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When you find out that someone’s being cheated on, the last thing you want is to get swept up in the drama. Figuring out how to let someone know without them finding out who you are can help relieve your conscience without dragging you into any uncomfortable situations. In this article, we’ll help you decide whether or not you should tell someone they’re being cheated on and give you some clever ideas for how to do it anonymously.
Steps
Section 2 of 3:
How to Anonymously Tell Someone They’re Being Cheated On
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Make a fake email address. If you have your friend’s email address, you can send them an anonymous message from a burner email. Create a fake email account that doesn’t use your name or any identifying information, like “Anonymous123@gmail.com.” Then, send your friend an email with details about the cheating and what’s going on.
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Create a fake social media account. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can be used to send someone a direct message. Create an anonymous account that doesn’t use your real name, and keep the profile picture and the bio blank. Then, send the person a message letting them know that their partner is unfaithful.
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Send them an anonymous letter. Write out what’s going on in a note, then put your friend’s address on the envelope. Put a stamp on it, but don’t put a return address in the corner. When your friend gets the letter, they won’t know who it’s from, and your identity will be safe.
- If your friend might recognize your handwriting, consider typing and printing the letter instead.
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Call them from a blocked number. You can hide your phone number so that your caller ID remains anonymous. Simply type *67, then your friend’s number right after it. When you call them, your name won’t show up, and you can tell them the message anonymously.
- Keep in mind that if the person you’re talking to can recognize your voice, they might figure out that it’s you.
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Send an anonymous text via email. If you know the person’s phone carrier (like Verizon, AT&T, etc.), you can send them a text message from a fake email address. Create an email that doesn’t contain any identifying information, then figure out what phone carrier your friend has. Take their phone number and put it in the “To” box of the email, then add in the carrier domain. For instance, if your friend’s number was 502-555-6678 and their carrier was Verizon, you would type, “5025556678@vtext.com.” Common carriers include: [3] X Research source
- AT&T – @txt.att.net (SMS), @mms.att.net (MMS)
- Verizon – @vtext.com (SMS), @vzwpix.com (MMS)
- T-Mobile – @tmomail.net
- Sprint – @messaging.sprintpcs.com
- Alltel – @message.alltel.com
- Boost Mobile – @myboostmobile.com
- Cricket – @sms.mycricket.com, @mms.mycricket.com
- Metro PCS – @mymetropcs.com
- Nextel – @messaging.nextel.com
- SunCom – @tms.suncom.com
- US Cellular – @email.uscc.net
- VoiceStream – @voicestream.net
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Try an anonymous message service. Apps like Signal, Text Me Up, and Phoner will block your number so that you can send anonymous texts. Download the apps or log on online, then enter in your friend’s phone number. They’ll get an anonymous text detailing what you know, and they’ll never find out that it was you. [4] X Research source
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Section 3 of 3:
How to Tell Someone They’re Being Cheated on in Person
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Consider telling them face-to-face. Sending an anonymous note is fine, but telling someone that they’re getting cheated on is not an easy task. If you know this person well or you care about them, consider contacting them and meeting up in-person. That way, they can ask you questions about what you know and you can explain things a little better for clarity. [5] X Research source
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Stick to the facts. Tell them what you know, and try not to embellish or overstate anything. You want to tell them exactly what you saw or heard, but nothing else. If you have any proof, feel free to include that as well. [6] X Research source
- For instance, you might say, “Jeremy, I saw your wife out at a bar with another man. It didn’t look platonic, and at one point I saw them kissing. I thought you should know.”
- Or, “I’m so sorry to say this, but I saw your husband comment on another woman’s Instagram photo. When I looked at her profile, I saw pictures of them together on vacation.”
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Be as kind as you can. Hearing that your partner is cheating on you is never a welcome thing. When you tell them, add in things like “I’m so sorry,” and, “I understand this is hard to hear.” It may help soften the blow, at least a little bit. [7] X Research source
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Try not to tell them what to do. You might assume that they want to break up with their partner, but you never know. Just tell them what happened, and don’t tell them what to do next. They’ll figure out how they’d like to handle things, so let them work through it on their own.
- In some cases, couples can have a healthy, productive conversation about what was missing in the relationship, and can come up with a plan on how to change things. [8]
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Expert Source
Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- In some cases, couples can have a healthy, productive conversation about what was missing in the relationship, and can come up with a plan on how to change things. [8]
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Expert Source
Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201008/should-you-tell-your-friend-his-or-her-partner-is-cheating
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/do-i-tell-my-friend-their-partner-is-cheating-on-them-a6697171.html
- ↑ https://www.online-tech-tips.com/computer-tips/how-to-send-an-anonymous-text-message-that-cant-be-traced-back-to-you/
- ↑ https://www.online-tech-tips.com/computer-tips/how-to-send-an-anonymous-text-message-that-cant-be-traced-back-to-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201507/5-ways-deliver-bad-news-minimum-pain
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201507/5-ways-deliver-bad-news-minimum-pain
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201507/5-ways-deliver-bad-news-minimum-pain
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
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