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If you find yourself in a conversation with a girl that isn’t going anywhere, or you just have to be somewhere else, you can end it politely without being rude or abrupt. Try to find an opening and explain why you have to get going. Be friendly, try leave on a positive note, and always say goodbye.
Steps
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Change the subject. When you find yourself caught in a conversation that you would like to get out of, it’s important that you treat the other person politely and respectfully. If the other person is talking a lot and you are finding it hard to get a word in, try to change the subject. This can break the flow of her speech and give you an opportunity to explain that you need to be going.
- Don’t be too abrupt, and don’t change the subject to something completely different. Doing this will likely come across as rude and dismissive. [1] X Research source
- Instead say something that indicates you have been listening, but can help you to transition to saying that you have to go.
- For example, if she was talking about her school work you could say something like “Oh, that reminds me, I haven’t done the work for class tomorrow.”
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Wait for a pause. Sometimes the best way to find an opening to make your excuses and exit is just to wait for a pause or lull in the conversation. These can come naturally and it won’t seem as though you were trying to engineer a break to get out of the conversation. You have to be paying attention to pick up on any lulls or pauses, then you can make a spontaneous comment that explains why you have to go.
- You could jump into a lull and say: “Wow, I’ve just seen the time. I’ve really got to go. Great talking to you.” [2] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
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Introduce somebody else to the conversation. Another way to try to remove yourself from a conversation is to take any opportunity to involve more people. Having more than two people relives the pressure on you to stay in the conversation. You could encourage somebody to join you and get the two of them talking before making your excuses.
- If you do this, you are ending your conversation but replacing it with another.
- If you see a friend who has some shared interests with the girl you’re talking to, pull her into the conversation and bring up things they have in common.
- For example, if the girl is talking about her pet dog and you see a friend who has a dog you could say “Oh, Susie’s over there. She loves dogs. Hang on, I’m sure she’d want to talk to you about it.”
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Use body language. You can try to use body language to subtly communicate that you have to go and need to end the conversation. Body language isn’t always very subtle, so be careful and remember to stay polite and friendly. Very slightly turning away from the person you are talking to can give a clear indication that your mind is beginning to drift. [3] X Research source
- Be aware that if you start yawning, looking at your watch or phone, or looking past the person you are talking to, she may consider this rude and get upset or irritated.
- Crossing your arms or rolling your eyes will suggest to her that you would rather be somewhere else, but is not especially subtle. [4] X Research source
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Explain why you have to end the conversation. When you have worked a moment to make your excuse for leaving, always try to give a genuine reason. If you have another commitment or you are running late, say that. Being honest is generally the best way. If you are obviously insincere or making something up, she may well pick up on that and might be offended. If you don’t explain at all why you need to leave (whether it’s having to work on an important project or time to go to bed), she may also take it personally. If you do have to make something up, pick something small and plausible.
- You could say, “sorry, but I have to make a call. Nice talking to you.”
- Or, “I’ve got a load of work to do this afternoon. I better get to it.”
- Avoid more unusual statements like “I have to get to the hospital to visit my sick Uncle.”
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Show that you were listening. Wrapping up the conversation by saying something that summarizes what you have been talking about can be a good way to bring a conversation to an end in a positive way and can be continued next time. It demonstrates that you have been listening and have taken on board what she has been talking about, but also opens a space for you to say that you have to go. [5] X Research source
- For example, if she was telling you about a book she has read recently you could say something like “yeah, that book sounds great. I’ll check it out. Thanks for the recommendation, I really need to get going though.”
- This can also give you something to pick up on in a subsequent conversation.
- You could say “thanks for the recommendation, I’ll check it out and let you know what I think.”
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Compliment her as you end the conversation. You can end a conversation in a positive way that indicates that enjoyed talking to her by complimenting her when you end the conversation. Doing this will help her know that you have enjoyed talking to her, and that you are only ending the conversation because you have to get going. [6] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Add a compliment in when you say you have to go, such as:
- “It was great to meet you, but I really have to run!”
- “Lovely talking to you, good luck with it all. I better get going now.”
- “I’d love to keep chatting, but duty calls!”
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Suggest another time you could chat. A good way to end a conversation, but signal that you want to talk again is to say something like “it was great talking to you, it’d be good to meet up again.” You can then make a more concrete suggestion for a time to talk again. You could add “if you’re free later in the week, maybe we could meet for a coffee.”
- Alternatively, you could just say that it’d be good to meet up and you’ll send her a message soon.
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Say goodbye and smile. A friendly smile is a simple but effective way to leave a conversation on a positive note, and express that you really enjoyed talking to her. Make eye contact with her and say something like “nice talking to you, see you around.” Talking with a positive and upbeat tone will help ensure that she is not offended or upset, and you will be in a better position to pick up the conversation again next time.
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QuestionShould I shake a girl's hand at the end of the conversation if I like her?Community AnswerIf you are in a professional environment (work or networking event), then yes. Otherwise, definitely not. Just smile and say "It was nice meeting you," or "Nice talking to you again," maybe touch her lightly on the arm, this will get the message across.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-project/200912/eight-tips-know-if-youre-being-boring
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2010/03/exiting-a-conversation-gracefu-2/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-project/200912/eight-tips-know-if-youre-being-boring
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/body-language
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2010/03/exiting-a-conversation-gracefu-2/
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