How to Attract a Cancer Man: Catching His Eye & Getting Him Like to You

A list of traits and behaviors that a Cancer man finds desirable to help you gain his affection

Co-authored by Stina Garbis and Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: November 16, 2024 Fact Checked

Sweet and sensitive Cancer is the zodiac’s most nurturing water sign, so it’s no wonder you’re crushing on him! If you want to know how to charm and attract him until he’s just as smitten with you, we’re here to help. Read on for a complete guide to winning over a Cancer man, including information about his personality and core values that will help you make the best impression possible.

Making a Cancer Man Fall in Love

Approach him first with open body language and a smile.
Build a friendship with him first.
Ask him questions about his family and speak positively about your own.
Be genuine, sincere, truthful, and kind with everyone.
Actively listen to and support his goals.
Open up to him and reveal your vulnerable side.
Show him you want a committed, traditional relationship.

1

Be open and amiable towards him.

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Cancers can be shy and unsure of themselves, so approach them first. Even if he knows he likes you, your Cancer man might not make a move without reassurance. He may struggle with the possibility of rejection if he’s unsure of your feelings, so make sure you have an approachable and enthusiastic demeanor around him that clearly says, “I’m interested!”
- Use your body language to convey interest. Lean in when he talks, smile, make frequent eye contact, and show interest in what he says.
- Be persistent! Go out of your way to say hello and chat with him. Once he can see that your interest is real and lasting, he’ll develop his own attraction for you in return.
- Don’t be aggressive. Be present in his life, but never push or pry your way inside his personal bubble, especially if he seems uncomfortable.

2

Get to know him as a friend first.

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Cancer guys value friendship and find it easier to open up to friends. The key to attracting a Cancer man is making him feel close to you emotionally, and one of the best ways to do that is to be his friend —and let that friendship naturally evolve into romance. Get to know him and his interests gradually. Let him open up to you over time and forge a strong emotional connection.
- Friendship is important to a Cancer guy because it allows him to relax and be himself. Once he’s comfortable, it’ll be easier for him to start thinking of you romantically!
- Don’t be bossy or domineering around him. For all their gentleness, Cancer guys like to take charge too. Be polite and considerate when you spend time with him.

3

Ask about his family often.

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Traditional and devoted Cancer guys tend to have strong family values. Out of all the zodiac signs, Cancer may be the most family-oriented. Odds are, your Cancer man has a lot of affection for his family, especially his mother, and he’ll be delighted if you show interest in them. ^{[1]
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Expert Source

Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.} Ask questions and take the time to learn about his family; it’ll strengthen your bond with him.
- Talk about his family positively once you learn about them. For instance, if you've seen his mother and he shares some resemblance with her, mention it to him.
- You could also compliment the relationship he has with his siblings or remark on how much you think his dad might enjoy this great new book you read.
- Avoid insulting or talking negatively about his family and those he loves.

4

Emphasize your love of family.

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Domestic Cancer men look for partners who share their values. Since Cancer guys are so family-oriented, talk about your love for your current family—and mention any dreams you have about starting a family of your own, too. Cancer men tend to envision themselves having children one day, and his attraction to you will grow if your hopes and dreams line up with his. ^{[2]
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Research source}
- Focus on the maternal side of your family. Talk about things you’ve learned from your mother or happy memories and fun times you’ve spent with her.
- Apart from all the “mom” talk, share a few pleasant family memories from your childhood.
- Show him that you’re a homebody too. Talk about where you live now and the kind of home you dream of someday; it’ll encourage him to share his hopes with you.

5

Be genuine.

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Sincerity will show an intuitive Cancer that you’re trustworthy. Before you can get him to open up to you and establish an emotional bond, you’ll need to get your Cancer to trust you. The easiest way to do that is simply by being honest and sincere around him at all times. Cancer men are extremely intuitive; they can easily sense other people’s feelings and tell when they’re being truthful (or not). ^{[3]
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Research source}
- Cancer is ruled by the Moon, which represents our deepest emotions and spiritual needs. This is why Cancer is so emotionally strong and intuitive!

6

Show kindness to everyone.

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Caring Cancer guys are most interested in people with compassion. He’s attracted to the person you are inside and your strength of character. Show him what a catch you are by being kind to everyone you meet (including him, of course). You can do this by supporting your friends, helping out your family, and performing random acts of kindness for strangers.
- For example, you might help an elderly person cross the street or hold the door for someone who has their hands full.
- If your friend needs an encouraging pep talk, or your brother needs a ride to school, be the first to offer. Look for simple but powerful ways to be kind in everyday life.
- For Cancer guys, attraction is as much emotional and mental as it is physical. He’s not necessarily looking for sexy; Cancer men are compatible with sweet, compassionate, and trustworthy people.

7

Listen to him.

