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INFJs are the counselors and advocates of the MBTI. Known for their great advice, emotional intelligence, and genuine support, INFJs can connect at some level with almost anyone. When it comes to romance, however, some personalities click with INFJ right away, while others require a little more work to pan out. Whether you’re an INFJ yourself or you’ve got your eye on one, we’ve created this guide to help you know which personalities catch INFJ’s interest. Keep reading for the lowdown!
Things You Should Know
- INFJs match best with people who can think big like them. It’s important for them to connect on both an emotional and intellectual level.
- INFJs don’t match as well with types that are more spontaneous and less emotionally in tune.
- INFJs are sensitive and long to be understood. A successful relationship with an INFJ requires patience and clear communication.
Steps
What INFJ Looks For in a Relationship
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1INFJs prefer deep and meaningful relationships. INFJs are attracted to authentic, honest people. This personality type loves seeing how others tick, taking time to understand their loved ones on a deeper, more emotional level.
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2INFJs like when others feel comfortable enough to share their troubles with them. If their partner opened up about their deepest fears or their childhood troubles, that would mean the world to an INFJ.
- INFJs love discussing ideas and imagining the future. They match well with other people who are comfortable rambling about theories, coming up with creative projects, or contemplating social issues.
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3INFJs prioritize good communication. INFJs hate being misunderstood. Although they may come across a bit cold, they are known as the Counselor because of how deeply they feel and care about the world around them. INFJs don’t like to be left wondering, as they can take lack of communication personally. [1] X Research source
- Passive aggression is also a no-go for INFJs.
- INFJs may shy away from sharing their own feelings, but they will share them when given the space and gentleness they require.
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4INFJs look for stability. INFJs prefer to take things slowly, thinking about relationships in the long term. They’d rather have a handful of meaningful moments than a lot of exciting moments. INFJs also steer away from spontaneity, preferring to plan their adventures.
- Spontaneity is not completely off the table, however. When an INFJ feels comfortable, they will be more willing to try new things.
Most Compatible Personalities
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1INTP. This pair is often called a “golden pair” given how well it matches. INTPs love INFJ’s warm and caring personality, as well as their intellect. INFJs love INTP’s confidence, smarts, and wit. They understand each other fundamentally and share values that involve their creativity and humanitarianism. [2] X Research source
- Compared to INFJs, INTPs tend to go with the flow. They don’t typically prefer the same rigid planning that makes INFJs more comfortable. A good combination of spontaneity and planning can balance each other out, however.
- Because INTPs tend to be more logical than emotional, sometimes they may come off as blunt or insensitive to an INFJ. To overcome this, INTPs can work to choose their words more carefully. INFJs can also seek to understand the INTP’s communication style and avoid taking too much personally.
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2ENFJ. INFJs and ENFJs have a lot of shared traits. These two can spend hours playing with ideas, whether it’s sharing their hopes for the future or imagining who would best survive a zombie apocalypse. Caring and loyal, their high levels of empathy also make understanding one another easy. [3] X Research source
- Where INFJs and ENFJs differ can still be a positive in the relationship. As extroverts, ENFJs can be the more talkative of the two. INFJs love to listen, however, making this a good balance as long as both get a chance to speak.
- An ENFJ’s extroversion can also help motivate an INFJ to try new things. Likewise, an INFJ can help slow down ENFJ and encourage them to be more introspective.
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3INFP. As a fellow introvert, INFPs understand the INFJ’s need for alone time. INFP and INFJ are also both known for their thoughtfulness, idealism, and supportiveness. [4] X Research source Both also want to connect on a deeper level and help their partner become the best they can be.
- One major desire of INFJ is to be understood. INFPs feel the same way. Because of this, this pair will work hard to see beyond the surface of the other and appreciate their small quirks. An INFJ will understand why an INFP rereads the same book, and an INFP will admire an INFJ’s love for 70s folk music.
- Where INFJs love to plan, INFPs can be more spontaneous. This might cause some friction, but it can also be a jumping off point for compromise. INFJ can bring some organization to INFP and INFP can help INFJ loosen up.
- They may not always see eye to eye on an issue, but INFJ and INFP are both strong at understanding different perspectives. When given enough time to process an issue and their emotions, this pair can handle conflict pretty easily.
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4INTJ. This personality acts as the logic to INFJ’s whimsy. While both love to discuss their theories and goals, INFJs tend to look at things emotionally, compared to INTJ’s rationality. This pair works well together, regardless. INFJ’s big heart and INTJ’s grounded logic can bring some incredible ideas to life.
