105 Funny, Witty, & Random Things to Text Your Friends

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Make your friends laugh out loud with this massive list of random quips
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Looking for a funny and random message to spice up your text conversation? We’ve got you covered! Engaging in a silly exchange is one of the best ways to bond with your friends, and in this article, we’ve compiled the ultimate list of texts you can use to revive a dying conversation and get the laughs going. From witty and weird to thought-provoking and relatable, here’s everything you need to maintain an entertaining discussion with your besties.

1

Random

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  1. Looking for a hilarious way to prank someone over text ? Tell them about a mundane chore on your to-do list to leave them speechless. They’ll probably hit you back with a “Did you mean to text me?” because it’s so odd and uncalled for!
    • I gotta finish laundry.
    • I’m going to the bathroom.
    • I gotta clean my closet after lunch.
    • I’m going to make chicken for dinner.
    • I have to go to the meeting in an hour.
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2

Silly

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  1. Combine various words together to confuse your friend. Become the ultimate prank master by pairing silly nouns and adjectives together, and don’t offer any context if your friend asks you what you’re talking about. If you’re looking for inspiration, check out the iconic penny tees from the TV show iCarly, and have fun coming up with your own creative word combos.
    • Liquid ham.
    • Elbow rage.
    • Plaid bananas.
    • Cockroach patrol.
    • Pineapple marriage.
3

Weird

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  1. If you’re trying to spook someone, add a creepy twist to a well-known quote, or send a foreboding message that doesn’t make much sense. It’s guaranteed to give your friend the chills and leave them gobsmacked.
    • Do nothing. It is impossible.
    • You smell like pasta. Stand back!
    • I’m out of my mind. Be back in 5 minutes.
    • If history repeats itself, I’m getting a dinosaur pet.
    • Everything is coming to you, but you’re in the wrong lane.
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4

Thought-provoking

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  1. If you want to pick their brain, come up with a weird and wacky question that they’ve never been asked before. It’s an excellent way to learn more about your friend’s personality and take the conversation to the next level . Plus, asking an open-ended question is guaranteed to keep the conversation going!
    • Is it possible to cry underwater?
    • Is cereal soup? Why or why not?
    • Does a straw have one hole or two?
    • Why do our feet smell and noses run?
    • If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?
5

Relatable

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  1. Looking to make your friend laugh out loud? Bring up a relatable experience that aligns with their personality or interests. The more specific and detailed, the more hilarious it will be! [1]
    • Do you ever accidentally eat a whole pint of ice cream?
    • Do you ever bring a book everywhere you go but never read it?
    • Do you ever get the random urge to spend $30-50 for no reason?
    • Do you ever carry 30 bags of groceries at once instead of taking multiple trips?
    • Do you ever get a random flashback from middle school and stay up all night thinking about it?
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6

Witty

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  1. Trying to save a dying conversation over text ? Send your friend a silly message that pokes fun at their habits (or your own habits). Humor serves as the glue for friendships, and a witty one-liner is sure to brighten their day and give them something to smile at. [2]
    • If you can’t laugh at yourself, I can help you out.
    • I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me.
    • If nothing is impossible, I’ve been doing the impossible for years.
    • Don’t beat yourself up. A new beginning is only a new chance for failure.
    • My parents told me to follow my dreams, so I turned to the side and kept sleeping.
7

Supportive

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  1. Send a sweet and silly pun to make your friend smile. If it seems like your friend is going through a tough time, text them a lighthearted message to let them know how special they are. It’s the perfect way to show love , without getting too deep and serious.
    • You’re berry important to me🍓
    • I know this might sound cheesy, but you’re legen-dairy🧀🥛🐄
    • I carrot imagine life without you🥕 Lettuce be friends forever🥬
    • I’m rooting for you🥕🧅👩‍🌾🥔🫶
    • Thanks for always being there for me. I love you to my core🍎😋
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8

Fun Facts

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  1. This is a foolproof strategy to shock your friends…and leave them super confused. Prepare to receive an “Okay…” or “Interesting…” in response since your text is so unexpected.
    • Did you know? Lemons float, but limes sink.
    • Did you know? Armadillo shells are bulletproof.
    • Did you know? Cats have fewer toes on their back paws.
    • Did you know? The longest English word is 189,819 letters long.
    • Did you know? Blue whales eat half a million calories in one mouthful.
9

Unpopular Opinions

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  1. Struggling to start a good conversation ? Bring up the most controversial opinion you have to break the ice ! It’s not only an easy way to get your friend talking, but it’s also the perfect topic to spark a lively discussion.
    • Chapstick is a scam.
    • Android is better than Apple.
    • Ketchup is the worst condiment.
    • Pizza is an open-faced sandwich.
    • Nickelback is the best band of all time.
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10

Dad Jokes

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  1. When you can’t think of something to say, stick with a tried and true dad joke. It’ll definitely elicit a few laughing or annoyed face emojis, depending on your friend’s sense of humor.
    • Where would bears be without bees? Ears.
    • What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
    • What is Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
    • What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue berry.
    • Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
11

Prank Messages

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  1. Trying to trick your friends? While you can always send them a good ol’ RickRoll , these options are a lot more silly and creative:
    • Hey, I’m outside the hospital. Which entrance should I pick you up at?
    • Dr. Kim? My dog won’t eat or drink anything. Can I schedule an appointment with you?
    • Congratulations, you just won the Powerball! You need to provide me with your name, number, address, and social security number to claim your prize.
    • Thanks for signing up for the Spongebob Squarepants fan club! We’ll send you updates on what’s happening in the Bikini Bottom every hour. To opt out of these messages, reply STOP.
    • My name is Dan Johnson, and I wanted to let you know that I came to your restaurant last night and got food poisoning. I threw up all over my couch, and I would like you to pay for a new one.
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12

