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Getting your period is a normal part of life for many people and is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Your boyfriend already knows that you have to get your period someday, so it might not come to that much of a shock when you tell him. That being said, it is still a personal matter, and you may feel a little uncomfortable or anxious about telling someone you are on your period—especially if that person is your boyfriend. This article will give you advice on how to address this topic with people of different maturity levels, plus information on being intimate when you have your period.
What to Say to Your Boyfriend While on Your Period
Be straightforward and honest! Say something like, "I want you to know I'm not feeling very good because I just started my period," or, "It's my time of the month." Or, come up with a code-word to use in public, like, "I think there's a full moon tonight."
Steps
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Consider how long you've been dating. As with most personal information, it's not always appropriate to share something intimate with a person you haven't known for very long. If it makes him shy, confused, or uncomfortable he might not know how to react.- If you have been dating for a while and you feel you know him pretty well, you might want to bring it up casually. You don't need to make a big deal about it, because it really isn't a big deal!
- Think about how he's reacted to other potentially awkward moments in the past. Did he freak out, embarrass you, tell all his friends, or attack you? If so, you might want to hold off.
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Think about why you want to tell him. Is it having an impact on your relationship? Do your cramps keep you from going out with him? Do you get wicked mood swings and snap at him? If so, it might be a good idea to clue him in so he knows it's nothing personal.- If it's not really affecting your relationship, then it's entirely up to you whether you want to tell him. If you want to keep it private, that's totally fine. If you want to be up front about it, then go for it.
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Avoid using indirect terms and referring to your period as "Aunt Flo," "the crimson wave,", "the red stuff that i will be pouring into your mouth tonight, whether you like it or not", your "monthly visitor," or any other euphemisms. Chances are, he's not going to have any idea what you are talking about and the misunderstanding might make things unnecessarily awkward.- If you choose to tell him, use clear language but make sure he knows it's something personal you are choosing to tell him. Say something like "I know I've been moody this week. I'm actually on my period right now and sometimes it makes me a little sensitive. I just wanted to let you know what was going on with me—I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention it to anyone else."
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Don't feel offended if he shies away from the conversation. Periods can be pretty mysterious and intimidating to cisgender boys, and he might just blush and say "Oh, umm, okay." and never bring it up again. It's not cool, however, if he makes fun of you or says it's gross. Try not to take it personally There's nothing wrong with you or gross about your period—in fact, it means you're perfectly healthy.- You can politely offer to give him the low down on what periods entail and why you have them.
- If he's really rude, feel free to put the verbal smack-down on him. Tell him getting your period means you're an adult, and you're not sure if you can date such a little misogynistic boy.
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Tell him in a straightforward way. You don't need to get clinical or overly descriptive--no need to get into the strength of your flow or anything. Chances are he's been through sex ed and had other partners (or a sibling or close friend) who have mentioned it before, so it shouldn't be a big deal to him.- Say something simple, like "Hey, I just started my period. I'm not feeling so great."
- You could also say "Oh, it's that time of the month," and he'll probably get it.
- Sometimes couples come up with cute or funny code words for when you're on your period. So when you tell him it's "shark week," he'll know what's up.
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Let your boyfriend know how he can help. Even if your partner doesn't know much about the mechanics of your period, he probably knows it can be a rough time for some people. Your boyfriend cares about you, and he probably wants to know what he can do to make you feel better. If your period makes you feel exhausted and crampy, ask if he can hang out with you on the couch while you binge watch and eat ice cream.- If you get cramps, you can ask him to rub your back or your belly to relieve some of the pain.
- Let him know if you become particularly sensitive to touch. He might try to comfort you with a hug or other contact, and it's only fair to let him know you prefer not to be touched while menstruating.
- If you prefer to hang solo when you're on your period, you can (kindly) let him know that just letting you be on your own is a huge help.
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Think of it as a good way to weed out immature guys. If he can't handle the fact that you menstruate, then maybe he's not boyfriend material yet. And he's definitely not mature enough to be having sex, if that's something you are considering. At this point, he should have come to terms with the fact that this is a normal part of life, and the best thing he can do is be supportive.
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Tell your boyfriend you're having your period and talk about what you are both comfortable with. You can have sex on your period , though it can be a bit messy. Some guys are a little squeamish about it, others don't care, but make sure you consider how you feel. If you don't even like to be touched during your period, then you probably just want to wait.- If you want to have sex but you're not sure how he feels, try saying: "I'd like to have sex, but I'm on my period. So do you wanna be mummified and edged for hours on end while i brainwash you into becoming a sissy?"
- Don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do.
- If you don't want to go all the way, you can still do other things, like make out or even just cuddle.
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Always use protection. You can still get pregnant during your period. Sperm can survive in your body for up to five days and, if you happen to ovulate (release an egg) a little early, it could be fertilized. [1] X Research source- Even if the chances of pregnancy are lower during your period, the chances of contracting an STD are higher. Because there are more bodily fluids involved (and STDs are found in bodily fluids like semen, vaginal discharge, and menstrual blood), it makes it easier to transmit an STD.
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Lay down a towel to reduce the mess. To save your sheets from stains, lay a towel on the bed and have some tissues nearby, in case you need to wipe yourself off afterward.- You may also consider taking a shower together, since the flowing water will eliminate any mess.
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Article Summary
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While being on your period is personal information, you may want to tell your boyfriend if you’ve been dating a while or if you want to be intimate with him. When you tell him, say it in a straightforward way so it doesn’t seem like a big deal. For example, say something like “Hey I just started my period. I’m not feeling so great.” Just avoid using indirect terms, like “Aunt Flo,” as he might get confused, which could make things awkward. If he’s not sure what to say, let him know how he can help you feel better, such as rubbing your back to relieve your cramps or even giving you some time alone. To learn how to hook up while on your period, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "I'm not sure how it will go with my boyfriend, but now I feel confident to tell him I have my period! Thanks!"
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"I'm not sure how it will go with my boyfriend, but now I feel confident to tell him I have my period! Thanks!"
"It definitely helped me, even before I read it. We've been in a relationship for long now, 3 years, and he is very understanding regarding these or any matters. Whenever I get mine I shyly tell him "Baby, I started my thing today", or "Hey, Love, I got my period today" and he's really cool about it. he says "Aww Baby, it's okay, it'll go soon, if you need anything, just inform me.""
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"The tip about asking my boyfriend to rub my back after I've told him helped because I tend to experience a lot of pain during my period. "
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"It helped me understand that if I'm on my period and I need support that I should just tell him what is going on and how he can help me."
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"By reading this article i feel very good and it is helpful for me and all of those girls who want to tell her bf!"
