How Long Does It Take to Go from Exclusive Dating to a Relationship?

Written by Candice Mostisser | Edited by Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: April 16, 2024

Dating can get a little complicated, especially when you're waiting on the right time to define your relationship. If you've been seeing someone exclusively but haven't had the "what are we" conversation, you might be even more confused. Thankfully, this article is here to help. We've got everything you need to know about going from exclusively dating to a committed relationship, including how long it might take, what stages you may go through first, and how to define the relationship when you're ready.

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, Candice Mostisser. Check out the full interview here.

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Section 1 of 5:

How long does it take to get into a committed relationship?

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Every couple is different, but it usually takes 2-4 months to get into a committed relationship. This amount of time allows two people to get to know each other on a deeper level and see if they're compatible. ^{[1]
X
Research source} It's important to note, though, that the range of time can be anywhere from 6 weeks to a whole year.
- People usually start out by seeing each other casually. Then, they may agree to see each other exclusively without defining the relationship (though some relationships remain open).
- Once they realize they can trust each other and feel comfortable, they may decide to define their relationship and discuss their expectations in a committed relationship.

Section 2 of 5:

Casual Dating

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Casually dating means you’re getting to know each other and may be seeing other people. During the casual dating phase (which typically lasts about 2-3 weeks), you may simply want to have fun. You might be going on semi-regular dates and hooking up, but commitment or monogamy isn't expected. Even if it might be a little awkward, it's still worth it to talk about your expectations for a casual arrangement to make sure that you're on the same page.
- It's important to let the person you're seeing know if you're sleeping with other people or want to wait a while before getting more serious.
- You might say, "I love spending time with you, but I should let you know that I'm seeing other people right now, too" or "I'm not really looking for anything serious at the moment, but I'm having a great time getting to know you."

Section 3 of 5:

Dating Exclusively

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Dating exclusively means you're not seeing other people but haven't defined the relationship. This phase usually lasts a few months (though it may last up to a year, depending on what you're looking for). During this time, you may start to consider if the two of you are seriously compatible. You'll likely start to get to know each other on a deeper level and open up about your past experiences, your values, and your goals in life. Here are some other signs that you're exclusively dating, but not in a committed relationship:
- You see each other on a regular basis (once to a few times a week)
- You're both only seeing each other
- You've met each other's friends
- You haven't defined the relationship

Section 4 of 5:

Committed Relationship

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A committed relationship describes when you've communicated your expectations and agreed on what you want. Couples in committed relationships have talked about what they're looking for and established an arrangement that they both feel good about. They likely also envision a future together (whether that be remaining together for a long time, moving in together one day, or in some cases, starting a family). Before you commit to someone seriously, it's important to ask yourself these questions: ^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Do I see a future with them?
- Do I trust them?
- Do I feel comfortable being myself around them?
- Do they make me feel respected and appreciated?
- Reader Poll: We asked 280 wikiHow readers about what they wanted from their romantic life, and only 6% of people said they enjoyed periods of casual dating without building any lasting connections. [Take Poll] So if your ultimate goal is to move from casual to committed, you’re not alone there!

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Am I Ready For A Relationship?

Relationships offer fun, comfort, and companionship, but how do you know when you’re ready to commit? By waiting until you’re truly ready, you’re allowing yourself to be the best partner possible. To find out if you’re finally ready for a relationship, take our quiz!

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