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Smart, charismatic, kind guys definitely exist—but how do you meet one? The great news is that meeting intelligent men doesn’t have to be rocket science (even if you’re looking to meet a real rocket scientist). We’ll let you in on the best places to meet smart guys from dating apps to IRL events. Then, we’ll walk you through exactly how smart people can attract smart guys. Scroll on for all the flirting tips and conversation starters you need to spark a brilliant connection.
Steps
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Use dating apps that emphasize profiles and not just photos. When you and potential matches have more detailed bios, you’ll be able to find and attract smart guys. [1] X Research source As you create your own profile, mention your educational background and intellectual interests. Proofread carefully to make sure you’re using proper grammar and spelling. Check out these dating apps to meet smart guys:
- Hinge allows you to answer prompts and questions about yourself and your interests. The emphasis on written answers can help you find the guys who click with your passions and worldview.
- The League is an ‘elite’ dating app that populates your profile from the professional networking site LinkedIn. The app typically attracts ambitious people from elite universities or successful backgrounds. [2] X Research source
- OkCupid is known for its question-intensive matching system. You can answer up to 4,000 questions and their algorithm will match you with users who align with your preferences.
- Sapio promotes itself as an app for dating smart people. It’s still a photo-based swiping app, but you can answer questions from categories like “Inside My Head" and "Achievements." [3] X Research source
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Attend public lectures to meet academic guys. Check online to see if local universities, community centers, and conference centers are hosting interesting talks from industry experts. Look specifically for events that have a brief networking event or discussion afterwards. That way, you’ll get the chance to chat up any cute and smart guys—and you’ll already have something to talk about!
- If you’re currently in school, look for lectures from guest speakers in your major, and check out discussions hosted by clubs or student organizations.
- If you went to college, check out alumni events to meet other guys who went to your school.
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Take an in-person class to meet men who love learning. Why not expand your intellectual horizons and meet clever guys at the same time? Flip through community college catalogs and continuing education courses to see if anything sounds interesting. Or, if you’re into artistic, sophisticated guys, check to see if local art schools offer any creative classes. [4] X Expert Source Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.- When you meet a cool guy in class, ask him on a study date to go over the course material or see if he wants to partner on a group project.
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Go to events at museums to connect with suave, cultured guys. Scroll through local museum websites to see if they offer fun outings like an art walk night or wine tasting. You’ll get the chance to show off your cultural knowledge while meeting new potential dates at the same time. [5] X Research source Pick the type of museum based on the type of guy you’re looking for.
- If you’re looking for tech-y guys, check out science and innovation museums.
- To meet classy men, go for art, music, and fashion museums.
- For open-minded intellectual guys, scope out local history museums.
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Attend art gallery events and concerts. Who says nerds can’t be cool? Hit up the next showcase of a new artist in town or check out the crowd at your favorite indie band’s concert. [6] X Research source Men who have great taste in art and music are probably pretty smart, too!
- Mingle with the guys around you, and use a line like, “What did you think of the set tonight?” to start a conversation.
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Join a book club to get to know bookworms. Ask your local library about existing book clubs, send out a book club invite at work, or poke around on an online site like Meetup, Eventbrite, or even Reddit. [7] X Research source Book clubs are great because they give you the chance to interact with people in a smaller group. Plus, you’ve already got a conversation topic and a common interest in reading!
- Get a guy's number by saying something like, "I loved what you said about Fitzgerald's use of metaphors. I'd love to hear what you think about his other work sometime over coffee. Could I get your number?"
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Hit up a local trivia night to scope out potential dates. Search online to see if any local bars or clubs offer trivia night. Sign up by yourself or go with a group of friends to boost the fun. As you grab a drink and test your trivia knowledge, pay attention to the crowd to see if any guys stand out as total brainiacs.
- If you see a guy you like, strike up a conversation by saying something like, "I'm pretty impressed with your trivia knowledge. Do you have any tips?"
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Ask a friend to set you up with their handsome, brilliant acquaintance. Start by asking whether their acquaintance is single, then suggest that your friend pass along your contact info. Getting set up by a friend is a great way to go because you already have something in common. [8] X Research source Once you start chatting with the guy, here are a few smart-guy date ideas:
- Go to a gaming store or gadget store and check out the latest tech and video games.
- Go to an indie theater and watch a foreign film.
