How to Ask a Stranger Out Online

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

In the age of the internet, it’s easier than ever to connect to people we don’t know. When you spot a cute stranger online, asking them out is a little different than asking someone out IRL. We’ve compiled some tips to help you (hopefully) get a date with the person of your dreams.

wikiHow Texting Coach - Write the Perfect Text

Not sure how to respond in that dating app or text thread? Enter what the other person said and tell us the type of response you’d like to give. Then let the wikiHow Texting Coach do the rest.


Their Message to You

Type of Response You Want to Send

Your Text

Coach Feedback

Tell the coach any changes you want it to make to the tone or topic. Leave blank if none are needed. Or start over to get help with a different text.

For more personalized dating advice, get the free wikiHow Dating Coach app. Our AI coach will help you write the perfect text and much more.

1

Fill out your profile with your interests and hobbies.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1a\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1a\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-1.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Since the person you’re asking out knows nothing about you, add some information to your profile that explains who you are and what you do. [1] Put up some quality photos of yourself in different scenarios so you look fun and interesting, too! [2]
    • This goes for any online platform, whether it be an online dating profile or just one of your social media accounts. If your profile looks boring or doesn’t have anything on it, your potential date might not want to go out with you.
    • It might also help to check out the other person’s profile before sending a message. That way, you have a little info on them before you start chatting.
    2. Advertisement
2

Send a friendly message to break the ice.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/17\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/17\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-2.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You can even introduce yourself if you want, since you two are strangers. If you have mutual friends, mention that in your opening line. It’s important to establish some sort of rapport before diving into asking them on a date. Try something like: [3]
    • “Hey! I’m Kevin, nice to meet you (virtually).”
    • “Hi Lucy! My name’s Alice. I think you know my friend James.”
    • “Hey, how’s it going?”
3

Get a conversation going.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/44\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/44\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-3.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You’ll have much better success if you talk to them for a few messages before jumping into a date idea. Plus, you can learn a little more about them to see if you two might be a good fit. Check out their profile to get some info, then ask them questions like: [4]
    • “How long have you been rock climbing?”
    • “How’s your day so far?”
    • “What do you get up to on the weekends?”
    2. Advertisement
4

Give them a compliment.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/35\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/35\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-4.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Throughout your conversation, feel free to throw one or two compliments in the mix. [5] You could talk about their personality, their hobbies, or even their career path. Stay away from anything about their physical appearance, though, as that can be a little bit creepy. [6]
    • For instance, you might say, “I really like chatting with you! I feel like we could talk about anything.”
    • Or, “It’s so awesome that you’re into snowboarding. All your videos look so professional.”
5

Ask for their number.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f7\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f7\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-5.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you’ve been having a nice chat but you aren’t quite ready to pop the question yet, see if they want to exchange digits. After that, you can text them a little more before asking if they want to go on a date with you. [7]
    • Say something like, “You seem really cool. Here’s my number if you want to keep chatting.”
    • Or, “I really enjoy talking to you. Do you want to exchange numbers?”
    2. Advertisement
6

Suggest a date activity.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a1\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a1\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-6.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you’re ready to ask them out, think back on your past conversation to find an activity they might like. Then, suggest a specific day and activity for you two to do. [8]
    • For instance, maybe you two talked about how much you both love coffee. In that case, say something like, “I was thinking of checking out that new coffee shop downtown this weekend. Would you like to join me?”
    • If you know they’re into hiking, you might ask, “I’ve never been out to the Multnomah Falls trail. Wanna show me the ropes next week?”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1812 wikiHow readers about which first date they’d like to go on the most, and only 8% said going rock climbing . [Take Poll] A casual activity that helps you get to know one another, like grabbing coffee, might be better for a first date than an intense activity like rock climbing.
7

Ask them for a suggestion.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e1\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e1\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-7.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You can ask them what restaurants they like or where they like to get a coffee. When they give you a suggestion, tell them that it sounds nice and that you two should go. [9] [10]
    • For example, you might say, “What’s your favorite place to grab a drink around here?” When they answer, say, “Wow, that sounds nice. Want to meet me there this weekend?”
    • Or, you might say, “If I wanted to get Italian food, where would I go?” When they suggest a restaurant, say, “That sounds amazing. We should go there tomorrow night!”
    2. Advertisement
8

See if they have any plans this weekend.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2f\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2f\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-8.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you aren’t sure whether or not they like you or not, gauge their reaction by seeing if they have plans. If they aren’t, then you can ask if they want to hang out sometime. If they are busy, it could mean they’re not interested. [11]
    • Say something like, “Do you have any plans this weekend?” If they say no, try something like, “Cool! I was thinking about seeing a movie on Saturday. Want to join?”
9

Try a flirty challenge.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/57\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/57\/Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-9.jpg\/aid12695335-v4-728px-Ask-a-Stranger-Out-Online-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Challenge your potential date to come up with a really awesome date idea. When they do, tell them that they win and you’d like to take them out on that date. [12]
    • Say something like: “I bet you can’t come up with a better date idea than me.” When they tell you their plan, say, “Wow, I take it back—you win. Let’s do that!”
    2. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Tips

      • If they say no, that’s okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you can always try again with someone else!
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      The 15 Best Ways to Answer "Tell Me About Yourself" on a Dating App
      8 Effective Methods to Find a Tinder User Profile Without Signing Up
      Tinder Personality Types: 16 Myers-Briggs Interpretations
      How to
      Ask a Girl for Her Number Online
      Meaningful and Funny Questions to Get to Know Your Dating App Match Better
      How to
      See Who Liked You on Bumble
      How to
      Start a Conversation on Hinge
      How to
      Impress a Girl on WhatsApp
      A Complete List of the Best Dating Apps for Teens
      The 24+ Best Hinge Openers: Funny, Flirty, & Friendly
      The 11 Best Ways to Respond to "Hey" from a Girl on Tinder
      How to
      Make My Boyfriend Blush over Text
      How to
      Make a Hinge Profile: Tips and Examples to Help You Ace Your First Impression
      The Best Tinder Bios & Tips for Guys
      Advertisement

      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about online dating, check out our in-depth interview with Lisa Shield .

      References

      1. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      2. ↑ Lisa Shield. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.
      3. ↑ https://socialself.com/start-conversation/
      4. ↑ Lisa Shield. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.
      5. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      6. ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/how-have-better-conversations-people-you-ve-just-met-according-ncna1005941
      7. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/03/146596/how-to-slide-into-dms-instagram-guide#slide-3
      8. ↑ https://sarahh03.medium.com/how-to-ask-a-woman-out-on-a-dating-app-a-guide-for-men-a84678d98fdb
      9. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 54,414 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement