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Use the proper titles and gestures when rubbing elbows with royals
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A long history of etiquette establishes how to show respect to a member of the British aristocracy. In the modern day, no one requires these courtesies, and you're unlikely to annoy members of nobility as long as you are polite. However, you may still want to feel prepared and avoid embarrassment at a formal event: equip yourself with the proper etiquette and honorifics to formally address members of the British royal family and aristocracy.
Things You Should Know
- When first presented to the King or Queen, address them as “Your Majesty” and subsequently as “Sir” or “Ma’am” (pronounced to rhyme with “jam”).
- Address male and female members of the royal family as “Your Royal Highness” and subsequently as “Sir” or “Ma’am.”
- Dukes and duchesses are addressed as “Your Grace” unless they are the children of the King or Queen, in which case “Your Royal Highness” is appropriate.
Steps
Formal Address Cheat Sheet
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Address the King or Queen as “Your Majesty.” After your first response using “Your Majesty,” address the King as “Sir” and the Queen as “Ma’am,” using a short ‘a,’ as in “ham.” [1] X Research source For example, if the King asks you, "How are you enjoying the United Kingdom?" respond with, "It's wonderful, Your Majesty."
- If the King asks you another question, end that next response with “Sir.”
- Avoid addressing a Queen or King as “Your Royal Highness.”
- Note that the correct title for the King is "His Majesty the King." Avoid "King of England," as that is just one of many titles that refer to a specific country.
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Address all other members of the royal family as “Your Royal Highness.” This honorific applies to both male and female royalty. After the first presentation or introduction, address male royals as “Sir” and female royals as “Ma’am.” [2] X Research source
- When speaking directly to the royal, replace any “you” or “your” in the conversation with “Your Royal Highness” or “Your Royal Highness’s.”
- If you mention a royal family member in the third person, always use a full title (such as "The Prince of Wales") or "His/Her Royal Highness."
- Referring to someone by name (for example, "Prince William") may be considered rude.
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Greet royalty with a small bow or curtsy. If you’re a man, bow your head slightly at the neck. If you’re a woman, give a small curtsy by putting your hands by your side, placing one foot behind the other, and bending slightly. Perform this greeting when the royal family member passes by you or when you are presented to them, and repeat this greeting when they leave. [3] X Research source
- Bows are traditionally expected by men and curtsies by women, but in the modern age either is acceptable for any gender.
- Deep curtsies are not a faux pas, but they are uncommon and difficult to do gracefully. Deep bows from the waist, on the other hand, are never performed in this situation.
- Technically, only those who have the British monarch as their head of state must bow or curtsy—although even they are not strictly required to.
- Citizens of other countries, such as American citizens, may bow or curtsy, but they are not expected to. [4] X Research source
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Opt for a small nod or bob instead of a bow or curtsy. Give a small and respectful nod when a royal passes by or you are introduced to them. Alternatively, give a short bob by keeping your back straight, your hands at your sides, bowing your head, and dropping your knees slightly. [5] X Research source
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Shake hands only if the offer is extended. The Royal Family's website states that shaking hands is also an acceptable form of greeting, alone or in addition to one of the modes above. However, wait for the Royal Family Member to extend their hand first and use only a light touch with one hand. [6] X Research source
- Do not initiate any physical contact yourself.
- If you are wearing dress gloves (which is certainly not required), men should remove the gloves before shaking hands, while women may leave them on. [7] X Research source
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Let the royal personage take the lead in the conversation. Wait until they greet you before you speak. Avoid changing the subject, and do not ask any personal questions. Let them guide the conversation to a natural end. [8] X Research source
- Foreigners should resist the urge to speak "proper" if it comes across as an imitation of an English accent.
- The King and his relatives have spoken with thousands of people around the world and do not expect you to speak as they do.
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Contact the Royal Household if you have further questions. The staff of the Public Information Office at the Royal Household is happy to answer questions on proper etiquette. If you are not sure of the preferred title for a particular royal or the expectations for hosting a particular event, enquire by post or telephone. [9] X Research source
- Call (+44) (0)20 7930 4832, Monday to Friday from 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM GMT.
- Address a letter
to:
Public Information Officer
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA
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Address dukes and duchesses as “Your Grace.” If the Duke or Duchess is a member of the King or Queen’s family, such as a son or daughter, refer to them as “Your Royal Highness.” If speaking in the third person, refer to a Duke and Duchess as “His Grace” and “Her Grace.” [10] X Research source
- In spoken conversation, it’s best to avoid using titles like “Duke” or “Duchess” unless you are of the same social standing.
- If you are making a formal introduction, however, you may say "His/Her Grace the Duke/Duchess," followed by the rest of the title.
- Dukes and duchesses belong to the highest grade of peerage in the aristocracy.
