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Discover the signs & benefits of being a “family-oriented” person
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Being a family-oriented person means structuring your life around your family, placing their needs before your own, and finding ways to spend quality time together. Just like other relationships, it takes lots of time and energy to maintain, but there are several benefits of choosing to put your family first. In this article, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about being family-oriented, including common signs and how to make your family a bigger priority.

Things You Should Know

  • A family-oriented person prioritizes their family’s needs before their own, especially when it comes to making important decisions.
  • Family-oriented people enjoy spending time with their loved ones, possess excellent communication skills, and tend to be very affectionate.
  • To be more family-oriented, schedule quality time with your family and actively listen to them in conversation.
Section 1 of 4:

What does it mean to be family-oriented?

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  1. A family-oriented person is committed to putting their family first because they draw strength from seeing their loved ones thrive. Family-oriented people always make time for their family, no matter how stressed or busy they may be, and they tend to follow family values like being generous, honest, responsible, respectful, and kind. [1]
    • Being family-oriented means more than just loving your family—it’s a conscious decision to structure your life around your loved ones, lean on them for support when making decisions, and focus on their health and happiness.
    • For example, a family-oriented person might gather their entire family together before making a major decision, such as attending a university or accepting a job in a new city.
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Section 2 of 4:

Signs You’re Family-Oriented

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  1. If you’re a family-oriented person, you understand the value of spending quality time with your family . You set aside time to hang out with your loved ones regularly and always make the most of your time together. You might even follow a routine where everyone gathers on certain days to share life updates, engage in fun activities, or just chat and reconnect with each other. [2]
    • You always visit your family during the holidays and take time off to attend important family events like weddings, graduations, baby showers, anniversaries, and summer vacations.
    • You have regular family meals together, where everyone has a role—someone cooks the food, someone else sets the table, washes the dishes, etc.
    • Your family does something fun together at least once a week, such as playing board games, going to the movies, hitting the beach, or grabbing dessert.
    • If you’re married, you schedule date night once a week to strengthen your relationship with your partner and keep the spark alive.
  2. Family-oriented people tend to be good listeners because they have plenty of experience working through problems with their family members. Strong families have open lines of communication, so if you’re family-oriented, you probably know how to share your thoughts with others, respond to people in a respectful manner, and actively listen to them in conversation. [3]
    • During conversation, you maintain eye contact with the person speaking, give them your undivided attention, and ask them open-ended follow up questions.
    • You use “I” statements to express your feelings, instead of blaming others. For instance, you might say, “I feel stressed when I see your dirty clothes on the floor,” rather than “you always leave dirty clothes on the floor, and it’s gross.”
    • If you’re fighting with someone, you reach out to them to come up with a solution, instead of trying to be “right.” If your family members (or friends) are fighting, you act as a mediator, encouraging them to have a healthy discussion and find a way to move forward.
  3. Another common sign that you’re a family-oriented person is if you truly appreciate your loved ones. You’re extremely thoughtful because you want your friends and family members to feel valued, so you can read their emotions and go out of your way to offer support. [4]
    • You bring back souvenirs or small gifts for your loved ones when you travel.
    • You offer to clean up the house or run errands whenever you visit your family.
    • You check in with loved ones if you suspect they’re going through a stressful time.
    • You set aside time to talk to your family every day, whether it’s calling them when you wake up in the morning or sending them a good night text right before you go to bed.
  4. If you’re a family-oriented person, you know exactly what it means to stand by someone through thick and thin. Family-oriented people are incredibly committed to their relationships because they know their loved ones are worth it. The love, care, and respect they have for their friends and family runs deep, and you can always count on them to offer a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. [5]
    • Other people put you down as their emergency contact.
    • You help loved ones out financially when they're experiencing tough times.
    • You defend your friends and family members if someone talks poorly about them.
    • You support your loved ones’ goals, dreams, and ambitions, even if no one else believes in them.
  5. Whether it’s hugs, cuddles, compliments, or kisses, family-oriented people love showing (and receiving) affection. They shower their friends and family with warmth, care, and positive attention, and they’re known to give the most thoughtful compliments and words of encouragement. [6]
    • You tell your friends and family members that you love them often, if not every day.
    • You praise loved ones when they accomplish something or challenge themselves.
    • You greet (or say goodbye) to people with a warm hug or peck on the cheek.
    • You express gratitude when others do kind things, such as unpacking the dishwasher, helping someone out with homework, or cleaning up their room without being asked.
  6. A family-oriented person is familiar with devoting themself to their family members, so major moments like entering a new relationship, getting married, and starting a family aren't really scary to them. They’re not afraid to express love and commitment to their partners, and they might even be the one to initiate a relationship or take it to the next level. [7]
    • You feel comfortable telling your boyfriend/girlfriend about your plans for the future.
    • You’re not afraid to be vulnerable and share personal information with them.
    • You’re not afraid to commit to things in non-romantic areas of your life, such as starting a new career or signing a lease.
  7. Since family-oriented people are thoughtful and caring, they tend to understand children’s emotions better than the average person. A family-oriented individual encourages kids to express their thoughts and emotions, creating a safe and loving space. Plus, they have experience handling stressful situations in their family life, which means they know what to do when children act out or start crying [8]
    • You’re obsessed with babies and want kids in the future.
    • You babysit your younger family members frequently.
    • You grew up watching your younger siblings while your parents were working.
  8. A family-oriented person knows that you have to prioritize your health in order to provide your family with the best version of yourself. If you’re burnt out or stressed, you can’t fully support your family members, so setting time aside to practice self care is a clear sign that you care about your loved ones. [9]
    • You write down your emotions when you’re feeling stressed or upset.
    • You exercise 4-5 times a week to boost your physical and mental health.
    • At the end of a long day, you unwind with a glass of wine, take a relaxing bubble bath, or listen to your favorite album.
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Section 3 of 4:

