How do you actually make real friends?
Hi everybody, I've always struggled to make real and lasting friendships, I don't know where/how to meet people in real life and when I do I find that we hang out a couple of times and then the friendship fizzles out and I never really know why. I think I must be doing something wrong. Does anybody have advice for meeting people and making friendships last?
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Expert Comments
Here are some strategies to help you connect with others and build meaningful friendships:
1. Join Clubs or Activities: Joining a group that aligns with your interests is a great way to meet like-minded individuals.
2. Volunteer: Volunteering is not only a selfless way to give back to the community but also an excellent way to meet people. You'll likely encounter individuals who share your values and interests.
3. Utilize Social Media and Apps: Join Facebook groups for your town or school, and use apps like Bumble BFF or dating apps designed for meeting new people in your area.
4. Approach Others: Sometimes, all it takes is a friendly introduction. Don't hesitate to approach someone who looks approachable and strike up a conversation. Asking questions about their interests or offering a genuine compliment can be a great icebreaker.
5. Be Open-Minded: It's important to be open to making friends with people from different backgrounds or with diverse interests. Don't limit yourself to a specific group; sometimes, unexpected friendships can be the most rewarding.
6. Be Yourself: Authenticity is key to forming lasting friendships. Be true to yourself, and let your genuine personality shine. People are more likely to connect with you when you're authentic.
7. Practice Good Listening: Being a good listener is a valuable skill when trying to make friends. Show interest in what others have to say, ask follow-up questions, and be empathetic. Make sure you make eye contact, smile, and then allow time for you to add information about yourself.
8. Stay Positive: Building friendships can take time, and you might face some setbacks. Stay positive, keep trying, and don't be discouraged if not every attempt leads to a new friend.
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1. Join Clubs or Activities: Joining a group that aligns with your interests is a great way to meet like-minded individuals.
2. Volunteer: Volunteering is not only a selfless way to give back to the community but also an excellent way to meet people. You'll likely encounter individuals who share your values and interests.
3. Utilize Social Media and Apps: Join Facebook groups for your town or school, and use apps like Bumble BFF or dating apps designed for meeting new people in your area.
4. Approach Others: Sometimes, all it takes is a friendly introduction. Don't hesitate to approach someone who looks approachable and strike up a conversation. Asking questions about their interests or offering a genuine compliment can be a great icebreaker.
5. Be Open-Minded: It's important to be open to making friends with people from different backgrounds or with diverse interests. Don't limit yourself to a specific group; sometimes, unexpected friendships can be the most rewarding.
6. Be Yourself: Authenticity is key to forming lasting friendships. Be true to yourself, and let your genuine personality shine. People are more likely to connect with you when you're authentic.
7. Practice Good Listening: Being a good listener is a valuable skill when trying to make friends. Show interest in what others have to say, ask follow-up questions, and be empathetic. Make sure you make eye contact, smile, and then allow time for you to add information about yourself.
8. Stay Positive: Building friendships can take time, and you might face some setbacks. Stay positive, keep trying, and don't be discouraged if not every attempt leads to a new friend.
Building meaningful friendships is all about being real, showing up, and putting in the effort. Here’s how you can do it:
1. Be yourself: People connect with honesty, so don’t try to be someone you’re not.
2. Listen more: Pay attention when your friends talk. Really hear them instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.
3. Spend time together: Whether it’s grabbing coffee, working out, or just chatting, make time to connect regularly.
4. Be supportive: Celebrate their wins and show up when life gets hard for them.
5. Keep it balanced: Make sure it’s not one-sided give and take equally.
6. Do fun stuff together: Shared experiences, whether big or small, help create deeper bonds.
7. Respect boundaries: A healthy friendship respects each other’s space and needs.
8. Be honest: If something’s bothering you, talk about it. Good communication keeps things solid.
Friendships grow when you put in the energy and care to nurture them, so just keep it real and show up for the people who matter.
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1. Be yourself: People connect with honesty, so don’t try to be someone you’re not.
2. Listen more: Pay attention when your friends talk. Really hear them instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.
3. Spend time together: Whether it’s grabbing coffee, working out, or just chatting, make time to connect regularly.
4. Be supportive: Celebrate their wins and show up when life gets hard for them.
5. Keep it balanced: Make sure it’s not one-sided give and take equally.
6. Do fun stuff together: Shared experiences, whether big or small, help create deeper bonds.
7. Respect boundaries: A healthy friendship respects each other’s space and needs.
8. Be honest: If something’s bothering you, talk about it. Good communication keeps things solid.
Friendships grow when you put in the energy and care to nurture them, so just keep it real and show up for the people who matter.
Reader Comments
I think the key to making real and lasting friendships is authenticity + repeated, positive interactions + shared disclosure. If you just be yourself, hang out with someone regularly, and share things about yourselves with each other, then I think you're bound to develop a friendship. Being yourself is key because it'll attract people who get along well with you. The regular, positive interactions can happen in the context of a club/activity, volunteering, class, or hangouts that you set up. And then the sharing things about yourself is what helps to create a connection.
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When I wanted to make friends, I found it helpful to adopt an attitude of "Yes!" Should I join that board game meetup group? Yes! Should I strike up a conversation with someone in my yoga class? Yes! Should I hit up old friends from high school? Yes! By saying yes to more things, I opened up more opportunities to meet other people and start up new friendships. Good luck!
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I feel like why people have a hard time is because they experienced some bad events with some previous friends (i,e. Manipulation; Betrayal; Copying) so it's quite hard to bounce back but you learn from those people to be yourself. All ways give people the benefit of the doubt and watch them out the corner of your eye. Once you get to know them more you ease your guard down. That's when you have a true friend. All relationships go through hardship. And always be yourself. Make friends who like you for you, otherwise they are fake friends
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