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Since you're on this page, you're either looking to lead a life entirely devoted to prayer and being spiritual or you're fed up with looking at photos of food on Facebook and watching governments self-destruct. Either way, the finer points of being a hermit are the same. Are you ready for a life of near-solitude, sustainability, and resourcefulness? Want to find out?
Steps
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Consider why you would like to become a hermit. What are you trying to avoid or establish? If you have no clear goal, then becoming a hermit will merely be a passing phase. Is this a temporary means of rebellion? Is this to avoid a certain someone or people in general? Is this a type of prolonged "time out" for yourself? Do you feel a spiritual calling to hermitism? What are your personal reasons? [1] X Research source
- Is it the appeal of not being with people or is it the simplicity of the lifestyle that draws you? Does it seem like a passing phase or is it something that's been in the back of your mind for years? It is the symptom of a larger issue? Or is it the only possible solution?
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Determine just how much of a hermit you want to be. Being a hermit doesn't mean you're locked inside your house. Plenty have communication with the outside world or even live with another person. Over half live in urban areas. [2] X Research source Knowing that there's a spectrum to being hermitic, where do you fall?
- In today's world, it's difficult to be entirely self-sustaining. Do you want to build your own house, grow your own food, and rig up your own well system? Or would you rather stay put in your apartment and order Chinese takeout? Both are their own versions of the hermit life. [3] X Research source
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Decide on your home. In the spirit of hermitdom, it is probably best to choose somewhere hidden, small, and modest. Better still if it's environmentally friendly. The more bucolic and out-of-the-way, the better. But if you happen to have a place in the middle of Manhattan, that'll work too (just get sound-proof windows). [4] X Research source
- As for the interior, generally hermits desire simple lives. Some have cable, computers, and are connected, while others spend their hours praying, gardening, and being entirely removed from the outside world. If you are planning on becoming a hermit to rid yourself of the evils and woes of society, you may want to weed through your possessions, removing the clutter from the world around you.
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Think about how you'll go off the map. Do you want to go cold turkey? Just one day wake up in your bed, take a look at the door, and know you'll never leave the woven entrails of your Berber carpet ever again? Or will you slowly limit yourself, demanding an escalating amount of "me" time as the days pass? Better yet...how will you alert the masses?
- How do you become a hermit without upsetting your family? Well, in short, you don't. They are not going to be crazy about you refusing to live like "normal" people do. If this is a concern of yours, for starters, alleviate their worries by explaining your situation and your rationale. Hopefully they'll get it. And, if you'd like, tell them you'll stay in contact. Just because you're a hermit doesn't mean they'll never see you again.
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Consider your mental health. If you never want to see humans ever again (which isn't how most hermits work), you may have a type of avoidant personality disorder, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) [5] X Research source or another undiagnosed mental illness. These two, for example, can make you feel a strong desire to avoid people (so can SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder), but to a lesser extent). [6] X Research source Is this at all possible?
- Visit a therapist if you are considering cutting off communication entirely. It will make friends and family breathe easier, and you owe it to yourself to make certain that you are not self medicating a mental illness.
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Get the funds ready. Unless you work from home and somehow manage to have a job that doesn't provide you with some extreme cognitive dissonance in regards to your lifestyle, you probably won't have a significant, constant flow of income. And you will most likely still need money to survive! It'll be significantly less money you'll need, but you'll still need some. Where will it come from? [7] X Research source
- You still exist. You may have to pay taxes and your student loans won't just go away. You also need food, electricity (probably?), water (definitely), and whatever bare minimum essentials you require. You could try growing a garden with just your bare hands and a blessing from the rain, but it'll be a challenge!
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Stock up on items you need. Since you're staying put for, well, ever, stock up on whatever it is you need. Then, ideally, you can make a trip once a month for eggs and bread or your yearly dalliance with the local grocery store for powdered milk, spices, etc. [8] X Research source Supermarkets can now deliver to your home, but that's just work you'd rather avoid.
- Think of what you'd take with you if you had to go on a month-long vacation to a third world country. Razors? Shampoo? Deodorant? Toothpaste? Books? Batteries? Granola bars? The idea here is to stock up so heartily that all your needs are met within your humble abode.
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Disconnect. [9] X Research source Alright, it's the moment you've been waiting for. Deactivate your Facebook account, give a 140-character goodbye to your Twitter, spend 5 final seconds snapchatting, turn in your cell phone, run over your laptop with your lawnmower, and enjoy. Done. You are now nothing but a memory on the face of the Internet. Congratulations.
- Alright, so you can have a phone. You'll need it to order pizza, anyway. And you can have cable and Internet if you'd like, but you won't really reap the spiritual benefits of being a hermit if you stay connected. So, no, the hermit community won't shun you (there's a thought), but you won't be living up to your reclusive potential.
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Make your environment sustainable. Since you're largely depending on you and you alone, be sure to have everything you need at the ready. Go plant a garden! Build an outhouse! Invest in a bicycle! Get a stock of oil lamps! If it lasts, it's good. [10] X Research source
- Again, this part is up to you. But the more sustainable your environment, the more you can relish in your hermitry. Years will pass and you won't even know it. What do you need to create the life you want to live?
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Develop skills. You know all that time you'll have on your hands contemplating life and your existence? You'll need to kill it! So pick up a paintbrush now (that you fashioned out of a twig and your own hair) and start painting . Learn how to use a Bo Staff. Get the conversational basics of a foreign language down. Journal. Study the plants in your backyard. Learn how to garden. How to sew. The list is practically infinite.
- If nothing else, get the skills down that will make your hermitry easier. This means sewing, cooking, gardening, killing spiders, being handy around the house, etc. Being a hermit is a lot easier when living independently isn't an issue. You can do laundry, right?
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Like yourself. You know why? Because you're literally the only one you'll be around 23.99/7. Don't like yourself and that's pretty terrible company. Terrible company that never goes away . It is possible to drive yourself crazy, which is an ending situation you most likely want to avoid. Don't like yourself and that could happen. [11] X Research source
- Being a hermit, for most, is not a three-month ordeal. It is a life choice that offers much happiness. It's usually done in the second half of life, but it can be done by anyone at any time. [12] X Research source So before you go about isolating yourself from everyone but you, make sure you have "you" on your side.
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Get a hermit helper. It's like a personal assistant, but more alliterative. Sometimes you'll need someone to drop off groceries on your doorstep, to help you with the clogged toilet, to bring over emergency rodent killer, or to help you when you've fallen and broken your leg. It's just good sense. Make sure you have a link to the outside world -- you may end up desperately needing it.
- You don't have to see them if you don't want, but you do have to be able to contact them. Generally speaking, the phone will be the easiest way. If this goes against your principles it's understandable; however, having a phone isn't the same as using it. Have one in case of emergencies. And, yes, it can be a landline. They still have those.
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Put your time to good use. Now that you're not working, not answering other people's obligations, and not worrying about what your hair looks like, what will you do with your time?! If you're like most hermits, you'll spend a lot of time meditating , praying , and enjoying the simple things in life. About time! [13] X Research source
- You'll probably have more time than you even realize. You'll wake when you want, sleep when you want, and fall into a natural cycle of productivity. Find the time that's best for sleeping, eating, and exercising for you . Now that your schedule is all yours, you've no reason to max out your productivity.
- Use this to develop all the skills you wish you had time for in your more cookie-cutter past. Juggle! Plant roses! Make bread from scratch! So many wikiHow articles you could be perusing!
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Dress simply. You're a pretty sad excuse for a hermit if you walk around your house in a pair of Manolo Blahniks all day every day. Technically you're a hermit, but the idea of a hermit lifestyle is to live minimally, to shun extraneous desires and luxury. You don't have to make your own clothes if you don't want to, but do limit your closet to the basics. [14] X Research source
- If Ke$ha can rock garbage chic, you can rock hermit chic. Again with the suitcase metaphor: choose one or two pieces for every possible situation you may find yourself in. That's all you need! When they wear out, well, by then you'll have learned how to sew. Hey, what a nice transition to the next step!
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Watch out for loneliness. When was the last time you went days without even seeing another human being? Yeah, the world sucks, people are terrible, and the human race has long overstayed its welcome, but that doesn't mean loneliness won't come a-creepin'. When it does come, how will you handle it? [15] X Research source
- Loads of hermits have a very small network of people they're comfortable keeping in contact with. You could, feasibly, have one or two people that can remove the moody blues when they set in. Just have this established going into it! It's a lot harder to make friends once you get set in your hermit ways.
- Here's another issue: abstinence . You won't be getting your groove on anytime soon. Like, ever. You cool with that?
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Connect with other hermits. Crazy, huh? But it's a thing. They even have an entire newsletter. Everybody needs someone who understands their trials and tribulations. It's not something you do in person or even on the regular, but reading a pamphlet is certainly a solatium for an otherwise bleak social existence.
- Having a couple of people on your side doesn't take away your hermit cred. If J.D. Salinger had to cross the bridge into town to get his mail, so can you. People are a necessity of life. Like a diet -- if you go cold turkey, you'll fail. Allow yourself a taste (in the non-cannibalistic sense, that is).
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Know the world may offer you a reputation. When the local children start peering into your house, leaving you gifts in the knotholes of trees, rest assured the locals have started talking. Word's going to get out that there's a hermit inhabiting your residence and, lo and behold, it's you. This doesn't have to affect you if you don't let it, but if you ever wish to revisit the world, it will be a challenge. You up for it?
- If you wish to become gainfully employed or even make friends, there may be a legitimate amount of rejection waiting for you. Hermits just aren't "got" in the world today. Why would someone want to abandon the comforts of modern living?! "Once you leave home, you can never go back," is a phrase to keep in mind here. Is it worth it? Maybe.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionHow can I be a hermit even if I am still a teenager?Community AnswerTeenagers can be hermits by avoiding friends, being homeschooled if possible and not seeking activities outside the home. You'll still have to communicate with your family, but you don't have to talk to anyone else.
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QuestionCan I experience being a hermit for just three months?Community AnswerYes, you don't have to do it permanently if you don't want to. Sometimes just a break away from people is enough.
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QuestionIs it an absolute necessity to remain abstinent as a hermit? Am I allowed to have a significant other?Community AnswerI guess it might be possible, though the word hermit implies a solitary life. You don't need to be rigid about it, though. Perhaps you can find a partner that wants to live a very quiet, simple life as well.
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Tips
- There's no need to never ever come out. You are trying to be a hermit, not a dead and buried corpse! Real hermits in the olden days spent lots of time outdoors and had occasional visitors. It is good to see the sun now and then, and maybe some people too.Thanks
- Be prepared to tell people exactly why you've become a hermit. The more calm and reasonable you are about it, the more people will learn to leave you alone.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Make sure to take care of your health while being a hermit. Have a plan and follow through with good sleep habits, nutrition, exercise, and spending time in nature (even if it's just sitting out on your porch or reading under a tree).
- Let the people in your life know before you go off the grid. This can reduce the number of angry people and nasty rumors, which might occur if you disappear without an explanation.
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Warnings
- Do not, above all, parade your hermitdom.Thanks
- People will probably get a bit concerned. Be firm but assuring.Thanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about psychology, check out our in-depth interview with Allison Broennimann, PhD .
References
- ↑ http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20180228-there-are-benefits-to-being-antisocial-or-a-loner
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 https://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/09/realestate/keymagazine/909HSHERMIT-t.html?_r=0
- ↑ https://www.thisisinsider.com/inside-the-lives-of-modern-day-hermits-intimate-photos-2018-12#religion-plays-a-major-role-in-why-denton-decided-to-retreat-from-the-world-as-a-former-nun-her-life-of-isolation-provides-the-perfect-environment-for-prayer-and-contemplation-4
- ↑ https://www.bobvila.com/slideshow/shhh-11-diys-for-a-soundproofed-home-47893
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/post-traumatic-stress-disorder
- ↑ https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/176891.php
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/dec/08/modern-day-hermits-share-experiences
- ↑ http://io9.com/modern-day-hermits-and-robinson-crusoes-470874532
- ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-internet-and-social-media-how-to-disconnect_n_597b73c1e4b06b305561d031
- ↑ https://www.dummies.com/education/science/environmental-science/ten-ways-to-live-sustainably/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201604/10-ways-learn-yourself-better
- ↑ https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/7-ways-make-better-use-your-time.html
- ↑ https://www.thefashionspot.com/style-trends/587095-minimalist-wardrobe/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201702/living-loneliness
About This Article
Article Summary
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Being a hermit is about living a life of solitude, but it’s also about being resourceful and fending for yourself. If you think you’re ready to try the hermit lifestyle, you’ll need to stock up on basic supplies then disconnect from social media, and ultimately, the outside world. It’s easiest to start with small steps when you become a hermit, so try gradually limiting your time with friends and spending more time by yourself. You could use this time to work on your hobbies or to focus on your spirituality or work. You’ll also want to deactivate your social media accounts, and possibly even get rid of your cell phone. To be a hermit long-term, consider getting a studio apartment where you can live on your own. You'll also want to stock up on supplies at the grocery store once a month to reduce the amount of time you spend around other people. To learn how to find a job when you’re a hermit, read on!
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