Here Are the Perfect Comebacks for When Someone Tells You to Shut Up

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Shut someone down the next time they tell you to shut up with one of these clever quips
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Picture this: you’re out with friends, hanging with your crush, or maybe in the hallway at school face-to-face with someone you can’t stand. You say something, they respond “Shut up!” and everyone looks at you to see what happens next. What will your comeback be? We’ve all been there. Being told to shut up happens for all kinds of reasons, and it’s nerve-wracking to come up with a reply on the spot. We’ve put together a list of comebacks for “shut up” for every situation—whether you’re saying it to a friend, bully, sibling, or crush. Keep reading to find the perfect comeback for you!

Things You Should Know

  • Simple, snappy comebacks are great: “You first,” “Make me,” and “No” can catch people off-guard and show them they can’t push you around.
  • Funny comebacks can be great for friends, siblings, and bullies. “Are you gonna cry if I don’t?” and “What are you? 5 years old?” can disarm people quickly.
  • Comebacks like “Make me” and “Ha ha ha” can be flirty since they provoke a response.
  • Laughing or ignoring people can be great power moves, since they show that you’re not easily intimidated.
1

“You first.”

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    If they’re just kidding, it could make them laugh. And if they’re being mean, it’ll show them you won’t be silenced so easily.
    • For added effect, say “You first” with a completely straight face. Deadpanning is a subtle way to push back when someone is trying to intimidate you.
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2

“Why don’t you lead by example?”

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    Not only is it a snappy comeback, but it disarms them by mocking their so-called “maturity.” Bonus points if it makes other people around you laugh.
    • If they keep saying mean things, you can put your hand up and say, sarcastically, “Thanks for the example, you’ve done a great job.”
3

“What are you? 5 years old?”

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    Is “Shut up!” all they could think of? Do they not know any bigger words? Follow up with these questions to really get under their skin.
    • This one could really drive someone nuts, especially if they’re your sibling or close family member. Use it with caution!
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4

“No.”

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    It’s perfect for bullies and other people who are just plain mean. Seriously, what are they gonna do? Ask you again, politely?
    • Avoid using this on adult family members or people in positions of authority. In those situations, it’s better to be funny than blunt.
5

“Are you gonna cry if I don’t?”

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    Think about it: what were they planning to do if you said no? Chances are, they don’t have a plan because they weren’t expecting your comeback.
    • Be careful if you think someone could act out dangerously. While you’re never responsible for someone else’s behavior, you should always look out for your own safety.
    • Talk to a responsible person—like a trusted adult or authority figure—if somebody’s behavior makes you uncomfortable.
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6

“That’s clever. Did you come up with that all by yourself?”

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    Can’t they think of anything better?
7

“Looks like somebody needs a nap.”

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    Maybe a nap will cheer them up. And as a bonus, it’ll make them go away for a while.
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8

“Make me.”

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    If someone is kidding around or being flirty, saying “make me” can jokingly escalate things and make them laugh. It could even lead to a witty back-and-forth, which is a great way to flirt and make friends. [1]
    • You can also use this on bullies if you think they’ll back down, but don’t do it if you’re worried they’ll act out. In those situations, try a different comeback.
    • As always, talk to a responsible adult or authority figure if someone’s behavior makes you uncomfortable.
9

“Nice. Did they teach you that in Anger Management class?”

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    Who knows? Maybe an anger management class would help, especially if they didn’t pass the first time around.
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10

“Maybe. Let me think about it.”

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    This shows them that they can’t boss you around, and that you’re not going to listen to a bully.
11

“Oh, did I interrupt you while you were talking trash?”

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    This one is great if someone is being rude or has a reputation for trash-talking. It shows them that they can’t disrespect people and get away with it. Not around you, at least. [2]
    • Standing up to a trash-talker empowers other people to stand up for themselves too. Chances are, you’re not the only person whose feelings have been hurt by this person.
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12

“Don’t tell me to shut up.”

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    Bullies love to be controlling, so nothing gets under a bully’s skin like having someone talk back to them. They might try to laugh it off, but they can’t fool anyone. You have every right to stand up to them.
    • You can also say “You can’t talk to me like that” or something similar. The goal is to show them that they can’t say whatever they want.
13

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

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    A person may get offended if they misunderstand what you say, or if you accidentally phrase something in a hurtful way. Acknowledging this can help everyone move forward amicably.
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14

“Who put you in charge?”

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    Someone should remind them, so why not you?
    • Avoid using this with someone that actually is in charge, like a leader or authority figure.
15

“You may be in charge, but you can’t speak to me like that.”

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    Being a leader, teacher, or boss doesn’t give someone a right to humiliate or mistreat you.
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16

“That’s a really rude thing to say.”

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    Telling someone to shut up is rude, and unless you said something inappropriate first, they deserve to know that they’ve crossed a line.
17

“I’m sorry.”

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    Sometimes, a person may tell you to shut up if you’ve hurt their feelings or said something inappropriate. Don’t sweat it. It happens to all of us. [3]
    • Bring it up with them later if you’re not sure what you did wrong. Someone may get offended for lots of different reasons, and it never hurts to own up to your mistakes.
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18

Laugh at them sarcastically.

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    For bullies, it shows you’re not intimidated. For friends, it can de-escalate things by telling them they’re not funny, without being too mean. And for crushes, it can be flirty—especially if they’re saying “shut up” to tease you. [4]
    • It’s best not to say “ha ha ha” if someone is genuinely upset with you, since it can seem dismissive. In those situations, it’s best to apologize when you get the chance.
19

Put up your hand and keep talking.

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    Putting up your hand and ignoring them is the equivalent of saying “I don’t need to listen to you.”
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20

Just ignore them.

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    It demonstrates that you don’t take them seriously, and that their words don’t affect you. True, you might still feel angry or hurt, but you don’t have to admit it—especially to someone who is being mean.
    • Ignoring someone works better if they’re trying to get your attention.

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    Why are people so rude nowadays?
    Charlotte Kennedy
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    "Bitterness is the language of the insecure." They may be mean because there's something going on with them that you don't know about. Even if that's the case, that's no reason to be mean. In return, be nice to them. Once they see that their words or actions don't affect you, they'll hurt you less and less. Even if you don't feel like being nice, try it!
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  • Question
    Tell me a sassy comeback.
    Moriah Wood
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    "I don't shut up. I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up."
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    Give me a comeback for people to get their jaws dropped.
    rayconshop
    Community Answer
    "Oh, I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public." This line delivers a strong message with a touch of sarcasm, making it memorable and impactful.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/rude-people/
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-respond-to-rude-or-inappropriate-remarks
      3. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-art-of-a-heartfelt-apology-2021041322366
      4. ↑ https://hbr.org/2020/07/sarcasm-self-deprecation-and-inside-jokes-a-users-guide-to-humor-at-work

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      Being told to shut up is frustrating, but it feels great to turn it around with a snappy comeback. Let them know they can’t shut you down with a short and simple retort, like “You first,” “Make me!” or a deadpan “No.” You can also call them out on their immaturity with something like, “What are you, 5 years old?” or “Wow, you’re cranky. Looks like someone missed nap time.” If you’d rather not sink to their level, try calmly saying, “Don’t tell me to shut up,” or “That’s not an acceptable way to talk to me.” If you want to really throw them off guard, try something non-confrontational, like “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Can we start over?”

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