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Taking on more responsibility and developing maturity is a process that takes time and effort. Proving your maturity to your parents can be even more difficult, as they will want you to enjoy your childhood without taking on too much responsibility. Although your parents may not want you to be in a hurry to grow up, there are still ways that you can display your maturity now. By taking some extra time to show your parents that you can set and achieve your goals, doing extra chores around the house, and getting good grades in school, you can prove to your parents that you are a responsible and mature kid. [1] X Research source
Steps
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Start doing more work around the house. If you already have a list of chores to do around the house, take the initiative to do them and more. If you do not have a list of chores to do, make an effort to do things around the house. Spend time doing things your family would normally do for you, or make an effort to get things done before anyone asks you to do them.
- Focus on the chores you are known for not enjoying. Doing chores that you don't particularly enjoy shows your understanding that sometimes people have to do things that they don't like. If your parents are often asking you to clean your room, keep it as clean as you can all the time.
- Make sure to do your housework without complaining. Doing your chores without whining about having to do them shows that you understand why they must be done, and demonstrates your maturity. If you hate mowing the lawn or raking leaves, but your parents ask you to do this often, make an effort to take care of the lawn without being asked. [2] X Research source
- Do chores that benefit everyone living in your house. Spend time doing the dishes for the entire family. If you have a dishwasher and see that it is full of clean dishes, take the time to put them all away. Vacuum or tidy common areas, such as your living room, whenever you notice they need cleaning.
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Make school a priority. Treat school as you would treat a job that you are paid to do. Focus on your school work and set goals for your academic future. Whether your goals revolve around what college you will attend or improving your current grades, spend time planning on how to achieve these goals. Dedicating time to your studies is an important step in showing your maturity.
- Be awake and ready for school as early as possible, so your parents do not have to rush you out the door.
- Finish school related tasks before your parents have to ask you to finish them. Complete your homework as early as possible, and if you can, try to get started on work that may not need to be completed until the following week.
- Make your parents proud by setting goals that help you earn good grades. If you are struggling in a class, make the effort to reach out for help with that subject, either from your teacher, a tutor, or a classmate.
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Earn your own money. Ask your parents if you can do work around the house to earn money, or take a step further and try to do jobs around the neighborhood. Whether you are walking dogs, mowing lawns, or babysitting, demonstrate to your parents that working for your own money is important to you. This will show them that you are ready to take on more responsibility.
- Ask your family for jobs that you can do around the house that are more involved than your regular chores, such as cleaning out the garage. Explain to your family that you are trying to earn your own money and assign rates for each of the jobs they propose.
- If you are old enough, head out into your neighborhood and offer your services to your neighbors. You can rake leaves or shovel snow, so long as your neighbors have agreed to let you do the job.
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Manage your own money. When you get some cash, whether it's your birthday, a holiday, or money you have earned through hard work, show your parents that you can manage that money responsibly. Avoid spending money that you've received or earned right away, as this can be a sign of impulsivity and immaturity. Your family will respect your decision to responsibly save money.
- Ask your parents to help you open up a savings account at your local bank.
- Set aside a portion of your money for savings and a separate portion for spending on whatever you'd like. This shows that while you might want to spend your hard earned money frivolously, you know that saving money is an important skill to have for the future.
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Control your emotions. When you get mad, don't start kicking things and crying, as this may be interpreted as childish behavior. A big part of showing your maturity is learning to control how you express your emotions. Remaining calm and collected in a variety of scenarios will help show your parents how mature you are.
- Be tolerant and patient with others. Just because someone has snapped at you does not mean you need to snap back at them. [3] X Research source
- If you get angry about something at home, walk away. Take some time to cool down and think straight before telling the person who made you angry how you feel. [4] X Research source When you've calmed down, explain to your parents why you were angry and offer solutions as to how you can take steps to fix the problem.
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Explain your feelings when you are angry. When you are frustrated with what you feel is unfair treatment, explain this to your parents. If you are being asked to do a chore more often than your siblings, tell your parents why this upsets you. Stay calm when discussing the problems with your parents, and practice what you will say before having the conversation.
- Try saying, “I am frustrated that I have had to do the laundry all week and my sibling has not. I would feel better if we all pitched in to help with the chores,” or try saying, “I feel that I am doing more than my fair share of the housework and would appreciate some help from my siblings with the chores.”
- Be the mature sibling. Don't argue or engage in petty fights with your brother or sister. Stay away from conflict, and if you really have the urge to argue back remember that you have a goal, to prove you are mature to your family.
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Own up to your mistakes. No one is perfect and a true sign of maturity is recognizing that you have made a mistake. Take responsibility for your actions. Avoid blaming other people for your mistakes, as this is a sign of immaturity.
- Think about what you've done and tell your family about it. Let them know that you have the capacity to understand that you did wrong and how you would deal with the same situation in the future.
- If you lost control of your temper and yelled at your parents, apologize by saying, “I am sorry I raised my voice to you when I was angry. I know that is not a good way to handle my frustration, but I was very upset,” followed by the reasons you lost your temper.
- Be sincere when taking responsibility for your actions. If you have made a mistake that has hurt someone, apologize and express your remorse for the situation.
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Talk to your parents. Sit your parents down to have a conversation about the goals you've set to demonstrate your maturity, such as keeping your room clean or completing chores without being asked, and what you expect to achieve from meeting these goals. Before having this conversation, make sure you have shown improvement on your school work and made an effort to help around the house. Explain to your parents that you are making an effort to be more responsible.
- Tell your parents about your goals and how you've laid the groundwork to achieve those goals. Ask your parents for feedback on your goals. Whether they have constructive criticism or advice, listen to what they have to with an open mind. [5] X Research source
- Talk to your parents about what you hope to achieve by demonstrating your responsibility. For instance, if you want a new pet, try saying, "I have been making an effort to keep the house clean to show that I am responsible enough to take care of an animal. I think that the effort I have put into doing extra chores shows that I am dedicated and ready to take care of a new pet."
EXPERT TIPMarriage & Family TherapistMoshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).Active listening is a great way to demonstrate respect. Rather than just waiting for your turn to talk, really listen to your parent's viewpoints.
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Make a plan to continue improving. Consider if you are looking to prove your maturity for a specific reason, or if you would just prefer to be seen as a more responsible and mature kid. If you're looking to earn specific privileges (such as getting a new pet) by showing your parents how responsible you can be, consult with them on your plan.
- Write a list of the goals you have set for yourself. Discuss these goals with your parents, and ask them for advice, feedback, or help in achieving them. Try saying, "I am working towards keeping my room clean and organized at all times, and I am hoping that this will show that I am responsible. Are there any other responsibilities you would like me to take on?"
- Write out the reasons you want to show your maturity. Perhaps you want a new pet or a longer curfew. Ask yourself what you have already done to deserve these things, and what you can continue doing to work towards them. [6] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Understand that certain goals may be more long term than others. Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to achieve your goals.
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Determine if all of your goals are reasonable. Think about your plans and the goals you have set to prove your maturity. Ask yourself if your goals are appropriate for your age. Understand that your family may have certain rules in place for your safety and learn to value their reasons. If your goals directly violate your family's rules, consider whether or not it is a reasonable goal for the time being. You may need to change some of your goals to compromise with what your parents think is reasonable.
- If one your goals is to go out with your friends on your own, understand that your parents may feel uncomfortable without you having an adult available in case of an emergency. If this is the case, offer to compromise with your parents. Perhaps ask to go on a trip to the mall with your friends, and go to the stores you'd like on your own, while you parents are in the mall.
- Building trust with your parents is a great way to showcase your maturity and work towards your future goals. Continue to make compromises with your parents until you have earned enough trust to do the things you want.
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Respect your family's rules. Most likely, your parents are not making rules to keep you from being mature or having fun. Your parents make rules to keep you safe and healthy. The most mature thing you can do is to make an effort to understand why your parents make the rules they do.
- Your parents will know when you are old enough to do certain things, like extend your curfew. Continue working towards achieving your goals to express your maturity, and they may be more likely to allow you to do the things you want. Take this time to enjoy being with your parents.
- Stay positive, even when your parents won't bend the rules. Remember, just because your parents won't bend the rules doesn't mean they don't see all the work you are putting into being a responsible kid.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can someone learn to stop making excuses and take more responsibility in their life?Jennifer Butler is a Love & Transformation Coach and the Owner of JennJoyCoaching, a life coaching business based in Miami, Florida, although Jennifer works with clients all over the world. Jennifer’s work centers around empowering women who are navigating any stage of the divorce or breakup process. She has over four years of life coaching experience. She is also the co-host of the Deep Chats Podcast along with Leah Morris and the host of season 2 “Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle” by Worthy. Her work has been featured in ESME, DivorceForce, and Divorced Girl Smiling. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from New York University. She is also a Certified Health Coach, a Communications & Life Mastery Specialist, and a Certified Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “the One” coach.It's really about stepping out of that victim mentality. It has to be a conscious choice. You have to think I am the source of everything that happens in my life. I am the creator. If I am the creator of everything that happens, then there can't be blame. When you blame somebody or something, you're powerless. You're at the whim of life or the other person. When you stand in this perspective of I'm the creator, then you're empowering yourself and you’re no longer the victim of circumstances.
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QuestionWhat are some ways I can start acting more mature as a teenager?Desiree Panlilio is a Teen Life Coach and the Owner of Encouraging Teens, LLC. With over three years of experience, she specializes in helping teens and young adults define roles, set goals, develop healthy academic and personal habits, grow in leadership potential, and create their life paths. Desiree holds a BSN in Nursing from The University of Victoria and an MA in Human Services Counseling with a concentration in Life Coaching from Liberty University.One of the best ways to start being more mature as a teenager is to take on responsibility. Help out with chores, get your work done on time, and be proactive about your life.
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Tips
- Do things around the house to help without being told.Thanks
- Be kind to your family.Thanks
- Perform well at school and act responsibly.Thanks
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Warnings
- Avoid complaining and whining, especially when your parents ask you do something you do not want to do.Thanks
- Don't be in a hurry to grow up. Enjoy your time as a kid!Thanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about maturity, check out our in-depth interview with Desiree Panlilio .
References
- ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/signs-that-you-have-matured.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-experience/201306/six-aspects-being-adult
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-labermeier/25-signs-of-maturity_b_6423960.html
- ↑ http://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/maturity-levels/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/artificial-maturity/201211/the-marks-maturity
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2892678/
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