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Going to a movie or watching it at home can be a very fun activity, whether you’re with friends, siblings, or on your own. However, at times your parents might have concerns regarding a movie’s content and may not let you see it. As frustrating as this might be, you can have an honest conversation with your parents and see if you can change their mind. Educating yourself on the movie and sharing with your parents why you want to see it can help a lot. Even if they say “No” at first, acting more mature and responsible can show them that you deserve to see it and increase your chances of a “Yes” later!
Steps
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Search the movie online and check its rating. Go to film review websites such as IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes, and check the movie’s rating and the awards it received. Having reliable outside sources that show how good the movie is will help your argument on why you should definitely see this movie. [1] X Research source- Ratings are important, but so is their date. A PG-rating in the 70's or 80's is different from a PG-rating today. Make sure you check the date of the movie, and have your parents evaluate the rating accordingly.
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Read reviews. Whether it’s other viewers’ or famous critics’, reading reviews on websites like IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes will help you see different opinions regarding the quality of the movie, and will likely give you more reasons why you should watch it.- Parents might value other parents’ opinions more when it comes to screening movies, so try to find reviews of the movie at sites that are made specifically by parents, for parents, about the content of movies. [2] X Research source
- Many movies on websites like IMDB include parents guides that are often quite helpful.
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Talk to your friends’ parents. Ask them what they think of the movie. If they have positive views, ask if they would be willing to share those with your parents. -
Read the book first, if applicable. If the movie was a book initially, read it. This will show your parents that you’re invested in the movie, and it might make them happy to see that you are reading. You might want to discuss the book with your parents as well. -
Include the movie in your studies. Realizing that the movie can help your studies will encourage your parents to let you see it. You can try to incorporate the movie into a school project and thus see it.- For instance, you can read the book and then see the movie to compare differences between film and literature representations in a written essay or an oral presentation.
- You can also see the movie as an example of some kind of social problem (like how Fight Club deals with male aggression), and write a critical analysis on it.
- If you were planning on seeing the movie with your friends, you can turn this into a group project. Your parents might enjoy seeing you enhance your teamwork skills and socialize at the same time.
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Ask your parents to talk. Make sure it’s the right time. If your parents seem stressed about a work deadline or cooking dinner for a big party, you might want to pick another time when you can have their full and calm attention. [3] X Research source- Simply approach them and say, “Hey Mom and Dad, do you have a minute?” or “Mommy/Daddy, I’d like to talk to you about something.”
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Show appreciation. It is always great to start with showing appreciation for all that they have done for you, to let them know you are not taking them for granted. [4] X Research source- You can mention how it made you very happy when they let you do another fun activity in the past, or let you see a movie before, and remind them that you are very thankful for those. Showing them how it was a positive experience when they gave you permission for something might increase your chances with your new request.
- For instance, you can start by saying, “I had a great time going out with my friends last month and it really strengthened our friendship, so thank you for letting me do that,” and later add, “I think going to this movie with them might be equally fun and rewarding!”
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Introduce your request directly. Although showing appreciation is important, keep it short and get to your main point; don’t ramble or confuse your parents on what you might ask. Tell them directly that you want to see this movie and that you’re asking for their permission. [5] X Research source- Try to include the specific details, such as “I’d really like to see the movie Leap! on Friday at 6 pm at this theater with Sam and Norah from school, and it would make me very happy if you let me do that.”
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Share your research. Tell your parents about the movie’s reviews, ratings, awards, and if possible, that you can connect them with your friends’ parents to see what they think.- Use your research to make your reasons stronger. For example, say “I really want to see Leonardo DiCaprio in this movie because he won the Academy Award for the male lead,” or “ Spider-Man: Homecoming received a 7.9 rating on IMDB, so I think it might be a great film!”
- If you’ve decided on doing a school project on it, mention that immediately and tell them how seeing the movie will help you academically and intellectually.
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Share your reasons honestly. Be honest about why you want to see the movie and share this with your parents. Doing your research will likely strengthen your reasons to watch the movie, but beyond that, your personal reasons matter.- Don’t hesitate to share why you care about seeing this movie. If it’s because you want to bond with your classmates at your new school, say “Some of my new classmates are going to see this after school, so I want to spend time with them and also enjoy this movie!” If there is an actor in it whom you really love, let your parents know how it gets you excited!
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Address their concerns. Your parents might be concerned that the movie includes inappropriate content such as scenes of violence or sex. Tell them that you are aware of this content and how it might be harmful, but that you are also cautious and mature enough to handle it.- For instance, if there are bloody scenes of fighting, say, “I know this movie has some scenes of violence, but I know that violence is never the solution to anything. I’m also aware that all of it is merely acting, and not real.”
