What It Means When a Guy Looks You up and Down (And How to Respond)

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Learn what he’s thinking when he’s checking you out
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Did that cute guy across the room just catch your eye? But wait… is he checking you out, or just staring at you? When a guy scans your body, you might be wondering what his intentions are. Is he flirting, or is he just super interested in your outfit? That’s where we come in—we’ll tell you exactly why a guy might be looking you up and down, and how you can tell if he’s into you. We’ll also give you tips on how to respond to him if you’re interested (and how to reject him if you’re not).

This article is based on an interview with our licensed relationship therapist, Alysha Jeney, owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the co-founder of The Modern Love Box. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Guys typically scan your body if they think you’re attractive or they’re trying to flirt with you.
  • He might also be checking you out because he’s too shy to approach you.
  • Watch for other flirtatious body language signals, like prolonged eye contact or leaning in toward you.
  • You can encourage the guy to come and talk to you by smiling at him, or you can scowl and cross your arms to scare him off.
Section 1 of 4:

Why He’s Scanning Your Body

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  1. This is the most common reason why a guy would look you up and down: he likes what he sees, and he wants you to know it. He might linger on areas of particular interest, but it all boils down to the same thing—he thinks you’re hot. [1]
    • You might see him make eye contact with you, and then “dip” his eyes down to scan the rest of your body. This is a clear sign that he’s interested in you and he wants to see more.
  2. Sometimes, flirting is subtle, and it doesn’t even have to happen face to face. If you catch a guy scanning your body from across the room, it might be his way of letting you know that he’s interested. [2]
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  3. Guys get shy sometimes, too! Maybe he thinks you’re really pretty, but he’s way too nervous to tell you that. Scanning your body is his way of taking in the view and (hopefully) working up the courage to approach you. [3]
    • When a guy is shy, he might not make a ton of eye contact with you. However, you’ll definitely notice him checking you out, even if it’s from afar.
    • Landing a shy guy might be a little different than landing a super extroverted guy. Typically, they like it when you make the first move.
  4. Have you been sending him flirty signals? Maybe he’s studying your body to try and get a hint as to whether you like him or not. If your arms are uncrossed, if you’re facing toward him, and if you’re making eye contact and smiling, you’re sending him cues that you’re into him . [4]
    • On the flip side, if your arms are crossed, you’re facing away from him, and you’re not glancing in his direction, he’ll probably take the hint that you don’t like him.
  5. Are you wearing a new outfit today? Or, maybe you just dyed your hair a new color. If your look is eye-catching, he might just be taking in the view—whether or not he thinks you’re attractive is another matter entirely. [5]
    • Try to take stock of your own look today: are you wearing something colorful and eye-catching? If so, he might not be hitting on you, and he may just have an appreciation for your taste.
  6. Have you ever seen someone that you swore you knew, but you just couldn’t quite place them? This guy might be taking you in because he thinks he knows you from somewhere. If he ever figures it out, he’ll likely come strike up a conversation with you. [6]
    • You can usually figure this one out by the look on his face: if he looks puzzled or concerned, he’s probably thinking deeply and trying to figure out who you are.
  7. This one is for particular situations only, but it does happen occasionally. Maybe you and this guy are competing for the same job, or he thinks that you’re trying to steal his girlfriend. If he looks you up and down repeatedly, he may just be trying to assess whether or not you’re a threat. [7]
    • He might have a scowl on his face or keep his arms crossed to subtly “intimidate” you.
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Section 2 of 4:

Other Flirtatious Body Language Cues

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  1. When you glance over at him, does this guy hold your gaze for a little longer than usual? If you two chat, does he make sure to look deep into your eyes? Holding eye contact with someone is a surefire way to let them know you’re interested, so if he does this, he’s most likely attracted to you.
  2. If this guy is flirting with you, he might pat you on the shoulder or gently touch you on the arm. Light, soft touches show that he wants to get closer to you, and he’s not afraid to break the touch barrier with you.
  3. When someone is attracted to you, they typically sit or stand a little closer to you than normal people would. This is to show you that he’s into you, and he wants to be closer to you (both physically and emotionally).
    • You might also notice that he turns his body toward you. This is because he wants to face you, and he’s open to talking with you more.
  4. Mirroring or mimicking body language is a subconscious thing we do when we like someone. If you’re standing with your arms crossed, the guy who likes you might cross his arms, too. When you take a sip of your drink, he’ll probably take a sip, too.
    • You might also see him subtly flex his muscles (to look stronger) or fix his hair (to appear more well-groomed).
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Section 3 of 4:

Responding If You’re Interested

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  1. If a guy is trying to work up the courage to come talk to you, give him a hint that you’re interested. When he catches your eye, hold eye contact and smile at him. That might be just the confidence-boost he needs to approach you and start chatting. [8]
    • Feeling bold? Try making eye contact and then scanning his body, too. This sends a clear message that you noticed what he’s doing (and you’re into it).
  2. If he’s not going to make the first move , you can! Head on over and ask him a question to break the ice and start flirting. Try questions like: [9]
    • “Have we met yet? I’m Adriana, nice to meet you.”
    • “Hey, I wanted to introduce myself. How do you know Danielle?”
    • “Have you been here before?”
  3. Complimenting a guy is a great way to start a conversation while letting him know you think he’s cute. If you’re feeling bold, head on over and tell him how much you like his hair or his outfit. [10]
    • “I love your sweater. The color really complements your skin tone.”
    • “Your beard is so cool! How long did it take you to grow it out?”
    • “I saw you from across the room, and I just had to say that your hair is stunning.”
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Section 4 of 4:

Responding If You’re Not Interested

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  1. Closed-off body language sends the signal that no, you don’t want him to come and talk to you. If he’s good at reading body language, he’ll take the hint that he should stop checking you out. [11]
    • This works on some guys, but other guys won’t really care. If he does approach you and start chatting with you, use the steps below to get rid of him.
  2. Be polite and direct, but make it clear that you don’t want to talk . Tell him that you’re just here to have fun or to hang with your friends, not to flirt with people.
    • “Sorry, I’m not interested. I’m just here with my girlfriends.”
    • “You’re wasting your time with me. I’m not here to flirt with anyone.”
    • You could even tell him that you’re feeling uncomfortable if he takes things too far.
    • If a guy is hitting on you and won’t leave you alone, tell a friend or a friendly stranger and stay near them until you feel safe.
  3. Most guys will respect the fact that you’re already taken. Telling him that you aren’t single will get the message across fast.
    • “I’m flattered, but I have a boyfriend.”
    • “I’m actually here with my girlfriend.”

    Warning: More intimidating is to tell him, “I’m waiting for my boyfriend who is a wrestler/karate expert/boxer/bodybuilder.” That will scare him off.

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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/body-language
      3. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7593673/
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/nonverbal-communication
      5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/male-body-language/
      6. ↑ https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/super-recognizers
      7. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0191886995000355
      8. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/07/11/1014019821/flirting-how-to-dating-romance-advice
      9. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/tips-for-finding-lasting-love
      1. ↑ https://hbr.org/2021/02/a-simple-compliment-can-make-a-big-difference
      2. ↑ https://academics.umw.edu/speaking/resources/handouts/body-language/

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