Q&A for How to Turn a Guy On

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  • Question
    How do I make him feel important?
    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
    Licensed Relationship Therapist
    Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.
    Licensed Relationship Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Ask him plenty of questions about his life, hobbies, interests, family, and job. Understand why he likes what he likes, and try your best to appreciate his unique interests.
  • Question
    How do I turn on my boyfriend?
    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
    Licensed Relationship Therapist
    Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.
    Licensed Relationship Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Try having an open, honest conversation about his needs. Believe it or not, you can turn guys just by making an effort to understand their needs and wants.
  • Question
    Is it okay to have sex with my ex if he isn't in love with me anymore but I am still in love with him?
    Community Answer
    The truth is, someday it will hurt you. If he stops having sex with you when he finds someone else, you will be heartbroken. You're a booty call. It's all up to you, but try to stop what you're doing before you get your feelings hurt.
  • Question
    My boyfriend and I have experimented with kissing before, but I now want to take things further. How do I go about making the first move?
    Community Answer
    Kiss his neck, run your fingers through his hair, run your hands up and down his spine, start with taking his shirt off and see if he goes with it.
  • Question
    I just met this guy a couple days ago and we've talked a bit, but I'm not sure he's actually into me - what do I do?
    Community Answer
    Just keep getting to know him. Take it slow, then eventually try and slip it into a conversation.
  • Question
    How do you get a guy to miss you?
    Community Answer
    Move on with your life.
  • Question
    I'm 13, and I really like my bf, but how do I know he likes me back?
    Community Answer
    If he's your boyfriend, that's a good sign he likes you. If you're still unsure, you could just ask him how he feels.
  • Question
    How can I know whether my partner wants to have sex if he never tells me and says it is up to me?
    Community Answer
    He wants you to be bold and make the first move. If he says it's up to you, then make the first move, and ask for consent periodically to make sure what you're doing is OK.
  • Question
    How do I get my boyfriend to do different sex positions?
    Community Answer
    Just tell him you want to try different positions.
  • Question
    I'm 16. What can I do to find out if someone has a crush on me but is trying not to show it?
    Community Answer
    Ask any mutual friends if he talks about you. Ask for his social media names, like SnapChat, and try sending flirty snaps, or plan a day to just "hang out" and act flirty. Touch his forearm, make a lot of eye contact, and laugh at his jokes.
  • Question
    How should I explain a fantasy that is sexual to a guy without any experience doing so before?
    Community Answer
    It's always a little awkward to have these conversations, but it's important to be honest so that you can get what you want. Next time you're in an intimate situation, just say something like, "You know what would really turn me on?" Then tell him your fantasy. Most guys are happy to hear about their partner's sexual wants/needs.
  • Question
    How do I show someone I love them when I don't know how?
    Community Answer
    You can tell them that you love them, or if you want to use physical gestures, hand-holding, looking into their eyes, and hugging are all ways to show someone you love them.
  • Question
    How do I know if I'm a good kisser?
    Community Answer
    Ask people who have kissed you. Your current partner might be inclined to lie to make you happy, but I bet your former partners would be honest.
  • Question
    How do I get a guy alone?
    Community Answer
    Ask him to hang out. Invite him to your house, or to a friend's house if you think they'd be cool enough to leave you guys alone, or subtly try to get him to invite you to his house.
  • Question
    What could a girl do to let a guy know that she likes him?
    Community Answer
    The best thing to do is just tell him how you feel. If you're too shy to do that, you can try some subtle flirting. Smile at him, laugh at his jokes, make a lot of eye contact, and touch him on the arm or hand while you're talking to him.
  • Question
    What do I do if my guy is drifting further away from me?
    Community Answer
    Talk to him to figure out if he really is, ask what is going on and discuss together to try to find the best solution. Normally, relationships have ups and downs, meaning that sometimes you or your partner might doubt if this is really what you want. Talking it through is always better than wondering.
  • Question
    How do I turn someone on if we keep getting interrupted by family members?
    Community Answer
    It would be better to find a more private, intimate setting where you won't be disturbed by others.
  • Question
    How do I make my boyfriend to be physical in public, like hand holding and baby kisses?
    Tigerclaw51731 AJ
    Community Answer
    Talk to him about it, but don't overdo it either. People in public don't want to see couples with their tongues down each other's throat. If he doesn't want to do it, initiate with small cheek kisses or such.
  • Question
    I just want to hook up with a guy, but I don't have a boyfriend or someone who shows that they're interested in me, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    Wait. The person will come eventually, and It will all feel right. Forcing it now will make it less exciting.
  • Question
    How do I get to this stage from being normal friends but once in a while flirting?
    Community Answer
    First break the touch barrier. Touch more places gradually and soon enough you should be fine.
  • Question
    What should I do if a guy tells me he is not ready for a relationship, because he needs to heal and change things in his life?
    Blondtraillite
    Top Answerer
    You do not attempt to seek the type of relationship he's telling you he is not ready for. If he says he needs to heal and change things in his life, believe him. Both of you need to want it. However, you can ask if there's anything you can do to help with his process. Similarly, you can ask "if that's not how you see me, at least right now, can you tell me how you see me fitting into your life?" He may not see you. He may see a friend. He may even see you with hope that you can wait for him. Even if he hopes for more, if he's not ready, do not push him. Respect that.
  • Question
    I'm in love with a man; he feels the same way. I have been celibate for 25 years and haven't been physically attracted to anyone, until him. I want him so bad, it's indescribable! What do I do?
    Blondtraillite
    Top Answerer
    You say you love the man, and you may very well, but what you have described here is lust. You have to ask yourself some questions. Was celibacy a commitment or an excuse because you never felt attraction before? A vow of celibacy will be tested - is this a mere test? Is it important? Is it still who you are? Was it a journey for your growth to bring you to this new opportunity for growth with another? Only you can answer that. Remember that your answer is about you, not him. Find a quiet (internal) space and consult your soul. Once you know what you need to do, then you fit him into that picture.
  • Question
    So, there is this guy I like and he likes me back. However, when he's talking to his friends, he's being rude to me, but when he is with me, he is so nice. I don't know what to do.
    Blondtraillite
    Top Answerer
    He doesn't like you. If he liked you, he would like you all the time. You are convenient for him. He will continue to give you just enough to get you to stay, be available for play, and discard you when he's done. It is your choice whether you want to be used, to slip away quietly, or confront him about his terrible public behaviour toward you. There's no good choice, but it's called "the right choice," not "the perfect choice." You have to make it.
  • Question
    I am 36 and haven’t had my first kiss. I am homosexual. How do I get boys to like me?
    Blondtraillite
    Top Answerer
    You don't. You like yourself, be yourself, find someone whom you like, and then you take a chance in telling him you like him, or at least want to get to know him. Maybe he'll be intrigued, maybe he won't be, but the only thing you can control is you. This article is about influence, not force. You can't force it. But nobody is going to really care about your age. They don't need to know why you're nervous, only pick up that you are. And, with someone new, most of us are nervous. Besides, if he does like you, he'll be happy to "practice."
  • Question
    Would my boyfriend like it if I told him I dream about him?
    Community Answer
    Yes! If it was a romantic/sexual dream, tell him all the details!
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