- INFJ and INTJ personalities are known for being intellectual. Both may come off as aloof at first, but after getting to know one another, they can keep up with each other’s thought process.
- Where INFJs can get lost in their emotions and care for others, INTJ can get caught up in the hard facts and lose track of the human element. As a result, their differences act as complements. An INFJ can help remind an INTJ that sometimes things defy logic and INTJ can help INFJ be more objective.
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5ENTP. ENTPs are great at working to understand a lot of different people, which INFJs enjoy. Plus, ENTPs and INFJs are endlessly curious. Both will want to know the other’s backstory, their opinions, their habits, and so on. This pair will never run out of topics to explore and discuss.
- INFJs are more logical than other F types and ENTPs are more emotional than other T types. Although they may approach problems differently, they can usually understand the other’s perspective and come to a compromise.
- Although INFJs are feelers, sometimes they struggle to share their emotions. ENTPs’ more direct approach to conflict can come across as overwhelming, but they can also encourage an INFJ to express themself more openly.
- ENTPs can be a little scatterbrained and impulsive when it comes to decision making. INFJs can bring in some much needed organization to make this match work.
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6ENFP. These two personalities support those around them with kind words and actions. INFJs freely show their appreciation for their partner and ENFPs warmly reciprocate. Both also have big imaginations and caring hearts, meaning they can easily click when it comes to their values, sense of humor, and quirks. [5] X Research source
- When an INFJ is more comfortable with an ENFP, they can feel encouraged to attend more social events or try out more adventurous activities.
- On the other hand, an INFJ can help an ENFP slow down and consider themself more. A night in together can be positive for both INFJs and ENFPs.
Moderately Compatible Personalities
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1ENTJ. INFJs and ENTJs can see each other as they truly are. [6] X Research source ENTJ may not come across as warm despite their friendliness and desire to help, but INFJ can appreciate their big heart. Similarly, an INFJ may seem like a sensitive pushover, but an ENTJ can see their depth and strength.
- However, ENTJ’s more direct approach to conflict might be overwhelming to the more reserved INFJ. It’s not necessarily a deal breaker, however, as long as both work to understand the other’s communication style.
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2ESFJ. These two personality types are some of the most caring of the MBTI. Both value understanding and are willing to put in the time to care for each other on a deep level. These two will also respect each other’s social boundaries. [7] X Research source
- At the same time, ESFJ and INFJ are not always on the same wavelength. Where INFJ prefers to think about possibilities and concepts, ESFJ would much rather focus on the practical here-and-now. Since their focus is different, this can lead to conflict.
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3ISFJ. These two introverts understand each other's social needs. They also work well together, since INFJs bring their high-concept thinking and ISFJs iron out the details of their plans and projects. This pair may not fully get each other's thought processes, but they will try their best to get an understanding. [8] X Research source
- On the other hand, ISFJs and INFJs are both introverted feelers, meaning they feel their emotions very deeply but may struggle sharing them. Because of this, they might not share how they truly feel and allow conflict to fester.
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4INFJ. The double INFJ is an incredibly rare match. This pair will click given their similar values, the way they process information, their empathy, and their organizational skills. Since an INFJ craves understanding, where better to get it than from another INFJ? [9] X Research source
- Regardless, the similarities between this pair can leave them caught in their “bubble.” They may get caught up in how interesting an idea sounds and forget to consider the details or put it in action. As two introverts, this pair may also talk themselves out of socializing.
- INFJs are willing to listen to others, but don’t share as much. In a pairing with two INFJs, this can lead to a stalemate when it comes to conflict. Seeing how another INFJ works, however, may highlight some traits both can work on together.
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5ISFP. INFJs and ISFPs are both “people” people and love to know what makes the other think. Although they may be slow to open up to one another, they are both caring personalities that can recognize what the other needs.
- However, as a P type, ISFPs tend to be more spontaneous than INFJs. ISFPs are often looking for the next fun activity, and may not be seeking the deep emotional connection that INFJ prefers.
- ISFPs are less concerned with the abstract than INFJs. While INFJ may spend a lot of time thinking about the “why,” ISFP considers the “what” and would rather do some action sooner than later. They may share values but their different approaches to them may be confusing for the other.
Least Compatible Personalities
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1ESTP. An ESTP can be too different from an INFJ. Where INFJs prefer to stay home and do their hobbies, ESTP would rather go explore the city. INFJs want to connect on a deep level while ESTPs are here for fun. INFJ’s emotions can be confusing for ESTP, as can ESTP’s spontaneity for INFJ. [10] X Research source
- Opposites can attract. INFJs and ESTPs can still form a strong bond despite their differences. They often understand each other’s logic when they explain things, even if it’s not theirs. Plus, as opposites, they can bring out the best in one another and grow to be more understanding people.
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2ISTP. As two introverts, this pair can understand each other’s social needs. However, they differ in how they process information and their priorities, which can make overcoming conflict difficult. INFJ’s preference for structure can be stifling for an ISTP, and ISTP’s bluntness and stoicism can be unnerving for an INFJ. [11] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source
- If both partners put in effort to communicate , this relationship can still be successful. ISTPs should be more compassionate when they discuss issues with INFJs. Likewise, INFJs should speak up about their concerns, aiming to use more objective facts rather than focusing only on emotional impact.
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3ESTJ. These types tend to hold strong opinions. Because INFJ prioritizes emotions and ESTJ prioritizes logic, they can have trouble understanding how the other drew their conclusions. ESTJs also like to solve conflict quickly, but INFJs need time to process. [12] X Research source This can be another point of disconnect.
- Despite the potential communication issues, INFJ and ESTJ’s different perspectives can help round out their views of an issue. If the INFJ can express themself objectively and the ESTJ can give their partner time to process their emotions, this couple can thrive.
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4ESFP. ESFPs and INFJ may have trouble seeing eye to eye, given INFJ’s preference for seeing the big picture and ESFP’s desire to be in the moment. ESFPs can get frustrated with an INFJ’s overanalyzing, and INFJs can get exhausted when an ESFP gets bored and bounces between interests. [13] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source
- As the Entertainer, ESFPs are extremely extroverted. This can be overwhelming to the more aloof INFJ. However, since ESFPs are such open books, INFJs can stay fascinated since they love to read people.
- ESFP and INFJ are both F types, but one processes emotion passionately outward and the other quietly inward. Because of this, certain wording and nonverbal reactions can unintentionally hurt the other. ESFPs and INFJs should work to find a middle ground to handle conflict with less hurt feelings.
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5ISTJ. INFJs and ISTJs are both more aloof personalities. If they don’t communicate properly, they can end up misreading motives and projecting unfavorable traits on one another. Since INFJ hates being misunderstood, this can be a major issue.
- INFJs love to let their imagination run wild, and ISTJs prefer to be grounded more in reality. Because of this, this pair may struggle to find common interests to discuss. What makes one excited can bore the other. [14] X Research source
- Alternatively, their different approaches can help them draw more balanced conclusions than they would with more similar personalities. The INFJ can dream big and consider the impact while the ISTJ works on the details. They’ll also have no problem making plans to meet their goals.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWho is the ideal partner for an INFJ personality?Lauren Sanders is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder of Dating for the Soul. With over four years of experience, she specializes in helping singles find love. Lauren is also the author of Lipstick Faith: A Collection of Inspirational Writings and Life Lessons, You Deserve the World, Rainbows and Strawberries: 100 Devotions for the Brighter Side of Life, and Let's Go Outside Mommy. Lauren holds BS from Dillard University and a Masters from The University of North Georgia.They love to help others, so much so they may forget to help themselves. Therefore, INFJ personality types should search for someone who is aware of their tendency to neglect their own needs while tending to others. They need a person in their life who will help remind them that they are important as well, and that they must learn to balance their strong desire to “save the world” with self care as well.Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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Tips
- Keep in mind that the MBTI paradigm is just one way to view the world. While you may find the insights that you gain from it empowering, don't let yourself miss out on a great person because they don't fall into a specific category. Go out and explore what's true for yourself!Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-each-personality-type-handles-being-misunderstood/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-5FofD5zfA&ab_channel=PSYCH-OPsychology
- ↑ https://psychologia.co/enfj-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.mathiasway.com/how-infps-see-infjs/
- ↑ https://psychreel.com/enfp-vs-infj/
- ↑ https://personalitygrowth.com/infj-and-entj-compatibility-relationships-and-friendships/
- ↑ https://psychreel.com/esfj-and-infj/
- ↑ https://psychreel.com/isfj-compatibility-with-infj/
- ↑ https://oolipo.com/infj-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://psychologia.co/estp-and-infj/
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/ISTP-personality.html
- ↑ https://personalityconnect.com/2019/05/08/how-does-your-personality-type-deal-with-conflict/
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/esfp-personality.html
- ↑ https://psychreel.com/istj-and-infj-relationships/