Q&A for How to React When Being Caught Doing Something Wrong

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  • Question
    How do you calm down when you did something wrong?
    Nicole Barile, PhD, NTP
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Nutritional Therapist
    Dr. Nicole Lippman-Barile is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner (NTP) who practices in New York. As a psychologist, she specializes in treating anxiety and mood disorders, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and related compulsive disorders. As a nutritional therapist, Dr. Lippman-Barile specializes in treating blood sugar dysregulation, digestive health, and mood disorders related to food. She holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Hofstra University and a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner Certification from the Nutritional Therapy Association.
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Nutritional Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Try to humanize your situation. Remember that we all make mistakes all the time, so cut yourself some slack for making something wrong. That said, reflect on why you decided to engage in that behavior and try to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
  • Question
    What if I overslept for work and got fired?
    Community Answer
    Just be more responsible next time. You know where you went wrong, so just learn from your mistake and be careful not to repeat it.
  • Question
    I know lying will get me nowhere, but neither will the truth, because the truth doesn't make sense. There are bad consequences either way, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    Even though you will have a bad consequence either way, you should tell the truth. This is best for your reputation and your conscience. If necessary, make sure to give a heartfelt apology so the person knows you are serious and telling the truth.
  • Question
    How can I gain the courage to tell the truth?
    Community Answer
    Make a daily decision to not tell any lies. When you do, the truth will be easier to speak.
  • Question
    My teacher caught me playing on my iPad when I wasn't allowed to. What should I do if she emails my parents?
    Community Answer
    If you did so during class and she emails your parents, tell your parents that you are really sorry for doing that, and really mean it. Express that what you did was wrong and that you won't do it again.
  • Question
    I got caught watching porn. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    The answer really depends on who caught you. If it's a girlfriend or spouse who would feel hurt and betrayed by your actions, you need to apologize, for starters.
  • Question
    What do I do if I said something bad to my mother and I hurt her feelings?
    Community Answer
    Apologize, give her space, then do something kind for her.
  • Question
    What if I broke my parent's heart when I was caught cheating and lying after playing a game I wasn't supposed to play, and they said they won't talk to me for the rest of their life?
    Community Answer
    Everybody says things they don't necessarily mean when they're angry or upset. It's very unlikely your parents really plan to never speak to you again. If they won't talk to you right now, write a letter to your parents in which you apologize sincerely for what you did and promise never to do it again. If they've given you a punishment, accept this without complaint.
  • Question
    I used my dad's email and I think the website an email to him, what do I do?
    Community Answer
    Tell him the truth. It's better to tell the truth about something and get in trouble than to lie and get in even more trouble.
  • Question
    I am sleeping over at my friend's and her younger sister hates me. I don't want to be rude, but I can't stand her. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Just try to get along with her for your friend's sake. Be pleasant and polite. If her sister does or says something rude, ignore it. You're there to hang out with your friend, don't let her little sister ruin your good time.
  • Question
    What should I do if a video tape indicates that I didn't write something down when I should have, and I could lose my job?
    Community Answer
    Admit your fault. If you deny it or try to make it less major than it is, the people you work for are more likely to fire you. Give them a reason to keep you, tell them you will accept whatever outcome gracefully. This way, if you are let go, you're more likely to receive a positive recommendation in the future.
  • Question
    What should I do if someone caught me doing something and didn't tell on me, but I'm worried?
    Community Answer
    If it's someone you know fairly well, just ask them if they plan to tell. You might even be able to convince them not to. If you don't know them, or if they say they're going to tell, just come clean about what you did. Your punishment will probably be less severe if you own up to your mistake.
  • Question
    How do I keep from being sad because I got in trouble?
    Community Answer
    Be sure to fully confess to what you did wrong and apologize, as a clear conscience automatically feels better. Tell yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and you are still valuable and loved. Then, find an activity you enjoy in order to move on from that sad place.
  • Question
    I feel like my friend's mom hates me. She caught me doing something really bad and gave me a lecture about how what I did was wrong, she sounded annoyed and really angry. What should I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    She probably doesn't hate you, that's a really strong emotion. This situation forced her to be angry, which changes the relationship between you, which is annoying because it may not have been what she wanted to have to do. Try and find a way to show that you understand why what happened was wrong, that you'll try and avoid it, and will try and avoid forcing her to be angry with you.
  • Question
    How should I react when my parents catch me doing something wrong?
    Community Answer
    Come clean and accept your mistake. Tell them you are sorry for doing what you did and you will not do it again.
  • Question
    I was caught attempting to bypass a banned website at school, and now I'm really worried I'm going to get suspended or something. What do I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    If the rules say "If you do this, then that will happen", then it is likely that this rule will be applied to your case. You did the action, so you can expect the consequences. I don't think that what you did would merit a suspension, but if your school's rules say it does, there is little you can do. Not knowing the law does not excuse you from not abiding by it, so you can't plead ignorance, as in, "I didn't know I would get suspended." But you can make your case. Show you understand why it is not allowed, and apologize. Show you have given thought to how to avoid doing it again, that you have learned. Then ask to consider giving you a warning instead of a suspension.
  • Question
    I told my friend something I shouldn't have about someone else, and I was caught. I regret that, but the person has the tendency to overreact. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Just because someone has the "tendency to overreact" doesn't mean those feelings are invalid or the person is just being dramatic. It's not the other person's fault; it was yours, and you need to take responsibility. Own up to it, sincerely apologize for your actions and let the person know you have learned from the experience.
  • Question
    I was caught watching porn by a parent, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    It depends on how they reacted. If they were embarrassed and quickly backed out of the room, it's probably best just not to mention it. If they were really angry or upset, apologize to them. Try to lock your door when you're watching porn, or if you don't have a lock, do it in the bathroom.
  • Question
    I found a chair and put them back with the rest where they were supposed to be. A woman thought I was messing with the chairs and didn't even let me explain myself. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    If you weren't doing anything wrong, she's no right to judge you. You could say something like: "What makes you feel it's okay to go around accusing people of doing things without even listening? It's none of your business and you're being rude and nosy. I am now going to call the authorities on you." Then get your phone out and start calling the officials or even the police.
  • Question
    I got caught bunking school with a guy. I apologized to my mom. But she brings up the issue constantly and I need to listen taunts 24/7. I’m sick and even considered leaving my house. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Talk to her about how it makes you feel to keep on hearing this, so she might feel a little guilty about going on. making it obvious. Remind her you're young and young people make mistakes. And let her know if she keeps it up, you'll move away.
  • Question
    What if i am caught while using my phone, which I should not use?
    Community Answer
    Act as if you were checking the time, date, etc., or if viable, then act like you're simply fiddling with it but most important act casually and relaxed. If you don't feel comfortable lying, then simply pay attention to your surroundings and keep it hidden.
  • Question
    What happens if I did something wrong but I didn't know it was wrong?
    Ilikechicken
    Community Answer
    Tell the person that you didn't understand it was wrong and express contrition. Tell them that you have learned from your mistake and won't do it again. In future, talk to someone before doing things again that you are unsure of.
  • Question
    So I dared my friend to play a song on the bus and now I’m scared that I’m going to get in trouble. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Act natural. Delete evidence of the song from your device, and switch your usual seat on the bus. But the best thing to do would be just to be honest, apologize, and just do a few detentions.
  • Question
    I was caught by a girl's mother for texting some bad messages. She won't listen to me and will tell my parents. I feel so stressed thinking about it. What should I do?
    Belle K.
    Top Answerer
    Best thing you can do is talk to your parents if they confront you about it and be honest. And remember that this will pass; by next month, you won't be thinking about this.
  • Question
    I copied the answers from my friends. A teacher caught us, and now we have a serious consequence. I’m sad; what should I do?
    Belle K.
    Top Answerer
    Learn from your mistake. If you work together make, sure you are writing your own thoughts and answers. Look up the difference between plagiarism and summary, which will help you learn what I mean. Plagiarism in college can lead to being expelled, so it's best to get caught now and not later.
  • Question
    What do I do if I get caught by my parents for having something I shouldn't have?
    Belle K.
    Top Answerer
    Talk to them and be honest. Talk to them about why you felt you needed/wanted to have it. Apologize and seek to have an understanding about why you did what you did.
  • Question
    What if I write gay fan fictions and my parents are homophobic and I’m scared of them catching me but I support LGBTQ+—?
    Heather Lopez
    Community Answer
    You should either write the stories somewhere else, or completely quit writing them altogether. If your parents don't approve of the writing, then listen to them and respect their wishes.
  • Question
    I got caught breaking the Surface Pro, my dad's old computer, and I'm nervous that my parents will get mad at me. It is only a small crack, but what do I do?
    Itz_Regina
    Community Answer
    Tell them what you did. Explain how you didn't mean to do it, explain how it happened, and apologize. Even if they don't accept your apology, it is his old computer and he'll get over it and before you know it, it won't be important anymore.
  • Question
    I meant to throw my water bottle on the couch but missed and put a dent in the wall. I was already worked up and emotional before that but I did tell her that is was by mistake. But she is still so mad!
    Community Answer
    Continue to be friendly to her, and act like it is over and done with now. Offer to fix the dent, it's a good learning opportunity for you and action speaks louder than words. wikiHow has plaster/drywall repair instructions, as do other places online including YouTube. Actions to fix things often speak louder than apologies.
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