Weekend

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  1. Do you and your friend share the same hatred for Monday, Tuesday, and any other day you have to show up for school? Send them a funny message that speaks to their soul! The following texts are the perfect balance of silly and relatable:
    • I need a 6-month vacation, twice a year.
    • The first 5 days of the week are the hardest.
    • After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
    • We need to invent a day between Saturday and Sunday.
    • My new favorite day is Tuesday because it’s the furthest from next Monday.
13

School

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  1. If your friend frequently complains about school, shoot them a relatable message to uplift their mood. It’s an easy way to make them laugh and give you two something to talk about during class.
    • I don't have enough brain cells to go to school tomorrow.
    • If I got a penny every time someone asked me my major, I’d be rich.
    • Group assignments helped me understand why Batman works alone.
    • Every time I see the word “explain” on an exam, I die a little bit inside.
    • If TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram were school subjects, I would have a 4.0.
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14

Food

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  1. Whether your friend mentions they’re hungry all the time or you joke about going on a diet, send a food-related text to tickle their funny bone. Highlighting your shared interests is the best way to bond with them and lighten up a dull conversation. [3]
    • I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
    • Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
    • If it’s true that you are what you eat, I’m a chocolate cake.
    • You know what they say…a hamburger a day keeps the doctor away.
    • I decided to start my journey of self-improvement but ended up at the fridge🤦
15

Money

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  1. Is your friend’s go-to joke all about being broke? Drop a similar one line to show you get their sense of humor and connect with them on a deeper level. #Brokebesties! [4]
    • I’m enrolling in sugar baby 101.
    • Do you want to know the secret to getting rich? Me too.
    • If money doesn’t buy happiness, I want to be sad and rich.
    • I know they say that money talks, but mine just says “goodbye.”
    • My friendship isn’t for sale, but we can discuss a short-term rental.
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16

Love Life

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  1. If you’re not in a relationship and your friend isn’t either, text them a funny one-liner about the lack of romance in your life. It’s an excellent way to bond over a shared experience, and find humor in your situation! [5]
    • Love is really blind because it can’t see me at all.
    • The secret to a good relationship is not having one.
    • Not me curving any guy that I make eye contact with.
    • Do I have a date this Valentine’s Day? Yes, his name is February 14th.
    • My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance, and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes.
17

Song Lyrics

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  1. Do you have similar taste in music as your friend? If so, send them the opening lyrics of a song to start a hilarious conversation. Once they respond with the next line of the song, continue exchanging lyrics until they jokingly text you to stop.
    • Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
    • If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go…
    • This one is for the boys with the booming system…
    • Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me…
    • Everybody makes mistakes… Everybody has those days….
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18

In a Group Chat

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  1. If you want to throw off a bunch of people in a group chat, send them a text that requires more context…then don’t provide any. Your phone will definitely blow up with everyone’s responses, and you can just sit back, relax, and watch the chaos unfold!
    • The end.
    • Don’t talk to me ever again.
    • I bid you all a fond farewell.
    • Is this why fate brought us all together?
    • You guys have no idea what you’ve done!
19

When They Don’t Text Back

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  1. While it can be a little annoying when someone forgets to reply to your text, it does provide an amazing opportunity to crack a joke about the situation. Send your friend a playful message a few hours later to lighten the mood and let them know you’re still waiting to hear back from them. Just remember to avoid double (or triple) texting so you don’t come off as clingy! [6]
    • I really hope you’re writing me an essay🙄
    • Hey, I lost my phone. Can you call it for me?
    • My last text must have really left you speechless🤩
    • I guess you took a trip to Mars last week. How were things?
    • OMG, can you slow down? Your replies are so fast, I can’t keep up.
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20

For Their Birthday

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  1. If it’s your friend’s birthday, give them the ultimate gift of laughter! Instead of a bland “happy birthday” text, send any of the following messages to make them chuckle with glee:
    • Congrats, you’re not dead yet!
    • I hope you have a gouda birthday.
    • Happy birthday! Only 55 more years till retirement!!
    • Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions!
    • Older? For sure. Wiser? Not that much. Happy birthday bro!
21

To Your Crush

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  1. Want to catch your crush’s attention? Break the ice with a bold line to show your strength and confidence. Being upfront about your feelings is the best way to express interest and make your crush feel flattered. [7]
    • Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.
    • If you were a song, you’d be the best track on the album.
    • I’d say bless you, but it looks like you already have been.
    • Hey, you’re pretty, and I’m cute. Together, we’d be pretty cute.
    • Are you an electrician? Because you’re definitely lighting up my night.
    • When I send your picture to my group chat, which one do you want me to use?
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-three-minute-therapist/202102/8-ways-make-and-maintain-friendship
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-three-minute-therapist/202102/8-ways-make-and-maintain-friendship
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-shared-existence/202304/6-conversation-habits-for-more-meaningful-connections
      4. ↑ https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-carry-a-conversation
      5. ↑ https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-carry-a-conversation
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/counseling-keys/201603/the-7-rules-for-texting-in-relationships
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-to-talk-to-girls-and-guys

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