How Long to Wait to Reply to a Girl’s Text

Learn when you should (and shouldn’t) respond right away

Written by John Keegan | Edited by Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: May 19, 2025 Fact Checked

Your phone dings, and it’s a text from the girl you like—should you respond right away or wait to reply? On one hand, you don’t want to come across as too eager. But you definitely want to keep the conversation going. Timing your response the right way can show her you’re interested while making sure you appear as cool and confident as possible. We know it’s easy to get nervous when you’re texting your crush, so let’s take the guesswork out of how fast you should respond to the girl you like. We’ve asked professional dating experts for their pro tips on texting response time—here’s what they have to say.

How Long to Wait Before Texting Her Back

When texting your crush, replying within 5 minutes is ideal. You can wait a little longer if you want to play it cool, but she might think you don't like her if you take longer than 3 hours to reply. A good rule of thumb is to match her energy. If she's texting you back quickly, respond to her with the same enthusiasm.

1

Reply within 5 minutes when you’re texting your crush.

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You might come across as too eager if you reply right away. A 5-minute response time is ideal, since it gives you time to think of an awesome reply that’ll show off your personality and get her attention . ^{[1]
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Research source} But since you’re not keeping her waiting too long, responding after a few minutes still lets you keep the conversation flowing.
- Make her smile by bringing up something she’s said before. Try something like, “Oh, I checked out that band you mentioned. Their new EP is... surprising! Have you listened to it yet?”
- When you do reply, dating coach John Keegan suggests asking follow-up questions or sending a text that shows you care about what she said. ^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- For instance, if she mentions she’s chilling at home and watching a show you know, say something like, “Hey, that’s actually my ideal evening. But I’m so concerned about Tate’s character. Seriously, what is he thinking?”

2

Respond to a girl after 10-15 minutes to play it cool.

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Wait 10-15 minutes to show her you’ve got an exciting life of your own. If you respond immediately, she might think you’re waiting by your phone for her to text. When you see that next notification light up your screen, take a deep breath and step away from the phone. Put your phone on silent or “do not disturb” mode. Then, go for a walk, grab a snack, or put on your favorite playlist. ^{[3]
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- Once you feel really calm, go ahead and send her a reply. That confident energy will come through. You’ve got this!
- Dating coach Mark Rosenfeld suggests that you practice curiosity when getting to know your crush via text. “Too often we get into conversations simply looking for our own chance to speak. But try to ask questions about their upbringing, their likes and dislikes, their wants and needs.” ^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}
- He also recommends that you learn their love language early on to communicate better. ^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}
- Additionally, Rosenfeld encourages you to lead with “good energy” and make relatable statements. For example, if she talks about going on a skiing trip, instead of saying, “How’d it go?” say something like, “I love skiing. I went skiing for three months in Colorado and then hurt myself, so now I’m sticking to ping pong instead. LOL” ^{[6]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}

3

Answer within 1-3 hours to be polite.

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Waiting over 3 hours to reply is the texting version of awkward silence. You know that feeling when you say something and the other person takes just a bit too long to respond? We all know that’s not fun. Conversations have a natural momentum and natural rhythm when two people like each other. When you respond within a couple of hours, you prevent the conversation from totally going stale. If you leave a girl hanging for more than a few hours, it sends a signal that you’re not interested.
- If you wait more than 3 hours to respond, she might feel hurt and not text back.
- Dating coach Iman Jbara encourages an abundance mindset when it comes to dating. He says, “If [they] get back to you, amazing! And if [they] don't, amazing!” ^{[7]
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  Expert Source
  
  Imad Jbara
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 22 September 2021.}
- If you aren’t interested, be kind and let her know. Send a message like, “I think you’re super cool, but I’m not looking for anything right now.” ^{[8]
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4

Answer as soon as you’re able to if you’re really interested.

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Be upfront and bold if you want to schedule a date. Text her back immediately to send her the message that you’re super into her. When you’re sensing positive vibes in the conversation, don’t feel like you have to follow rules or play games. Respond in a way that feels natural and reflects how you feel about her. ^{[9]
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- Keegan shares that playfulness, lots of compliments, and longer messages are good signs that she’s flirting with you. ^{[10]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.} If you’re seeing these signs, take the plunge and respond right away!
- If you’re feeling like you want to move the conversation from texting to IRL, ask her out! Keep it simple, and say something like, “Do you want to hang out sometime? Would dinner this weekend work?”
- Respond right away if she sends you an invite or a question about a date you have planned.

5

Follow up 24 hours after a first date.

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In modern dating, the 24-hour rule has replaced the 3-day rule. Instead of waiting the traditional 3 days to text a girl after a date, send a simple “thank you” text the next day. You can still wait 1-2 days to ask her on a second date, but you want to quickly acknowledge that you enjoyed her company. ^{[11]
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- Want to really impress her? Show her you’re looking out for her by sending a text right after the date that says, “Thanks for such a fun night. Did you get home safely?”
- Mention a highlight or fun shared memory from the date . You could say something like, “I had such a great time Friday! Still laughing about the wild conversation we overheard!”
- You could also try a classic message like, “Thanks for an awesome night. We should do this again sometime.”
- Reader Poll: We asked 733 wikiHow readers, and 52% of them agreed that they decide how long to wait between the first and second dates based on the level of connection and chemistry they feel on the first date . [Take Poll]

6

Reply within 1 hour if you’ve been dating for a while.

