How to Avoid an Awkward First Kiss

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Be fully confident going in for a kiss without being awkward

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: July 5, 2024 References

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Calming Your Nerves

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Avoiding Awkwardness

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Making the Kiss Enjoyable

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Video

A kiss can tell you a lot about your compatibility with your companion. Though our instinct to kiss is a natural one, the skill of doing so in a way that’s mutually enjoyable can take some practice. By making sure you and your partner feel comfortable, secure, and safe, you can ensure your first kiss with someone you like is a good one. ^{[1]
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Avoiding a Bad First Kiss

Make eye contact with the person in front of you. Lean in slowly and avoid any abrupt movements. Once you make gentle contact, keep the first kiss brief and gently pull away with a tip of the chin or small step backwards.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Calming Your Nerves

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You are about to enjoy a physical connection with someone you like, and who likes you. There’s no need to be nervous, because there’s no right way or wrong way to kiss. Relaxing will help you feel more comfortable about the kiss. Trust that the two of you will figure it out together. ^{[2]
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Seeing each other will help you both remember that you’re going to enjoy sharing this moment with one another. Eye contact also lets your partner know that you are attentive and interested, which can help them feel more comfortable. ^{[3]
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It’s okay for your first kiss to be brief and simple. There’s no need to set high expectations of a lingering embrace. A long, heavy kiss can be intimidating. Sharing a quick moment of intimacy can still tell you a lot about your compatibility. ^{[4]
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4
Don’t over analyze the moment. Dissecting every part of the kiss will lead to more nervousness. Remember that a first kiss is just a first attempt. Additional kisses with the same partner, as well as kisses with others over the course of time, will give you a chance to learn what you like and what you don’t. ^{[5]
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- The more you kiss, the better you'll get at it!

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Avoiding Awkwardness

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You can do this by breathing into your cupped palm or bent elbow. A strong taste in your mouth, such as certain foods, beverages, or smoke, can also indicate unfresh breath. If there’s an unpleasant taste or odor, your partner might find it unpleasant. Use mint gum to freshen your breath before hand. ^{[6]
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Don’t lunge abruptly or lurch without warning. Quick movements are likely to result in an awkward moment of bumped foreheads, bruised lips, or banged teeth. Eye contact can help you negotiate the approach for the kiss. If you move toward one another carefully, the initial lip-to-lip contact will be smooth and natural. ^{[7]
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3
Keep movement to a minimum. There’s no need to move your mouth, head, or body a great deal. Too much movement can be distracting. It can also increase the likelihood of an awkward bump or slip. ^{[8]
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- Try to match your partner throughout the kiss so you fit together nicely.
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4
End the kiss gently. This can be done with a simple slight turn of the head, tipping up of the chin, or a small step backwards. You’ll know the time is right to end the kiss because of simple physical or emotional cues like: ^{[9]
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- fatigue
- excess moisture
- discomfort in your jaw
- frustration
- distraction
- lack of enjoyment

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making the Kiss Enjoyable

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1
Take and give physical cues. Try to demonstrate how you prefer to be kissed. Pay attention to what your partner may be trying to show you about their preferences. Remember, a good first kiss is a team effort. ^{[10]
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- Drop a hint to your partner by staring in their eyes, smiling, and letting those butterflies develop.
- If your partner is comfortable, you can try building up to the kiss with a little bit of light physical contact. This could include a hand, arm, or shoulder massage, and/or a kiss along the back of their neck.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Ease into the kiss. Start with a casual touch, like holding hands. As comfort grows, progress to a gentle arm around the shoulder. Read their body language–sustained eye contact and corresponding touch are positive signs. If all feels right, lean in slowly and wait for their response.
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Hands, hair, waist, back, and other areas are parts you might like to touch and have touched while you kiss. Your partner might guide you to touch them in places they’d enjoy. If you’re comfortable doing so, follow their lead. ^{[11]
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3
Make eye contact afterward. Although this might feel awkward, the moment after is a good time to gauge your partner’s feelings about the kiss. Look at them, and see if they look like they enjoyed it. If you can’t tell from simply looking, you can talk about it. Try starting with: ^{[12]
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- “I really like kissing you.”
- “You’re a good kisser.”
- “I liked when you…”
- “That was nice.”

Join the Discussion...

I learned the average age for a first kiss is 15...

60

WikiRiverDancer770 posted on 06/28/24 8:28pm

I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More

1

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

For your first kiss, take it easy and build up to the moment. Start with a little bit of light physical contact. You might start by massaging her... Read More