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Emotional Cancers want to express themselves to receptive listeners. You'll be even more attractive to your Cancer crush if you’re willing to really listen to everything he says. He needs to open up at his own pace and might do it slowly, but he’ll adore you if you’re there for him every step of the way. Actively listen when he confides in you to show him how much you care.
- When he tells you about his feelings, validate them rather than dismissing him or telling him to get over it.
- Make it a point to demonstrate that you've been actively listening to him every so often. For example, if he tells you about something he has going on at work in a few days, ask him how it went after the fact.
- Remember important dates like his birthday, a family anniversary, or any other special days he mentions to you as well.

8

Be caring and supportive.

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Cancer guys crave a partner who will match their nurturing nature. Ask about his dreams and aspirations in life and encourage him to reach for the stars. Help him feel at ease by creating a safe space for him to express himself. As much as he loves taking care of his significant other, your Cancer man also wants to feel cared for, supported, and comforted as well. ^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- Cancer guys can be moody at times, so try to make him smile or laugh when he’s down. He’ll adore someone who can help him find the bright side to any situation!
- Show off your homemaking skills, too. Cook him a homemade meal every now and again (if you like to cook) to impress him, or invite him over to cook with you. ^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.}
- Try not to contradict him. If he’s in the wrong, tactfully and rationally correct him without getting emotional. Because he’s so reactive, he might lash out if he feels you’re being harsh.

9

Let him see your vulnerable side.

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Your sensitive Cancer guy wants a partner he can be vulnerable with. Because he’s so emotional, he’ll be most attracted to someone who is equally expressive and willing to open up to him. Share your feelings, hopes, fears, and deepest secrets with him as you grow closer. After all, he wants to connect with you emotionally—which means vulnerability is key.
- Cancer guys love to feel needed and fulfill the role of a protector. By showing vulnerability, you can also show him how much you need (and want) him in your life, making him fall in love faster.
- Since Cancer men tend to be a little insecure, the quickest way to establish a sense of security with your Cancer crush is to take initiative. Being vulnerable will encourage him to do the same!

10

Make romantic gestures for him.

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Nothing warms Cancer’s heart like someone who makes him feel loved . He might like to assume a traditionally male role, but he’s also fairly in touch with his emotions and craves love from his partner. Don’t be afraid to shower him with affection! Surprise him with treats and gifts, offer plenty of physical affection, and do small things to brighten his day. The more affection you give, the more he’ll offer in return. ^{[6]
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Trustworthy Source
Mental Health Foundation
UK charity working towards good mental health for all.
Go to source}
- You don’t have to get him anything big. Just do something thoughtful; you might prepare a candlelit evening with slow music, make his favorite snack, or open a bottle of wine for the two of you to share.
- Offer sweet compliments about his appearance , skills, and the way he makes you feel. Compliments will make your Cancer man feel good about himself!

11

Show him you want a traditional relationship.

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Cancers typically have old-fashioned values and don’t like flings. Make it clear that you’re looking for true romance and a committed relationship, not something casual. Your traditional Cancer guy will likely find this reassuring—and will find himself far more attracted to someone kind, loyal, and modest rather than flashy and raunchy. ^{[7]
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Research source}
- Similarly, rush to initiate intimacy, even if you’re pursuing a committed relationship. Cancer guys are sensual and thoughtful lovers, but jumping into bed too soon will put them outside their comfort zone.

12

Let him pursue you as the relationship develops.

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Cancer guys are Cardinal signs who want to feel like they’re in charge. Plus, since they have such traditional, old-fashioned values, Cancer guys often feel like it’s their job to do the wooing rather than be wooed. Allow him to set the pace and guide the relationship as it progresses, especially once he becomes more comfortable opening up to you.
- Letting him lead will also build your Cancer’s confidence and help him lose some of that insecurity from the beginning of the relationship.

13

Be patient with him.

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Cautious Cancer guys prefer to take relationships one step at a time. Cancers tend to be protective of their emotions because they’re so sensitive inside. Thus, the only way to win his heart and get your Cancer man to open up is gradually and carefully—without pushing for more than he’s ready to give. Be clear that you’re willing to go slowly as the relationship develops. ^{[8]
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Research source}
- Cancer is the sign of the crab, so picture him with a defensive shell around himself. He’ll emerge when he feels safe, but it’ll take time and trust for that to happen. Be patient, and you’ll get there!

Cancer Compatibility Chart

Sample Cancer Compatibility Chart

Learn How to Date a Cancer with this Expert Series

Cancers are a complex mix of loyalty, romance, and dynamism. It can take patience to attract a Cancer, but it's absolutely worth it. This expert series will help you date the Cancer of your dreams.

1

How to Meet and Date a Cancer Sign

2

Flirt With a Cancer

3

Cancer Compatibility: What Zodiac Sign Is Most Compatible with Cancer?

4

Deal with a Moody Cancer Man

5

Cancer Woman: Her Dominant Personality Traits & Characteristics

6

11 Ways to Make a Cancer Woman Jealous