How to Be More Family-Oriented

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  1. To become more family-oriented, create a family calendar with important events and activities to keep everyone updated on what’s going on in each other’s lives. Actively look for opportunities to hang out as a family unit, or reach out to loved ones individually for some one-on-one time. Being family-oriented is all about spending quality time with your loved ones and getting to know each person on a deeper level. [10] You might:
    • Create a tech-free zone at the dinner table so you can fully engage in conversation.
    • Plan a weekly family outing and alternate who picks the activity from week to week.
    • Develop new family traditions together like going out for Sunday brunch, shopping on the 1st of each month, or planning an annual vacation.
    EXPERT TIP

    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    Don't forget to make time for yourself, though! Supporting your well-being through healthy activities like exercise, hobbies, or relaxation allows you to feel more energized and fulfilled. Creating a positive environment for your family becomes effortless when your own self-care needs are met!

  2. To express appreciation and care for your loved ones, look for opportunities to express physical or verbal affection. Just smiling at someone during conversation can make them feel loved, supported, and even more connected to you! [11]
    • Smile and look into your child’s eye when you speak to them.
    • Praise your family members when they achieve something or step out of their comfort zone.
    • Give your partner a random hug or kiss to express your love and commitment to them.
  3. Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy family dynamic, and learning how to fully engage in conversation can help you become more family-oriented. When your loved one is speaking to you, be sure to put away your phone, and restate their points in your own words to show that you were actively listening . Validate the other person’s experience to make them feel seen and heard, and avoid offering advice (unless they explicitly ask for it). [12]
    • Give short verbal affirmations to let the other person know that you’re listening to them. For instance, you might say, “totally” or “mmhmm.”
    • Focus on the moment and what the other person is saying to you, instead of trying to come up with a response, and let them finish speaking without interruption.
    • If you think they might start crying, squeeze their hand or shoulder to comfort them.
  4. Spending time with your extended family can help you develop a stronger sense of belonging and attachment to your loved ones. [13] If you’re not in close contact with certain family members, reach out to them via phone or email to see if they would be down to FaceTime or Skype.
    • Encourage your kids to see their grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins as much as possible, and organize large family gatherings so everyone has a chance to bond.
    • Invite extended family members to your child’s school or sporting events.
    • Ask your parents to tell you stories about their parents or other extended family members.
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Section 4 of 4:

Benefits of Being Family-Oriented

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  1. When you’re a family-oriented person, you know how to show empathy and take care of yourself , allowing you to form healthy and stable relationships. You’re comfortable with expressing your emotions, and you encourage others to do the same, which helps you develop meaningful connections in your personal and professional life. [14]
  2. A family-oriented person tends to have high self-esteem because they feel loved and secure in their relationships. Since their family provides them with a supportive safety net, they have the confidence to try new things and step out of their comfort zone . They know that their family will always be there to support them, so they’re able to truly explore who they are and reach their highest potential. [15]
  3. If you’re a family-oriented person, you aren’t afraid to let people know how you feel, and you can communicate your needs and desires effectively. Good communication and listening skills are important in any type of relationship, so being able to openly communicate with others (and be vulnerable) is the ultimate superpower! [16]
  4. Being a family-oriented person means you have experience handling stressful situations and working through arguments with other people. This is especially useful in the workplace because you have the necessary skills to get to the root of an issue, communicate in a calm and respectful manner, and deal with conflict effectively. [17]
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