Maybe you aren't able to drive, you don't own a car, or the car you own isn't working. While there are plenty of alternate ways of getting around, such as walking, biking, taking a bus, or taking a train, these methods aren't always available or convenient. Asking someone for a ride can feel overwhelming, but with a little thoughtfulness, the process can actually be relatively painless for both you and the other person.
Steps
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Make sure you’ve first considered other options. As mentioned in the introduction, there are plenty of alternate ways of getting somewhere. Think about whether it might be possible to walk, bike, or take a bus, train, cab, or rideshare. If none of these options are available to you, or they would require unreasonable hardship, then you might consider asking someone for a lift.
- A good rule of thumb when asking someone a favor is to make sure that the benefit to you significantly outweighs the inconvenience it might cause the other person.
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Don’t assume that just because someone has a car, they can give you a ride. Whether or not someone owns or has easy access to a car is the first thing you should consider when deciding to ask for a ride, don’t make assumptions about their availability or willingness. Even if they’ve given you a ride once, twice, or a hundred times before, don’t take it for granted that they’ll be able to help you every time you need to get somewhere.Advertisement
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Decide whom you’ll ask. If you have a relationship with someone where you’re already in the practice of regularly doing favors for each other, such as those that are common between family members, romantic partners, or close friends, this is ideal. Otherwise, consider who might be least inconvenienced by your request.
- If you need a ride home from work, consider asking the coworker that you know drives by your street every day, anyway. Or if you are going to dinner with a group of friends, maybe ask the friend that lives closest to you for a lift to the restaurant.
- Make sure you consider lifestyle factors, too. If you have a friend with two small children, or who’s been working a lot of overtime lately, they will likely need to be more conservative with their extra time and energy than your friend who teaches guitar lessons three afternoons a week and still lives with his parents. If your cousin wakes up early every morning for her job, you probably don’t want to ask her for a ride to the airport to catch your red-eye flight. Or a friend who works as a bartender probably won’t be very excited about bringing you to pick up your car from the body shop at seven a.m. on a Saturday.
- It’s extremely important that you know the other person well enough to be sure you feel safe spending time alone with them. It’s never a good idea to get into a car with a near-stranger, or someone with whom you don’t feel comfortable.
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Don’t beat around the bush. When you’ve decided whom you’ll ask, you’ll want to be forthcoming about your intentions at the beginning of the conversation. If you try to make small talk about other things first the entire conversation can come off as disingenuous when you finally come around to the point.
- It’s also a good idea to begin the conversation with something along the lines of “Hi so-and-so, I have a favor to ask you…”. Not only is this appropriately straightforward, but using the word “favor” also shows that you understand the person would be going out of their way for you, whereas “Could you please give me a ride to work tomorrow?” could run the risk of sounding like a command, and therefore off-putting. [1] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
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Don’t put them on the spot. If you know you are going to need a ride somewhere, don’t wait until the last minute to ask. Give the other person as much advance notice as possible, so that they can factor it into their schedule that day.
- This also goes for asking for a ride in front of other people. Many people have a difficult time saying no if there is an audience, and they might suspect that you are capitalizing on this.
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Offer to help pay for gas. While this is recommended any time you take a ride from someone, it is an absolute must in the instance that someone is picking you up and bringing you somewhere they don’t also need to be, such as the airport, a doctor’s appointment, or a job interview.
- Often people will refuse to take your money, but don’t count on this! Make sure you have cash on hand to give them, just in case.
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Take no for an answer. If someone says they’re unable to give you a ride, don’t press the issue. Resist asking for an explanation, and don’t argue or challenge them. Instead, be gracious and thank them for their time.
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Make it as easy as possible for the person who is giving you the ride. Putting in a little extra time and effort on your end shows the person that you are taking their time and effort into consideration, and that you value the favor they are doing for you. Here are a few examples of ways you might make the experience easier for them:
- If your destination is a place regularly frequented by most people, such as the grocery store, offer to accompany them whenever they are next planning to go, rather than requesting they make a special trip.
- If you live at the corner of a difficult intersection, offer to walk a block or two in order to meet them where it’s easier to pull over.
- If they are giving you a ride somewhere that they may have never been before, make sure you have clear directions, or have the address already plugged into the map function on your smartphone.
- Be ready to go at least five minutes before you expect them to show up, so that they won’t have to wait for you in the instance that they are running a few minutes ahead of schedule.
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Be pleasant in the car. Try to make the other person’s experience of being in the car with you as enjoyable as possible. This is not only respectful, but it will also increase the likelihood of this person agreeing to help you in the future. Often being pleasant is just a matter of not doing certain annoying things:
- Don’t criticize the person’s car, for instance, no matter how beat up or messy it is.
- Don't criticize their driving, and avoid being a "backseat driver".
- Don’t fiddle with any of the car’s dials. Even if they are listening to the most boring talk radio station ever, or the air conditioning is freezing your face off. If you absolutely must, ask the driver politely if they'd be willing to change the radio station or turn the air down.
- Don’t be a chatterbox. If the other person wants to talk, that’s great! But if they don’t seem like they are interested in chatting, let yourself be comfortable with the silence. Some people need quiet in order to concentrate while they drive, or they might be particularly interested in what they’re listening to on the radio.
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Plan to reciprocate. While you might not be able to pay the person back in kind, you should still find a way to show your appreciation. What this entails exactly will depend on your preexisting relationship with the person, and the degree of inconvenience to them.
- If you get a ride home from a coworker who lives in the same building as you, a simple text saying “Thanks again for the ride! I really appreciate it!” might suffice. But if a friend wakes up at three thirty in the morning to drive you an hour to the airport, you probably want to consider something a little more meaningful. Perhaps you can pick them up a small gift on your trip, or treat them to dinner when you get back.
- However, if you are dealing with prohibitive financial issues and can’t afford a gift or dinner, a thoughtful, hand-written thank-you card will work, too.
- Make sure to do this after they have agreed to help you, as otherwise, it can seem like you’re trying to obligate them. For instance, don’t bake your friend cookies and as she’s biting into the first one, ask her for a ride to the dentist next Friday. [2] X Research source
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Community Q&A
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QuestionHow can I respond if someone offers me a ride home?Community AnswerIf you need a ride, say something like, "Sure, that would be great! I really appreciate it." If you don't want the ride, then say something like, "Actually I'm okay, but I appreciate the offer!"
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QuestionHow do I ask for a ride through a text message?Community AnswerUnless it's someone really close to you, or a regular arrangement you're restarting after a holiday, a more personal approach is better - if you have to text, make sure the text can't be misinterpreted as rude, or expecting a 'yes' answer. Be really polite, explain what you need, when and why and add you completely understand if they can't help - and be gracious if they say no.
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QuestionHow do I ask someone for a ride to a funeral?Moonmodule1998Top AnswererThe same way you would anywhere else. "Hey, I was wondering if you could drive me somewhere. There's a funeral I need to get to next Sunday at ten in the morning, I really have no other way to make it. Could you possibly drive me there?" You should tell them where the funeral is being held, when it starts (and when they should pick you up), and when it ends, assuming they won't be attending the funeral themselves. If they are also attending the funeral, then you can just ask if they could pick you up. Make it clear that you understand if they can't help you. Thank them if they agree to help.
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About This Article
Article Summary
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While you may feel uncomfortable asking someone for a ride, pick someone who has access to a car and who you regularly exchange favors with to make the process easier. A family member, partner, or co-worker are all ideal options. Otherwise, choose someone who will be the least inconvenienced by where you need to go. When it comes to asking someone for a ride, be direct and forthcoming with your intentions. For example, at the beginning of the conversation, you could say, “I have a favor to ask you. Would you mind giving me a ride to work tomorrow?” It can also help if you give the person as much notice as possible so that they can factor it into their schedule. Avoid asking at the last minute or if you’re in front of other people, as the person may feel pressured. For more advice on asking for a ride, like how to be a good carpool companion, read on!
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- "I usually walk from college to home, but yesterday I felt tired so I decided to take a lift. I haven't done this before so looked for helped. I was able to get an uncle to get me home." ..." more
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"I usually walk from college to home, but yesterday I felt tired so I decided to take a lift. I haven't done this before so looked for helped. I was able to get an uncle to get me home."
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