How to Prepare for Your First Time for Guys

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

Having sex is a really big step in a relationship, and we know that there's a little bit of pressure to make your first time really memorable. While everyone has different experiences when they lose their virginity, there are some things you can do to make it a great experience for you and your partner. Keep reading to learn more about how to talk to your partner, set the mood , and stay safe for your first time.

1

Wait until you feel ready to have sex.

PDF download Download Article
  1. You shouldn’t let anyone pressure you into having sex. There isn’t a “right” time or age when you should have sex or lose your virginity, so it all depends on when you feel comfortable making that choice. Your first time is really personal and everyone experiences it at a different time, so don’t let your partner or your friends make you feel like you need to rush into something you’re not ready for. [1]
    • If you’re feeling nervous about having sex, talk to someone you trust and can be open with, such as a parent, counselor, or doctor.
    2. Advertisement
2

Talk about sex with your partner beforehand.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Communicate openly so you know what your partner is comfortable with. Try to have a discussion before you even get intimate to make sure you’re both ready. Talk about what you expect from sex, what feels good for you, and if it’s something you want to do together. If your partner has had sex before, be sure to talk about their past partners and ask if they’ve been tested for sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) to ensure you stay safe . [2]
    • For example, you might ask something like, “What would you like to do when we’re feeling in the mood?” or “What can I do to make you feel the best when we have sex?”
    • If your partner avoids the subject, they might not be ready or comfortable with having sex yet. It's always important to respect boundaries! [3]
3

Clean and groom yourself.

PDF download Download Article
  1. You’ll seem sexier if you look and smell nice . If you haven’t already, take a shower and scrub yourself with some good-smelling soap so you don’t have any body odor . Take a little bit of time to trim your pubic hair with a pair of grooming scissors or an electric trimmer. When you’re finished cleaning yourself up, spritz a little cologne on yourself to really help you smell good. [4]
    • Less is more when it comes to cologne . Too much cologne could be really overpowering.
    2. Advertisement
4

Choose a clean, private place for your first time.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Since you want to share a really intimate moment, look for a place where you aren’t going to be interrupted by other people. If you’re planning on having sex at your place, make your bed , get rid of any clutter in your room, and spray an air freshener. [5]
    • Wash your sheets beforehand to get rid of any crumbs, stains, and odors.
5

Set the mood with lights and music.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Dim the lights a little bit and try lighting a few candles if you really want to make your first time an intimate moment. If you have the time, make or find a playlist with some slow, sexy music that you both like to have something on in the background. [6]
    • Be careful not to add any songs that are too distracting since it could pull you out of the moment.
    2. Advertisement
6

Ask for consent.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Always ask your partner if they feel comfortable and want to have sex before you do anything physically. If your partner says yes, then you can keep going, but if they say no, then don’t pressure them anymore. Your partner cannot give consent if they’ve been drinking alcohol, have done drugs, or if you force them to have sex. [7] [8]
    • For example, you could ask something as simple as, “Do you want to have sex?” or “Are you comfortable if we have sex right now?”
    • If you want to let your partner decide, try asking something like “What would you like me to do to you right now?”
    • Keep in mind that the age of consent may vary depending on your location.
7

Start with some foreplay.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Start with some cuddling , kissing , light touching, and whatever else you’re comfortable with. Ask your partner where they want to be touched and speak up and say how you want them to touch you too so you both have a good time. [9]
    • Some common areas that can help your partner get aroused are their genitals, breasts, neck , earlobes, or thighs. [10]
    • Talk through everything you’re doing with your partner to make sure they’re still comfortable with it. If your partner says they want to stop, then be respectful and stop.
    • Kissing is actually a great way to build intimacy and tension with your partner, whether it’s followed by sex or not.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 726 wikiHow readers who have a romantic partner, and 57% of them agreed that the physical connection they find most intimate is kissing . [Take Poll]
    2. Advertisement
8

Wear a condom.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Condoms can help prevent unwanted pregnancies and STIs. Choose condoms that are made of latex or polyurethane and have reservoir tips for the best protection. When you open the condom, pinch the tip with one hand and put it on your penis. Then, roll the condom down the entire length so it fits tightly. [11]
    • While condoms are some of the most effective forms of birth control, they don’t offer 100% protection, so you may want to ask if your partner is on another form of contraceptive.
    • If the condom doesn’t easily unroll, you may have it inside out. Throw the condom away and start with a new one just to be safe.
9

Use lubrication.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Even though a lot of condoms are already pre-lubricated, a little extra may make your first time go a little easier. Since oil-based lube can weaken condoms or make them break, look for brands that are water- or silicone-based to ensure they’re safe to use. [12]
    • Avoid using oil-based lube when you’re wearing a condom since the lube could make it break.
    2. Advertisement
10

Take it slow.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Sex is a brand new sensation for you, so take your time to relax and enjoy it. Go slowly at first and check in with your partner to see how it feels. You can always speed up and slow down again as you get into a rhythm. [13]
    • If sex doesn’t feel good for you, try changing up what position you’re doing. If you really don’t feel comfortable, tell your partner and stop.
11

Accept that your first time might be a little awkward.

PDF download Download Article
  1. A lot of people put pressure on themselves to make their first time really memorable, but it’s okay if it isn’t what you were expecting. Try to ignore what does or doesn’t happen during your first time, and focus on if you and your partner are enjoying yourselves. [14]
    • You don’t have to mention that it’s your first time to your partner if you don’t want to, but it might help you feel more relaxed and less awkward.
    Emily Morse, Author & Sex Therapist

    Prioritize finding out what works for you. "The best thing you can do for your sexual confidence is taking the time to learn what feels good for your body."

    2. Advertisement


12

Check in with your emotions.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Some people feel really attached to the person they lose their virginity to while others may feel a little more detached. After you finish, talk over what’s going through your head with your partner to see how they’re feeling about it too. [15]

Use a Condom Safely and Effectively with this Expert Series

In order to have safe sex, it's important to know how to use a condom correctly. Fortunately, this expert series has everything you need to know about condoms
1
Use a Condom
2
Use a Female Condom
3
Have Safer Sex
4
Check a Condom
5
Put On a Condom with Foreskin
6
How to Avoid Awkward Interactions When Buying Condoms

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      • If you’re nervous or have questions about losing your virginity, talk to an adult you trust, such as a parent or a doctor. [16]
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      Warnings

      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      170+ Deep, Heartfelt & Passionate Love Messages to Send Your Guy
      How to
      Make Your Girlfriend Want to Have Sex With You
      How to
      Turn a Girl On
      45 Sweet Paragraphs That’ll Make Your Girlfriend Cry
      150+ Romantic & Funny Questions to Make Your Boyfriend Laugh
      28 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Girlfriend
      How to
      Find Out if a Guy Secretly Likes You
      How to
      Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Gay
      Signs a Woman is Sexually Attracted to You
      Romantic and Thoughtful Texts to Send to Your Boyfriend to Make Him Feel Special
      How to
      Create Sexual Tension
      How to
      Tell if Someone Has a Dating Profile
      24 Different Ways to Kiss Your Boyfriend (and Be a Better Kisser)
      How to
      Turn On Your Girlfriend
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/stress-management-techniques-tips-burn-out/
      2. ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/how-do-i-talk-my-partner-about-sex
      3. ↑ Lisa Shield. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.
      4. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/hygiene-basics.html
      5. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/bedroom-environment
      6. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/bedroom-environment/light-and-sleep
      7. ↑ https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Alberta/Pages/understanding-consent-for-sex.aspx
      8. ↑ Lisa Shield. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.
      9. ↑ https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/health-and-wellness/2018/february/affection
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/adventures-in-dating/201403/the-surprising-benefits-kissing
      2. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/effective-condoms.html
      3. ↑ https://healthyhorns.utexas.edu/hs_lube.html
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-good-sex-matters/202204/how-talk-about-sex-your-partner
      5. ↑ https://www.southuniversity.edu/news-and-blogs/2016/08/the-psychology-behind-love-and-romance-70700
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-heart-healing/202208/6-keys-truly-healthy-intimate-relationships
      7. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/sexual-orientation.html
      8. ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/safer-sex-guidelines
      9. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/drugs/9404-condoms

      About This Article

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 697,450 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement