This article was co-authored by Allison Broennimann, PhD
and by wikiHow staff writer, Annabelle Reyes
. Dr. Allison Broennimann is a licensed Clinical Psychologist with a private practice based in the San Francisco Bay Area providing psychotherapy and neuropsychology services. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Broennimann specializes in in-depth psychotherapy to provide solution-focused treatments for anxiety, depression, relationship problems, grief, adjustment problems, traumatic stress, and phase-of-life transitions. And as part of her neuropsychology practice, she integrates depth psychotherapy and cognitive rehabilitation for those recovering after traumatic brain injury. Dr. Broennimann holds a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Palo Alto University. She is licensed by the California Board of Psychology and is a member of the American Psychological Association.
There are 30 references
cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 6,721 times.
ESFP’s spontaneity, affectionate nature, and fun-loving personality make them wonderful partners. But which Myers-Briggs types appreciate ESFP’s whirlwind of emotions, and which types find them too overwhelming? If you’re curious about ESFP’s best matches, you’ve come to the right place! We’ll go over ESFP’s compatibility with each Myers-Briggs personality type, and we’ll explain what ESFP is like in romantic relationships. We’ll also cover the challenges of dating an ESFP, and what they’re attracted to, so keep reading!
Compatibility Guide for ESFP
- ESFP is most compatible with ESFJ, as well as ISFP, ESTP, and ISFJ.
- ENFP, ISTP, ESTJ, ENTP, INFP, and ENFJ also make solid matches for ESFP.
- ESFP is least compatible with ENTJ, INTP, INFJ, and INTJ.
Steps
Best Matches for ESFP
-
1ESFJ (The Caregiver) ESFJ and ESFP share extroverted, sensing, and feeling traits, making them a very strong match! Both of these personality types are naturally outgoing and love to socialize and connect with others. [1] X Research source They also have caring and sensitive dispositions and match each other’s energies well. [2] X Research source Similarities like these make for a very loving and harmonious partnership.
- To bond : Plan fun social outings together. You’re both social butterflies , so you’ll connect over your shared love of interacting with others. Fill your weekends up with get-togethers, dinner parties, or double dates! [3] X Research source
- Potential challenges : You’re both the life of the party, which means that you might compete for the spotlight sometimes. Make sure you’re helping each other shine, rather than dimming each other’s light. [4] X Research source
-
2ISFP (The Adventurer) Caring and empathetic ISFP is able to intuitively perceive their partner’s emotional needs. [5] X Research source This makes ISFP a great match for ESFP, who needs a sensitive and compassionate partner to understand their strong emotions. [6] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source ISFP is also skilled at mitigating conflict and promoting a harmonious environment, which is perfect for conflict-averse ESFP. [7] X Research source Together, ISFP and ESFP can have a beautiful, smooth-sailing partnership!
- To bond : Have heart-to-heart conversations together. You’re both sensitive and encouraging, and you’re great at affirming each other’s emotions. Sharing your deepest feelings will bring you closer together. [8] X Research source
- Potential challenges : ISFPs may become so focused on caring for their partner that they sacrifice their own needs. [9] X Research source Make sure you’re taking time to support and pamper them, too! Even small acts of kindness like dropping coffee off for them at work or surprising them with a home-cooked meal can go a long way.
Advertisement -
3ESTP (The Entrepreneur) ESTP is bold, enthusiastic, and spontaneous, just like ESFP. [10] X Research source Both partners are fun-loving and adventurous, which drives them to seek out exciting new experiences together. There’s never a dull day in this electrifying partnership! [11] X Research source
- To bond : Try new things and seek out interesting experiences together. Sign up for a class to learn a new skill, like rock climbing, cooking, or ballroom dancing, or go backpacking across a country you’ve never been to before.
- Potential challenges : ESTPs tend to be more logical, while ESFPs follow their hearts when making decisions. This may lead to some disagreements. [12] X Research source Be careful to hear each other out and respect each other’s point-of-view . Sometimes, a difference in opinion can be a good thing—it helps you broaden your perspective!
-
4ISFJ (The Defender) ISFJ is introverted and private about their feelings, while ESFP is outgoing and emotionally open, which makes them seem like a bit of an unlikely match. [13] X Research source ISFJ and ESFP prove, however, that opposites can attract. Reliable and supportive ISFJ brings some much-needed stability and safety to ESFP, while ESFP helps ISFJ become more spontaneous and flexible. [14] X Research source This makes for a complementary and balancing match!
- To bond : Try planning a romantic date night together, so you can talk and connect. You both value emotional intimacy and love to have deep conversations, so you're bound to have a great time, whether you cook a delicious meal at home or go out to a fancy restaurant. [15] X Research source
- Potential challenges : ISFJs are planners and organizers, while ESFP prefers to wing it and go with the flow. This can cause some conflict, but it’s also an opportunity for each of you to grow. Take the time to learn from each other. [16] X Research source
Solid Matches for ESFP
-
1ENFP (The Campaigner) ENFP and ESFP share the extroverted, feeling, and perceiving traits, which means they have quite a bit in common! Both partners are caring, enthusiastic, easygoing, and upbeat, so they relate to each other easily. [17] X Research source They do differ, however, in the way they process information. ENFP relies on intuition to understand things, while ESFP focuses on tangible, observable facts. This means that they might not understand each other’s decision-making process. Luckily, they often end up at the same conclusion, even if they get there in different ways, so this isn’t too much of a problem.
- To bond : Amp up the romance. Open-hearted ENFP is looking for a soulmate, not a casual fling. [18] X Research source And, though ESFPs may take a bit longer to commit, they share ENFP’s desire for passion and emotional intimacy. Have a candlelit dinner, get all dolled up to go to the opera, surprise each other with flowers or boxes of chocolate—every day is Valentine’s Day for this pair!
- Potential challenges : You both value harmony, and you both tend to be conflict-avoidant. This may cause you to sweep issues under the rug, rather than addressing them head-on. You’ll need to make an effort to communicate openly, so that things don’t simmer and escalate down the road. [19] X Research source
-
2ISTP (The Virtuoso) Like ESFP, ISTP is spontaneous, action-oriented, and resourceful. [20] X Research source They do, however, have a few key differences. ISTPs are more introverted and laid-back, while sociable ESFPs have super big personalities. Luckily, these differences tend to balance each other out and increase attraction. ISTP is drawn to ESFP’s effortless charm, and ESFP is attracted to ISTP’s low-key authenticity. [21] X Research source
- To bond : Help each other step outside your comfort zones . For ESFP, this means taking more time to be introspective, which is something ISTP excels at. For ISTP, this means being more social, which comes naturally to ESFP. Learning and growing together will bring you closer.
- Potential challenges : You could both do with a bit more structure in your lives, but this doesn’t come naturally to either of you. Together, you’ll need to make an effort to plan for the future and make practical decisions, rather than giving in completely to your spontaneous natures. [22] X Research source
-
3ESTJ (The Executive) ESFPs and ESTJs have enough similarities to connect emotionally and enough differences to keep things interesting. They have similar communication styles, which helps them work out conflict easily. And, as extroverts, this pair bonds over their shared desire for activity and social connection. Their differences, on the other hand, stem from the way they make decisions. ESFP tends to use emotion to decide things, while ESTJ has a more logical, fact-based approach. This can cause a bit of friction, but it can also be balancing. [23] X Research source
- To bond : Go after a goal together. ESTJs are incredibly dedicated and driven, and once they’ve set their mind to something, they won’t stop until they’ve achieved it. [24] X Research source ESFPs, on the other hand, win people over easily with their natural charisma. Whether you start a small business together or spearhead a volunteer project in your community, you’ll be a dream team!
- Potential challenges : ESTJ has a tendency to be a bit blunt, and ESFP is notoriously sensitive to criticism. [25] X Research source For your relationship to be successful, ESTJ will need to work on communicating in a gentler, more sensitive way, and ESFP will need to remind themselves that criticism isn’t always a personal attack—it can also be constructive.
-
4ENTP (The Debater) A relationship with an ENTP is full of excitement, creativity, and spontaneity, which works perfectly for ESFP, who needs constant stimulation to avoid boredom. [26] X Research source ESFP is also naturally drawn to the dynamic, charismatic personality of ENTP.
- To bond : Keep your calendar booked with fun social events and exciting new activities. You both thrive on social interaction and spontaneity, so you’ll connect over this shared trait.
- Potential challenges : ENTP deeply desires intellectual stimulation, while ESFP seeks emotional intimacy above all. This may cause disconnection between you. ENTP needs to make a conscious effort to affirm ESFPs feelings, and ESFP needs to be willing to engage in thoughtful discussions with ENTP. [27] X Research source
-
5INFP (The Mediator) Though INFP is very different from ESFP, they may be exactly what ESFP needs. Sensitive, empathetic INFP is able to understand and affirm ESFP’s strong (and sometimes chaotic) emotions. INFP is also a kind and gentle communicator, which is helpful when it comes to ESFP’s sensitivity to criticism. [28] X Research source
- To bond : Do something creative together! You love to entertain, and they’re naturally artistic. You might find that you make an awesome singer-songwriter team. Or, they could be an amazing playwright, and you could be the star of the show.
- Potential challenges : You have different social batteries. INFPs need a lot of alone time to recharge, while ESFPs are energized by interacting with others. You’ll both need to be patient and understanding to avoid frustration over this. [29] X Research source
-
6ISTJ (The Logistician) ESFPs and ISTJs have very different energies. This can cause friction, but with a little bit of work, it can also be complementary. ISTJ can teach ESFP to be more planned out, responsible, and organized. [30] X Research source ESFP, on the other hand, can teach ISTJ to let loose and embrace spontaneity from time to time. [31] X Research source
- To bond : Offer thoughtful advice to each other. Each of you has a valuable perspective that the other one desperately needs, and you both enjoy being helpful and supportive.
- Potential challenges : Each of you tends to be set in your ways. Since you have such different perspectives, communication, understanding, and compromise are essential. You’ll each have to step out of your comfort zone to meet the other where they’re at. [32] X Research source
-
7ENFJ (The Protagonist) With nicknames like “The Entertainer” and “The Protagonist,” it’s no surprise that an ESFP-ENFJ couple commands the attention of any room they walk into. They both have excellent people skills and dynamic personalities, which makes them the ultimate power couple. [33] X Research source
- To bond : Lean into your commonalities. You’re both outgoing, charismatic, and upbeat, so you’re on the same page a lot of the time. [34] X Research source
- Potential challenges : On the flip side, your bold personalities can lead to a bit of competition. Remember to build each other up and celebrate each other’s wins, rather than trying to outdo each other.
Challenging Matches for ESFP
-
1ENTJ (The Commander) Bold, charismatic ENTJs are certainly magnetic characters. [35] X Research source You may be drawn to ENTJ’s commanding and outgoing energy at first, but major differences in your communication styles make this pairing difficult. ENTJs are known for being incredibly blunt and direct, while ESFPs are easily offended and sensitive to criticism. This creates a perfect storm for misunderstandings. [36] X Research source
- How to make it work : Work on communication together. ENTJ will need to make an effort to think before they speak, and to offer their opinions in a gentler way. ESFP, on the other hand, will need to remind themselves that ENTJ’s bluntness is just part of their personality, not a personal attack.
-
2INTP (The Logician) INTP and ESFP have very different energies, values, and perspectives, which makes this a difficult match. INTP is introspective and intellectual, and they often prefer alone time over socializing. [37] X Research source ESFP, on the other hand, is lively, outgoing, and adventure-seeking. As a result, INTP tends to see ESFP as chaotic and unreliable, while ESFP may see INTP as dull. [38] X Research source
- How to make it work : Take some time to think about each other’s strengths and what you might be able to learn from each other. For example, INTP can teach ESFP to slow down and be more introspective, while ESFP can teach INTP to get out of their shell and connect with others. [39] X Research source
-
3INFJ (The Advocate) ESFP wears their emotions on their sleeve, while INFJ is slow to open up to others. ESFP is gregarious and social, while INFJ has a calm demeanor and needs their alone time. ESFP is spontaneous and free-spirited, while INFJ prefers to have things planned out. With differences like these, INFJ and ESFP definitely make for a difficult pairing, even though their opposite energies can be intriguing at first. [40] X Research source
- How to make it work : Connect over your shared values. Though you have very different personalities, you both care deeply about being kind, helping others, and learning more about the world around you. These commonalities can bring you closer together. [41] X Research source
-
4INTJ (The Architect) INTJ and ESFP may feel drawn to each other at first, but their differences ultimately make this a very difficult pairing. Their main issue is a difference in communication styles. INTJs are logical and straightforward communicators—they’ll say what’s on their mind, even if it hurts others’ feelings. As a result, emotional, tender-hearted ESFP may see INTJ as unkind or insensitive. [42] X Research source
- How to make it work : Try writing letters to each other if you’re having a conflict. Since you have such different communication styles, your signals may get crossed when trying to work things out verbally. You may be able to express yourselves in a calmer, more thorough way in writing, which will help you find common ground.
What are ESFPs attracted to?
-
ESFPs are attracted to social, daring, and fun-loving people. They love to meet new people and try new things, and they’re naturally attracted to partners who share these traits. [43] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source They’re also deeply sensitive, so they tend to seek out people who are equally in tune with their emotions. Ultimately, ESFP craves emotional intimacy and excitement out of a relationship, and they’re attracted to those who can match this energy. [44] X Research source
What are ESFPs like in love and relationships?
-
1ESFPs are loving, playful, and enthusiastic partners. They're known for being spontaneous and restless, so it takes a while for them to settle down. However, when they do find the right match, they fall in love with their whole heart. They’ll jump in head first, sweeping their partner up in a whirlwind of romance, passion, and excitement. One thing’s for sure—if you fall for an ESFP, you’re in for an unforgettable experience! [45] X Research source
-
2ESFPs value harmony in relationships. Naturally easygoing and upbeat, ESFPs prefer smooth sailing, rather than turbulent waters. They’re committed to maintaining a peaceful and harmonious energy with their partner, and they avoid conflict whenever they can. This makes them less likely to dwell on disagreements, preferring instead to forgive and move forward. [46] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source
What are the challenges of dating an ESFP?
-
1ESFPs can be overly sensitive to criticism. ESFP’s sensitivity is their superpower, but it can be a bit difficult to deal with in a romantic relationship. Because ESFP experiences their emotions so strongly, even the tiniest criticism feels like a full-on attack, and every difficult conversation feels like a major catastrophe. [47] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source
- If strong emotion spooks you, an ESFP may not be the best match. They wear their heart on their sleeve, and they’re not one to hide the way they’re feeling.
- If you value passion and intensity, however, an ESFP may be exactly what you’re looking for. Their emotions can definitely be overwhelming, but they’re also what makes ESFP so compelling.
-
2ESFPs tend to avoid conflict—no matter the cost. ESFPs are deeply uncomfortable with confrontation. [48] X Research source This can be a good thing when it comes to promoting a harmonious atmosphere, but sometimes it’s important to talk things out in order to avoid a bigger disagreement down the road.
- If you’re interested in an ESFP, you’ll likely need to work on communication together.
- Your ESFP partner will need to learn that healthy relationships involve occasional disagreements, and that it’s important to work things out, rather than sweeping them under the rug.
- If you're a naturally blunt person, you may need to work on your delivery when talking to ESFP. You can still be authentic and honest of course, but it’s important to avoid being overly harsh, as this will just cause them to shut down. [49] X Trustworthy Source Simply Psychology Popular site for evidence-based psychology information Go to source
ESFP Key Facts
-
The ESFP personality type is also called “The Entertainer.” ESFP stands for extroverted, sensing, feeling, and perceiving, and it’s one of the 16 personality types identified by the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). True to their nickname, ESFPs are enthusiastic, passionate, and captivating. They have great people skills, and they light up every room they walk into. [50] X Research source They’re also known for their deep sensitivity and strong emotions. [51] X Research source
- Strengths : Bold, outgoing, enthusiastic, upbeat, original, spontaneous, fun-loving, understanding, emotional, resourceful, observant
- Weaknesses : sensitive to criticism, conflict-avoidant, easily bored, restless, unfocused, poor planner, impulsive
Expert Q&A
Tips
You Might Also Like
References
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/esfj-personality
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/isfp-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/esfp-personality.html#ESFP-Personal-Relationships
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/isfp-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://personalitymax.com/personality/isfp/relationships/
- ↑ https://personalitymax.com/personality/isfp/relationships/
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/estp-personality
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/isfj-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/isfj-esfp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/enfp-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/enfp-relationships-dating
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/enfp-esfp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/istp-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/esfp-istp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://personalitymax.com/personality/estj/relationships/
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/estj-personality
- ↑ https://personalitymax.com/personality/estj/relationships/
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/entp-relationships-dating
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/entp-esfp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/infp-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/infp-esfp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/istj-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/istj-esfp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/istj-esfp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://personalitymax.com/personality/enfj/relationships/
- ↑ https://personalitymax.com/personality/enfj/relationships/
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/entj-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/intp-personality
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/intp-esfp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://www.sosyncd.com/infj-esfp-relationship-compatibility/
- ↑ https://personalitytests.com/infj-esfp-compatibility-love-marriage-romance/
- ↑ https://mypersonality.net/blog/article/esfp-compatibility
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/esfp-personality.html#ESFP-Personal-Relationships
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/esfp-relationships-dating
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/esfp-relationships-dating
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/esfp-personality.html#ESFP-Personal-Relationships
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/esfp-personality.html#ESFP-Personal-Relationships
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/esfp-strengths-and-weaknesses
- ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/esfp-personality.html#ESFP-Personal-Relationships
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/esfp-personality
- ↑ https://www.16personalities.com/esfp-strengths-and-weaknesses