- Plan a puzzle night together or challenge each other to create the best LEGO design.
- Browse a bookstore.
- Stop by a local poetry reading or open mic night.
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Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: Which Dating App Should I Use?
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Ask him about his intellectual interests. Whether you’re meeting a smart guy at a university lecture on cryptocurrency or in your neighborhood bookstore, strike up a conversation by asking a question. Get the scoop on what he studied and the topics he finds most interesting. [9] X Expert Source Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker Expert Interview. 19 October 2021. Stick to open-ended questions, since you’re more likely to learn more about him. [10] X Research source- “This is such a niche subject! How’d you get interested in it?”
- “I’ve never met anyone who’s so into Faulkner. What about his work fascinates you?”
- “What did you study? And how’d that get you into this industry?”
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Use active listening to show him you get what he’s talking about. When you’re talking to a smart guy, ask follow-up questions to keep the discussion flowing. [11] X Expert Source Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker Expert Interview. 19 October 2021. Stand with confident, upright posture and make eye contact. People who appear more confident are proven to be more attractive! [12] X Research source The next time you’re talking with an intelligent guy, try responding with these follow-up statements:- “That’s so interesting. Tell me more.”
- “Wait, back up a second. Why did you make that choice?”
- “I hadn’t heard of that before. How’d you learn about it?”
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Share your passions and opinions. True smart guys won’t be intimidated by people who are as driven and ambitious as they are. [13] X Research source Make sure you’re both giving each other space to talk in the conversation, but feel free to talk about what matters to you. Bring up your goals for the future, your favorite discussion topics, or different perspectives you want to offer.
- “I have a slightly different opinion on the housing crisis. As a case worker, I get to interact with a lot of residents who are facings serious issues as a result of the new laws.”
- “I studied socio-linguistics, so I’m always down to talk about slang. I’m a total nerd in that I love analyzing what emojis mean.”
- “I hope to go back to school and finish my bachelor’s once my daughter’s older. I’d love to study history.”
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Look for common interests and values besides intelligence. You definitely want to find your intellectual equal, but it’s also crucial to find a guy who has other things in common with you. [14] X Expert Source Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker Expert Interview. 19 October 2021. Does he treat other people well? Do you two share similar life goals and hobbies? Try this exercise to help narrow down your search for smart guys: [15] X Research source- Write a list of all the traits you’d want in a future partner.
- Edit down your list to remove any duplicates and focus on the most important traits.
- Keep revising your list as you meet guys.
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Try changing up your profile if you’re on a dating app. If you haven’t found guys you like, it’s time to hit refresh! Focus on photos that show off what you’re passionate about. If you’re a strong advocate for voter rights, post a pic from a campaign rally. If you’re an engineering wizard, post a beautiful portrait you took with the drone you build. Update your bio to mention what you like and topics you’re interested in. [16] X Research source
- For instance, if your bio says something like “Talk to me about beach picnics, corgis, and deleted scenes from The Office ,” you might want to add in a few more intellectual topics to grab smart guys’ attention.
- An edited profile might say, “Talk to me about reading Russian literature on the beach, corgis, and modern cinematography (especially in The Office 😉).”
- Dating experts suggest refreshing your profile with new photos and info every 4 weeks so that the algorithms show your profile to more people.
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References
- ↑ https://www.cnet.com/pictures/best-dating-apps/
- ↑ https://dailytargum.com/article/2021/04/tinder-but-make-it-elitist-i-tried-the-league-dating-app-for-one-month-heres
- ↑ https://mashable.com/article/sapio-dating-app
- ↑ Shana Tibi. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a12181/men-who-visit-museums-make-the/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a12181/men-who-visit-museums-make-the/
- ↑ https://ilovelibraries.org/for-book-lovers/bookclubs/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-practice/201803/why-you-should-ask-your-friends-and-family-set-you
- ↑ Shana Tibi. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.
- ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-turn-small-talk-into-smart-conversation/
- ↑ Shana Tibi. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.
- ↑ https://www.spsp.org/news-center/blog/romanticconfidence
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201605/why-some-men-are-intimidated-smarter-women
- ↑ Shana Tibi. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.
- ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/how-use-love-list-find-your-ideal-romantic-partner-ncna847641
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a34304070/dating-app-profile-update-monthly-for-more-matches/
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