This article was co-authored by Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden
. Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.
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This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Is your friends with benefits (FWB) situation starting to feel more like a romantic relationship than a platonic one? Keeping up a no-strings-attached FWB relationship can be tough, and many times, one person ends up falling for the other. In this article, we’ll tell you all the signs to look out for so you can see if your FWB is catching feelings for you.
Steps
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Jealousy is a sure sign that your FWB wants to be something more. In a true FWB situation, there are no feelings attached to the relationship, so you’re both free to flirt or date whoever. If you notice that your FWB seems to get upset when you flirt with others or talk about other people, there’s a good chance that they’re developing feelings for you. [1] X Research source
- It might not be super obvious, but try to read their body language the next time you talk about a date you went on. If they look down or cross their arms, it probably means they’re feeling upset.
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Eye contact is a sign that your intimacy is increasing. The next time that you two are together, pay attention to how long your FWB stares into your eyes. If they tend to hold eye contact with you, even once you’re done talking, that’s a sign that they might be feeling emotionally connected with you. [2] X Research source
- Keep in mind that for some people, making eye contact can be challenging. If your FWB isn’t making a ton of eye contact with you but they do a bunch of other things, there’s still a chance that they have feelings for you.
- Reader Poll: We asked 416 wikiHow readers about the strongest indicator that someone thinks of you as more than a friend, and only 8% of them said if they point their hips and toes toward you . [Take Poll] Instead, see if they make repeated eye contact or get close to you.
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When they want to talk all the time, they might be falling for you. Normally, FWBs really only hit each other up when they’re setting up a hookup time. However, if your FWB is texting or calling you randomly throughout the day just to chat, they might be feeling a bit romantic toward you. [3] X Research source
- Talking throughout the day about things that aren’t sexual can blur the lines of your relationship.
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You might find yourself on romantic outings that don’t involve sex. Since you two aren’t in a relationship, there’s no expectation that you have to take each other out. If, however, your FWB proposes going out to eat or seeing a movie, it could mean that they want to be more than just friends. [4] X Research source
- If you’re starting to fall for your FWB, try asking them out on a date to see how they react. You never know until you try!
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They might be avoiding other dates because they like you. Typically, people in FWB situations are free to date or hang out with other people. If your FWB has deleted their dating apps or isn’t pursuing anyone else, they could be developing feelings for you. [5] X Research source
- Make sure you two talk about the boundaries of your relationship and decide whether or not you’re going to date other people while seeing each other.
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They want your friends to like them so you fall for them. If you introduced your FWB to your pals, you probably didn’t expect them to form a bond. However, if you find that your FWB is somehow invited to all your hangs or even hangs out with your friends without you, they’re probably doing it to get closer to you. [6] X Research source
- Plus, being friends with your friends is a great way to ask people who are close to you about your feelings.
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People generally go above and beyond for someone they like. Maybe your car broke down, and your FWB was quick to give you a ride. Or, maybe they brought you flowers and chocolate when you were feeling down. Usually, favors and gifts like these are reserved for people in relationships, not situationships. [7] X Research source
- If you ever ask them why they’re being so nice to you, they’d probably say something like, “I just care about you,” or, “No reason.”
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They’re disclosing more info because they want to get close to you. In relationships that are all about sex, there are rarely deep conversations that go beyond someone’s sexual preferences. However, if your FWB is falling for you, you might notice that they want to talk to you about their childhood or their goals in life. [8] X Research source
- You’ll probably notice this most when you two just finish up having sex. This is when people are usually the most vulnerable and willing to open up.
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Trying to impress you is a sign they want you to like them. Maybe they take you out to an expensive restaurant and insist on paying for your meal, or maybe they help you move by picking up all the heavy boxes. If you find that you’re always marveling at how awesome they are, it’s probably not a coincidence—they’re doing it because they like you. [9] X Research source
- They might also brag about a promotion they got at work, or tell you a story about how they helped a friend out of a jam.
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Spending the night is usually reserved for romantic relationships. It’s totally normal for a FWB to spend the night after having sex, especially if they don’t have to get up early in the morning. However, if your FWB is developing feelings for you, they might ask to stay the night even when there’s no sex involved. [10] X Research source
- If you don’t want to blur the lines of your relationship too much, don’t let your FWB sleepover. Spending the night together is very intimate, and it can make your relationship feel more romantic than it is.
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They’re probably paying close attention because they like you. Have you ever been surprised that your FWB remembers something small that you told them in passing? Even if they’re not doing it on purpose, they want to learn more about you because they’re falling for you. [11] X Research source
- They might recite your favorite color or pick up your favorite flowers for you.
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People usually advertise wanting a relationship when they want it with you. If you two are hanging out and your FWB randomly starts talking about how much they’d like a significant other, they might be trying to drop you a hint. If you ask questions about what they’re looking for, don’t be surprised if they describe you perfectly. [12] X Research source
- This is especially true if your FWB is a guy. Guys typically don’t advertise the fact that they’re looking for a committed partner unless that potential partner is you.
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Giggling or blushing is a sign that they feel embarrassed around you. And people usually only feel embarrassed around people that they like. If your FWB catches a case of the giggles or can’t stop their cheeks from getting rosy, it’s pretty likely that they’re into you. [13] X Research source
- They’ll probably blush or giggle after you give them a compliment or tell them a joke.
Amir Levine, Attachment ExpertWhen a friends with benefits relationship starts shifting into murky emotional territory, small signs are often the giveaways. Perhaps they seem jealous when you talk about other dates, make sly comments about meeting each other's friends and family, or act unusually nervous and sentimental during intimate moments. While not definitive proof, these subtle hints may indicate your casual partner is catching feelings they didn't intend.
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
- In a friends with benefits relationship, make sure to state your needs clearly and directly. Define the terms of your relationship and check in regularly to make sure you're both on the same page.Thanks
- If you’re not looking for a relationship, your FWB falling for you could be a sign that you need to end things.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/jealousy
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201404/5-secret-powers-eye-contact
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202007/the-pros-and-cons-being-friends-benefits
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/201703/date-night-not-luxury-necessity
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.regain.us/advice/attachment/10-signs-a-man-is-emotionally-attached-to-you/
- ↑ https://www.regain.us/advice/attachment/10-signs-a-man-is-emotionally-attached-to-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/the-psychology-of-love
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.scu.edu/illuminate/thought-leaders/phil-kesten/red-in-the-face-the-science-of-blushing.html
About This Article
Reader Success Stories
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Melissa Mathison
Nov 6, 2022
"This was awesome thanks for so much interesting facts about FWB. I have a good friend who is Indian and a few years older than myself but I really liked him when we first got chatting on a dating app, now we are basically friends with benefits!" ..." more
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Melissa Mathison
Nov 6, 2022