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Refer to lower noble ranks as “Lady” and “Lord.” Follow “Lady” or “Lord” with the aristocrat’s last name. [11] X Research source Following the Duke and Duchess, lower ranks of peerage include (in order):
- Marchioness and Marquis
- Countess and Earl
- Viscountess and Viscount
- Baroness and Baron (the wife of a baron is not given the title of baroness unless she is a baroness in her own right, although she is still always referred to as “Lady”) [12] X Research source
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Address baronets and knights by “Sir” or “Dame.” A baronet or male knight is addressed as “Sir + (first name),” with their wife addressed as “Lady + (surname).” A female knight is addressed as “Dame + (first name),” but her husband remains “Mr. Surname.” [13] X Research source
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Address an aristocrat’s children by a courtesy title. Address the son of a duke or marquess as "Lord" followed by his first name. Address the daughter of a duke, marquess, or earl as "Lady," followed by her first name. [14] X Research source
- If meeting a peer's heir apparent (generally the eldest son), look up his title. He will often use a secondary title of his father's, which is always of a lower rank.
- In all other cases, the child has no special title ("The Hon." is used only in writing). [15] X Trustworthy Source Official UK government website Official website for the public sector of the UK government Go to source
- Great-grandchildren in the male line of the monarch are not considered princes or princesses. Use the courtesy titles “Lord” or “Lady” unless they have a title of their own.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionHow do I address a royal prince?Community AnswerAt first meeting he is address with Your Royal Highness, and Sir thereafter.
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QuestionWhat happens if you accidentally say something or act impolite?Community AnswerIn all honesty, just apologize.
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QuestionWhen do you use the title "Your ladyship"?Community AnswerWhen you address a lady or countess (wife of an earl). If you would normally say 'you' in the context, then substitute it for 'your ladyship'. For example: "Have you finished lunch yet?" would become "Has your ladyship finished lunch yet?".
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Tips
- If a royal or aristocrat has expressed a preference about how they would like to be addressed, that overrides the general rules.Thanks
- The King occasionally grants knighthoods to non-subjects, but these honors do not add a title. In other words, address an English knight as "Sir" but an American knight as "Mr."Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- In most cases you may address a Lord by their land. For example, George Brown is the 1st Earl of Durham. If he is a member of the House of Lords you may call him Lord George, Lord Brown, or Lord Durham.
- If possible, it's in your best interest to research or gain knowledge of the person and their titles before you meet them.
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Warnings
- If you are caught unprepared, it's probably better to admit ignorance rather than "winging it." If possible, ask a protocol officer or another un-ranked or lower-ranked person.Thanks
- This article deals specifically with meeting British peers and royalty . Aristocracies in other countries may have different etiquette and, unlike the British, may not be as forgiving for failing to observe the correct etiquette.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/royals/correct-way-address-king-charles-27952049
- ↑ https://thebritishschoolofexcellence.com/social-etiquette/meeting-the-queen-know-the-royal-protocol/
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-40668579
- ↑ https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3146657
- ↑ https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN1I800D/
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-40668579
- ↑ https://www.theroyalbutler.co.uk/post/handshake-etiquette
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-40668579
- ↑ https://lordlieutenantofcornwall.org.uk/contacting-the-royal-family/
- ↑ https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/a-field-guide-to-british-noble-titles-whats-a-duchess
- ↑ http://www.hmsrichmond.org/avast/titles12.html
- ↑ https://candicehern.com/regency-world/glossary/titles-and-forms-of-address/
- ↑ https://candicehern.com/regency-world/glossary/titles-and-forms-of-address/
- ↑ https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/a-field-guide-to-british-noble-titles-whats-a-duchess
- ↑ https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/titles-included-in-passports/titles-accessible
About This Article
Article Summary
X
To formally address British royalty and aristocracy in person, give a small nod if you’re a male, or a brief bob by bending slightly at the knees if you’re a female. Then, let them initiate the conversation and use the full formal address in your initial reply, such as “Yes, your majesty,” for a royal member. With members of the aristocracy, address Dukes and Duchesses as “Your Grace,” and all lower ranking members like Barons and Earls as “”Lord” and “Lady.” After the initial response, you can use “Ma’am” or “Sir” for the rest of the conversation. To learn more, including how to address members with non-noble titles, like baronets and knights, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "Thanks so much for this lifesaving article! While not actually meeting British nobility, I am writing about them, and this is one of the most comprehensive and helpful articles I have found, detailing how to refer to them. Kudos!" ..." more
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"Thanks so much for this lifesaving article! While not actually meeting British nobility, I am writing about them, and this is one of the most comprehensive and helpful articles I have found, detailing how to refer to them. Kudos!"
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"It was all quite helpful. My grandmother "Magalhaes" came to America at 3 years old, passed her knowledge of our family over the last 100 yrs, explained our "line", and how to dress. But she never taught me "Royal" introduction."
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"Researching a science fiction story I'm writing, in which antiquated-in-future modes of address are sometimes retained. Thank you so much, from an American (kind-of) Quaker raised "crossing the Pond" but nonetheless confused!"
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"Defining the order of British peerage, lowest to highest, with duke and duchess at the top was especially helpful. I was quite surprised to discover that a duke or duchess is greeted as that first and "Your Grace" thereafter."
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