How to Get a Fresh Start in Life

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Start your life over when you feel stuck or stagnant
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Are you feeling stuck in your life? Do you want to start over and make some changes? Starting over can be scary, but you deserve the life you want, and that life is within reach. We talked to professional life coaches and self-improvement experts to show you how to start fresh, build habits to live the life you want, learn from your past, and recognize when a change is what you need.

Starting Over in Life

  1. Reflect on your past mistakes and successes.
  2. Identify your values and what’s important to you.
  3. Make some life goals to work toward.
  4. Surround yourself with supportive friends, or a life coach.
  5. Don’t wait to change your life, now is the best time.
  6. Celebrate your progress and forgive yourself for mistakes.
  7. Stay open-minded, humble, and willing to try new things.
Section 1 of 5:

Starting Fresh

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  1. Thinking about the meaning of your life is one of the first major steps toward making big changes. Studies show that people who have a purpose are more resilient and confident. [1] Ask yourself what you live for, or what you want to live for, and use that as your compass in everything you do. Empowerment coach Nicolette Tura says, “if it's not clear for you, it's okay,” but it’s still worth thinking about. [2]
    • Questions to ask yourself: What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? What are you passionate about? What makes you feel like you matter? Is it worth staying in your current life? What drives you? Where do you want to be 10 years from now?
    • Think about what truly satisfies your life and makes you feel like you are making a difference and make that the core of your new life.
    • Your purpose doesn’t have to be big or profound. If you love nature, maybe your purpose is spending as much time in nature as you can, or getting a job that helps you protect nature.
  2. A goal is a game plan for how exactly you’re going to change your life. When you set your goals , make sure they line up with your purpose and values. Make them achievable, and consider setting them up in short chunks. If you set an unrealistic goal, you’ll just feel crummy when you fall short of it. [3]
    • Break big goals into short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals. Write them down and put them somewhere where you can see them daily (e.g., a refrigerator door or stuck to your bedroom mirror).
    • It also helps to organize your life . Make a schedule and stick to it. Otherwise, you’ll just end up pushing your goals further and further back.
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  3. 3
    Surround yourself with people who support your vision and dreams. Your social scene might be holding you back from making the change you want. When you’re with people who don’t want the same things as you, you’re less likely to make that first step. Go out and meet new people and find like-minded allies. Having friends who want the same things as you is great support and motivation. [4]
    • Look for allies in places that align with your wants. For example, if you want to be more physically fit, join a sports club or mingle at the gym.
  4. Do something different and surprise yourself; you'll probably learn something you didn't know about who you are and what you can do. [5] Expanding your horizons this way is key to learning, growing, and discovering who you really are. New things can be scary, but staying stagnant and never growing is even scarier.
    • Go on a trip to some place you've never been. Start learning a language . Take up a new sport or exercise, whether it be gymnastics, kick boxing or cycling.
    • You might fail, but that’s okay! It’s not the end of your path. You can still keep going and trying. Even if you don’t, you’ll have learned something new about yourself.
  5. 5
    Relocate, if you think it’d help. Sometimes a fresh start means a new city or town, or just a new home in the same town. Changing your surroundings can help you change your perspective. Consider moving , but remember that a change of scenery won’t automatically change you as a person—that’s something that takes more effort and practice. [6]
    • You might also just need a vacation! Get away for a week or two, then come back and see how you feel before uprooting your life.
  6. Starting over and making progress doesn’t look like a straight line. Sometimes, you’ll fall into old habits, or things will seem hopeless, but it’s only temporary. That’s why it’s important to celebrate your little victories, and look at the big picture, not just get stuck on a few bad days.
    • When you notice progress, celebrate it! If you’ve lost weight, for example, make yourself a nice healthy meal. A reward is a huge help in moving forward.
    • Avoid moments of weakness by removing the temptation. Delete your ex’s number so you don’t text them, or buy healthy snacks instead of junk food, for example.
    • Having moments of weakness is common. We all stumble and vacillate between what is best for us in the future and what is easy right now. Challenge your "now" and replace it with your vision for your life in the long term.
  7. There’s no better time than the present to make a change. You don’t need to wait for a new year, or any other occasion. You also don't need to validate your choices to make a change in your life. It’s tempting to tell everyone you’re starting over, but announcing it is just an easy way to feel like you’re doing it without actually changing anything. Remember that only you need to feel comfortable with your choices and decisions, not other people. [7]
    • Feel free to tell close friends, or to have someone hold you accountable, but don’t just post your plan to social media and then forget all about it.
    Sheryl Sandberg, Bestselling Author and Philanthropist

    When starting over, begin by letting go of who you used to be and what no longer serves your higher purpose. Make space for the new identity waiting to emerge, not by erasing your history, but by no longer letting it dictate your future. What matters now is who you choose to become.

  8. 8
    Consider getting a life coach to help you make changes. Starting over isn’t always a walk in the park, and it’s not always easy to know where to go, or how. Life coach Tracey Rogers tells us that “a life coach can be really beneficial because at least you have number one an outside objective perspective, that can keep you focused.” Their job is to help you live better, and you might decide it’s worth it. [8]
    • A life coach can also be a valuable ally when your friends or family don’t understand or approve of your life changes.
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Section 2 of 5:

Building Life-Changing Habits

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  1. When it comes down to it, all we have is the here and now. We can make plans, or live in the past, but everything that matters is happening right now! Don’t let life pass you by. Take frequent breaks to look at the world around you and appreciate where you are . [9]
    • Do a mindfulness exercise: Ask yourself what you see, feel, hear, taste, and smell to ground yourself in the present.
    • Take one day at a time. Starting over can feel overwhelming if you’re focused on the progress you haven’t made yet. Instead, do what needs doing today, and trust that you’ll handle your future problems when they arise.
  2. Tura says not to take things too seriously, and don’t be afraid to fail. [10] The biggest enemy to growth is thinking you’re already perfect. You might know a whole lot, or have lots of experiences, but once you think you know it all, you stop evolving and start stagnating. Open your mind, and accept that other people may have more answers than you do, at least when it comes to certain things. [11]
    • Humility also means doing things because you want to do them, not because you want to impress someone.
    • When you try something new, approach it with a growth mindset. You’re starting from scratch, but you have everything to gain.
  3. Rogers tells us that asking for help is one of the best tool we have when we’re starting over. [12] You may not have all the answers, but other people have found some of their own, so take advantage of that! Ask for advice from a friend, or ask your family to help you move. You have allies, and you’re not in this alone.
    • Needing and asking for help doesn't make you weak, but instead makes you smart and resourceful. Everyone has different skills and no man is an island. [13]
  4. Tura says that “making sure your wellness is being taken care of—weight, hygiene nutrition,” is key to living your best life. [14] When you feel physically good, you’ll feel mentally ready for anything. Taking care of your body is the first step to finding the new and improved version of yourself.
    • Make sure you’re getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day, and sipping on water from morning to night.
    • Eat a balanced diet that includes carbs, proteins, veggies & fruits, and grains each day.
    • Aim to get 7-8 hours of sleep each night to stay well-rested.
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Section 3 of 5:

Learning from Your Past

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  1. You can't start over in your life if you're still holding onto the past. Whether that be a relationship, job, family or other situation, life coach Lucy Yeh tells us you need to accept what has happened. [15] If you don’t learn from the past, you’ll just end up repeating it, so don’t just toss it away altogether.
    • Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean forgiveness or understanding. It just means that you have realized something has happened, you acknowledged it, and you are ready to move on from it.
  2. Disaster happens to everyone, and everyone makes mistakes. It’s unavoidable. What makes a good person, though, is how they decide to move forward. Remember that each failure is an opportunity to learn, grow, and build something new. [16]
    • The lessons you are to learn won't be obvious; you instead have to discover what your life is telling you.
    • For example, if you suffered a terrible illness but survived, then you’ve learned how strong and resilient you are, even though it was tough, and that confidence is invaluable.
  3. You can't just "quit life", so instead of getting down when things aren't working out as planned, ask yourself, "What is or was working in my situation or circumstance?" [17] Make a list of things you want to take into your new life, and a list of things you want to leave behind.
    • Write it all down. Keep notes to yourself about your successes, even the small ones. Write every night about something that went well that day. Focusing on the positive helps attract more of it!
    • Then ask yourself how you can execute on those things. For example, if you want to quit smoking, you might make a plan to start chewing nicotine gum as a first step.
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Section 4 of 5:

Signs it’s Time to Change

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  1. 1
    You feel restless or bored. Sometimes, you might feel like a tiger pacing back and forth in a cage. You don’t know what to do with yourself or how to spend your time. You’re unfulfilled, but you probably don’t know it. This is a clear sign that you’re not living the life you deserve, and that it’s time to make some changes. [18]
    • Often, we mistake material things, like buying products, as a purpose, but your life’s purpose is more complex and emotional than that.
  2. 2
    You don’t know your own values. You might do things that confuse you, or you might not know why you did something that hurt you or someone else. Life coach Camber Hill says that, “in order to really have a rich experience being alive, one has to have self respect.” [19] That means that you’ve lost sight of the most important value—appreciating yourself—and your other values have gone away with it.
    • When you live a life according to firm values—charity, generosity, understanding, etc.—you feel more fulfilled and certain of where you’re headed.
  3. 3
    You’re always stressed or unhappy. If you feel like every day is a struggle and that happiness is rarer than unhappiness, it’s probably time to take a step back and reevaluate your life. [20] You might have the wrong priorities, or maybe you took a wrong turn somewhere. In any case, the life you're living now is unsustainable.
    • Ask yourself what the source of your unhappiness is, and what it’d take to make you truly happy.
  4. 4
    You’re not making any progress. You might be clinging to old habits or lifestyles that just don’t serve you, and it’s time to let go and start over. [21] It’s easy to lose sight of your goals, or to fall back into a routine that isn’t getting you anywhere, and when this happens, it can feel like life is a treadmill—you’re moving your legs but not getting anywhere. It’s likely time to set new goals and get to work.
  5. 5
    You feel change calling you. Sometimes, change just calls to us, and we’re not sure why. You might feel suddenly motivated to learn something new, or to see a new city, or to try a new way of life. [22] It might not be worth blowing up your current life to change it, but it’s definitely worth trying new things to see where that voice leads you.
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Section 5 of 5:

Is it ever too late to start over?

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  1. No! Anyone can start over, any time. You’re never too old to start over, and it’s never too late. There are people out there who switch careers in their 50s. [23] Some artists start painting in their 60s, and authors start writing in their 70s. You can make a change anytime you want, you just have to have the courage and motivation to follow through with it!
    • Plus, the later you start over, the more experience you have to work with. If you start over in your 50s, you’ve learned a whole lot more than when you were 18, or 30.
    • It also doesn’t matter where you are in life, whether you have money or don’t, or who you are right now. If a new life is what you want, it’s yours to take, but you have to chase it!

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I loosen up and get over my past?
    Lucy Yeh
    Career & Life Coach
    Lucy Yeh is a Human Resources Director, Recruiter, and Certified Life Coach (CLC) with over 20 years of experience. With a training background with Coaching for Life and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) at InsightLA, Lucy has worked with professionals of all levels to improve the quality of their careers, personal/professional relationships, self marketing, and life balance.
    Lucy Yeh
    Career & Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    It really helps if you can push yourself to live in the moment. One antidote is to start playing! Do fun things, goof off, and engage in things that stimulate you. Play is a great way to wake yourself up, pass time, and get more in touch with who are.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Yes No
    Not Helpful 9 Helpful 12
  • Question
    Why do I feel like it's harder to start over as I get older?
    Lucy Yeh
    Career & Life Coach
    Lucy Yeh is a Human Resources Director, Recruiter, and Certified Life Coach (CLC) with over 20 years of experience. With a training background with Coaching for Life and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) at InsightLA, Lucy has worked with professionals of all levels to improve the quality of their careers, personal/professional relationships, self marketing, and life balance.
    Lucy Yeh
    Career & Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    As an adult, all of that "adulting" can really wear you out. It's easy to get caught up in the boring stuff and lose your sense of who you are. Remember, it's never too late to shake yourself out of that and do something that's more fulfilling.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 7 Helpful 14
  • Question
    How can I feel more fulfilled?
    Lucy Yeh
    Career & Life Coach
    Lucy Yeh is a Human Resources Director, Recruiter, and Certified Life Coach (CLC) with over 20 years of experience. With a training background with Coaching for Life and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) at InsightLA, Lucy has worked with professionals of all levels to improve the quality of their careers, personal/professional relationships, self marketing, and life balance.
    Lucy Yeh
    Career & Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Perform small, random acts of kindness. Put change in a stranger’s expired meter, or pay for the person behind you when you get your morning coffee. Even something as small as grabbing a can off a high shelf in the grocery store for someone can have a profound impact. Kindness spreads joy throughout the world and you're sure to feel more fulfilled if you do this.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3827458/
      2. ↑ Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.
      3. ↑ https://actionforhappiness.org/take-action/set-your-goals-and-make-them-happen
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/making-good-friends
      5. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/10/30/1049098913/learning-new-skills-tips
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/202101/should-you-move-new-locale
      7. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/mental-shifts-to-stop-caring-what-people-think-of-you
      8. ↑ Tracey Rogers, MA. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
      9. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
      1. ↑ Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ethics-everyone/201206/humility
      3. ↑ Tracey Rogers, MA. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
      4. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/manage-social-support
      5. ↑ Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.
      6. ↑ Lucy Yeh. Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 21 November 2019.
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-disaster-strikes-inside-disaster-psychology/202104/why-its-hard-to-learn-from-our
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/surviving-tough-times.htm
      9. ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/feeling-restless
      10. ↑ Camber Hill. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.
      11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201001/10-ways-and-reasons-you-can-start-over
      12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/reinvent-yourself/201412/what-it-takes-to-let-go-and-start-over
      13. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/behavioral-health/healthy-lifestyle-changes
      14. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brainstorm/200910/starting-over-at-age-37

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you want to start over in your life, start by taking note of your past failures and successes so you can decide what you want to change and stay the same. Once you've thought about that, try to discover your purpose going forward so you have a clear idea of what you’re aiming for. For example, do you want to teach yoga, be a professional singer, or help people change their own lives? Once you’ve decided on your purpose, set small, actionable goals for yourself that will help you achieve your vision. You should also accept that you’ll make mistakes along the way, but this is important to learning and growing as a person. For more tips, including how to celebrate the progress you make in your new life, read on!

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