This article was co-authored by Seth Hall
and by wikiHow staff writer, Johnathan Fuentes
. Seth T. Hall (ICF ACC, CLC, and MNLP) is a Certified Life Coach and Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los Angeles-based life-coaching company that helps people achieve their toughest goals, find their own voice, and think outside the box. He has been a life coach for over 10 years, specializing in personal development, relationships, career and finance, and wellness. He has helped his clients break the negative cycles in their lives and replace them with a positive, proactive mindset. Seth believes that everyone has the potential to live a fulfilling and rewarding life, and works passionately to help them reach their full potential. With a deep understanding of how our minds work and the power of positive thinking, he encourages his clients to find their unique paths in life and find success on their own terms. He is a certified master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a featured co-author for WikiHow, and co-author of "The Mountain Methodโ, โThe Happy Tigerโ, and โThe V.I.S.I.O.N.S. Programโ.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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When someone suffers a loss, offering condolences can give them a sense of comfort. But what if that person is a coworker? As you might expect, expressing sympathy in a professional relationship is both important and meaningfulโand itโs not difficult if you know what to say. Weโve put together a list of condolence messages to say to a colleague, whether theyโve lost a spouse, parent, extended family member, or even their job. Weโve also included email templates for condolence messages. Keep reading to find the perfect way to express condolences to your coworker.
Steps
From the Whole Team or Company
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1Please accept our sincere condolences. Use this in a sympathy card, letter, or any context where you want to come across as more formal. Sometimes, formality is appropriate, especially in professional relationships.
- Mention your sadness by adding โThe whole team is heartbroken for your loss.โ
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2We wish you strength and healing during this difficult time. Support your colleague with this kindhearted message. They may not feel strong yet, and they may not be fully healed. But theyโll know their coworkers are thinking about them, and thatโs what matters.
- Include this towards the end of an email or sympathy card.
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3Please send our best wishes to your family. Acknowledge that their loss is felt by many. After all, when someone passes away, the resulting grief often ripples through families and communities.
- Theyโll appreciate this gesture, even if their colleagues havenโt met their family members.
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4You can count on us to take care of things here for now. Give them peace of mind by taking the burden of work off their shoulders. Theyโll be grateful for the help, especially when they go back to work down the line. [1] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- Add โWe hope you take this time to healโ to give them space to recover.
- Avoid questions such as โIs there any way we can make things easier when you get back?โ Instead, offer to help or encourage them to reach out to the team when needed.
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5Focus on yourself and your family for now. Encourage them to take care of their own needs, and their familyโs, before thinking about work. This also gives them time to address administrative headaches that come with death, like planning a funeral or managing a deceased relativeโs estate.
- If theyโre taking a specific amount of bereavement time, you can mention that time in your message. For instance: โTake the next two weeks to focus on yourself and your family.โ
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6Weโll be here for you when you return. Assure them that their coworkers will help them transition back to work, when the time comes. Going back to โnormalโ is difficult after a major loss, but having support can make that transition easier.
- If youโre not sure when theyโll be returning to work, you can modify it: โWhen youโre ready to return, weโll be here for you.โ
General Sympathy Messages for Any Loss
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1Iโm so sorry to hear of your loss. Use this simple message to express your sympathy to any colleague who has suffered a loss. You can use it regardless of how well you know your coworker or the person who passed away.
- This line can be said in person at a funeral or wake, or in a written message.
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2My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Show them youโre keeping their whole family in your thoughts. Mention specific family members if you know them. For instance, if someone has lost a spouse, you can say โMy deepest sympathies to you and your children.โ
- Mention people by name when possible. For example, if their childrenโs names are Sara and Brian, you could say โMy deepest sympathies to you, Sara, and Brian.โ
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3My heart goes out to you. Write this in an office sympathy card or condolence message. Itโs short, straightforward, and sincereโexactly the kind of note your coworker might appreciate, especially if itโs written alongside messages from other colleagues.
- You can also say โMy heart goes out to your family.โ
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4I have no words. Iโm so, so sorry. Donโt be afraid to admit when words fail you. Sometimes, a loss is just too great to adequately express. By acknowledging this, youโre acknowledging the enormity of what has happened.
- Donโt be afraid of silence, either. Sometimes, a grieving person simply needs to feel seen and heard.
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5Iโll be here for you if you need anything. Let them know youโll still be thinking about them after the wake or funeral. Grieving people may feel isolated and lonely in the months following a loss, once the phone calls and sympathy cards stop. Remind them that youโll still be there to help in the future. [2] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- Reach out to them again in a few weeks or months after the funeral, if you feel itโs appropriate. A quick check-in email or phone call could be greatly appreciated.
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6If thereโs any way I can help when you get back, let me know. Assure them theyโll have your personal support when they return to work. Having a trusted colleague to lean on can be incredibly helpful to someone recovering from a loss. [3] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- If you have a good working relationship with them, offer to help with specific projects or tasks.
Loss of a Parent
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1Iโm so saddened to learn that your mother/father has passed. Use this formal message in an email, card, or other written note. Itโs the perfect tone if you want to be sincere, but keep things professional.
- If their parent died suddenly, tweak the message accordingly: โIโm so saddened to learn of your motherโs unexpected passing.โ
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2Iโm devastated to hear of your motherโs/fatherโs tragic passing. Opt for this sort of message if their parentโs death was especially tragic or traumatizing. Losing a parent to an accident or severe illness is especially painful, and your colleague may appreciate you acknowledging that pain.
- Avoid mentioning the specific way someone died, especially if the death was violent or via suicide.
- Instead, you can acknowledge the circumstances by adding โIโm shocked and heartbroken for your family.โ
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3My deepest condolences for the death of your mom/dad. Choose a more informal tone like this if you know your coworker well. Using a personal touch means a lot when it comes from a colleague youโve worked with for years.
- If your coworker is a very close friend, you can be even more informal: โIโm so sorry to hear about your dad.โ โI heard about your momโs passing. Iโm so sorry.โ
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4As someone who has lost a parent, I feel for you, deeply. Show them that you truly understand how they feel. If youโve lost a parent, you have special insight into their situation. Sharing that insight allows you to connect with them on a more genuine level.
- If you lost your parent recently, you can mention that as well: โHaving lost my mother just last year, I truly feel your painโ
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5May you and your siblings find peace during this difficult time. Acknowledge that their loss isnโt theirs alone. Siblings who lose a parent experience grief together. This can be especially challenging, depending on the relationships they have with their siblings.
- When possible, be specific: โMay you and your brother find peace during this difficult timeโ or โMay you and your sisters find peace.โ
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6My condolences to your children as well, for the loss of their grandparent. Use this to acknowledge the grief that your coworkerโs kids also feel. Losing a grandparent can be devastating, especially for young children.
- If you know their children by name, mention them: โMy condolences to Jason and Michael for the loss of their grandmother, too.โ
Loss of a Spouse or Partner
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1Iโm so sorry to hear that your spouse has passed away. Use this message if you didnโt know your coworkerโs spouse personally. You can also customize it for the gender of the spouse, if you like.
- For instance, โIโm so so sorry to hear that your husband has passed away.โ
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2My condolences for the death of your beloved partner. Choose this if your coworker wasnโt married to their romantic partner. Use words like โbelovedโ or โwonderfulโ to make it clear that their partner was no less important to them than a married spouse.
- Personalize the message by mentioning their partnerโs name: โMy condolences for the death of your beloved partner, David.โ
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3You and your children are in my thoughts. Express your sympathy to their children for the loss of their parent. Itโs a kind gesture, and your coworkerโs kids may appreciate it as well, whether theyโre adults or still very young. [4] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- If you know their children and see them at the wake or funeral, you can offer condolences to them directly.
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4Having lost my own spouse, I understand the pain youโre feeling. Share your experience to show theyโre not alone. If youโve lost a spouse, you can empathize with your coworker on a level that others canโt.
- If your spouse passed away under similar circumstances, you can acknowledge that too.
- For example, you could say: โHaving also lost my wife to cancer, I know the pain youโre feeling.โ
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5Iโm so grateful to have met your spouse before they passed. Mention a time you met their spouse, such as at a work event. You can even mention a fond memory of their spouse, if you have one to share.
- You could say, โIโm so grateful to have met Simon at last yearโs company party. He was such a sweet, funny guy. Iโll remember him fondly.โ
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6Your spouse was a lovely person and Iโll miss them. Use this message if you knew their spouse and were close to them. Sometimes, a coworkerโs spouse is a frequent guest at company events, parties, and after-work gatherings. Mentioning this makes your message more personal.
- If you saw them on specific occasions, you can mention those as well: โYour husband was the life of every holiday party.โ โWe always enjoyed having your wife join us at company picnics.โ
Loss of a Sibling, Close Relative, or Other Family Member
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1My sympathies for the loss of your sister/brother. Write this in a note, card, or email to your coworker. Itโs perfect for a formal message like that. As always, you can mention their sibling by name if you knew them personally.
- For instance, โMy sympathies for the loss of your brother, David.โ
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2I know the pain of losing a sibling, and nothing I say can ease that pain. Show them you understand what theyโre going through. If youโve lost a sibling, you know how painful it can be. Sharing that pain can be comforting to someone in a time of grief.
- Saying โNothing I say can ease that painโ may seem blunt, but some people may find it very sincere.
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3Iโm devastated to hear of your son/daughterโs passing. Say this when a coworker has lost a child. Always use their childโs name if you knew the child personally, or if your coworker ever mentioned their child by name.
- For example: โIโm devastated to hear of Adamโs passing.โ โIโm heartbroken to learn that your daughter, Emily, has passed away.โ
- If you have children of your own, you can add โAs a parent, my heart weeps for your loss.โ
- Remember that losing a child is especially devastating, whether the child was young or fully grown.
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4Having lost my son/daughter, I know the agony youโre feeling. Use this message to connect with them in a way few people can. If you have lost a child, and your coworker has just lost theirs, your words of condolence carry a special weight.
- If you lost your child under similar circumstances, such as due to an illness, you can mention that too: โHaving lost my son to cancer, I know the agony youโre feeling.โ
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5My heart aches for you and your family. Express sympathy for their familyโs pain, too. Losing a sibling may mean that their children have lost an aunt or uncle, or their nieces or nephews have lost a parent. By acknowledging this, you acknowledge the full scope of their grief.
- You can say this to your coworkerโs relatives as well, if you meet them during the wake or funeral.
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6Iโm so sorry for your familyโs loss. Say this to your coworker and their relatives at a wake or funeral. Itโs simple, clear, and appropriate for any kind of loss. You can also write it in a card or sympathy email.
- If youโre using this in a written note, you can modify it to include the familyโs name: โMy condolences to the entire Smith family for this terrible loss.โ
Religious and Spiritual Messages
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1You and your family are in my prayers. Comfort them with a promise that youโll ask God to watch over them. If they share your faith, theyโll almost certainly appreciate it.
- If theyโre not religious or are of a different faith, they may still feel grateful for the gesture.
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2May God give you strength in the face of this loss. Encourage them to turn to God for support. Depending on their specific faith, they may find solace and healing through their relationship with God.
- Feel free to adjust the wording to match their faith, when appropriate. For instance, you could say, โMay Allah give you strengthโ or โMay Jesus give you strength.โ
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3Theyโll be waiting for you in Heaven. Assure them that theyโll see their loved one again someday. This can be hugely comforting to someone who believes in Heaven and the afterlife.
- You can even add that their loved one is waiting in Heaven with other deceased relatives.
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4May your faith guide you during this painful time. Use this for any religious or spiritual person who has suffered a loss. For instance, someone who practices Buddhism may turn towards their faith for healing, even if they donโt pray to any particular god.
- Remember that some non-religious people may still be spiritual, and may appreciate this sort of message.
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5May God watch over you and your loved ones. Remind them of the importance of God in their life during this difficult period. They may believe that Godโs presence could heal and reassure them, and help them move forward.
- Depending on your faith, you could also say โMay Christ watch over you,โ โMay Jesus watch over you,โ or โMay Allah watch over you.โ
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6My church is open to you in this time of need. Invite them into your house of worship if you feel it would bring them comfort. This is an especially kind gesture if you and your coworker share the same faith or beliefs, though it may still be appreciated by someone of a different faith.
- If you belong to the same local house of worship, you can say โYou know our church is open to you in this time of need.โ
- Avoid extending such an invitation if your own religious beliefs conflict with theirs.
When a Coworker has Passed Away
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1My colleagues and I offer our deepest sympathies. Write this in a message to your deceased coworkerโs loved ones. You can even personalize it by naming specific colleagues, or by mentioning the company as a whole. For example:
- โMy colleagues, Jose, Tim, and I offer our deepest sympathies.
- โOn behalf of the entire XYZ Inc. team, we offer our deepest sympathies.โ
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2They taught me so much, and Iโm heartbroken that theyโre gone. Acknowledge if the coworker who died was a mentor, manager, or someone you looked up to. You can also tweak the message to reflect the specific working relationship:
- โMichael taught me how to be a good manager.โ
- โStephanie was a role model to me when I first joined the company.โ
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3They were such a wonderful colleague and Iโll miss them terribly. Express any positive feelings you had about them. You can keep it general, or you can be as specific as you like.
- โAdam had a great sense of humor.โ
- โEmily was the most hardworking person Iโve ever known.โ
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4Iโm shocked by their passing. They were a friend to all of us. Show that their passing is truly a loss for you and your colleagues. Add details about their personality to make the message more personal, or talk about their importance to the team. [5] X Research source
- โHer creativity and energy were infectious. Sheโll be sorely missed.โ
- โWeโll always remember his funny stories and witty jokes.โ
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5Weโve lost a talented leader and role model. Choose this option when the person who died was a manager, executive, or had some other leadership role. Mention their specific position and talents to give the message a more personal touch:
- โHe was a beloved board member and a natural leader.โ
- โShe was a fantastic director and a true visionary.โ
Condolences for When a Coworker Loses their Job
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1Iโm so sorry to see you go under these circumstances. Make it clear that you arenโt happy about the companyโs decision to terminate them. If they were fired, avoid saying so directly.
- If theyโre being laid off, you can acknowledge that as well: โIโm so sorry to see you impacted by these cutbacks.โ
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2You were a fantastic member of the team. Weโll miss you. Tell them that they were a valued and respected colleague. While they may be out of a job, it may be comforting to know that their closest coworkers appreciated their contribution to the team.
- Mention their position, if you like: โYouโre a fantastic programmer.โ โYouโre an excellent tutor.โ
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3Having been in your situation, I know the pain. Remind them that many people get laid off or fired over the course of their careers. They arenโt alone, and theyโll bounce back from this crisis one way or another. Add details about your own experience if you like:
- โI was laid off three times in my first five years as a programmer, so I know the pain.โ
- โI was fired from my first publishing job. It hurt a lot, but I bounced back, and you will too.โ
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4It was a pleasure working with you, and I hope our paths cross again. Keep your professional connection with them intact, even if you donโt work together anymore. Add your contact information or encourage them to add you to LinkedIn or other social media:
- โIโd love to stay in touch. Add me on LinkedIn.โ
- โFollow me on Instagram and let me know how youโre doing. Iโll be sure to send gig opportunities your way.โ
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5Please let me know if I can help during this transition. Offer them support as they begin looking for work. Put them in touch with other employers, especially if you have contacts at other organizations. Help them wrap up their projects before their last day.
- Avoid being pushy. If they decline your help, accept their answer and let them know youโre available if they change their mind.
Example Sympathy Emails
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1From the whole team/office: Dear Emily,We are so saddened to hear about your momโs passing. Please accept our condolences for your loss.We know this is a difficult time for you and your family. Please take as much time as you need before returning to the office. Donโt worry about your workload. The team will handle everything until you get back.Wish sympathy,Mike Miazatti, Angela Smith, and the rest of the marketing team
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2From one colleague to another: Dear Michael,I am writing to offer my heartfelt condolences for the passing of your wife, Maria. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Donโt worry about your projects here at the office. The rest of the team and I will handle everything while youโre gone. In the meantime, I hope youโll find healing and peace.With deepest sympathy,Dana Yoshizuki
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References
- โ https://hbr.org/2017/04/how-to-offer-support-to-a-grieving-colleague
- โ https://hbr.org/2017/04/how-to-offer-support-to-a-grieving-colleague
- โ https://hbr.org/2017/04/how-to-offer-support-to-a-grieving-colleague
- โ https://hbr.org/2017/04/how-to-offer-support-to-a-grieving-colleague
- โ https://www.hr.emory.edu/eu/_includes/documents/sections/hr-rep-resources/sample-communication-employee-death.pdf