Q&A for How to Deal with a Mean Coach

Remember that your coach is a person. Coaches are humans, and they have bad days. Sometimes they might not mean it if they say something negative. Try to stick through the season. Even if your coach is a jerk, remember that you made a commitment to ride out the season. Don't quit the team unless the coach does something truly abusive that leaves you no choice.

Look at your own behavior. If your coach plays favorites, ask yourself whether there's anything you could improve on. For instance, make sure you're always on time to practice, and don't complain, make excuses, or distract your teammates.

You might want to try asking politely. If that doesn't work, then think of a really good reason why you want to do new skills and tell him that.

It depends how much you love the sport. If you're not enjoying it but love the sport, consider your options -- can you move to another team? Can you wait a year until you've improved? Can you grin and bear this awful coach long enough to learn more? Consider having a parent come to talk to the coach with you, to sort out what is going on.Coaches sometimes just do not like you and in this case, you may be better off finding a team with a coach who can respect you.

Confront your couch about it first, but do so privately, either by phone, email, or in his or her office. Say something like: I've heard that you've been talking about me behind my back. Is this true?" If your coach denies this, or continues to disrespect you, bring the attention to your parents, the department head, or the principal.

Cut down on your chatter. The coach - for better or worse - is the boss. You could try talking to him/her about playing time.

It's up to you. Try asking the coach if there's anything you can do to get him/her to stop yelling.

Tell him! Remind him politely that you're on his team for a reason, and that you can't play well if it's not fun.

Just remain calm. If you get nervous during practice, take a few slow deep breaths to settle yourself down. If you're doing your best, not goofing off, etc., you're probably not on his bad side. Use this anxiety to fuel your performance. Show your coach what you've got! If you think he's not impressed with you, make him change his mind!

Talk to the coach about your concerns. If teammates feel the same, approach the coach together. You could also ask an adult to talk to the coach or look for another team you can join.

Don't show it, because, in the end, they are your coach. But, to get rid of your anger, you could channel it into the sport and show them wrong.

Try to see things from the coach's perspective. Even coaches can make mistakes. The coach might also be trying to challenge or test you. Also, it is not wrong to ask your coach about why he made that call after the game.

No. You should not stop doing what you love because of a rude coach. Simply find another coach and remember it's completely normal to make mistakes.

If they have accused or made a bad call on whatever you were doing, know that even coaches make mistakes. Reason with your coach and ask why you are being treated that particular way.

If she is throwing any type of objects at you, you need to tell someone. That isn't okay. That is a form of abuse, and abuse is not going to help you get better at the sport. Talk to a teacher, the principal, a parent, or another coach about what is going on.

Consider the reasoning behind your coach's decision from their perspective. It may not be a matter of performance, but maybe attendance to practices, or your attitude. Make sure you always give your coaches a heads up if you're going to miss practice. For the yelling and picking out your flaws, talk to your coach about it. If they don't stop, talk to another trusted adult or report them to the principal/office.

Figure out if the coach is actually knowledgeable about the sport. If the coach knows a lot about the game you’re playing, chances are you’re not playing as well as you think. Maybe he’s looking for a specific type of player. Also, it’s definitely possible the coach already has 6 people on his team who play exactly the same as you. To make a team, you can’t play just as well as the worst players on the higher level team, you have to show the significance of your play or even your personality. Try asking the coach how you can improve to make the team next time.

You should find other help (like a private coach) if your coach won't help you.

If she doesn't teach anything, there is really no point in attending training sessions. Tell your parents about the situation you are facing on the team. Since you have your team's support, you can go to whoever is in charge of sports in the administration (talk to someone in the front office) and tell them what's going on.

Follow the applicable tips in Deal With Teachers That Take Your Personal Items Away .

Talk to your parents and ask them to complain, either to the coach or the administration or organization that runs the team.

Try to have a personal talk with your coach. Tell him or her about your love for the team and the sport. What about him or her is mean though? Is it constant punishment? Is it name calling? Is it humiliation? If he or she does any of those things, then that’s something you may need to address to the athletic director or an adult.