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Communication is essential in the early stages of a relationship. When a girl you’re dating texts you, respond quickly so that she doesn’t feel hurt or ignored. It’s normal to get busy during the day, but, as a general rule, try to respond within 1 hour to check-in type texts like “How’s your day going?” ^{[12]
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Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences
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- If texting gets to be too much, let her know. Say something like, “I love talking to you, but I’m less of a texter. Could I give you a call after work instead?”
- Respond immediately to time-sensitive texts from a girl you’re dating. If she needs to know what time you’ll be meeting up later, or which restaurant you’re going to, you don’t want to leave her waiting.

7

Mirror her response time for a tried-and-true strategy.

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Dating and flirting are all about matching effort and energy levels. If she’s sending you lightning-fast responses, that’s a great sign she’s into you. Try sending quicker replies to show her you’re on the same page. But if she tends to wait 20-30 minutes to respond, don’t stress about getting back to her right away. Jbara shares, “A girl can tell if you're needy or not, just by the way you text them, just by how fast you text them, and by the amount of energy you put in, if they even haven't put in as much energy as you.” ^{[13]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 22 September 2021.}
- If you get nervous while texting her, try to imagine you’re just texting a friend.

8

Let her know if you’ll be too busy to respond for a while.

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Send a quick heads up if you want to keep talking but have to go. We all get busy, and it's normal if you can't respond immediately! Give her a solid reason and be honest about why you can’t reply right away, so you don’t seem like you’re avoiding her. Then, let her know that you want to continue the conversation later. ^{[14]
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- “Ugh! I want to keep talking to you, but I’m getting up really early for practice tomorrow. Talk tomorrow? :)”
- “I can’t wait to continue this convo. I’m going out with friends, but we’ll catch up later?”
- “Just got to work, so I’m going to have to put my phone away. I’ll text you after my shift!”

9

Wait until she texts again if she sent an “I’m busy” text.

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Give her time before you follow up if she says she’ll text you later. Giving her space can make you seem even more attractive, since it shows her that you’re confident and you’ve got your own busy schedule. Plus, when you hold off on sending messages when she tells you she’s busy , it lets her know you respect her time and boundaries. Keegan warns against coming across as “needy” or overbearing. “Avoid asking anything like, ‘Where were you last night? I texted you! Why didn’t you respond?’” ^{[15]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- If you’ve just started seeing each other, give her 1-2 days to follow up with you. ^{[16]
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- If you know each other well, try texting her the next day with a message like, “Hey! How was your dinner last night?”

10

Reply with one message at a time.

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It’s so tempting to send follow-up texts when you’re trying to keep a conversation going, but give her time to ask you questions and flirt back. However, you can break the no-double-text rule if she’s a double texter. Then, it’s okay to send multiple messages if you two are in the middle of a fun back-and-forth. ^{[17]
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11

Move on if she often takes a long time to reply or ghosts you.

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Ghosting shows a lack of interest, and it’s just plain rude. Even though it’s tough to find out that someone else might not be interested in you, keep in mind that ghosting says more about the other person than it does about you. Keegan says, “If someone has ghosted you or isn't responding to your text, the best thing you can do is completely stop texting them—there's no reason to reach out to them.” ^{[18]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.}
- Keegan offers one exception to this rule: “Obviously, [if] you had a major fight and you know the person and you feel like an apology will get them talking, that's a different story.” ^{[19]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.}
- He continues, “But generally, you have to drop it and let it go. And go out and talk to new people.” ^{[20]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.}

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Final Takeaways

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Respond to a girl’s text at your leisure—there are no real rules! If you’ve recently started dating a girl you really like, a good rule of thumb would be to match her energy. If she’s enthusiastically texting you back within a few minutes, feel free to reciprocate. If she waits a bit longer to text you back, give her the same consideration. However, it’s important to note that waiting a while to text back when you have time to text back sooner can be considered “ playing mind games ” and could ultimately hurt the blossoming relationship more than it could help it.
- Be polite, let her know if you’re busy and can’t chat, and respect her when she does the same. The right girl will make texting her feel like a breeze. You got this!

Join the Discussion...

Is expecting a text once an hour bad?

WikiNarwhalWatcher458

My SO and I have been dating for a few months and we text a lot since we're apart a lot when we're at work or school or even home because we don't live together. Recently, they're always taking a bit longer to reply. I'd really love to hear from them at leat once every hour, but idk if that would be a bad thing to ask. I don't really think that it's that unreasonable, but I'd love to hear what other people have to say about it.

Improve Your Texting Game with this Expert Series

Are you not sure what to text girls, or do you find yourself getting ghosted? We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you text easily and confidently.

1

Text a Girl You Just Met

2

Flirt Through Text Messages

3

How to Know When and How Often to Text After a First Date

4

What Does It Mean When a Girl Says She's Sorry for the Late Reply? (and How to Respond)

5

How to Respond when a Girl Says She Likes You over Text

6

Persuade a Girl over Text