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Decode the meaning of “something casual” and decide if a casual relationship is right for you
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If you’re on dating apps like Bumble or Hinge, you’ve likely met eligible hotties who describe themselves as looking for a “something casual.” You might be able to guess that “casual” means “low-commitment” or “no strings attached,” but what exactly do these terms mean from person to person—more importantly, how do you find out? Buckle up! In this article, you’ll learn about the ins-and-outs of casual dating, including what it (often) entails, how to talk about it with potential partners, how to tell if a casual relationship is right for you, and whether a casual relationship can ever turn into something more.
Things You Should Know
- Most people who say they’re looking for something casual are really just looking for a hookup.
- The best way to figure out exactly what a date is looking for in a relationship is to communicate openly about both of your expectations.
- Casual relationships can turn into serious relationships—but don’t count on this happening.
Steps
Section 1 of 4:
What It Means When Someone Says They’re Looking for “Something Casual”
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They’re likely just looking for a hookup. Many people use “something casual” as a less crude way of saying they just wanna bang. They may be interested in carrying on a friends-with-benefits relationship, or they may just be looking for a one-night stand, but either way, they’re probably not looking for more than that.
- While "casual dating" could mean a one-night-stand or an ongoing casual relationship, the vast majority of casual daters sleep with people they've known longer than a day. [1] X Research source
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They may see other people. Some folks who aren’t interested in committing to one person may use “casual dating” as shorthand for “dating around.” They may know they’re not ready for or interested in pursuing a committed monogamous relationship. So if your date says they want to keep things casual , consider that that may mean they’re seeing you tonight and someone else tomorrow night.
- There’s nothing wrong with seeing multiple people if everyone’s open about it, and even people looking for a serious relationship might see multiple people before committing to one of them.
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They don’t have any expectations. Part of being in a committed relationship is being able to count on your partner—you can call them in a crisis, you factor each other into your major life decisions, and though you likely won’t hang out constantly, you’d probably be hurt if they took off for a weekend without telling you. In casual relationships, there are little to no expectations: your date might not reach out to you much, and date nights are never assumed.
- You may hook up with your casual partner and then never hear from them again, or maybe you only hear from them when they want to hook up. But there’s no expectations beyond that, really.
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They aren’t currently interested in pursuing a long-term relationship. They’re not interested in whether you’d be a good life partner—or whether they’d be one. Even if they're interested in one day having a long-term thing, it's not where their head is at right now. This means no weekend trips to the country, no meeting the parents, no questions about how many children you want or what your 5-year plans are. People who pursue “something casual” are generally living in the here and now only.
- Some people who date “casually” may be open to a long-term relationship and just want to take things slow before committing, but don’t expect this to be the case with every casual dater. [2] X Research source
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They likely won’t keep in constant contact. When you first start dating someone, you might text all day and make regular plans to see each other. Even after the honeymoon period has ended, partners in a committed relationship likely keep in fairly constant contact: they prioritize hanging out and cultivating intimacy and you likely talk every day. In a casual relationship, there are no such communication expectations. They’ll likely just text to see if you want to hook up, or maybe hang out in a very surface-level, noncommittal way.
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They probably won’t be your emotional support. You might be able to call this person at 2 a.m. for a booty call, but not to talk you through your late-night existential dread. In a serious relationship, you and your partner rely emotionally on one another, but most casual relationships are surface-level only.
- Because casual relationships often don’t take the future into consideration and, in fact, are usually short-lived, most casual daters avoid getting emotionally attached to the people they go out with.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/strictly-casual/201408/what-type-casual-sex-are-people-really-having
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/strictly-casual/201408/what-type-casual-sex-are-people-really-having
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/02/ce-corner&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1692718416203560&usg=AOvVaw38vfzYKI-gDE4vvYpHjzpr
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/02/ce-corner
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