How to Free Your Ego (According to Eckhart Tolle)

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   Monitor what happens in your head. Our mind is conditioned by thousands of years of cultural, societal, genetic, and years of personal conditioning, which have a strong momentum. So trying, controlling, suppressing, resisting, or using will power, which are aspects of limited mind, in an attempt to dissolve the mental conditioning and pain are futile and strengthen the ego. ^[20] It's because problems of the mind cannot be solved at the level of the mind. That's why it is said that you don't become good by trying to be good, but finding the good that's already within you. ^[21]

   • So simply watch the automatic conditioned narration or commentary of mind with high alertness to go beyond it. When you watch, you reclaim trapped consciousness from the mind and more clearly see the dysfunction and irrationality of the 'voice in the head' that causes so much self-created suffering by resisting, commentating, and labeling 'what is'. ^[22] Its because 'Watching' or awareness is a new dimension of consciousness that is not part of thinking mind. More you watch or negate the mind and/or feel the formless dimension, compulsive and conditioned thinking slows as watching or negating imply stepping out of it.
   • Example: Have you noticed when you procrastinate, the 'voice in the head' or sensation of thought and emotions that accompany it say something like 'I can do it later' or 'You have lot of time', etc.? If you simply observe the voice or allow it to be, even if it hypnotizes you to procrastinate, because of degree of identification with it, you may notice how dysfunctional the voice and unproductive procrastination are. In a way, it's like collecting evidence (truth) to see the insanity of the 'voice in head' more clearly and to disidentify from it. That's when presence deepens, and ego starts to dissolve and separation of thinking (observed) and awareness (observer) begins. As you realize that you are not your mind but the observing presence or awareness behind it. This realization is the greatest discovery of humanity.
   • Similarly, when you detect mental-emotional resistance within, just observe and allow it to be. Deeply realize that resistance serves no purpose and in fact is dysfunctional, can never dissolve the pain, keeps the undesirable situation, condition and thought patterns in place, and is more disturbing than the original cause its trying to dissolve . ^[23]
     • Watching the 'voice in head' or mind also implies to watch and detect the background psychological unease, non-verbal urges, tension, impulses, negative emotions, mental noise and pre-verbalized thoughts and reactions, which are aspects of egoic mind, that are so deeply embedded and considered normal that many people are not even aware of them.
   • Watching doesn't mean criticizing or condemn or ignoring or fighting the 'voice in head', else it would be the same voice that came through the back door. This also implies to not treat Ego as an obstacle or enemy. Again, you can never dissolve unconsciousness or Ego and emotional pain by fighting, resisting, trying, controlling, suppressing, making it a personal problem or running away from them. Bringing them in the 'light of your awareness' is all that is needed. In other words, to dissolve the ego, in essence, there is no doing or trying required but an alert seeing and/or shifting attention to the Now and/or acceptance and/or negating the egoic mind. So watch it impartially without judgement.
     • Here's another way to look at it: Fighting, resistance, reactions, suppression, trying, condemning etc. arise in form of conditioned thoughts, emotions or reactions, and you are not your thoughts, reactions and emotions. In other words, one part of mind is fighting the other part. True intelligence is formless, unconditioned and intuitive. That's why be aware of deeper feeling responses as you read.
     • "Don't take your thoughts seriously." Eckhart Tolle.
   • Being rooted in the inner body is an essential aspect of being present and to be the watcher of the mind. Else, the mind will take you over like a wild river. When you are rooted in your spacious inner body, attention is withdrawn from the mind or Egoic structures, to the Now. That is to say, attention remains in its unmanifested state. You can also experiment to notice that there's no suffering when your attention is in the Now. While you suffer when attention is trapped in useless and compulsive thinking, mental patterns, emotions (negativity) and reactions.
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   Transcend the Karmic cycle and Ego created drama. Watching the thinker (mind) and emotions also transcends you beyond Karmic cycle. It’s because when you are in mind identified state, you are subject to karmic cycle of action and reaction, good or bad, because your actions and words arise out of your conditioned mind, which is dysfunctional and based on past. However, when you simply watch, a new dimension of consciousness emerges through, that is not part of thinking and not subject to law of karmic cycle and mind made 'polar opposites'. As awareness has no opposite because it’s formless and beyond form. That's why just being aware and non-reactive is so powerful and peaceful. This is the peace of One Consciousness or formless awareness that Jesus pointed to when he said "And the peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and mind".
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   Observe that the conditioned mind or Ego feeds on negativity. Have you noticed that when you feel sad, anxious or any other form of negativity, there is something in you that craves more drama, negative thoughts, reactions, emotions, and situations? You are looking at the ego that feeds on negativity (pain, stories, drama, and conflict) to ensure its survival. ^[24]

   • "Ego thinks staying in the state of negativity and unhappiness (resistance) will get what it wants"- Course of miracles. That is, of course, a delusion. Otherwise, who would want to remain stuck in unhappiness? ^[25]
   • If "you"—the mind—did not believe that unhappiness works, why would you create it? The fact is, of course, that negativity (resistance) does not work. Instead of attracting a desirable situation, it stops it from arising ^[26] Also resistance feeds the ego, that's why it loves it. So, it becomes more important to acknowledge and watch or allow the resistive mental-emotional patterns than incessant thinking or events (thoughts, people, situations, conditions etc) that trigger it.
   • You can also practice 'relinquishing resistance' or 'accepting what is' as an experiment to see if it works for you or not.
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   See the 'suchness' or 'isness' of the moment. Here are some examples of mental stories and narrations of 'what is' that cause so much unnecessary suffering. Often these mental stories are distortions of the truth and designed to trigger the biggest possible reactions, so Ego can feed on them to strengthen its false sense of self.

   • "She rejected me, I am ugly and a loser", "Why is it raining? I hate this weather", "He didn't have the decency to text me back.", "I am feeling so much pain. Why this feeling won't go away?" etc.
   • Can you refrain from adding mental stories commentary or narration to 'what is' and just see the 'suchness' or ‘fact of this moment’? Buddha called it Tathata . How simple life would be without those mental stories. ^[27]
   • She didn't want to talk to me , It is raining , He didn't reply , There’s unease and tension in my body.
   • You don't suffer or feel uncertain or angry or sad because of the situation or condition or pain. However, you feel unhappy because of the automatic negative thoughts or stories that come in response to it and degree of identification with them.
   • "There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so." William Shakespeare.
   • Here's a spiritual practice: watch the situation or condition as well as the mental-emotional reactions or thoughts that come in response to it. Rather than getting lost in an event and/or letting the reactive conditioned thoughts, emotions, and resistance become unconscious and run your life.
   • It makes it easier to watch when you smile.
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   Relinquish mental positions. Mental positions like viewpoints, opinions, dogmas, interpretations, etc., which by their very nature are limited and are ultimately no more than a bundle of thoughts that the Ego has identified with to get a false sense of "I know" and "self". This identification has caused separation, conflicts, violence, and wars. While only "inner space" or unconditioned consciousness or presence within can provide a true perspective or holistic answer that's in alignment with the totality of the universe.

   • Be aware and alert as the ego is very clever as it may identify with facts and make them as mental positions to ensure its survival. For example: the relative fact that the earth rotates or spins towards the east may become a mental position in your head and in case you get into an argument with someone about it, you may be defending your mental position and not the truth. Like "Believe me that earth rotates towards the east". Look closely and you will see that Ego is hiding in the word "me".
   • "Truth doesn't need any defense." Eckhart Tolle.
   • Here's an experiment: Next time you feel a compulsive need to be right, urge to react, argue, resist, interject, control, defend a mental position etc., which is basically identification with mind i.e. ego and a form of violence, can you drop it just to see what happens? Allowing the 'false self' to diminish and de-emphasizing your form of identity are powerful spiritual practices. That is what Jesus meant when he said "Deny thyself". In other words, deny the false in you.
   • This allowing of the diminishment or vulnerability makes way for your true power to shine through. The formless truth within that you are beyond your name and form.
   • "Only by becoming vulnerable can you discover your true and essential invulnerability" Eckhart Tolle.
   • However, it doesn't mean to let yourself be abused by people or put up with bad behavior. There may be times when you would have to say a non-reactive and firm no (in no uncertain terms), express something clearly, take action, walk out of a situation, etc. With spiritual energy behind your words and actions, there will be great power. It’s because non-resistance makes way for the greatest power in the universe; the Intelligence itself.
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   Take responsibility for your inner state Now. "The world can change only from within" (Eckhart Tolle). What we see externally (man-made) is a result of what we thought once. Every creative and truly intelligent idea comes from the realm of consciousness , which is materialized using mind; an instrument. That's why if your inner psyche is polluted i.e. when you are completely identified with dysfunctional mind, then the materialized form will be polluted as well. ^[28] It's because conditioned mind obscures the true intelligence to shine through.

   • On an inner level when the mind resists what is, negativity arises. This pollutes your beautiful and sacred being or 'inner space' and that's what is seen externally in the world we inhabit. ^[29] It's because the world is just a reflection of your inner state.
   • “The pollution of the planet is only an outward reflection of an inner psychic pollution: millions of unconscious individuals not taking responsibility for their inner space.” (Eckhart Tolle).
   • Resistance or negativity is also the cause of leakage or exhaustion of vital energy which could have been used for other constructive things or to resolve or deal with the situations or challenges, instead of internally fighting them.
   • Taking responsibility of your inner space , which is the only thing you can truly take responsibility of, will rapidly deepen and transform your life. ^[30]
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   Feel the emotions. Just like observing the thoughts and reactions, observe or feel the emotions. Feel them fully. We are pointing to the egoic emotions and not the primordial emotions, fight or flight. Egoic emotions come in response to unhappy(mostly fearful) egoic thoughts. Since body cannot tell the difference between thoughts and what's actually happening, so egoic emotions have no outlet because there's no actual danger. So the energy becomes toxic and interferes with the harmonious functions of the body and creates illnesses. Which is why it is said Ego is pathological. ^[31] Rest of the residual energy joins with other similar frequency negative emotions, accumulates over time and becomes pain-body.

   • So it’s important to stay alert, feel and accept the emotions as they arise. Or else life span of emotions will become longer and longer, which is unnatural, and cause illnesses and more unhappiness. Which is a collective disease on our planet.
   • As your presence deepens, you will have more and more of a choice to step out or negate egoic emotions to the inner-space. Deeply you will realize that fighting the emotions only keeps them alive and feeds them. Stepping out is the only way. Stepping out also implies allowing, negating and disidentifying from them.
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   Recognize what the term pain-body is pointing to. Have you noticed a surge of heaviness in your body which gets triggered by some event, thought, condition, situation, or person that is peculiar and painful to you? A dark heavy cloud or "parasitic entity", in your chest, head, face, heart, etc., consisting of similar frequency negative emotions that takes you over, attract negative situations and people in your life, depletes you of energy, inflicts mental-emotional suffering on yourself and others, makes your thinking extremely negative and may even make you attack others (physically and/or emotionally and/or verbally) or become their victim ^[32] That's pain body. Pain-body is one of the most powerful things that Ego can identify with. So it has great power to make you do or say things which you usually would not say or do when you are relatively more conscious. For example: "Normal" people commit heinous crimes during road rages. ^[33]

   • Emotions are a reflection of mind in body, so when pain-body gets activated, it rises up to mind and makes your thinking extremely negative through negative emotions and then feeds on negative thoughts. As positive thoughts are indigestible to it. This loop continues until Pain-body has fed and then it becomes dormant. Although, some people may have a pain-body that is active all the time.
   • Recognize and allow it to be. Every time you recognize and/or witness this unholy alliance between ego and pain-body, it loses energy and looks for another opportunity to feed, when you are less conscious. As unconscious identification and resistance feed the pain-body ^[34] So, it’s an effective practice to catch and witness the pain-body in its early stages, before it takes you over. That is to say, detect it the moment it becomes activated or comes out of its dormant state.
   • Since there's no way out of pain (anxiety, fear, anger, worry, sorrow or whatever it is) the only way is through. Take your attention deeper into it or feel it fully but don't think about it. In other words, bring the pain-body into your 'light of consciousness' or accept it rather than fighting or trying to control or run away from it. Which are futile anyway and cause further suffering. In case pointers like 'allow it to be' or 'feeling it fully' get misinterpreted as clinging, dwelling, or resisting the pain body, it helps to shift attention from pain-body to the inner energy field of body (wherever it feels most natural) and/or breath and/or sense perceptions and/or constructive activity. Especially when pain-body is about to get activated. If that's not possible, accept it as part of "suchness" of the present moment by allowing it to be there or remove yourself from the situation, if possible.
   • When you become friendly with your pain and/or don't resist it i.e. when you allow it to be, only then it becomes a fuel that transforms into consciousness, like coal that burns into heat and light.
   • "If you don't mind being unhappy then what happens to the unhappiness?" Eckhart Tolle.
   • You can express or describe the isness or fact of how the pain-body feels like but don't let it come up and turn into thinking. ^[35] . Even if it comes up, watch or negate the negative thoughts.
   • When you become unconscious, that is to say when you become identified with thinking and emotions (or pain body), then later guilt may arise. Which may say something like "I shouldn't have lost my calm there.", "I shouldn't have said those things." etc. Observe and allow it to be. As guilt is one of the cleverest ego's strategies to keep you identified with it. In other words, resisting or identifying with the feelings and thoughts of 'guilt' means Ego came through the back door. So, simply forgive yourself and enter the Now from there. Why add a layer of negative story and psychological pain to 'what already is' the case? Forgiveness becomes easier when you deeply realize that one doesn't have a "choice" when they are in the grip of the pain-body and/or Ego but to act them out. Although they still suffer the consequences of their unconsciousness i.e. identification with mind.
   • As long as the structure behind pain-body and Ego is not recognized as impersonal and not who you are, they will take you over again and again and make you unconscious, spiritually speaking. Also, it’s essential to dissolve the pain-body to be free of Ego, as they are close relatives and need each other.
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   Accept what is. The most natural way to live life is to completely accept the present moment the way it is. ^[36] In other words, offer no resistance to life. Which is now and never not Now. There is a saying in Zen, "All that arises, passes away." Which means resistance is futile. The more you are aware, deeply you realize this to be true. So completely accept whatever arises in the present moment, as if it was your choice . ^[37] For example, people around you, your habits (bad or good), your physical appearance, thoughts you are thinking now (including persistent negative mental-emotional patterns, blockages , interpretation or commentary of the events, people, thoughts about things you said or did), suchness of pain-body, your location, life situation at this moment, experiences, condition you are in, etc. Fundamentally, accept any form this moment takes without adding any judgments or mental labeling or commentary, because it is as it is. Deeply realize that your whole life unfolds in the Now. This renders the mind powerless because its very nature is based on a dysfunctional relationship and resistance to 'Here and Now' or 'what is'. In addition, resistance is what keeps the suffering and pain alive. In the state of acceptance, you clearly see what action, if needed, to take. This action is truly intelligent because it's in alignment with One consciousness .

   • Negativity or dissatisfaction may motivate you to take action to change your life situation, but sooner or later you will realize that it keeps you stuck in suffering; even if your life situation and external environment has drastically improved. It's because inner resistive patterns have not been dissolved.
   • If acceptance of the outer form is not possible then bring inner acceptance. This means to say an 'inner yes' to present moment, doesn't matter what you say or do externally. What does it mean to say an 'inner yes' or 'surrender to what is'?
   • It means to say 'yes' to the thoughts (including stories), persistent reactions, mental patterns and emotions that are arising at "this" moment in response to anything (situation, condition, people, other thoughts and emotions), by allowing, accepting, watching, being aware, giving them full attention, etc. However, you don't have to follow them. It’s because identification with thoughts and emotions creates a lot of problems too. ^[38] When there is true inner acceptance, you step out of thousands of years of conditioning or 'living past' in you and an intelligent response, if required, comes from infinitely intelligent 'unconditioned consciousness' or space within. Not from the limited conditioned mind.
   • There will be times when you would have to say 'No’, but that would be a deeper or a high quality 'no', not a reactive or conditioned one. So do experiments, like non-reactively refuse to follow some thoughts and emotions (including pre-verbalized thoughts and reactions) and then see the result. However, there should always be an inner acceptance or inner yes. Or else you will suffer. Again, suffering, which is psychological, always arises due to some form of non-acceptance (negativity or resistance) to 'what is' and not because of the situation, person, inner thoughts, emotions, sensations or condition.
     • Here's an experiment to see it: Whenever you detect pyschological pain in you, intensely become aware of inner space and/or breath or negate it or feel the inner body. See if it dissolves the pain partially or fully. Smiling also helps to shift attention to the Now.
   • When you are completely in inner alignment with what happens or arises in the now, that is to say when you are 'one with life,' circumstances or conditions lose power over your state of consciousness. Just like the depth of the lake remains unaffected regardless of the weather. The miracle is when you are in inner alignment with 'what is', outer circumstances and inner conditions (illness, pain, wounds, etc.) tend to heal or improve greatly and quickly without a great deal of doing on your part. Also, synchronistic chance encounters and favorable events happen more frequently. It’s because you are connected to One Consciousness or One life underneath all forms.
   • If acceptance is not possible then accept that you cannot accept. This means allowing the thoughts, reactions, and patterns of non-acceptance to be. Otherwise, take action or remove yourself from the situation, if possible. Anything else is madness.
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   Make the present moment your best friend. The timeless present moment is your greatest friend because that's the only time there is and when you have access to One Life or presence you are in essence. However, when you treat the Now or whatever arises in the Now as a 'means to an end' or an obstacle or enemy, that's when you feel pain and lost because you are cutting yourself off from that power. Deeply realize that you can never escape, have never escaped, and will never escape from the present moment. ^[39] Since there is no escape from the Now, so why not become friendly towards it or at least accept it? That's when Life works with you. ^[40]

   • What is now? The timeless space of consciousness where all forms (thoughts, emotions, reactions, sensations, visuals, sounds, taste, touch, words, sensations, people, events, and so on) come and go. ^[41]
   • "Stay at the center of the circle and let everything fall into place" (Tao Te Ching). What is the 'center of the circle'? The space of present moment.
   • Past and future are no more than thoughts that you are thinking in the 'Now'. So why give them any reality?
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   Surrender. "Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life" (Eckhart Tolle in "The Power of Now"). In other words, surrender is inner acceptance of what is, without any reservations. ^[42] In more direct words, Surrender is allowing or accepting the thoughts, reactions, and emotions that are arising at "this" moment in response to anything (conditions, situations, thoughts, memories, sensations, surroundings, emotions, or people).

   • Don't misinterpret the meaning of surrender. For example: If you have a disease or illness and you say "Ok...I surrender to the illness", which is a mental position, that's not surrender. Surrender doesn't mean resigning or ignoring the life situation, condition, or story about illness and do nothing about it, which wouldn't work anyway, but yield to whatever arises within (thoughts, emotions, reactions, pain, pressure in body, sensations, etc.) in the tiny segment called the Now . Else, the clever Ego will continue to survive underneath the mental label or concept of surrender.
   • Ask yourself, "What's the problem at this moment?" You are reading 'this' now. Even if you are suffering from a terminal condition or illness, that condition, at "this" moment, could be pressure, weakness, physical pain, burning sensation, tension, etc. you are experiencing somewhere in your body and head, and that is what you surrender to. In addition, allow or accept the label of condition, emotional story, idea of illness, condition or life situation that say something like "I have had this condition my whole life. Life has treated me harshly" or "I have been suffering from depression for last 20 years" and/or "I am dying from cancer" and/or "I was betrayed/rejected by my own family", “What happened with me was wrong.”, "I have been trying to get what I want for a long time." etc. Allow these Egoic stories or mental commentary, which are conditioned thoughts accompanied by negative emotions that are arising in the space of Now, to be. Also, notice that these stories and thoughts make you suffer so much more than the actual situation or condition. Some of these thoughts (stories) can be pretty deep-seated, so an intense alertness is required to bring them in the light of your awareness and accept them. However, if these stories have become part of your identity or sense of self, you may not be able to recognize them for what they are and let go of them.
   • There's no suffering in the Now because there are no problems in the Now. As suffering needs time and a mind-made story. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. It’s because that's the most precious thing and the only time there is.
   • Ego loves to identify with labels or stories or problems, complain, react, etc. without any true intention of solving or letting go of them. In fact, the ego never wants an end to its problems because it gives it a false sense of self or identity. Without them, who are you? So, you will only surrender when you are ready to let go of the victim story, negative thoughts about illness or condition or something that happened, resentment, complaints, resistance, etc. because you realize that they have no purpose other than to keep the 'false sense of self' or Ego and suffering alive. Even if you need to take action to resolve a life situation or deal with a condition or challenge, you can do so Now because the time is always Now and you have power only in the Now.
   • "What at this moment is lacking?" (Zen saying)
   • Surrender happens naturally when you relinquish the 'inner state of war' or resistance, and suffer willingly because you see the futility and suffering nature of inner resistance and egoic habits. You surrender because you can't take the pain or constant torture of mind (psychological suffering) anymore, which is always due to resistance to the Now. The phrase from Bible "Not my will but thy will be done" points to this truth.
   • Only a surrendered person has spiritual power. Hence, there's a great strength in surrender, and it is perfectly compatible with action. It’s because in that state, your actions and words arise out of unconditioned consciousness, infinitely more powerful than conditioned mind ^[43] So surrendering to 'what is' is the most powerful practice to end suffering and realize who you are beyond your name and form. Also, if you look deeply, you will see that all spiritual practices ultimately lead to surrender to the Now because all of them directly or indirectly point to yielding or inner acceptance of 'what is'.
   • When you truly realize that resistance is mad, delusional and futile, a shift happens and peace emerges through you. This is the peace of God , that bypasses all understanding. ^[44] . However, for some, it may require deepening of presence to fully realize this truth as resistance to what-is is a deep seated habit and identification with mind has momentum from many years of compulsive and self-serving thinking.
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   Forgive yourself and others for being unconscious. When you don't, you are not only mistaking their and your identity with conditioned thoughts, labels, and judgments you have about them/yourself and/or vice versa, but are also holding on to the psychological burden of resentment and guilt, which not only pollutes your inner-body or inner-space with negativity but also keeps the Ego alive. ^[45]

   • If you could realize that we are all, to varying degrees, suffering from the same impersonal collective dysfunction, i.e. human unconsciousness or Ego, the greatest perpetrator of evil on this planet, it becomes easier to forgive. How can you resent someone's illness? Jesus's saying "Forgive them. They know not what they do," also applies to yourself. ^[46] In other words, when people are in the grip of Ego and/or pain-body, they don’t have a choice . Even though it may seem like it.
   • Forgiveness, which also means letting go of the Egoic story or narration or labels, becomes easier when you deeply realize that nothing you did/said or anyone did/said to you, can't touch, even the slightest, who you are in essence.
   • Be aware that forgiveness doesn't become a mental concept. True forgiveness is non-conceptual. When you truly forgive yourself and others, you reclaim your power from the mind. Mind is very unforgiving; only you can forgive. This doesn't mean to let yourself be attacked, abused, and continue to be with unconscious people just because you have forgiven them. Forgiveness is an inner phenomenon, as it helps dissolve the burden of psychological baggage, negativity and accumulation of time (and Karma ) you are carrying in your psyche. This is true freedom. ^[47]
   • When there is true forgiveness, which is a form of acceptance, heavy burden of past dissolves..
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   Move deeply into the Now. The mind craves to get away from the simplicity of the present moment, as it can't stand it. ^[48] More you practice acceptance or being in the present moment, the mind will do all it can to take your attention away from it. It’s because the present moment is its death. So here are a few structure-less practices to anchor you to the now that don't need you to dedicate time. As you can practice them while doing day-to-day tasks. Experiment to see awareness of which anchor/anchors come most naturally and easily to you in the Now. ^[49]

