What He Thinks when You Don't Text Him Back

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

There are a lot of reasons you might not text a guy back, but what is he thinking when this happens? No two guys are the same, and there’s a wide variety of thoughts he might have after you stop lighting up his phone screen. If a guy is interested in you, chances are he’ll be inspired to try even harder to get your attention. However, some might move on or give up after too much silence. To help you predict how he’ll react, we’ve put together a thorough list of what guys think when you don't text back. If you’re ready to jump inside the male mind, keep scrolling!


Things You Should Know

  • He might not worry too much about not hearing from you—he might just think you are busy and will get back to him when you can.
  • If you have a newer connection, or this behavior is new, he might think you are playing hard to get, texting another guy, or even ghosting him.
  • He might also feel frustrated, worried, or confused by your lack of response.
1

He thinks you’re busy.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It shows that he knows you’ve got your own, fulfilling life to live and that he’s not insecure or desperate. This is most guys’ first assumption—he’ll probably keep thinking this for a few hours or for a day. [1]
    • If you’ve had good communication up until now, he’s probably thinking you’ll get back to him when you have the time. [2]
    2. Advertisement
2

He’s trying to brush it off.

PDF download Download Article
  1. After a few hours, he’s probably telling himself things like “She’ll reply eventually” or “It’s not a big deal.” For some guys, it’s really not a huge deal. Others might start to get anxious or upset as time goes by. [3]
    • If you two don’t have a strong connection and he really doesn’t care about getting an answer, he might move on and start texting someone else.
3

He might think you’re playing “hard to get.”

PDF download Download Article
  1. He might think you’re trying to get him to chase you , or that you want him to think you’re aloof. If you left him hanging mid-conversation, he’ll suspect you planned to leave him wanting more. [4]
    • These days, we all know everyone has their phone on them 24/7. If you play “hard to get” too long, you might end up looking more rude than aloof.
    2. Advertisement
4

He’s worried you’re ignoring him because you’re upset.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Whether it’s true or not, he’ll probably text you or make a gesture to show he’s still interested and available. The longer you hold out, the more anxious and ready to prove himself he’ll be. [5]
    • A lot of humor and emotion gets lost over text. If you’ve never met in person, he may think you misunderstood him (it’s easy to do until you actually meet).
    • Right now, he’s probably rereading his messages trying to figure out what he said to put you off.
    • If you’re not really upset with him and still want to see him, you may have an awkward time explaining why you weren’t answering his texts.
5

He’s agonizing over whether to text again or not.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Everyone struggles with sending a “double text” now and then. On one hand, he might be eager to text you again and restart the conversation. On the other, he wants to avoid seeming desperate or needy. If he texts you again and you still don’t answer, he may resolve himself to wait you out or just give up. [6]
    • Some guys can go for a long time without texting again to protect their ego. He may try again in the future if he’s interested, but he’ll wait a long time.
    2. Advertisement
6

He’s just plain frustrated or confused.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s hard to feel like someone you like is slipping away, and he might start to develop hard feelings. If this happens, he’ll either express his frustration to you or just walk away. [7]
    • A lot of guys like to chase someone to some degree, but this excitement doesn’t last forever.
7

He’s telling himself you just didn’t get the message.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It might sound a little funny and delusional, but to him, it’s better than feeling like he’s the reason for the radio silence. He’s probably thinking things like “Maybe her phone is broken” or “My message must not have gone through!” [8]
    2. Advertisement
8

He suspects his texting style is boring to you.

PDF download Download Article
  1. He’ll do his best to initiate more interesting or exciting conversations—hello, jokes and memes!—to reel you back in. On a bigger scale, he'll think he has to be a more interesting or creative person to make you happy. [9]
    • If he’s extra insecure, he’ll spend a lot of time analyzing previous texts to see where you started losing interest or getting bored.
9

He might think he has to do all the work.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It seems like part of the chase at first, but always being the one to make plans or having to try repeatedly to get a text back gets old after a while. He may lose interest unless he really likes you. [10]
    2. Advertisement
10

He’s assuming you’re texting another guy.

PDF download Download Article
  1. He might jump to this conclusion if you’ve been communicating regularly and then you stop responding all of a sudden. He’ll assume there must be another guy involved out of anxiety. [11]
    • Sometimes, this is a protective thought. It’s easier for him to think the problem is you, some other guy, or dating apps and texting in general rather than himself.
11

He’s decided that you’re not interested anymore.

PDF download Download Article
  1. He’ll probably take the hint and move on if you continue to leave him on read or barely respond. If you’ve only been on one date or haven’t even met in person yet, chances are he won’t take it too personally.
    • When someone’s texting slows down dramatically, it’s a pretty universal sign for men and women that they’re losing interest or working their way to ghosting.
    • On the flip side, ghosting him might inspire him to try and endear himself to you even more. It all depends on the guy and your previous connection.
    2. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Tips

      • Not all guys react the same way when someone stops texting them. Use your judgment and knowledge of the person to decide whether this is a good strategy.
        Thanks
        Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0
      • If he seems genuinely worried about your safety (like if you say you’ll text him when you get home and you never do), it might be a good idea to break your silence so he isn’t too worried.
        Thanks
        Helpful 1 Not Helpful 2
      • If he’s a nice guy but you’re just not interested, consider sending a message like “Hey, it was really nice texting with you but I just don’t think we’re a match” rather than ghosting.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0


      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      13 Ways to Pleasure a Woman
      How to
      Talk Dirty
      115+ Heartfelt Sorry Messages & Quotes for a GF
      How to
      Answer the "What Do You Like About Me" Question (for Men)
      How to
      Tell if Someone Is Losing Interest over Text
      13 Signs Your Friends with Benefits Is Falling For You
      How to
      Make Your Boyfriend Go Crazy over You
      34 Common Relationship Pet Peeves
      How to
      Make a Sagittarius Man Miss You Like Crazy
      How to
      Answer "What Do You Like About Me"
      How to
      Prove You Love Him Other Than Saying "I Love You": 21 Cute Ways
      21 Ways to Be a Better Boyfriend: Everything You Need to Know
      How to
      Get your Boyfriend to Fall in Love with You
      Being the Little Spoon While Cuddling: Is It Better Than the Big Spoon?
      Advertisement

      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationship cues, check out our in-depth interview with Joshua Pompey .

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202002/is-the-person-youre-dating-playing-head-games-are-you
      2. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-to-play-hard-to-get
      4. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202208/the-problem-playing-hard-get
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202002/is-the-person-youre-dating-playing-head-games-are-you
      7. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/anger-management-therapy/
      8. ↑ https://www.spring.org.uk/2023/02/playing-hard-to-get.php
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202208/the-problem-playing-hard-get
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202208/the-problem-playing-hard-get
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201403/when-should-you-play-hard-get

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 173,060 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement