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Puberty is a time when sex hormones lead to physical and emotional changes. During this period, it is normal to feel out of control and to have mood swings. You do not have to despair, however. Learn about the expected changes of your body and how you can handle emotional fluctuations. Achieving a balanced lifestyle will also help you feel in control!
Steps
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Learn to handle mood swings. Having your emotions fluctuate during puberty is completely normal. Many young people will experience mood swings at some time during puberty. There are, however, ways to keep your emotions in check. For example, you can:
- Take a moment to calm yourself. Try taking a few deep breaths and letting out your air slowly.
- Cry. It is totally okay to cry and sometimes it can be cathartic. Letting go of your emotions occasionally can be very helpful. If you find yourself crying constantly, however, or being consistently sad, talk to a parent or doctor.
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Have a time out. When you are a teenager, you are facing new academic responsibilities, changing friends, potentially more extra-curricular activities. It can become overwhelming. If you are feeling stressed, take time to slow down and try one of these activities: [1] X Research source
- Watch a funny show.
- Swing at the playground.
- Listen to your favorite music.
- Take a bubble bath.
- Play a musical instrument like the piano. [2] X Research source
- Do karaoke on a streaming site like YouTube.
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Start a journal. It can be therapeutic to write about your feelings and emotions. Oftentimes, after writing about your problems, you can contextualize them better. Perhaps you see that a problem isn’t as bad as you initially thought. Writing can help you calm down and express your creativity at the same time.
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Seek counsel from trusted family or friends. Some of your friends might be feeling the same way. Talk to them about how their emotions have shifted. Your parents or other trusted adults are also good resources. They too have lived through teenage years and can help you address your mood fluctuations. It is healthy for you to release your feelings. [3] X Research source
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Choose your friends wisely. You and your friends undoubtedly influence each other. While you are undergoing hormonal changes, stick with supportive friends who will encourage you. Steer clear from friends involved in drugs, alcohol, or other illegal activities. [4] X Research source
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Practice good relationship behaviors. As your hormones change during puberty, it is natural for you to be attracted to other boys or girls. This is healthy! Before engaging in sexual behavior, consider talking to a trusted friend, your partner, or a school counselor about the pros and cons of early sexual activity. If you do engage in sexual activity, be sure to use a condom to help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
- The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reminds us that the only surefire way to prevent the contraction of STIs is to abstain from all forms of penetrative intercourse, e.g. vaginal, anal, or oral. [5] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
- If you decide to wait to have sex, that's okay too! Don't let anyone pressure you to give into temptation or have sex before you're completely comfortable with it.
- Reader Poll: We asked 794 wikiHow readers who've waited to have sex, and 62% of them agreed that the most challenging part is staying strong during moments of temptation . [Take Poll]
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Continue to exercise. Although your body might feel different as it is changing, it is important to keep on exercising. Learning to be coordinated with a new physical frame is important. When you do sports, your body creates extra beta-endorphins, which are hormones that can decrease stress and put you in a better mood.
- Understand that some sports might be harder for you than in the past. For example, if you were a star figure skater before entering puberty, you might find jumping is more difficult with increased weight. This happens to almost everyone! Talk with your coaches about how to adapt to your new physical frame.
- Exercising can also help girls who have menstrual pain. [6] X Research source If you are worried about working out on your period, see how to Exercise While on Your Period.
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Update your wardrobe. As you grow taller, you will need some new clothes. Take this moment to think about your new style. Perhaps you would like to look more mature. For girls, this is a good time to learn about bras. Ask your mother, sibling, or a friend for help. Most larger department stores or women’s lingerie stores also have specialists who can help you determine what is the best type and size of bra to use. For boys who play sports, talk to your coaches about purchasing athletic cups.
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Eat healthy foods. As your body grows, it is important that you nourish it with fruits, vegetables, protein, and whole grains. Try to avoid your intake of junk foods. You might be hungry all the time as your body is using energy to grow. It is okay to eat snacks but aim for things like trail mix or yogurt rather than candy bars or chips.
- Do not skip breakfast. You will need your energy for school.
- Aim for five daily portions of fruits and vegetables.
- Include foods rich in iron and calcium, e.g. cheese, milk, spinach.
- Drink when feeling thirsty. Dehydration can make you feel tired. [7] X Research source
- If you plan to go to a party and know there will be junk food there, consider eating a healthy snack or even dinner beforehand.
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Realize what puberty is. When you enter puberty, your brain starts to create sex hormones via a girls’ ovaries or boys’ testes. [8] X Research source For girls, your body is producing extra estrogen and progesterone. Boys will receive more testosterone. Having extra hormones can cause changes to your body (like developing breasts for example) and also sometimes emotional changes. These are normal changes but can affect how you feel.
- Girls tend to start puberty around the age 8 to 13, whereas boys tend to start puberty a bit later from ages 9 to 14. [9] X Research source Some children also enter puberty earlier or later than these ranges. If girls begin puberty before age 8 or boys before age 9, this is called “precocious puberty.” If you notice your body changing early, speak with your parents or doctor immediately. [10] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Puberty does stop. Puberty is necessary for you to transform into an adult but you must be patient. Puberty can take as short as 1.5 years to as long as 5 years to finish. [11] X Research source It is hard to know in the beginning how long it will last but it will eventually end!
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Understand physical changes for girls during puberty. During the beginning of puberty, changing hormones cause breast development. Your hips will widen and you will gain pubic hair. You also should become taller. Two years after the onset of puberty, you might start having underarm hair and white or clear discharge on your underwear. Your period is likely to start soon. Around your period, you might experience premenstrual or menstrual cramps. Your abdominal region might hurt and you could feel bloated. [12] X Research source
- It is totally okay if your breasts grow at different paces. They also might be sensitive to the touch at this time. [13] X Research source
- You could gain anywhere from 2 to 8 inches in height. [14] X Research source
- Some parts of your body, like your head and hands, could grow faster than your arms and legs. [15] X Research source You might feel physically awkward during this period. Do not worry! The rest of your body will catch up!
- When your period starts, that means your uterus lining plus additional blood will leave your body once a month. Although menstrual cramps are normal, if the pain is unbearable, talk to your doctor. [16] X Research source
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Understand physical changes for boys during puberty. The sex organs will begin to develop. Your testes and penis will enlarge and you will gain pubic hair. Towards the middle of puberty, you will have a growth spurt. A few years after puberty has commenced, you will notice hair growth all over your body, including on your face. This will be a good time to learn how to shave and/or take care of your facial hair. Your body also will begin releasing testosterone. Erections and ejaculation commonly happen now. When you turn 14 or 15, puberty is almost to an end! Your larynx (e.g. Adam’s apple) will be more pronounced. Your voice might crack and sound lower and deeper. [17] X Research source
- One of your testicles might grow faster than the other one. This is normal! [18] X Research source
- Boys can gain anywhere from 4 to 12 inches of height. You can continue growing until they are 18 to 20 years old. [19] X Research source
- Testosterone is the sex hormone that causes your testicles to make sperm. [20] X Research source
- You might become erect seemingly without cause. If you ejaculate in your sleep, that is okay. This is a “wet dream.” [21] X Research source
- As your voice changes, your pitch also could fluctuate wildly. This eventually will stop. [22] X Research source
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Be aware that brain changes occur during puberty. Your brain will not be fully developed until you are about 23 to 25 years old. As your brain develops during puberty, it may be affected by risky behaviors, such as engaging in sex or trying drugs and alcohol. Be aware that any risky behaviors you engage in during puberty may lead to addictions later on.
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Set priorities. When you are a teenager, there are many things you might want to do. You might want to play a sport or be the star or the musical. Set goals as to what you would like to accomplish and give your energy proportionately to those activities. You must not be the star of every activity. [23] X Research source Take the time to discover what you do best. Then, do your best at that activity!
- Create a mini schedule for each week and day. Plan out your time wisely and do not try to load too much into one day.
- There are some priorities that are necessary--like completing your schoolwork.
- Staying fit and healthy should also be a top priority. That means sleeping enough and eating well.
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Schedule alone time. Although you might be busy with many activities, it is important to schedule some time to be with yourself. Try to grant yourself thirty minutes a day to do a favorite activity, whether reading the newspaper, playing the piano, or doing yoga. Aim to use this time to de-stress so that you can return to your activities with more energy. [24] X Research source
- You could have a half hour or quiet time before school.
- You could reserve a half hour of time to unplug from devices before sleeping.
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Practice "SMART" goal-setting. Moving forward in your teenage years, setting goals will help you feel in control even when your emotions might be making you feel the opposite. Aim for your goals to be "SMART," which stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. This means that you should define your goals clearly and be able to see whether you achieve them or not. [25] X Research source
- For example, a "SMART" goal might be do finish your level 5 piano book by January. If you are half-way through your book in September, this is an achievable goal. You can create a practice plan and divide your goal into mini steps. For example, you could aim to finish two pages per week. You will know you did it by whether you finish the book or not.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you not get stressed?Shari Forschen is a Registered Nurse at Sanford Health in North Dakota. Shari has worked in healthcare since 1996 and her expertise lies in acute care bedside nursing on a medical oncology floor. She received her degree from Medcenter one College of Nursing in 2003 and her Family Nurse Practitioner Masters from the University of North Dakota in 2014. Shari is a member of the American Nurses Association.Stress is a normal part of life. In fact, good stress (eustress) can actually motivate us to achieve goals. Identifying stressful situations and planning how to deal with them with the help of an adult , teacher or mentor can help create a sense of well-being. Talk with the adults in your life and create a plan to help cope with daily stressors.
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QuestionMy hormones are out of control. I am overly worried and frustrated all the time. What can I do about these feelings?Shari Forschen is a Registered Nurse at Sanford Health in North Dakota. Shari has worked in healthcare since 1996 and her expertise lies in acute care bedside nursing on a medical oncology floor. She received her degree from Medcenter one College of Nursing in 2003 and her Family Nurse Practitioner Masters from the University of North Dakota in 2014. Shari is a member of the American Nurses Association.Adolescence is a confusing time. If worrying is excessive, it could be classified as an anxiety disorder. Talk to your physician and make a plan to seek cognitive behavioral therapy and, if needed, medication to help calm these feelings.
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Tips
- Even if you are a girl, it is a good idea to understand how boys’ bodies are changing too. The same applies for boys understanding girls’ changes. It is good to be considerate of each other.Thanks
- Do not tease others if they go through an "awkward phase", as your bodies change during puberty. Instead, be supportive of each other.Thanks
- Don't be afraid to talk to a trusted family member/ friend. Perhaps you can ask an adult that you have confidence with and talk to them if you're having worries.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- This may not work for everyone, but drinking ice cold water can sometimes help your body relax. Also, running your rests under cold water can help you calm down when angry or stressed.
- If you feel yourself getting angry, try to remove yourself from the situation if possible, like walking away or going to your room.
- Don't be scared of the changes, and remember, you're not going to be a teen forever!
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References
- ↑ http://www.pamf.org/teen/life/stress/managestress.html
- ↑ http://www.pamf.org/teen/life/stress/managestress.html
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/bad_mood.htm#l
- ↑ http://www.theguardian.com/science/2005/mar/03/1
- ↑ http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://www.pamf.org/teen/life/stress/managestress.html#Exercise
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/precocious-puberty/basics/definition/con-20029745
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/puberty.html
- ↑ http://www.pamf.org/teen/life/stress/lifebalance.html#Set Priorities
- ↑ http://www.pamf.org/teen/life/stress/lifebalance.html#Set Priorities
- ↑ http://www.pamf.org/teen/life/stress/goals.html
About This Article
Article Summary
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To control teenage hormones, learn to manage mood swings by taking a few deep breaths to calm down, and cry if you need to. If you become stressed out, take some time away from your responsibilities and do something you enjoy, like listening to music or taking a bubble bath. You can also deal with stress by writing your problems down in a journal. Writing can help to calm you, and writing down your problems can help you to see that your problems may not be as bad as you think. To learn more from our Nurse Practioner co-author, like how to eat healthily and exercise as a teenager, keep reading the article!
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