How to Enjoy Being a Single Mom

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Being a single mom might have its struggles, but it also has some amazing upsides. With a little shift in perspective, you can turn your days around and enjoy raising your kids on your own. Read through this article for a complete list of tips to enjoy being a single mom and celebrate each day.

1

Get to know yourself more.

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  1. Use that time to understand who you are, what you want, and what your goals are. [1] Ask yourself things like, “What do I like to do?” “What’s my favorite way to relax?” “Where do I see myself in 5 years?” and, “What do I value most in my future partner?”
    • Have compassion for yourself, too. Take into account all the struggles you’ve gone through, and pat yourself on the back for making it this far.
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2

Practice self-care.

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  1. It doesn’t have to be anything big—you might drink a cup of coffee or read a few pages of your favorite book. It might not sound like much, but these small acts of kindness toward yourself can really add up and make you feel better over time. [2]
    • You could also try meditating, doing yoga, taking a nature walk, or playing with a pet.
3

Make time to do what you love.

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  1. Do your best to make time for the things you love—hire a babysitter a couple times a month, or take your kids with you on a fun adventure. That way, you won’t lose yourself to motherhood, and you can still do the fun stuff that you like to do. [3]
    • Not sure what you like to do? That’s okay! Try a few things out to see what sticks. You could try hiking, embroidering, collaging, ceramics, playing board games, or fishing.
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4

Get out of the house often.

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  1. When you’re a single mom, it can feel like you’re stuck in the house a lot. Give yourself some “me time” by hiring a babysitter or asking a friend to watch your kids. Take yourself out on a date to enjoy your freedom and feel good about your alone time. [4]
    • No babysitter? No problem! Take your kids with you on a fun outing to the park or your local coffee shop. Even though you won’t be by yourself, getting out of the house is always a good idea.
    EXPERT TIP

    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    Making time for fun activities allows you to recharge. Prioritizing self-care with out-of-the-house activities allows you to replenish the energy and positivity you need to create a nurturing space for your family.


5

Hang out with your friends.

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  1. Keep room in your schedule to have a friend over or meet up with someone for drinks. That way, you can maintain those relationships and be social with people your own age. [5]
    • Don’t be afraid to reach out to old friends! They’ll probably be happy to hear from you, even if you’ve been too busy to hang out for a while.
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6

Have fun with your kids.

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  1. As you watch your children grow up, you’ll see them flourish and develop their own personalities. Try to spend time with them doing fun things and just hanging out to really strengthen your connection. [6]
    • Come up with a few activities that you do together, just the two of you. You might read your favorite books, walk to the park, go out to eat, or cook together at home.
7

Show love to your children to strengthen your bond.

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  1. When you’re a single parent, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut with your kids. Take time out of your day to tell them “I love you” or give them a quick hug, just as a reminder (to them and to yourself). [7]
    • If you feel yourself getting stressed or upset at your kids, a hug can quickly defuse the situation.
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8

Surround yourself with your loved ones.

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  1. Your loved ones can really help you enjoy your single mom life, and they can provide you with help when you need it. Connect with the people who will love you no matter what, and who will help make your journey as a single mom a little bit easier. [8]
    • Don’t be afraid to ask for support, either. Reach out to your loved ones if you’re struggling and ask for help with childcare or money if you need to. [9]
9

Make parenting decisions on your own.

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  1. If your ex-partner is still in the picture, you may want to check in every now and then about co-parenting issues. However, when you’re with your kids, you’re in charge—whatever you say goes. [10]
    • If you’re sharing custody with your child’s other parent, try not to worry too much about what they’re doing. Focus on the things you can control while you’re with your child.
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10

Remember your strengths.

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  1. You’re not going to be a perfect mom 100% of the time, and that’s okay. If you wake up late one morning or accidentally skip your kid’s soccer practice, it’s not the end of the world. Think about all the awesome stuff you do on the daily to pick yourself back up and keep going. [11]
    • For instance, maybe you're great during play time and always come up with new ideas to entertain your kids with.
    • Or, maybe you’re really great at meal planning, and you always make sure your kids have delicious, healthy meals to eat.
11

Have fun dating again.

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  1. If you’re ready for it, consider putting yourself out there to find potential dates. You can embrace the single life by saying yes to invitations and opening yourself up to new opportunities. [12]
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      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about single parenting, check out our in-depth interview with Cristina Morara .

      References

      1. ↑ Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 19 January 2021.
      2. ↑ https://childmind.org/article/single-parenting-during-the-coronavirus-crisis/
      3. ↑ https://hbr.org/2020/05/working-parents-save-time-for-hobbies
      4. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-get-some-much-needed-alone-time-while-raising-a-family/
      5. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/support-and-services/relationships-after-having-a-baby/
      6. ↑ https://hrs.wsu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Bond-with-your-kids.pdf
      7. ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/english/family-life/family-dynamics/pages/14-ways-to-show-your-child-love.aspx
      8. ↑ Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 14 October 2020.
      9. ↑ https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-diversity/single-parents/single-parents-early-days
      1. ↑ https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-diversity/single-parents/single-parents-early-days
      2. ↑ https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-diversity/single-parents/single-parents-early-days
      3. ↑ Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 14 October 2020.
      4. ↑ Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.

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