talks to me while I'm walking on the side road. How do I overcome that problem?Community AnswerDon't stop to talk to people when you're alone, and try to walk with friends when you can. Always carry something that makes a lot of noise, like a whistle. Also, keep your hands free, and make sure you have shows that you can run in easily. Try to avoid dark areas and lonely places. Call the police if you feel like you're in danger
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Warnings
- If he wants you to meet him somewhere you've never been before, asks you to ride in his car alone with him, or wants to meet where no one can see you, take extreme caution. Let someone else know where you are, bring someone along with you without his knowledge, change the location, or just simply refuse to meet with him alone.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/guy-approved-ways-to-turn-down
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/guy-approved-ways-to-turn-down
- ↑ https://verilymag.com/2015/10/relationships-dating-saying-no-rejecting-a-guy
- ↑ https://verilymag.com/2015/10/relationships-dating-saying-no-rejecting-a-guy
- ↑ http://www.collegefashion.net/college-life/how-to-not-give-out-your-phone-number/
- ↑ https://www.buzzfeed.com/andyneuenschwander/this-is-the-most-genius-way-to-deal-with-giving-creepers-you?utm_term=.ec2a03PzE#.pl03QVD76
- ↑ https://www.buzzfeed.com/andyneuenschwander/this-is-the-most-genius-way-to-deal-with-giving-creepers-you?utm_term=.ec2a03PzE#.pl03QVD76
- ↑ http://www.collegefashion.net/college-life/how-to-not-give-out-your-phone-number/
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/guy-approved-ways-to-turn-down
About This Article
Article Summary
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Rejecting a guy you don’t want to give your number to can be awkward, but if you thank him for his interest and clearly say no, it should go smoothly. For example, say something like, “I’m flattered, but I’m not in a place to be dating right now, so I have to say no.” Although you don’t need to give him a reason, it might make it easier in some situations. Tell him you have a boyfriend or that you don’t give your number to strangers anymore after a bad experience you had. Alternatively, give him a fake number, like the rejection hotline number. For more tips, including how to stay safe if a guy gets aggressive after you reject him, read on.
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- "Wow, this was really helpful especially in the text and chatting areas. On a whole this has been the best site for tips for dating. Thank you from the 45 year old woman who is just starting to get out and about again in 18 years! Things have changed since my heyday back int he 80's. " ..." more
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"Wow, this was really helpful especially in the text and chatting areas. On a whole this has been the best site for tips for dating. Thank you from the 45 year old woman who is just starting to get out and about again in 18 years! Things have changed since my heyday back int he 80's. "
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"It helped me, as am a teenager, and teens face many problems like this. It tells you how to deal with it."
"The idea of asking for his number worked quite well, as well as those fake ones. Thanks!"
"Most helpful was to be direct with a guy: "No thanks." "Why?" "I am not interested.""
"It's a good idea to give a guy the rejection line."