   • Can you simply watch and/or allow or accept the thoughts, emotions, reactions, sensations, tension etc. that arise from within to be?
   • Can you feel the aliveness or peaceful inner energy field of your body? The energy of your hands, legs, neck, feet, chest, head and so on. ^[50]
   • Can you become aware of your heartbeat, surroundings, objects around, sensation of touch from the place you are sitting, sounds from the environment, etc.?
   • Can you become aware of your breath?
   • Can you become aware of 'Awareness'?
   • Can you become aware of the automatic and habitual subtle patterns and movement in your head(especially behind the left side of forehead and face) and chest as if trying or fighting to dissolve the pain or suppress the thoughts or resist the Now? That's the egoic entity which is so delusionally convinced that fighting or pushing the thoughts will dissolve them. Smile and become friendly towards them.
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   Realize that 'You' are consciousness. Can you become aware of the space where thoughts, emotions, reactions, sensations, images, sounds, etc. come and go? Can you become aware of awareness without which there will be no perception? You are that space of 'no thought' or awareness ^[51] Here's another pointer: Who is aware of the sensations or tension in your body and head? Who knows or sees the unhappy emotions or unease in you?

   • Your mind may be reacting with things like 'This article is stupid,' 'What is this?', 'I'm a loser,', 'I can't stop thinking', 'The author is a moron,' etc. That's not you. It's your mind in its habitual resistive and survival mode, reacting to these pointers. Don't give it any reality. Just allow it to be. Your presence or awareness is more than capable of dissolving the phantom self ( Egoic entity ) pretending to be you.
   • If something deeper in you is responding to these words then the process of awakening has begun in you. That's why don't just read with your mind, but pay attention to any deeper feeling responses as you read. Once you learn of the basic dysfunction i.e. identification with the mind and workings of Ego then you don't need to learn a lot of spiritual truth to become free of it, recognize its mechanics and avoid its traps. Now is the key. Awareness is the key.
   • It's possible that in the future the mind and/or pain-body will take you over and push you into a state of suffering, despair, and unconsciousness. But remember, suffering can either push you deeper into more unconsciousness or it can become your greatest teacher to enlightenment by forcing you to accept what-is, depending on the degree of consciousness in you. Be aware. Stay present. Deeply realize that suffering has a noble purpose.
   • According to a Buddhist saying, "All suffering is an illusion." It is true. The question is: Is it true for you? ^[52] Are you truly fed up of pain and suffering though? ^[53] Are you ready to wake up?
   • Spiritual dimension has traditionally arisen into one's life not when something was added to them but when something was taken away in the form of deep loss, pain, impending death, sickness or accident, death of a loved one, loss of status or reputation or possessions or skills, meaninglessness, failure, etc. So loss can be a great opportunity for spiritual realization.
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   Listen. When you truly listen, a sacred space of knowing holds both the perceiver and perceived, that connects you with others on a much deeper level than the movement of thoughts and emotions. In that space there's no 'other.' So, listen with your whole being or inner body, which is an essential part of true listening and to be present. If conditioned thoughts, emotions, and urges to speak arise, allow them to be but don't act on them. True listening is a rare art, as most of the time when people are “listening”, they are analyzing the words, waiting to speak, preparing or planning for the next thing to say, lost in their own thoughts and mental movies, etc. ^[54]

   • Experiment. While interacting with people just listen without any judgement or interpretation. Don't validate or confirm their story by reacting or resisting, no matter how sad or great it is. That is to say, look through their ego rather than looking at it. When you look at the ego, it's your ego that's looking. But when you look through the ego, it's the awareness that you are looking at itself, because essence of all things and beings is formless consciousness . In other words, relinquish all mental positions or judgments and be there as a field of spacious presence . This may bring out the sanity in them and you may witness them to realize the insignificance and irrelevance of their stories, drama, complaints and problems. If words and action are required, they arise out of infinitely intelligent inner space. So have faith or trust . Which will naturally develop as you see the proof of power of sacred presence .
   • It's because when people complain, it's the Ego that complains through them. Ego wants reactions, conflict, validation, to feel superior/inferior, create drama and enemies to create further suffering, reactions and strengthen its illusory sense of self ^{[55] [56]} However, when you hold it in the loving embrace of your awareness, without any judgments or giving any reality to its stories, it loses energy because it’s not getting reactions to feed on.
   • "Can you be there as the space for the other person? I would say that's the greatest gift you can give to someone" (Eckhart Tolle).
   • Similarly, your mind complains to incite reactions, so it can feed on them. So listen and look through your mind, which also implies watching the mind. Recognize the interconnection? What you do to others, you do to yourself. So, when you look through other people's ego, you also naturally go deeper within yourself. That's why it is said that human interaction can be a great spiritual practice. Read Stay Rooted in Being for more depth.
   • "Art of listening is essential for a relationship to deepen." Eckhart Tolle.
2. 2
   Be extremely alert to detect the subtle mental patterns. Thoughts and reactions can be slippery and quick. They can arise and be gone in just milliseconds, especially pre-verbalized or unverbalized thoughts and reactions. However, they have a great power to manipulate or hypnotize you like a puppet. So a high degree of alertness is required to detect and make them conscious. ^[57] One practice is to write your recurring, negative, and persistent thoughts. As writing can help bring deep-seated thoughts in the light of your awareness or consciousness . Plus, it helps to give them full attention and full attention implies full acceptance. ^[58]

   • Of course, it can be daunting to write down thousands of thoughts and reactions. You can just spend a few moments on this every day. If you meditate, you can also make this a part of your meditation practice, as it can help clear your mind, which allows you to go deeper within. Alternatively, you can also verbalize your thoughts, reactions, and emotions. In other words, verbalize to inquire into what you are feeling and deep-seated mental patterns (including unspoken assumptions or reactions), arising in the Now , to bring them into the light of your consciousness. However, be aware that there is a sense of dis-identification from thoughts and emotions. Again, you are not your conditioned thoughts, reactions, patterns, and emotions. It helps a lot to be aware of inner body and/or breath and/or sense perceptions as you verbalize. Read How to Stay Rooted in Being for more depth.
   • You can also count your thoughts. Especially repetitive and compulsive thoughts and mental patterns. Counting can help you remain alert, like an alert cat watching a mouse hole.
3. 3
   Use memories to learn and become more aware. If you use your memories to learn and not for psychological suffering, they can help you become more aware of your Egoic patterns and mistakes without actually having to indulge in them again and again.

   • As an analogy, memories are like watching yourself the same way a player/athlete watches himself/herself in a video footage. You are in a more comfortable and less stimulated environment, so are more aware. That's why having a good memory can help you become aware of your mistakes and learn from them.
   • Be honest and alert that the mind doesn't falsify the memories. ^[59]
4. 4
   Allow. When you detect resistance or emotional pain within to 'what is' or whatever arises, say "I accept" or "I allow" or "I forgive" or "I surrender," or "I yield" or " This is not me. " or chant a mantra , depending on your state of consciousness, the situation, condition or whatever feels natural to you. It's even more effective, if you synchronize these phrases with your breathing.

   • If you can't accept, then say “I accept that I can't accept.”. Or take action immediately. ^[60] As far as inner transformation is concerned, in essence, there's nothing you can do about it but can only create a space for it to happen by practicing being present or negating the mind . In other words, when you invite the dimension of formless presence in you.
   • Realize that even if you say "I allow" or "I forgive" etc., they are just thoughts or pointers. It's what the thoughts point to, is what brings acceptance and transcendence. If you don't realize this, you will remain stuck in the walls of concepts and thoughts. These words are not saying "look at me" but "look beyond me". ^[61] Again, truth is beyond any words, thoughts and forms.
   • “My teachings are easy to understand and easy to put into practice. Yet your intellect will never grasp them, and if you try to practice them, you'll fail. My teachings are older than the world.
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How can you grasp their meaning?” Tao Te Ching.

1. 1
   • When you detect resistive or egoic patterns in you or others, then resistance, beating yourself over them or judging is just more ego and will keep it place. Instead, simply become aware and allow them to be, or shift attention away from reactions and mental patterns to present moment anchors or Now. Whichever practice feels easier and natural. When you simply allow and don't resist 'what is', egoic patterns naturally dissolve because you stop reenergizing them as it’s the unconscious identification with them is what keeps them alive. This gives way to peace and joy of Being from deep within; the intelligence itself.
2. 2
   Watch egoic reactions. Have you noticed when the mind experiences an undesirable stimulus (thoughts, smell, people, situation, etc.), it reacts or resists, or creates irritation and/or other forms of negativity? Why did the mind create it? Because it holds the unconscious belief that its resistance, which you experience as negativity or unhappiness or discontent in some form, will somehow dissolve the undesirable condition or situation. ^[62] This, of course, is a delusion. The resistance (irritation, anger, discontent and so on) that it creates is far more disturbing than the original cause that it is attempting to dissolve. It may seem like the situation or condition are causing the suffering but if you look deeply, it is actually the automatic mental-emotional resistance in response to them. We spoke about this earlier.

   • "The greatest difficulty is the mental resistance to things that arise, and the underlying assumption is that they should not" (Eckhart Tolle).
   • Resisting 'what is' is no different than doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. Which is also how Einstein defined insanity when he said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."
   • To deal with the automatic mental resistance, be there as the background witnessing presence or the Knower and/or allow or accept it to be. You can also immediately shift attention from thoughts, reactions and emotions to present moment anchors like inner body, breath, or sense perceptions. If that's not possible, accept that you cannot accept or take action or remove yourself from the situation. Whatever seems easier and natural at that moment.
3. 3
   Watch physical reactions or patterns. Have you noticed when an egoic reaction arises, then it is usually reflected on an emotional-physical level in form of pressure, movement, sensations, twitching, tension etc. in brain, heart, body, tongue, hands, legs, face muscles (which also include involuntary facial expressions) etc. If you are alert enough, you may notice sensations or movement in muscles or body parts as if trying to control or fight or suppress 'what is' (thoughts, emotions, condition, situation etc.) in form of fidgeting, muscle contraction, leg shaking, clenching hands, teeth grinding etc. These are the reflections of egoic reactions on a physical level. The stronger the reaction, more tense the brain, face or body muscles become and may even cause physical pain.

   • Just as you watch the thoughts and emotions in you, detect and watch the physical reactions and patterns. As becoming aware of physical and/or emotional reactions also makes you more aware of Egoic reactions, especially pre-verbalized and unconscious ones, that cause them. For example: Body may respond to an anxiety pattern or reaction, even before it becomes a thought, in form of leg/legs shaking, fidgeting, anxious emotions in your chest and/or head, you grinding or clenching your teeth, scratching objects, biting your lip or finger nails or inside of your mouth, tension in face, brain, muscles, biting nails, and so on. This is so embedded that you may not be aware that you are engaged in these physical patterns and reactions, and may likely detect them later after they pass. For example: You may notice your arms and legs being tired after fidgeting or shaking for a long time while you were taken over by anxiety in you, experience pain after biting your mouth/lips/fingers or digging your nails in your palm or fingers or pressing your knees, elbows or feet against a furniture, headache or soar body after muscles contraction or tension, stinging sensation after unconsciously rubbing toes and fingers or scratching body parts, and so on. This can also be seen as an evidence of how self-destructive Ego can be.
   • Even the slightest and subtle physical and/or mental and/or emotional reactions or patterns need to be detected and accepted or else they will continue to remain unconscious, inflict suffering and run your life. Therefore, a high degree of alertness is required. Here's a hint: see if you can detect physical reactions or patterns like tension in heart, tongue, cheeks, jaw and brain muscles in response to an undesirable thought, reaction, situation, condition or people, as if trying to control, deny, fight, control or suppress them. That is to say, resisting 'what-is'. To detect these reactions, it helps immensely to be aware of inner body. Also, it’s relatively easier to detect physical reactions than mental-emotional ones as they more little more tangible.
4. 4
   Free yourself from all concepts . Did you notice your mental interpretation after reading 'Watch your inner-self', 'Accept what is' and other pointers in the article? Your mind may have asked something like, 'How can I watch my inner self?' or 'What does 'watching inner self' even mean?' And mental answers to these questions may become your definition of 'watching your inner-self'. That is to say ego has found another concept or construct to identify with. ^[63] As mind has a compulsive need to conceptualize or label or understand ‘what-is’, because that's all it knows. In other words, concepts (thoughts) are familiar to the mind and mind adheres to the known. As it thinks unknown is dangerous. This is one of the reasons why egoic mind ignores and dislikes the present moment.

   • Concepts and pointers can be part of your spiritual journey, but deeply realize that they are no more than stepping stones or viewpoints to be left as quickly as possible, and never to be taken as absolute truth. ^[64] Again, thought, by its very nature is limited, can never dissolve the psychological pain and can at most show you the relative truth. In your spiritual journey, concepts may get replaced with more helpful spiritual sounding concepts or explanations or pointers. However, they are still bundles of words (thoughts).
   • True intelligence is holistic, formless and unconditioned. It's the stillness within you. This is also pointed in Tao Te Ching, "Can you step back from your own mind and thus understand all things?".
5. 5
   Meditate. It may seem like a cliché, but meditation essentially means to be present. In essence, there's no trying or doing involved, but keeping your full or part of your attention in the Now. ^[65]

   • Since time is always Now, so you can be present, fully or to some degree while doing any task like interacting with someone, sitting, working, cooking, walking, even while thinking, etc. So, allotting dedicated time for meditation is not always necessary. Here are a few structureless meditation practices :
   • Be aware of your breath as much as you can. Feel the flow of in-breath and out-breath, notice the gaps between inhaling and exhaling cycles, movement of your belly, sound, and so on. Simply witnessing the breath naturally creates a gap between incessant stream of pointless, compulsive, and repetitive thinking and emotions. Or at least slows them down because attention is shifted or withdrawn from mind to the Now.
   • Witness or watch your thoughts, reactions, and emotions as they arise. We talked about this already.
   • Become aware of your inner body. Can you feel that your body is alive and full of life ? Vibrant energy field in your feet, legs, thighs, pelvis, abdomen, back, chest, hands, shoulders, neck, head, face, lips, nose and so on. That's the intelligent life , inseparable from One Life, that animates and runs thousands of incredibly complex functions of your body synchronously. Only through feeling the inner energy field of the body can you connect with it. Also, being rooted within inner body is an essential aspect to be present.
   • Become aware of your sense perceptions. Can you just look, taste, listen, touch, and see without any mental commentary?
   • Give full attention to whatever you are doing Now. Like when you are walking, give full attention to each step, movement of your body parts, feel the sensation of feet touching the ground etc. That anchors you to the Now.
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