How to Impress Your Boyfriend’s Parents When You First Meet

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Plus, how long you should wait before meeting them
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Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a great way to take your relationship to the next level. But if the idea of meeting his parents makes you shiver in fear, you’re not alone! While it can feel nerve-wracking, there’s no reason to worry—there are plenty of things you can do to win over your boyfriend’s parents. Check out our comprehensive guide and helpful expert tips from a marriage therapist, a professional matchmaker, and even a wardrobe consultant to help you impress your boyfriend’s parents when you meet them for the first time.

How to Meet Your Boyfriend’s Parents

Get some background info about them beforehand and dress to impress. Bring a small gift and arrive on time. Offer them a few compliments and avoid inappropriate behavior, like drinking too much and engaging in PDA, to make a good impression.

Section 1 of 5:

Preparing to Meet Your Boyfriend’s Parents

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  1. Ask about the dynamic between his parents and what they’re like. Do they live together still, or are they divorced? Does he have step-parents? Is his family super strict, or do they like to joke around and have fun? Getting some background knowledge will help you feel more confident when it comes time to actually meet up. [1]
    • You can also ask your boyfriend about some good conversation topics to talk about when meeting his parents . For instance, maybe his dad is super into fly fishing, or his mom is a painter. You can prepare some questions in your head beforehand to show an interest in their lives.
    • Ask about his parents’ culture, too. If it’s different from yours, there may be rules you need to follow so you don’t offend them.
    • Certified professional matchmaker Shana Tibi agrees that understanding “cultural norms, cultural expectations, and religious norms is important. Know what's going to happen at the meeting—is it going to be a meal, or are you going to a family event? Understand as much about what's going to happen before you get there, so you feel comfortable and prepared.” [2]
  2. When dressing to meet your boyfriend’s parents , put on something that makes you feel comfortable and confident. Take note of the location, too—if you’re going to a 5-star restaurant, you might wear something a little nicer. Stay away from ripped jeans or anything short enough that you’d wear it on a night out, since that can feel a little too informal. If you aren’t sure what to wear, ask your boyfriend for his input. [3]
    • If you have tattoos or piercings, it’s up to you whether or not you want to cover them up or leave them as-is. If you aren’t sure, ask your boyfriend how his parents might feel about them.
    • Keep in mind that first impressions are lasting impressions, so you'll want to look your best to represent yourself in the best way possible.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 694 wikiHow readers what they thought would help make the best first impression with in-laws, and 50% of them said dressing well and grooming yourself. [Take Poll] This is a good idea when you're meeting your boyfriend's parents, too.
    • Wardrobe Consultant Taissha G. LaReau says that “You want to look polished and put together. You don't want to show too much skin, but you also don't want to wear clothing that doesn't represent your personality. If you wear something more casual, cardigans always look polished and put together. Mixing comfort with formality is a great option.” [4]
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  3. Go out for dinner or grab some coffee together. That way, no one is pressured to host, and you can leave whenever you want to. Plus, going out for a meal or coffee sets up a clear beginning, middle, and end, so there won’t be an awkward conversation about when it’s time to leave. [5]
    • You might not be able to choose the location, and that’s okay. If his parents want you to come over for dinner or head to your place, that’s totally fine!
    • Try to meet his parents one-on-one before you meet the rest of his family. Although his aunts, uncles, and cousins might be dying to meet you, seeing everyone all at once can be a little overwhelming.
    • Marriage therapist Omar Ruiz, LMFT, says, “If meeting at a local restaurant, have enough funds to be able to cover the meal. Depending on his parents, they might respect you just for offering to pay for the meal, but might say ‘No, we have this covered’ or ‘We might split the cost.’ It’s about making a good impression.” [6]
  4. If you’re meeting them at their home, a gift is a nice gesture. If you want to, grab a small bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers to give to them when you arrive. It’s a nice touch, and it will make a lasting impression that they’re sure to remember for a long time. However, if you’re meeting at a restaurant or a coffee shop, a gift probably isn’t necessary. [7]
    • If you really aren’t sure what to buy, just ask your boyfriend. Keep things simple, and don’t spend a ton of money.
    • Other good gifts include a box of chocolates , a small plant , a candle , or a gift basket . If you know what their favorite hobbies are, you can get them something small they can use. For example, if they garden, bring a gardening tool they can use or a small herb garden for the kitchen.
  5. Being punctual is one of the ways to impress your boyfriend’s parents (and it’s just polite). Do your best to show up on time so you don’t keep your boyfriend’s parents waiting. If you find yourself running late, call your boyfriend or his parents and offer your sincerest apologies as you rush to get there. [8]
    • If you can, try to show up with your boyfriend. That way, you don’t run the risk of getting there before he does. Plus, he can give you a pep talk on the way there!
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Section 2 of 5:

Introducing Yourself When Meeting His Parents

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  1. 1
    Smile, introduce yourself by name, and shake their hand. Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is like meeting anyone else you wish to be polite to. Look them in the eye, remember to smile (and relax), and introduce yourself by name. Let them know how happy you are to meet them, and offer them a chance to introduce themselves right back. [9]
    • For example, say, “Hi–I’m [Name]. It’s so lovely to finally meet you! You can also say, “It’s wonderful to meet you. My name is [Name].”
    • If they’re hosting you at their home, you can include things like “Thank you for having me,” along with a compliment about where they live.
    • Initially, your boyfriend may want to introduce you to them himself, so check with him beforehand. Once he does, go ahead and introduce yourself in the same way you normally would.
    • If you brought them a small gift, offer it to them after you’ve both introduced yourselves.
  2. 2
    Be authentic and show gratitude. Avoid trying to come across as someone you’re not. Show how much you appreciate meeting them and how excited you are to get to know them better. When they see how polite and thankful you are the moment they meet you, you’re sure to make a great first impression on them. More ideas on how to introduce yourself to his parents are ahead: [10]
    • “Hi, I’m [Name]. I’m so excited to meet you both. [Boyfriend’s Name] has told me so much about you.”
    • “Hi, I’m [Name]. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you both.”
    • “It’s so nice to meet you! I’m [Name]. I’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about you.”
    • “Hello, I’m [Name]. [Boyfriend’s Name] always speaks so highly of you both.”
    • Avoid chatter or nervous conversation upon first meeting them. You have plenty of time to get to know each other, so try not to come across too strong when introducing yourself.
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Section 3 of 5:

Making Conversation With His Parents

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  1. Talk to them about their jobs, their friends, and their hobbies. Even if you’re nervous, this is a great way to start a conversation and get to know them more. Plus, they’ll appreciate that you came prepared with a few talking points! You could ask things like the following: [11]
    • “What do you two like to do on the weekends?”
    • “So, Mr. Mavel, I hear you’re into woodworking? How’s that going?”
    • “Jeremy told me you like to paint! What are you working on right now?”
    • “Mrs. Johnson, I’ve heard you spend lots of time helping the community. I’d love to hear more about it!”
    • “I know you’re both great cooks, and I can’t wait for our dinner tonight. How did you both get into cooking?”
  2. This is always a good way to have a fun, lively conversation. Put your boyfriend in the hot seat by asking his parents about what he was like as a kid. If they have any funny stories to share with you, you can all have a good chuckle over what your boyfriend used to get into. Try asking something like the following: [12]
    • “Was Chris always this funny? I feel like he must have been the class clown.”
    • “Did Robert ever give you any trouble as a child?”
    • “What was Danny like when he was little?”
    • “I know Bill moved around a lot as a kid. I’d love to hear about some of the places you’ve lived.”
    • “What’s your favorite memory of James growing up?”
    • Keep in mind that if your boyfriend is easily embarrassed or doesn’t like talking about the past, you might want to stay away from this topic. If you aren’t sure, ask your boyfriend about it before you all meet up.
  3. Talk about their taste in dinner or how they raised their son. You could praise their choice in restaurants, thank them for meeting you, or talk highly about how supportive parents they are. The nicer things you can say to them, the more they will like you. Stick to one or two compliments in your conversation so you don’t go overboard. Say something like the following: [13]
    • “Dinner was delicious. You two have great taste.”
    • “I’m so lucky to have Zack. You two really raised him right!”
    • “I can’t believe what a gentleman Sean is. You’re such wonderful parents.”
    • “Your home is so warm and inviting. I feel so comfortable here.”
    • “You’re both so cute together. It’s easy to see how in love you are.”
  4. They’ll probably be interested in getting to know you. Be prepared to talk about your job, your hobbies, and anything you like to do for fun. They might also ask you about your family or where you grew up, too. Be honest, but try to keep things mostly G-rated, too. [14]
    • As you chat with his parents, try to avoid swearing or oversharing. Since you’re meeting them for the first time, be sure to be polite and keep your answers respectful.
    • You might also have to answer questions about your relationship or how committed you are to your boyfriend. If you ever feel uncomfortable, lean on your boyfriend for support, and let him handle the hard-to-navigate answers.
  5. These touchy subjects are probably best saved for later. It’s fine to talk about your opinions once you get to know his parents, but the first meeting isn’t the time or place. If the conversation starts heading that way, either change the subject yourself or look to your boyfriend to steer you away from the topic. [15]
    • If his parents ask about your political or religious beliefs, you can be honest. However, try to be respectful, since they might have differing views than you.
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Section 4 of 5:

Things to Remember When Meeting His Parents

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  1. 1
    Follow any family rules. If you’re spending time in their home, be sure to pay attention to any ground rules or preferences they express. If they like guests to remove their shoes before entering, do so. If they don’t like conversations at the dinner table that are too personal or risqué, keep talking points light and innocuous. If they say grace or offer a prayer before dinner, try your best to follow along, even if you’re not religious or knowledgeable about their culture. They might prefer that you turn off or silence your cell phone while eating. [16]
    • Make sure to ask your boyfriend about any particular family rules beforehand, so you’re not surprised by them if they come up.
  2. If you’re in their home, help set the table or clean up. Some parents might not take you up on your offer, but it shows that you’re willing to pitch in. You could also help wash dishes or even cook part of the meal if his parents don’t mind! Helping out like this shows that you’re part of the family, not just an observer. Say something like the following: [17]
    • “Do you need any help clearing up? I can grab some of these dishes.”
    • “I don’t want to leave you with all these dishes! How about I wash and you dry?”
    • “Mrs. Torrence, would you like any help in the kitchen?”
    • “I can serve dessert and help make coffee if you’d like!”
    • “Don’t worry about setting the table. I can do it to save time, if you don’t mind me doing so.”
  3. It’s not hard to make your boyfriend’s parents love you if you make their son happy. Overall, focus on getting to know his parents, and don’t worry too much about impressing them. As long as you can show them that you and their son are a good fit, they’re probably going to like you! [18]
    • If you’re in a more serious relationship, you’re probably going to see his parents a lot. The more you can be yourself, the easier your relationship will be over time.
    • Tibi agrees that “when you meet somebody’s family, absolutely still stay true to yourself. You don't want to completely change yourself to meet someone's family, but at the same time, you also want to be respectful of possible different cultures.” [19]
  4. 4
    Avoid drinking too much. Whether meeting at a restaurant or his parents’ home, it’s best to drink moderately or not at all. If they offer you wine or a drink at dinner, you can accept, but stick to 1-2 drinks throughout the night so you don’t get too relaxed around them and say something inappropriate. If you decide to avoid drinking altogether, politely decline their offer by saying something like, “Thank you so much. I won’t this time, because I’m driving.”
    • If you’re sober and his parents offer you alcohol without knowing, politely let them know that you don’t drink. They should respect your decision and not make you feel awkward about it in any way.
    • Likewise, if you know one or both of his parents are recovering alcoholics, don’t bring wine or drink alcohol in their presence unless your boyfriend has told you they’re absolutely ok with it. You can clear up any ambiguities here by speaking to your boyfriend ahead of time.
  5. 5
    Go with the flow. Be open to whatever they have planned for the visit. If they want to walk around together and do some shopping after a coffee date, and have invited you and your boyfriend to come along, join them (if you have time). Avoid being high maintenance; this means don’t be difficult on purpose when you’re meeting with them. How to behave in front of your boyfriend’s parents means avoiding anything that forces them to work harder to make you happy. Being polite, open, and easygoing will help you enjoy the visit more. [20]
    • If you have to take a call, apologize and step out for a moment.
    • If you have a hard stop, let them know it was so wonderful to meet them, thank them for the visit, and let them know you look forward to spending time with them again.
    • Tibi goes on to say, “Keep it lighthearted. You don't need to tell them your entire life story in the first meeting. Bring your best self. Know what you're going to get into and keep it fun.” [21]
  6. Public displays of affection are best left at home. When you’re with your boyfriend’s parents, you two can hold hands or share a quick hello kiss on the lips. Stay away from any heavy petting or prolonged kissing, as that could make his parents feel uncomfortable. This may also result in his parents feeling like you’re hogging his time. It’s important to make sure his parents feel comfortable and can easily enjoy themselves in their son’s company, and yours. [22]
    • A good rule of thumb is to stay away from anything you wouldn’t do in front of your boss.
    • It’s perfectly fine to act warmly toward your boyfriend or use small gestures of affection, such as touching his back with your hand or occasionally holding his hand, when appropriate.
  7. 7
    Remember that they’re nervous too. It’s not only you or your boyfriend who may feel anxious about you meeting his parents. They also want to make a good impression on you and be sure you feel welcomed by them. Know that they probably have the best intentions and want to get to know you. Signs that your boyfriend’s parents like you include extending the visit, smiling or laughing, and actually expressing how great they think you are. Try to set your nerves aside, be yourself, and have a great time in their company. [23]
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Section 5 of 5:

