This article was co-authored by Kate Dreyfus
and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano
. Kate Dreyfus is a dedicated Holistic Love Coach, Holistic Empowerment Coach, Heart-Centered Expert, Intuitive Healer, Workshop Facilitator, and Owner of Evolve & Empower. She has more than ten years of experience supporting her clients successfully entering exclusive, romantic relationships within the USA, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Europe. Kate is devoted to helping others through personal growth and transformation, success in dating and romance, and healing and rebuilding after a breakup. She is also a member of The Biofield Institute, the Healing Touch Professional Association, and the Energy Medicine Professional Association. Kate holds a BA in Psychology from San Francisco State University.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Wish you could get even closer to your lover? Asking them interesting and romantic questions will encourage your partner to speak from their heart. In this article, we’ll walk you through a wide variety of creative conversation starters that will enhance intimacy and help you learn more about each other.
Steps
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This challenge teases out some intimate details. The short time frame puts your S.O. on the spot and invites them to consider the moments that shaped them the most. You’ll learn more about how they see the world and their past, and you’ll get to hear how they repackage their experience into a quick summary. [1] X Research source
- Everyone wants to be seen, heard, and accepted for who they are. Showing genuine interest makes the other person feel like you care about them, and lets them know that you want to get to know them better. [2]
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Expert Source
Kate Dreyfus
Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 22 November 2021.
- Everyone wants to be seen, heard, and accepted for who they are. Showing genuine interest makes the other person feel like you care about them, and lets them know that you want to get to know them better. [2]
X
Expert Source
Kate Dreyfus
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Make yourself the topic and learn about your standout traits. When the spotlight’s on you, it’s actually just a fun and sweet moment to romance your partner again. Listen to them gush about your wonderful traits—that way, you can keep playing them up. [3] X Research source
- Feel free to answer this question yourself, too. Move beyond the surface compliments and share why you like them on a deeper level. [4]
X
Expert Source
Kate Dreyfus
Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 22 November 2021.
- Feel free to answer this question yourself, too. Move beyond the surface compliments and share why you like them on a deeper level. [4]
X
Expert Source
Kate Dreyfus
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A bit of fun tension can really boost your chemistry. While it’s likely that you share a lot in common, you probably also enjoy each other’s company because you help each other see the world in a whole new light. Look for at least one or two ways you challenge one another and embrace that!
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See if they’re more influenced by memories or possibilities. Maybe they wish they could’ve tweaked how their life turned out. On the other hand, maybe they’re interested in what’s in store for them. Either way, you’ll pick up on what matters most to them. [5] X Research source
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If they paint a picture of this, you’ll know how to treat them. Maybe they like to start off the day with a strong cup of coffee or some soft piano music. While your lover gets carried away imagining their ideal schedule, you can take notes. [6] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good in Action An initiative by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center promoting science-based practices for a meaningful life Go to source
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This gives you some fun insight on how they see the world. Astrology—some live by it while others laugh it off. Wherever either of you stand, you can have a fun discussion about horoscopes, destiny, and the stories you tell about yourselves. You’ll either spark a deep discussion or a playful debate.
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You’ll get a taste of their ideal self and their favorite platform. If they can’t imagine even getting that much attention, they’re probably super humble. Still, see if they’ll at least chat about any glossy pages they like the most! If they’re totally fine in the spotlight, you’ll get to learn what they’d like to be famous for.
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Check if you’re a main attraction in that long-term plan. If they bring up a lot of milestones that involve you, you can be sure that you factor into their future. They might just focus on their own personal goals, too—if that’s the case, just be patient and make sure your relationship’s pace works for you.
Expert Q&A
Tips
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References
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a32618/36-questions-fall-in-love/
- ↑ Kate Dreyfus. Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer. Expert Interview. 22 November 2021.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/want-to-be-close-to-someone-ask-these-36-questions#6
- ↑ Kate Dreyfus. Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer. Expert Interview. 22 November 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/open-gently/201310/36-questions-bring-you-closer-together
- ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/36_questions_for_increasing_closeness