This article was co-authored by Julianne Cantarella
and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman
. Julianne Cantarella is a Dating Coach, Certified Life Coach, Licensed Social Worker, and the CEO and President of New Jersey's Matchmaker. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping women heal from a heartbreak and create healthy long-term relationships. Julianne created a comprehensive transformational date coaching program From First Date to Soulmate™ that has helped hundreds of women find love. She holds a Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) from Ramapo College of New Jersey and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from Fordham University. Julianne has contributed to numerous media such as Your Tango Online Magazine, 24Seven Wellness Magazine, and Talk of The Town Magazine. She has also been featured as a relationship expert on CBS, iHeartRadio, and PBS “This Emotional Life Project.”
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 184,389 times.
Worried your texts are coming off a little dry? It’s not always easy to tell how your texts are sounding, especially if you’re chatting with that special someone in your life. There’s no need to worry, though—we’ve got your back. Read on for plenty of tips and tricks on how to not be a dry texter. In just a few minutes, you’ll be able to take your texting game to the next level!
Steps
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Dry texters often expect the other person to start the conversation . All conversations (including texts!) require an equal amount of give and take. Instead of waiting for the other person to shoot you a text, feel free to get the conversation going on your own. [1] X Research source
- “Happy Sunday! ☀ Any big plans for the day?”
- “Just saw your Snap Story! Looks like you had a great time last night 😄”
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One-word texts don’t help a conversation live up to its full potential. Texts like “hey” and “hi” are easy to send, but can be a bit tricky to respond to. Longer messages are way more fun to reply to and show that you’re really interested and engaged in the conversation. Here are a few ideas to help you get started:
- “Hey there! You ready for the science test today?”
- “OMG you won’t believe the dog I just passed on my walk today 😭”
- “My sister just took me to a cat cafe and it was the cutest thing ever 🥺🐈 We’ve got to go together sometime!”
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Your IRL convos focus on a specific topic, so make sure your text chats do, too. A basic “what’s up” or “you up” message doesn’t really mean anything; plus, it doesn’t give your texting partner much to work with. Make your message as clear and specific as possible, so the other person has no trouble replying.
- What Not to Say: “You up?”
- What to Say: “Trying to sleep and failing.. Any chance that you’re still awake? I’m so bored 😂”
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This proves that you really care about and listen to what they say. Maybe your texting partner had a big test coming up, or they were stressing about an upcoming vet appointment for their pup. Shoot over a quick text to see how things are going—they’ll be touched that you cared enough to remember and ask. [2] X Research source
- “Hey there! I know you mentioned your sister checked into the hospital last week. I hope she’s doing okay, and I’m wishing you and your family the best! ❤”
- “How’d that math test go? I know you studied a lot last week.”
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Give your texting partner the same time and attention you’d give an IRL friend. Yes, texting is meant to be a quick, on-the-go way of chatting with people—but that doesn’t mean your texts should sound super dry and detached. Take all the time you need to really read through the other person’s text, so you can send a thoughtful, engaging reply.
- What Not to Say:
- Them:
“I just got a raise at my job!”
You: “Oh, that’s cool”
- Them:
“I just got a raise at my job!”
- What to Say:
- Them:
“I just got a raise at my job!”
You: “That’s awesome! I’m so proud of you. You totally deserve this! 🥳💗”
- Them:
“I just got a raise at my job!”
- What Not to Say:
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A quick reply shows you’re interested and invested in the conversation. Let’s be real—texting convos are way more fun when you have a regular back-and-forth. While you don’t have to reply immediately to a message, do your best to reply within a few minutes so you seem really engaged in the convo.
- If you’re busy or in the middle of something, just reply when you’re free and able to text. You could say something like “Sorry I missed this! I was at the grocery store” or “So sorry for the late reply. I was just getting caught up on the math homework, LOL”
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Emojis can add a lot of interest and personality to your messages. Let’s be honest—plain, emoji-less texts just aren’t as fun to read. A simple emoji can add a lot of fun energy to your message. [3] X Research source
- “Almost got into my neighbor’s car 😂”
- “Up to anything exciting this weekend? 👀”
- “Just got Thursday off from work!! 🥳😄”
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GIFs allow you to be really expressive and fun over text. Not sure how to put your thoughts and feelings into words? There’s probably a GIF for that. Pull up the GIF keyboard or search bar built into your phone and find the perfect pic for your conversation. [4] X Research source
- Many GIF keyboards let you search and sort through GIFs by topic and emotion. This is a great way to narrow down what you’re looking for!
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Memes are a great way to earn a few laughs. Although memes can be a little hit or miss sometimes, but they’re still a great way to add some personality and humor to your usual texts. [5] X Research source It’s hard to go wrong some iconic classics, like:
- Distracted boyfriend
- Expanding brain
- “Change my mind” table
- Disgusted and happy Drake
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Open-ended questions help a conversation reach new, interesting heights. They require a little extra thought and consideration to answer—in other words, they can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Drop an interesting question in the chat and see where your conversation leads! [6] X Research source
- “Do you have any secret talents?”
- “What’s your greatest achievement?”
- “What are your go-to songs on Spotify?”
- Reader Poll:
We asked 305 wikiHow readers which texting game they’d most enjoy playing with their boyfriend, and 53%
of them said 20 Questions.
[Take Poll]
- If you feel self-conscious randomly asking questions, suggest a game of 20 Questions!
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There’s nothing dry about a text that showcases your sense of humor . Is your humor as dry as a desert, or are you more well-known for your (in)famous Dad jokes? Whatever the case, don’t be afraid to sprinkle it into your messages. After all, funny, personality-filled texts definitely aren’t dry!
- “What did the bartender say to the horse who walked in?
Why the long face? 😏” - “I was thinking about buying a PS5, but my bank account told me that it wasn’t a good idea 😔”
- “What did the bartender say to the horse who walked in?
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An obviously flirty message will keep your texting partner on their toes. Set a flirty tone by sending a pic of something that reminds you of them, or by subtly hinting that you both should get together sometime. [7] X Research source Your texts will be fun and interesting to read, and they definitely won’t come across as dry.
- “Was at the LEGO Store with my nephew and saw the Seinfeld LEGO set. It totally reminded me of you! We should marathon it sometime at my place 👀”
- “You like slasher movies?! We’ve gotta watch one together sometime 🤩”
Gregg Michaelsen, Dating CoachA clever turn of phrase, a compliment, witty banter — texts that genuinely connect on an emotional level can be just as tantalizing as face-to-face chemistry. The same lighthearted rapport we enjoy live can happen digitally when we communicate in ways that engage the imagination and heart.
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This shows that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say. The only thing worse than a dry text conversation is one-sided one. Keep things interesting asking for the other person’s opinion on something. You’ll learn more about them all while having a super-fun conversation —everybody wins!
- “I’ve gotta know. Are you on Team Coke or Team Pepsi?”
- “What’s your favorite pizza topping? Fair warning, I might judge you a little bit if you say anchovies 🤢”
- “What’s your favorite movie genre? May or may not be taking notes for next weekend 👀”
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Interesting, engaged texters are able to have balanced conversations. Made yourself a 5-star PB&J for lunch? Drop a pic in the chat. Had the craziest dream last night? Spill all of the chaotic, zany details over text. It’s impossible for the other person to be bored when you’re sharing tons of interesting stories in your texting convo.
- ”I think even Gordon Ramsey would like this shrimp scampi I made 😤”
- “Guess who just stuck a red sock in their white laundry load?”
- “I’m technically a Sagittarius, but if you followed the 13-zodiac sign system I’d actually be an Ophiuchus 🤔”
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Zany, unpredictable messages will always keep your texting partner guessing. Did you know that Filipino McDonald’s has spaghetti on the menu, or that strawberries aren’t technically berries? Well, you know now, but your texting partner definitely won’t! A fun fact or other random message is sure to surprise them and keep your conversation super interesting.
- “Super random, but I learned today that Basenji dogs yodel instead of bark?? They’re so cute, I’m actually obsessed!”
- “This is totally random, but I learned that some people apparently make mozzarella cheese with water buffalo milk? I have so many questions 🤔”
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The more intrigue you create, the more interesting your texts will be. If you present yourself as an open book, your texting partner can start to figure you out—and where’s the fun in that? Instead, sprinkle tidbits of information into your texts without painting the full picture for them. That way, they’ll constantly be on their toes!
- “Sorry, can’t share what I’m doing this weekend. It’s top-secret! 🤐😏”
- “I’d love to hang out then, but I’ll be a little bit busy 😉”
Community Q&A
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QuestionI am very weak in conversation. How can I be good at it?Community AnswerThanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
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Video
Tips
- Being an interesting texter is one thing, but you don’t want to come off as overly eager, either! Give the other person the time and space to respond instead of sending a ton of messages at once.Thanks
- If the person is not engaging with you in conversation, try to have them call you and see how things go. If they don't have time for anything other than dry texting, you're better off with someone else.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://rendezvousmag.com/how-to-start-a-conversation-over-text/
- ↑ https://verilymag.com/2017/08/how-to-know-if-a-guy-likes-you
- ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/texting-dos-and-donts-in-relationships/
- ↑ https://rendezvousmag.com/how-to-start-a-conversation-over-text/
- ↑ https://rendezvousmag.com/how-to-start-a-conversation-over-text/
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/how-to-keep-a-conversation-going.html
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/how-to-flirt-over-text-tips-and-flirty-texts-examples.html
About This Article
Reader Success Stories
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Anonymous
Apr 13, 2023
"I'm such a dry texter and I wasn't sure what my friends thought of it. Now I know how to be a better texter." ..." more
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Anonymous
Apr 13, 2023