How to Not Cry when a Teacher Shouts at You

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Getting shouted at by a teacher is never fun. Whether you did something to deserve the yelling or you feel that you're being treated unfairly, you probably do not want to break down and start crying. Luckily there are a few tricks you can use to help yourself stay calm and collected in these situations. If the problem with your teacher is ongoing, however, it's important to address the cause of the shouting.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Staying Calm and Holding Back Your Tears

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  1. It may not always be possible in school, but one of the best ways to prevent yourself from crying is to step away from the stressful situation, even for just a minute. If possible, excuse yourself to the bathroom or even to the other side of the room. You could also ask to go talk to your counselor. [1] If you get yelled at, don't run out of the classroom.
    • Never leave the classroom without permission. This will only make your teacher angrier with you.
  2. If you can't physically remove yourself from the situation, you can still remove yourself mentally from the stress. Focus your mind on something else to help you keep your cool while you're being yelled at. [2]
    • Try focusing on your breathing. [3] Inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply can help keep you calm, and actively thinking about your breathing can help temporarily take your mind off of the situation with your teacher.
    • Alternatively, you can try counting in your head or counting objects in the room, such as the floor or ceiling tiles.
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  3. If you feel like you're about to cry, try silently repeating some words of encouragement to yourself. This can help ignite your inner strength and keep you positive, so you'll feel much better about the situation and may not feel like crying anymore. [4]
    • You can use whatever words or phrase you want. Some examples are "I'll get through this" or "I'm strong and can deal with this situation."
    • You can also give yourself a little hug to comfort yourself.
  4. It is almost always a bad idea to yell back at your teacher, even if you have done nothing to deserve being yelled at. This will only make the situation more stressful, which will make it harder for you to stop yourself from crying. [5]
    • Instead of yelling back, your goal should be to deescalate the situation as much as possible so that the stress that causes you to want to cry goes away. Being cooperative and polite in response to your teacher's yelling is usually a great way to do this.
  5. If mental exercises aren't enough to keep you from crying, you may be able to stop oncoming tears by pinching the bridge of your nose. This will restrict the tear ducts, which may be enough to prevent yourself from crying. [6]
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Improving Your Relationship with Your Teacher

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  1. If your teacher yells at you a lot, the two of you may have some issues that you need to sort out. Ask your teacher if you can talk before or after class. This will give you the opportunity to discuss the reason for the shouting, and hopefully solve the underlying problem. [7]
    • If you feel your teacher is making unfair assumptions about you, say so, but do it in a diplomatic way instead of arguing. For example, you might say, "I get the feeling that you think I don't care about your class, but I really do."
    • If you don't know why your teacher is yelling at you, ask him or her to explain what expectations you are failing to meet.
  2. In some cases, your teacher may be yelling at you because you are failing to take responsibility for your own actions. You can solve this problem by admitting when you make mistakes and not making excuses. [8]
    • Never lie to your teacher.
    • If you do something wrong, simply apologize instead of making an excuse.
    • To make an apology sound more sincere, make sure you let your teacher know that you understand what you did wrong and that you will do your best not to do it again. For example, you might say, "I know that I was distracting the rest of the class by telling jokes, and I am sorry for that. I will try not to interrupt the class again."
  3. If you find that you are getting yelled at a lot for acting in a specific way, try to think of something you could do to help remove the temptation to act that way. Your teacher will likely appreciate the initiative you take in correcting your own behavior. [9]
    • For example, if you cannot stop talking to your friends in class, ask your teacher to move your seat so that you will not be tempted anymore.
  4. Everyone has different triggers that cause them stress. Try to notice the specific things that tend to cause your teacher to yell and shout, and then avoid doing those things. [10]
    • For example, some teachers may yell a lot when students talk out of turn, while other teachers may get more upset when students use their cell phones during class.
    • In some cases, stressful situations may cause your teacher to be more irritable. For example, if you notice that your teacher tends to yell a lot more right before a big test, try to be on your best behavior when you know a test is coming up.
  5. The best thing you can do to prevent your teacher from shouting at you in the future is to work hard to meet the classroom expectations. Every teacher is different, but you can get on almost any teacher's good side by behaving well and putting your best effort into your work.
    • Be polite and respectful of everyone in class.
    • Do your best academically, and do extra credit work if you're struggling.
    • Be on time and come to class prepared.
    • Offer to help out by collecting papers or stacking chairs.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Dealing with a Teacher Who's a Bully

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  1. Teachers can be bullies just like other students. Not all yelling and shouting should be considered bullying, however, so consider the situation carefully in order to determine whether the shouting goes beyond reasonable disciplinary measures. If it does, there is a chance your teacher may be bullying you. [11]
    • Think about the behavior that you displayed leading up to the shouting. If you were doing something dangerous or irresponsible, the shouting may be warranted. If you were just asking the teacher a reasonable question, the shouting may be bullying.
    • If a teacher insults or taunts you, this may be bullying.
    • Any kind of physical abuse is bullying and is completely unacceptable.
  2. If you're dealing with a teacher who yells at you for no reason, singles you out, or insults you, you need to tell your parents what is going on. [12] They may be able to talk to the teacher and help resolve the problem for you. If that doesn't work, your parents can be your advocates and help you figure out other ways to handle the situation. [13]
    • Be as specific as possible when detailing your teacher's actions. For example, instead of saying, "My teacher is mean to me," say something like, "My teacher called me stupid because I didn't understand the lesson." Giving clear examples will help your parents take you more seriously.
  3. If you and your parents are not able to resolve the bullying problems directly with your teacher, you may want to consider speaking with the school counselor or principal. [14] Try to start with the person to whom the teacher directly reports. In some cases, this might be the principal, but in other cases, it might be a senior teacher or the vice principal. [15]
    • You may choose to have your parents do this for you, or you may decide that you want to be involved in the conversation.
    • Instead of insulting the teacher, provide specific examples of the problems you are having with the teacher and explain how the teacher makes you feel.
  4. If the principal fails to help the situation and the bullying is severe enough that it is interrupting your ability to learn, you and your parents should take your complaints to a higher level. You can submit a formal complaint to the school board or the superintendent. [16]
    • It helps to provide some kind of proof with a formal complaint. If you have anything in writing that can demonstrate your teacher's bullying behaviors, make sure you keep it.
    • If your concerns are still not addressed, you may want to ask your parents about the possibility of switching schools.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I get my teacher to stop yelling at me?
    Katie Styzek
    School Counselor
    Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
    Katie Styzek
    School Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Do some deep breathing to get yourself through the moment. Then, try talking to your teacher a few hours later when you're both calm again. If that doesn't help, don't be afraid to ask to your parents or the school counselor for help.
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    Not Helpful 22 Helpful 37
  • Question
    Why do people cry when they get shouted at?
    Community Answer
    Some people are very sensitive to those sorts of things. Maybe you’ve noticed that the shy, quiet, well-behaved kids usually have the worst reactions (because they aren’t used to it), whereas a “class clown” just shakes it off.
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  • Question
    What do you do if your teacher had been yelling all year?
    Community Answer
    Do your best to figure out why the teacher is yelling and avoid behaviors that you know will push your teacher's buttons. If the yelling seems to be for no reason or is excessively harsh, you may be dealing with a bully teacher, in which case you should consider reporting the situation.
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      Tips

      • Remember that your teacher is human and is not perfect. Most teachers yell at students because they are stressed out, and they are usually not proud of it. [17]
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      • Everyone cries sometimes, so try not to be too embarrassed if you can't hold back your tears.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Come to the teacher with potential solutions, not just vague complaints. Like maybe suggest "I think moving my seat across the room could really help me stay more focused so I don't distract others." That shows maturity and accountability. Teachers respond better to students who offer constructive ideas to remedy situations themselves.
      • Quietly ask other students if they have experienced similar shouting issues. If it's not just you this teacher lashes out at unreasonably, there could be a bigger problem here that needs addressing. Getting accounts from several peers to back up your own can help build a more powerful case down the line.
      • Try to leave raw emotion out of serious discussions or confrontations with teachers. Just stick to giving factual examples of issues that have occurred, not dramatic interpretations that can weaken your credibility. It also helps prevent things from escalating unnecessarily on either side.
      • Carefully pick your battles when it comes to a shouting teacher. It's okay to let minor, isolated incidents go so you can save your mental energy. Fighting every little unreasonable outburst could just drain and stress you out. Focus action on patterns of major infractions instead.
      • Ask the teacher if you can switch seats to separate yourself from chatterbox classmates. Sitting right next to your loudest friends makes whispering way too tempting. Removing yourself from all that convenient side chatter can prevent issues before they even start.
      • If the shouting keeps happening regularly, consider discreetly recording it on your phone. This can provide proof later on if you need to report serious bullying. Just don't get caught with your phone out.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/growing-friendships/201308/helping-children-who-cry-easily
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/growing-friendships/201308/helping-children-who-cry-easily
      3. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/growing-friendships/201308/helping-children-who-cry-easily
      5. ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/6-ways-to-respond-to-your-boss-yelling-at-you-2015-8
      6. ↑ http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Stop-Crying-Controlling-Your-Emotions
      7. ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/6-ways-to-respond-to-your-boss-yelling-at-you-2015-8
      8. ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/6-ways-to-respond-to-your-boss-yelling-at-you-2015-8
      9. ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/6-ways-to-respond-to-your-boss-yelling-at-you-2015-8
      1. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
      2. ↑ http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/when-the-teacher-is-the-bully/
      3. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
      4. ↑ http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/when-the-teacher-is-the-bully/
      5. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
      6. ↑ http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/when-the-teacher-is-the-bully/
      7. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/teachers-who-bully?page=4
      8. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/teachers-who-bully?page=2

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      It can be really hard not to cry if a teacher shouts at you, but if you try to be strong, you can control it. Resist the urge to yell back, even if you really want to. Instead, take 3 or 4 deep breaths, and think only about your breathing for a few seconds. Then, find something else to mentally focus on, like counting the desks in the room or reading a poster on the wall until you calm down. In most cases, it isn't appropriate for a teacher to shout at you, so talk to an administrator at your school if it's happening frequently. For our reviewer’s tips on how to talk to your teacher about the problem, scroll down!

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