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As demands on time, energy and money grow over the years, you are likely to respond with anxiety. You may feel pressure to perform at school or work, be a good family member or provide for someone. However, stress and anxiety pose serious health risks, so developing a way to handle pressure and move on is extremely important.
Steps
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Realize when you are under pressure. Fidgeting, fast breathing, dizziness and angry outbursts are just some of the signs that stress is affecting you physically and mentally. Other signs of chronic stress may include: [1] X Research source
- Getting sick more often
- Feeling depressed
- Having aches and pains
- Dealing with digestive problems like constipation
- Performing poorly
- Making impulsive decisions
- Withdrawing from others
- Eating too much or too little
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Experiencing a lack of sex drive
- Reader Poll: We asked 1128 wikiHow readers about the most common signs that someone is stressed, and only 7% of them said self-medicating with food or alcohol . [Take Poll] Other signs, like having a quick temper or withdrawing, might be more common.
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Identify the source of pressure. You must be able to point out the stressors that are most affecting you in order for you to make positive change. Stressors can be external factors, such as your job, or internal factors like perfectionism. Consider if any of these common examples of external and internal stressors apply to your situation. [2] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Performance at work
- Performance at school
- Relationships (romantic and familial)
- Children
- Money troubles
- Perfectionism
- Rigid thinking
- Pessimism
- Chronic worrying
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Practice deep breaths . If you are feeling an immense amount of pressure, excuse yourself or grab a few minutes alone to calm yourself. Deep, diaphragmatic breaths can evoke your body's natural relaxation response and lower heart rate and blood pressure. [3] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source A few minutes of this exercise can bring about calm and recenter you to focus on managing any stressful situations.
- Deep breathing can be done anywhere. If you are a beginner, however, aim to find a quiet spot where you can sit comfortably and undisturbed for a few moments. Take a normal breath. Follow up with a deep, cleansing breath in through your nose that causes your lower belly to rise. Hold the breath for 1 or 2 counts before exhaling slowly, letting your lower belly deflate as the air passes out through your mouth. Repeat the cycle several times until you feel more relaxed.
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Ask yourself if you can control the situation. Stressors that you can control are those that you can take some sort of action on to alleviate immediately. Focus on those. Trying to control things that are out of your control only cause more stress. If you can't control a situation, then you must move on to what you can control. When you’ve picked out the element that you can control, you can try to eliminate the pressure. [4] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
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Find a workable solution to what you can control. Once you separate the solvable problems from the unsolvable, brainstorm for a solution. Use the COPE method for effective problem-solving. [5] X Research source
- Challenge yourself to figure out each of your problems, the source of these problems, and your desired outcome.
- Make a list of Options to resolving each problem. Consider the pros and cons of each option, selecting the one that will help you reach your desired outcome.
- Create an action Plan to following through on the solution within a realistic time-frame.
- Evaluate your progress. Determine if you are happy with the results. If not, go back to your list of options and revise your action plan.
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Create a mantra. [6] X Research source Repeat something like “Keep calm and carry on,” “This too shall pass,” “Make it work” or “I will accept the things I cannot change.” Consider getting an app that lists these mantras, changing your desktop image to the mantra or listening to a song with your favorite mantra, like “Hakuna Matata” or “Every little thing is gonna be alright.” [7] X Research source
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Try mindful meditation . Mindfulness is the practice of focusing wholeheartedly on the present moment. Being mindful can improve both physical and mental health. [8] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Practicing mindfulness through meditation is an important tool in your stress-management toolbox. Here's how to do it: [9] X Research source
- Find a quiet, comfortable spot where you can sit without distractions for several minutes. Sit erect without perching or leaning back. If you are on the floor, cross your legs. If you are on a chair, position your legs in 90-degree angles. Drop your hands atop your thighs.
- Close your eyes or position your gaze at an uninteresting space on the wall ahead of you. Take a deep cleansing breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth. "Follow" your breath, simply noticing each inhale and exhale.
- Eventually, your thoughts will wander from your breath. Acknowledge this without dwelling on the thought or criticizing yourself - just return your attention to your breath.
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Engage in progressive muscle relaxation. [10] X Research source Yet another technique that can fight stress and evoke the body's relaxation response is progressive muscle relaxation. If you are often under great pressure, you may not even notice when your body starts to become tense. Practicing this exercise can help you recognize what your body feels like when it's tensed and relaxed.
- Sit in a comfortable chair with your feet touching the floor. Place your hands on your thighs. Take a deep breath, letting your lower belly inflate with the inhale. Release the breath.
- Starting with your feet move up throughout your body tensing each muscle group, holding the tension, and then releasing the tension. As you hold the tension, notice what it feels like. Then, when you release the tension, also notice what that feels like.
- Practice this exercise for 15 minutes daily or whenever you encounter tension and stress.
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Take regular breaks. When you're under a lot of pressure the tendency is to force yourself to work nonstop to make up for lost time or beat a deadline. However, taking an active break can rejuvenate you in the areas of attention, creativity, and result in greater productivity. [11] X Trustworthy Source Mental Health Foundation UK charity working towards good mental health for all. Go to source Set your cell phone timer to vibrate and take a 2-minute break for every hour of work.
- What can you do during an active break? Stretch. Drink water. Walk around to a different area of your workplace. Even better, take a quick walk outdoors and get some fresh air.
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Prioritize tasks. We frequently feel under heavy pressure because we are keeping busy rather than keeping productive. One way to reduce stress and get more done is to organize your daily tasks by order of importance. [12] X Trustworthy Source University of Georgia Cooperative Extension Division of the University of Georgia focused on research and community education Go to source
- Each morning - or the night before - make a list of your to-dos. Write down all the tacs you need to get done that day.
- Next, take any particularly large tasks and break them down into smaller steps.
- Finally, mark items on your list by priority using the A-B-C method.
- A - tasks that are significant to your professional and/or personal growth; tasks in support of important people in your life; tasks that are both urgent and important
- B - any tasks that are important, but do not have the urgency factor
- C - tasks that it would be nice to do, but not important
- Finally, start working on your daily to-do list completing your priority A's first.
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Learn to delegate . You may be responsible for putting undue stress on yourself by trying to stay in control of everything. Delegating some tasks others allows you to continue to perform well in high-stress environments without making sacrifices in the standard of work you provide. [13] X Research source
- If you are new to delegating, choose a relatively small task from your to-do list. Think of a person who already has the skills, or is willing to learn how, to perform this task beautifully.
- Clearly state your specific needs and any details or deadlines associated with getting the task done. Check in on the person's progress regular without micromanaging or being judgmental.
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Say "no" sometimes. One of the most practical skills you can learn to reduce pressure and find greater success is exercising your right to say "no". You may think saying "no" will cause you to miss out on opportunities or shut you off from them in the future. In fact, learning to say "no" helps you reprioritize opportunities so that you are using your time, resources, and skills most effectively. [14] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Decide when it's important to say no by asking yourself:
- Is this new commitment something I feel strongly about? Is it important to my goals? If not, pass on it.
- Is this new commitment a short-term stressor or will it be adding weeks and months of additional stress to my plate? If it's short-term, take it. If it's long-term, only take it if it is extremely meaningful to your personal/professional growth and worth the burden.
- Am I saying "yes" out of guilt or obligation? If so, don't do it.
- Do I have time to sleep on this and weigh the pros and cons without having to make a snap decision? If so, sleep on it.
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Consume a healthy diet. Feeling stressed out can lead to you bingeing on unhealthy foods in the junk food category. [15] X Research source However, appropriately managing stress means fueling up on the right foods. Pass on the sugary snacks and enjoy a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, and low-fat dairy. [16] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
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Schedule at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. Exercise reduces blood pressure, manages stress and helps release hormones, such as serotonin that help you keep a positive outlook. Get both aerobic (i.e. biking, running, walking, etc.) and strength training exercises for optimal health. [17] X Research source
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Don’t go too heavy on caffeine or alcohol. Caffeine can help you focus, but you may already be over-stimulated from the pressure. Alcohol can reduce anxiety in small quantities, but it actually increases stress on the system after one or two drinks. [18] X Research source
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Get a hobby . Hobbies are a wonderful way to distract you from stressors, give you something to look forward to, and develop connections with other hobbyist. If financial troubles are plaguing you, you may even be able to use your hobby for profit. [19] X Research source
- Think about some things you once liked to do or are interested in doing. Make sure it's something that will actually relieve stress rather than contributing to it. Plus, ensure that you will participate in this hobby regularly.
- Suggestions for hobbies include writing, painting, playing a musical instrument, volunteering, gardening, and playing sports.
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Try to be competent, not perfect. One of the main ways people suffer from internal stress is due to perfectionism . Having high standards often builds good work ethic and character. Nonetheless, perfectionists frequently set standards that are so high, they prove unreachable - or are reached under great pressure. Aim to get the job done well without fretting over the unnecessary details.
- Learning to be more realistic in your thinking and goal-setting can help you overcome perfectionism. Recite realistic statements such as these when you catch yourself setting impossible standards or criticizing your abilities: [20]
X
Research source
- No one is perfect.
- All I can do is my very best.
- Making a mistake does not make me a failure.
- It's okay to not be at the top of my game sometimes.
- Learning to be more realistic in your thinking and goal-setting can help you overcome perfectionism. Recite realistic statements such as these when you catch yourself setting impossible standards or criticizing your abilities: [20]
X
Research source
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Accept mistakes. Perfectionism may also make you feel as though making mistakes is the end of the world. Asking yourself how bad a mistake really is might help you to recognize that making mistakes are actually fundamental and can even help you grow. If you catch yourself freaking out over the following, ask yourself: [21] X Research source
- Will this matter in one year? Five years?
- What's the absolute worse that can happen?
- If the worst happens, can I handle that?
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Stop criticizing yourself. Having a mean, vicious inner dialogue results in anger, frustration, and disappointment. Get a hold of that voice in your head, and turn negative, critical self-talk into thoughts that are more positive and life-giving. [22] X Research source
- Each day take note of self-criticism.
- Note the situation or stimulus that caused the thought. What was your behavior? Feelings?
- Write down the exact thought as it came to you. (i.e. "I will never get promoted.")
- Write down what happened after the thought. How did you feel? How did you act?
- Decide how you would respond to a friend. Would you correct him? Would you tell him about all the strengths he has? Practice this same courtesy to yourself.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you handle pressure in your life?Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She holds a decade of experience creating change in various non-profits then went on to operate her own wellness business for 10 years. Most recently, she worked as a Therapy Associate to a chiropractic neurologist for 15 months working hands-on with patients, helping them heal from neurological disorders like concussions, long covid, migraines, and more. Nicolette guides groups and individuals on transformative meditation journeys and game-changing mindset management workshops and retreats on empowering everyone to keep expanding beyond past conditioning and self-limiting beliefs. Nicolette is a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher with a Psychology & Mindfulness Major, a NASM certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, and an expert in psychophysiology with experience in nervous system regulation and breath work. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University.Try to avoid putting pressure on yourself to please others. Check in with yourself before you say yes to something. Try asking questions like, "Does this make me happy?" and "Do I want to do this?" If you're constantly going above and beyond, and you're not being honest with yourself about what you can do, you're going to burn out, and you'll end up lashing out at the other person. Don't agree to things because you need validation or acceptance. If you're struggling with being a people pleaser, you might find that you're overextending yourself on other people's behalf. It's important to let go of underlying fear, insecurity, doubt, and worry, and instead be honest with yourself and the other person about your limits and expectations. Be brave and stand up for yourself. When you're always putting other people first, you can start to feel like a doormat, and other people won't respect you for that. However, if you're brave enough to question things, innovate, and be a change-maker, the people around you will have more respect for you.
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Tips
- If you feel you can't deal with the pressure, seek help through therapy. Sometimes you may need help with your feelings, and that's fine.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/stress-disorder
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-symptoms-signs-and-causes.htm
- ↑ http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/relaxation-techniques-breath-control-helps-quell-errant-stress-response
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
- ↑ https://www.cameron.edu/storage/office-of-teaching-and-learning/study-skills/COPE.pdf
- ↑ https://www.acc.org/membership/sections-and-councils/cardiovascular-team-section/section-updates/2019/01/07/15/00/self-compassion-mantra-to-ease-stress
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/25/positive-affirmations-de-stressing-mantras_n_3047604.html
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/benefits-of-mindfulness.htm
- ↑ http://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-how-to-do-it/
- ↑ http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/MuscleRelaxation.pdf
- ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/your-mental-health/looking-after-your-mental-health/take-break
- ↑ https://extension.uga.edu/publications/detail.html?number=C1042&title=Time%20Management:%2010%20Strategies%20for%20Better%20Time%20Management
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2011/12/23/6-tips-for-delegating-success/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2013/11/learning-to-say-no-is-part-of-success/
- ↑ https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001942.htm
- ↑ http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/healthy_eating/
- ↑ https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/managing-anxiety/exercise-stress-and-anxiety
- ↑ https://adaa.org/tips
- ↑ https://www.headtohealth.gov.au/living-well/purposeful-activity
- ↑ http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf
- ↑ http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201801/7-ways-overcome-toxic-self-criticism
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- "As I read your article, it helped relieve the stress and pressure that I'm feeling right now. I failed a practicum in music today. I'm not musically inclined but I tried my best, and unfortunately I failed. So I was browsing the internet for how to relieve stress and pressure, and I found this article. It really helped me a lot." ..." more
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"As I read your article, it helped relieve the stress and pressure that I'm feeling right now. I failed a practicum in music today. I'm not musically inclined but I tried my best, and unfortunately I failed. So I was browsing the internet for how to relieve stress and pressure, and I found this article. It really helped me a lot."
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"I failed in high school, and I felt that this was the end for me, but by practicing deep breathing, mantra, and by developing a hobby (I can play 6 musical instruments now), I feel that I am back in life. Thanks for your noble advice, keep going."
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"The point which said one should get hold of one's inner "vicious and mean" voice was particularly helpful. I have realized that self-criticism might end up causing unnecessary pressure instead of leading one to perfection.Thanks."
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"I have always suffered from the desire to be perfect, the best. And as such, found myself unable to handle my shortcomings well. The points in the article on perfectionism and self-criticism have enlightened me a lot."
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