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Be respectful and kind, not demanding. If your attitude says, “You have to let me see this movie!”, it is likely that you won’t get your parents’ permission. Remain calm and make them feel that you value and respect their opinion.- If you find your tone getting demanding, take a few, deep breaths slowly, and start talking in a low, friendly voice.
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Empathize with your parents. After you've delivered your request calmly and kindly, your parents might still say, “No, you absolutely cannot see this movie.” Although at times it might not make any sense why they wouldn’t let you see a movie, trying to understand their reasons might give you a new perspective.- Ask them why they don’t want you to see it, and listen to them carefully. Try to really understand what their points and concerns are. You might be surprised to see how some of them might make sense. [6] X Research source
- Ask them if they would let you see it when you are older, or not at all, and have them explain why or why not.
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Ask them to pre-screen it for you. Oftentimes parents are concerned about sex and nudity, profanity, drugs and violence included in the content of the movie. Ask them if they can see it first, and screen it for you, or if there is a family-friendly version they can have you see. -
Start acting more mature. One of the reasons why your parents won’t let you see the movie might be that they think you are not mature enough. Acting more responsibly will show them otherwise, and even if they don’t let you see a movie now, they might change their mind later.- Help with household chores such as washing the car or doing laundry, clean your room, and make your bed regularly.
- Be nice and respectful to your siblings and parents, and don’t start fights.
- Be understanding and stay calm even if you don't get your way with certain things. This will show that you are mature enough to handle failure or rejection, and that you are determined.
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Ask them again later. Once you’ve intentionally started behaving better and proved to your parents that you are more mature than they might think, try asking them again after a while. [7] X Research source- You can also suggest doing something in return, for instance, helping with the dishes daily or vacuuming the living room for a month, if they let you see this movie.
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Stay calm and respect their decision. No matter what your parents reply with, you should always learn to respect their decision and act your best. If they do not say “Yes” immediately, it’s very important that you stay calm instead of getting angry or throwing a tantrum. Otherwise, you might ruin your chances of a “Yes” forever.- The best, most mature and responsible thing to say would be: "I understand—you're telling me that I can't go out. In the future, what do I need to do to make it to a point where you would let me go out? Are there things I need to do to rebuild your trust?"
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I convince my parents easily?Dr. Jessica Swenson is a Community Psychologist & Licensed Clinical Therapist and the Founder of Transformative Growth Counseling. With over 10 years of experience, she specializes in relationships—both romantic and familial. She earned her PhD in Community Psychology from National Louis University and her MS in Clinical Psychology from Roosevelt University. She’s also a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional.I think the best way to convince your parents that you're gonna go out is establishing a basis of trust with them. A lot of times, when a parent doesn't want you to do something, it is usually based on something that you did before that broke that trust. Be responsible and accountable on a day-to-day basis to help you convince them easily in the future.
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Tips
- Show that you're committed to seeing this movie.Thanks
- They are your parents, so you can just talk to them and show your point of view on why you would like to go to the movie.Thanks
- Tell them you agree on all rules, and take your cell phone with you if you're going without adult supervision.Thanks
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Warnings
- Asking parents to pre-screen can backfire, as they might find it inappropriate and confirm their decision not to let you see it.Thanks
- Be honest with your parents but make sure the reasons you share are appropriate for them and won’t alarm them.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.raindance.org/top-10-film-review-websites/
- ↑ http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/8-great-movie-review-sites-for-parents-with-kids-in-mind/
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
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Reader Success Stories
- "I wanted to watch "The Silence of the Lambs", but my parents said no. I did some research, then told them about all the awards it has won, the ratings, and how I enjoyed the book. After a conversation, (and a film teacher's recommendation) they agreed!" ..." more
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"I wanted to watch "The Silence of the Lambs", but my parents said no. I did some research, then told them about all the awards it has won, the ratings, and how I enjoyed the book. After a conversation, (and a film teacher's recommendation) they agreed!"
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"I haven't tried this but most of it sure sounds like a very good way to ask my parents, it also suits their way of educating me. I am 13 year old and I have a younger sister who had already asked to watch this film, and they said no but I have hopes!"
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"This helped me because it really showed the simplest ways I could improve my talking back and attitude when my parents say no."
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"I wanted to see the latest movie. It helped; my parents were suspicious about that because I'm sneaky."
"Talk your parents, see if they'll let you go with friends."
