How to Quit Crossdressing

PDF download Download Article
Stopping cross dressing in the healthiest way possible
PDF download Download Article

If you want to quit crossdressing (wearing clothes intended for the opposite gender), we’ll help you achieve that goal. However , you may not want or need to quit, especially if your behavior is simply an articulation of how you feel. A lot of crossdressing enthusiasts get down on themselves because society has a way of shoving people into boxes, but that’s all the more reason to defy those boxes in the first place by ignoring them entirely. So, if you want to quit, we’ve got you covered. If you want help navigating how you feel, well…we’ve got your back there too.
This article is based on an interview with our licensed clinical psychologist, Kateri Berasi, founder of Transcendent Self, PLLC. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Crossdressing is completely harmless and if you want to continue crossdressing, it’s totally okay.
  • If you do want to quit, focus on other hobbies, stay busy, and give away any crossdressing clothes to avoid the temptation.
  • Resist the urge to feel bad about not conforming to traditional gender norms. There’s nothing wrong with who you are.
Section 1 of 3:

How to Stop Crossdressing

PDF download Download Article
  1. This is especially productive if you’re crossdressing as a way to express yourself or combat gender norms. You may discover other outlets for your creativity, such as painting, writing, or baking. Others may enjoy playing an instrument, going for a walk, working out, or other activities. Finding another hobby to do will help to divert your attention away from crossdressing and provide you with something to do. [1]
    • Whenever possible, choose social hobbies, like chess, basketball, book clubs, or community gardening. This way, you’ll surround yourself with other people, which should help insulate you from the urge to crossdress.
  2. Hide or donate the clothes you used to wear when you crossdressed. You will be less likely to crossdress if you hide your clothes (out of sight out of mind). Put your clothing in a garbage bag and store it somewhere out of the way. You could also donate your clothes to be worn by others. [2]
    • If you have any feeling like you may want to crossdress in the future, don’t donate or throw away your clothes.
    Advertisement
  3. Exercise more often. Dedicate yourself to volunteering twice as often as you currently do. Sign up for those after-school or after-work activities. The more active and engaged you can get in your free time, the less time you’ll have to sit around thinking about crossdressing. You’ll also feel better if you’re more active! [3]
  4. Nobody says you have to quit crossdressing entirely. If this is becoming a bit of a big time sink for you, maybe just try to keep it to one day a week or something like that. Cutting back by 50-75% can really improve your headspace without laying down the pressure to stop crossdressing entirely. [4]
    5. Advertisement
Section 2 of 3:

Reflecting and Taking an Emotional Inventory

PDF download Download Article
  1. Crossdressing is sort of like getting exercise in the sense that everybody has different motivations for doing it. Think about how you feel when you’re wearing the opposite sex’s clothes and meditate on what your primary motivation is. It could be that you get one of the following out of crossdressing:
    • Exploration and expression of self. Perhaps you’re just articulating something about yourself by crossdressing, or maybe blurring the gender lines is interesting to you.
    • Sexual thrill. Some, but not all, of the people who crossdress get a sexual kick out of the “taboo” of crossdressing and enjoy the inversion of gender roles. [5]
    • Personal comfort. Look, a lot of men’s and women’s clothes aren’t particularly comfy, so if you enjoy wearing the opposite gender’s clothes at home, maybe it’s just a comfort thing.
    • It’s fashionable. This applies mainly to men who get stuck with boring suits, T-shirts, and flannels most of the time. Women just have so many cooler options! If you’re a fashionista, crossdressing just makes sense.
  2. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing however you want—and for whatever reason. Clothes are fundamentally not harmful, and you can wear whatever you want whenever you want. Society has a way of making people who don’t follow every single social and gender norm feel bad, but don’t let that impact your choices in life. [6]
    • It’s totally normal to feel a little anxious or nervous about violating a social “rule” like gender, so don’t feel bad if you’re a little bummed out. All of this is okay.
  3. There are plenty of guys out there who enjoy crossdressing and are exclusively attracted to women. [7] There are also plenty of women out there who enjoy dressing as men and are attracted to them, too. Basically, every kind of attraction exists with crossdressing, so don’t treat your crossdressing as something that it isn’t. [8]
    • This isn’t to say that you can’t crossdress and identify as LGBTQ+, just that it’s not a hard and fast rule. There isn’t necessarily a big connection there.
    • If you’re worried about your partner judging you or putting you down for crossdressing, it’s a sign that they aren’t mature enough for the relationship to begin with.
  4. Maybe this is a sign that you’re trans and maybe it’s not. Maybe crossdressing is a sexual thing for you, and maybe not. Either way, there’s no benefit to rushing to judgment. It’s totally okay to feel a little confused or mixed up about this, and it can take time to sort out complicated feelings. Don’t rush it—you’d be robbing yourself of valuable self-discovery. [9]
  5. And that’s okay! Even if you quit, so what if you have the occasional urge to wear different kinds of clothes? You can just ignore it and move on—even if it’s a little uncomfortable for a minute. The point is, people have impulses to do all kinds of stuff, and that doesn’t mean they have to follow them. [10]
    • Think about married couples. You think each person in a marriage never finds someone else attractive? They do—all the time, in fact!—they just don’t act on it.
    • If you find the urges to crossdress impossible to ignore because they make you depressed or uncomfortable, you may be transgender . [11]
    6. Advertisement
Section 3 of 3:

Getting Help

PDF download Download Article
  1. Crossdressing is an extremely common behavior. It’s as old as Shakespeare, after all. [12] Find a message board or forum where other people are coping with or discussing their urges to crossdress and reach out for help. Just make sure you stick to all-ages forums if you’re under 18.
    • Reddit’s r/crossdressing and r/lgbt are great resources if you have questions.
    • Empty Closets is a forum dedicatedly entirely to people who may be gender non-conforming or LGBTQ+, so it’s a great option.
    • The upside of talking to folks online is that it’s anonymous, so you don’t need to worry about being judged.
  2. Issues surrounding gender are so common that there are entire schools of psychology and therapy dedicated to them. Seeing a professional therapist can give you the safe space you need to express how you feel, process your feelings, and cope with any uncomfortable or messy emotions you have.
  3. If you feel safe, just talk to a friend of yours about what you’ve been experiencing. Maybe they’ll help you fight the urges to crossdress by providing an emergency point of contact, or perhaps they’ll keep your clothes safe while you figure it out. But even if they don’t, it will help to express yourself with someone who knows you—even if they’re just a sounding board who helps you sort things out on your own. [13]
    • If you have parents or family members who are really warm and open about gender performance, you can talk to them instead. It’s totally okay to avoid talking to your parents if you don’t think they’ll react in a loving way, though.
    4. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Become a Woman: Male to Female Transition
      How to
      Tuck and Tape
      How to
      Tuck Without Tape
      How to
      Crossdress
      How to
      Wear a Bra as a Male Crossdresser or Gender Nonconfirming Person
      Make Your Own DIY Boobs on a Budget: 2 Easy Methods
      How to
      Pass As a Male (For FTMs)
      How to
      Wear Feminine Clothing as a Trans Woman
      Easy Ways to Look & Act More Feminine as a Guy
      How to
      Know if You Are Transgender
      How to
      Safely Bind Your Chest Without a Binder
      How to
      Make a Binder
      How to
      Adjust to Being a Boy when You Really Want to Be a Girl
      Is Tucking Dangerous? All Your Questions About Tucking Answered
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://connecthealth.org.au/enews/pursuing-a-hobby-can-improve-your-mental-health/
      2. ↑ https://www.glamourboutique.com/male-to-female-transformation-tips/how-to-overcome-the-crossdresser-purge-and-binge-cycle-122428
      3. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/Physical-activity-how-to-get-active-when-you-are-busy
      4. ↑ https://www.glamourboutique.com/male-to-female-transformation-tips/how-to-overcome-the-crossdresser-purge-and-binge-cycle-122428
      5. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22005209/
      6. ↑ https://stars.library.ucf.edu/etd/5785/
      7. ↑ https://shepherdexpress.com/lifestyle/sexpress/husband-crossdresser-d2/
      8. ↑ https://www.drkarenruskin.com/are-all-cross-dressers-gay-transgender-is-it-a-sexual-fetish/
      9. ↑ https://www.yalsa.ala.org/jrlya/2020/02/its-okay-to-be-confused-lgbtqai-teen-novels-as-sexuality-and-sexual-health-information-resources/
      1. ↑ https://anunslife.org/blog/nun-talk/how-do-nuns-deal-with-sexual-urges
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/disorders/gender-dysphoria-symptoms
      3. ↑ https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9780367853563/spectrums-shakespearean-crossdressing-courtney-bailey-parker
      4. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/symptoms/

      About This Article

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 82,957 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement