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Not sure how to act when the guy you're crushing on is around? You might feel nervous or awkward when you're talking to him, or maybe you don't know how to get his attention when you're hanging out in a group. Whatever you're struggling with, the good news is that it's totally possible to show your crush how awesome and fun you are when you're around him without overthinking things or making it awkward. We've put together some tips to show you how!
Steps
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Make eye contact. Keep it to casual glances, or he might get freaked out. When he catches your eye, smile sweetly and turn back to what you were doing. If you sit and stare at him all day, he'll think you're a little obsessive. When you do talk to him, though, be confident enough to look him right in the eye instead of staring at the ground, and he'll be impressed by how you handle yourself. [1] X Expert Source Cristina Morara
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020. -
Ask him for change. Change for a dollar. Or ask what time it is, like if you might be late to a class or whatnot. Ask if he knows any of the people running for student office. Something simple, no big deal.
- If you're talking to him, it's okay to avert your gaze every once in a while. Staring into his eyes during the entire conversation may be a little intense.
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Make his friends notice you. This does not mean you should ruthlessly flirt with his friends until they can't help but notice you. It does mean that you should act cool and fun around his friends, and try to get to know them a bit. Flirting a little bit with other guys is okay and will keep your crush on his toes, but if you go overboard, the guys may get the wrong impression of you. Instead, be kind and interested, ask his friends about their favorite sports teams or weekend plans, and just try to act cool without making it obvious that you really like their friend.
- If his friends notice you and like you, then they may talk about you in front of the guy, which will make him notice you more.
- If you become friends with his friends, they may even invite you out to parties, which will make it more likely for you to hang out with the guy.
- Resist the urge to send friends to ask if he likes you. He will think that you're trying to force a relationship. This will get right back to him and he will not think it's cool. Even asking the friends about how he's doing or what he's up to will basically reveal that you have a crush on the guy. (When the time comes to reveal your crush, you'll want to be brave and do it yourself .)
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Let him see you having a great time. If the guy is in your orbit but not talking to you, don't spend your time looking sad or bored and waiting for him to come up to you. Instead, enjoy the people you're hanging out with, laugh, tell funny stories, be engaged instead of looking around you, and just be a person who other people want to hang out with. Make him want to come up to you and make conversation because other people enjoy your presence.
- If you look like you're in high demand and surrounded by people, he won't be scared off; instead, he'll just want to get to know you even more.
- Guys love girls who are fun to be around. Let him see you cracking up instead of listlessly searching for something fun to do on your phone.
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Don't act like someone you're not. If you are talking to the guy, as corny as it sounds, the best thing you can do is be yourself. After all, you want him to like you, don't you, instead of some vision of what you think the perfect person should be? You don't have to let him know everything about you at once, but you should generally act the way you do around your friends, just a bit less familiar. [2] X Expert Source Cristina Morara
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020. You may be feeling shy, at first, but the more you talk to the guy, the more comfortable you'll be being yourself. [3] X Research source- You may think that guys like dumb girly girls who just giggle and toss their hair back, or girls that just fawn all over them, but that's not the case. Guys are much more attracted to independent women who can be themselves and are comfortable enough with who they are that they don't have to worry about not being their "type".
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Avoid trash talking. You may think that gossiping or saying horrible things about the people you both know will make the guy think you're an interesting person to be around, but really, while he may be temporarily interested by any gossip you may hear, he'll think you're a person who is petty and who can't be trusted. No guy wants to be around a girl who is always talking trash, because that will make her look like she's in the center of the drama, and no guy wants to be within a ten-mile radius of drama, especially girl drama.
- Keep things positive instead. You want the guy to have a fun and pleasant experience whenever he talks to you, instead of feeling your negative energy.
- Plus, if you gossip to him, he's going to wonder if you'll eventually gossip about him.
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Don't be jealous. This is the worst thing you can do as a girl if you want to catch a guy's eye. If you see him hanging out with other girls, don't ask him if he likes them or talk about how those girls are stupid or ugly or fat. This will just make you look ridiculously insecure and extremely jealous. If you seem like a jealous person before you even start dating the guy, then he'll already begin to imagine that you would be an incredibly jealous girlfriend. [4] X Research source
- If a girl that you both know comes up, wow the guy by complimenting the girl instead. He'll see that you're so cool with yourself that you don't feel the need to compete with other women.
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Ask him about his interests. Let's face it: guys love to talk about themselves. Who doesn't, really? If you want the guy to enjoy hanging out with you, then you have to make him see that you care about him without fawning all over him or awkwardly squeezing his biceps. Instead, ask him about his favorite sports teams, or about the sports he plays if he's on a school team. Talk about his favorite bands, his favorite TV shows, or even his favorite type of Mexican food. You can share stuff about yourself too, of course; don't make him feel like he's being interrogated, just like you want to get to know him. [5] X Expert Source Cristina Morara
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.- Some guys are shy and actually don't like talking about themselves so much. If you get this vibe, then switch the subject to something you can both generally talk about, like your plans for the weekend.
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Be nice to everybody. It is very simple, but very effective. Be nice to him and to other people too. He will see what a pleasant person you are. If you are harsh and mean to others, but nice to him, that won't really get you far either. Going back and forth between very nice and cold/arrogant will make you seem fake. Playing mind games gives you an air of being moody and high maintenance. [6] X Research source
- If he's thinking about dating you, he'll see that it would be easy because you get along with everyone. No guy wants to date a girl who has a reputation of fighting with everyone or just being mean to people for no reason.
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Flirt . For some, flirting comes naturally. If so, flaunt it. If not, then just show him that you're interested in him by making eye contact, smirking, and making a little bit of conversation. [7] X Expert Source Cristina Morara
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020. You can turn your body towards him instead of away to send the message that you like him and even touch him lightly if your conversation is going well. You can also tease him a bit, if you're starting to get to know him and know he'll respond well. [8] X Research source- Another way to flirt is to be a bit playful. You don't have to act like you take yourself so seriously all the time.
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Compliment him. Genuine, simple compliments are great. If you find something simple that you can compliment about him, go for it. Pick a pretty harmless aspect of his appearance or a quality about him that deserves to be complimented. You can say something like, "I like your new haircut" or "It's really cool how you can be so good at baseball and have time to do well in school." That's about as personal as it should get; there's no need to make him uncomfortable by saying something like, "You look so hot in that shirt." Save those compliments for when you're dating each other. [9] X Research source
- Don't compliment him more than once per every conversation or two. If you keep piling on the compliments, he may feel overwhelmed or like you're fawning all over him.
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Make physical contact. If he's teasing you, then give him a gentle shove or a playful tap on the knee. Just make sure the action is reciprocated. If you're the one who is always touching him, then either he's not that into it or he's shy about being touched. If you're sitting or standing next to him, try to be natural about having your knees touch or about brushing elbows. See how he responds to a simple touch. He might want more. [10] X Research source
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Say his name when you talk to him. People like to hear their names, so use his when you speak to him. You don't have to use it more than once or twice during your conversation; this will be enough to make him feel special. [11] X Research source
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Be a fun conversationalist. Tell him funny stories from what you did over the weekend. Talk about something ridiculous you heard on the news. Discuss your love for dancing or playing the piano. Keep the conversation moving back and forth, and don't be afraid to show your goofy side and make him laugh at your corny jokes. Just be a fun, dynamic person to talk to, and he'll want to come back for more. [12] X Research source
- It's okay if the conversation stalls and you can't think of anything to say. Smile, and then bring up something, even if it's kind of random. Don't get uncomfortable with a little bit of silence; if you and the guy are comfortable with each other, then pretty soon, you'll be comfortable sharing silence too.
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Keep your cool. Try to stay calm as much as you can, even if you feel butterflies in your stomach. You can still be upbeat and fun without getting nervous or talking too much or too loudly just because you're around the guy. If you find yourself getting too excited, take a deep breath and calm down. Look away from his face if you have to. You don't have to be completely chill if that's not really your personality, but try not to look too eager or excited around him or he may get a little overwhelmed. [13] X Research source
- There's a difference between keeping your cool and acting like you don't care. He should still be able to tell that you favor him a little bit, without thinking you have a shrine devoted to him in your closet.
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Intrigue him. Once you've got his attention, the thing you want to do is to keep him coming back for more. You want to catch his interest and make him see that you're a unique girl who he wants to get to know better. You can do this by being a bit mysterious and not putting all of your cards on the table right away; make him want to know more about you. When you talk to him, say you have to go while you're still having a great conversation instead of waiting until things start to die down before saying goodbye; this will make him want to see more of you so you can continue your great conversation.
- If the guy is intrigued by you, then he'll want to spend more time with you, maybe even one on one. Don't get too excited if he asks you out, but do let him know you're happy about it.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhy do guys act weird when they like you?Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.This is just something people of all genders tend to do when they've got a crush on someone. We feel the butterflies in our stomach and it sort of throws us off of our natural rhythm.
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QuestionHow can I make a guy like me back?Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.You can't control the way that other people feel. All you can do is be yourself, make an active effort to connect with him, and engage in things you enjoy. The more secure and happy you are, the more likely he'll be to notice!
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Tips
- Make sure your breath always smells nice — maybe throw in a mint when he isn't looking or chew some minty gum.Thanks
- Act and dress in your comfort zone. Guys notice when you are uncomfortable.Thanks
- Be his friend. If he doesn't accept you as a friend, your relationship won't work very well. Offer advice and be there for him.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Pay attention when he talks about himself, and mention some things you remember about him in a later conversation to show you're interested in what he has to say.
- Become good friends with his friends. This way, you can be a part of each other's friend circles and hang out more often.
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Warnings
- Don't follow the guy around too much! That will give him the impression that you're stalking him. Your goal is to get the guy to come to you. If you don't occasionally back away from him, he may back away from you.Thanks
- Don't overdo your makeup just to impress him. Once again, be yourself and wear what you're comfortable with.Thanks
- Remember, all guys are different. Some guys don't even like physical contact!Thanks
- Don't play "hard to get." This might send a wrong message and stop him from being interested. Give him space and live your own life, but don't send mixed signals.Thanks
- If he happens to have a girlfriend or ex-girlfriend, be careful. Try to become friends with the girl, so that you won't have her eyeballing you every time you talk to him. If this is a girlfriend and not an ex, tread lightly when flirting with him.Thanks
- Understand that, in some cases, you may not be your crush's "type." This doesn't mean that you're not attractive or that nobody else can see your charm! Nor does it mean you can't be just friends. It just may mean letting this crush go and moving on to the next one.Thanks
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References
- ↑ Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201308/be-yourself-vs-being-somebody-else
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/200805/jealousy-is-killer-how-break-free-your-jealousy
- ↑ Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201712/the-importance-kindness
- ↑ Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://hackspirit.com/how-to-get-guy-to-like-you/
- ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/6-kinds-of-compliments-men-would-love-to-hear-more-often-jgc/
- ↑ https://verilymag.com/2016/07/5-love-languages-physical-touch-show-your-guy-affection
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/using_a_persons_name_in_conversation
- ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3027801/5-ways-to-have-great-conversations
- ↑ https://soulmates.theguardian.com/blog/advice/how-to-play-it-cool-with-a-guy
About This Article
Article Summary
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When you like a guy, it can be hard to keep your cool around him. But by staying casual, being your best self, and showing an interest in him, you may be able to pique his interest in getting to know you! If you’re just getting to know the guy, let him know you notice him by making eye contact and smiling when he looks your way. The next time you see him, you might casually strike up a conversation. For example, ask him what he thinks of the latest homework assignment or if he has change for a dollar. While you’re talking to him, keep the conversation positive and pleasant. Show that you’re interested in him by asking him about himself and his interests, and don’t be afraid to share a little about yourself, too. Try your best to be yourself when you’re around him, so he’ll learn to appreciate you for who you are. For tips on how to keep him interested once you have his attention, keep reading!
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