How long should you wait to meet your boyfriend's parents?

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  1. There is no specific timeline for meeting your boyfriend’s parents. It all depends on factors that are unique to your relationship. If your relationship is getting serious or has been for a while, it may be a good time to make those introductions. Some other factors when deciding if it’s time to meet his parents follow: [24]
    • You’re in an exclusive relationship.
    • Your boyfriend knows your friends well.
    • You foresee a future together.
    • You’re both very comfortable around each other.
    • The idea of meeting his parents makes you excited in a positive way.
    • You trust each other completely.
    • Both he and you feel ready to take this step.

Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What if the parents don't like you?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    First impression are important, but they aren't everything. If you feel like his parents don't like you after your first meeting, you can still change their minds! Talk to your boyfriend about why they might be hesitant about you or what you could do differently next time. You can also ask your boyfriend if his parents truly don't like you or if they just take a while to warm up to people.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Yes No
    Not Helpful 4 Helpful 28
  • Question
    What if I don't speak the same language as them?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    You'll have to rely on your boyfriend to be a translator, or you could download a translator app on your phone. When you meet them, pay attention to your own body language: give them a hug when you first get there and smile at them a lot throughout the night. Eventually, you'll all be able to figure out how to communicate with each other.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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    Not Helpful 0 Helpful 11
  • Question
    I got together with my boyfriend last week but I really want to meet his parents. How do I approach that?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    Meeting the parents after only one week of dating is a little early. Usually, people wait until they've been together for a few months before introducing them to family. Try introducing your boyfriend to your parents first. Then, if that goes well, you can ask him about meeting his parents next.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201312/should-you-meet-your-partners-family
      2. ↑ Shana Tibi. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.
      3. ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/353189821_Meeting_Potential_Parents-In-Law_and_Introducing_a_Partner_to_Own_Parents_Prospective_and_Retrospective_Studies
      4. ↑ Taissha G. LaReau. Wardrobe Consultant & Stylist. Expert Interview. 19 Jan 2022.
      5. ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/family-meals-eat-together-thrive-together.aspx
      6. ↑ Omar Ruiz, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 14 October 2022.
      7. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/brain-gift-giving
      8. ↑ https://extension.uga.edu/publications/detail.html?number=C1042&title=time-management-10-strategies-for-better-time-management
      9. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/pre-marriage/parents-meeting-parents-for-the-first-time/
      1. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/pre-marriage/parents-meeting-parents-for-the-first-time/
      2. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2023/04/05/1168234924/advice-column-boyfriend-family-finances-talking-about-money
      3. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/category/conversation/
      4. ↑ https://hbr.org/2021/02/a-simple-compliment-can-make-a-big-difference
      5. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html
      6. ↑ https://www.pewresearch.org/journalism/2020/02/05/a-sore-subject-almost-half-of-americans-have-stopped-talking-politics-with-someone/
      7. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/17/fashion/weddings/tips-for-meeting-the-parents.html
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/relationship-help
      9. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
      10. ↑ Shana Tibi. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.
      11. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a13104838/meeting-the-parents/
      12. ↑ Shana Tibi. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.
      13. ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/what-is-respect-in-a-healthy-relationship/
      14. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/pre-marriage/parents-meeting-parents-for-the-first-time/
      15. ↑ https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/how-long-should-you-date-before-meeting-family/

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