What Are Friend Crushes? Signs You Have One & How to Act On It

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Your ultimate guide to having a friend crush
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When you meet someone cool who you want to get to know better, you might not always develop a romantic crush on them. Instead, you might get a friend crush and simply want to be their friend. If you think you might have a friend crush on someone, or you’re just curious about what this relationship is, read on! In this article, we’ll tell you what a friend crush is, all the signs that you might have a friend crush, and what to do to make your friend crush a friend.

Things You Should Know

  • A friend crush is purely platonic and means you find someone so cool, you want to be best friends with them.
  • You might have a friend crush if you want to hang out with them all the time, you feel nervous around them, and you admire them deeply.
  • Ask your friend crush about themselves to start up a conversation and learn more about them. Then, invite them to hang out to solidify a friendship.
Section 1 of 3:

What is a friend crush?

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  1. When you’re at school, work, or out with friends, you might meet someone who you think is incredibly cool. Whether it’s their personality, vibe, or style, there’s something about them that you admire that makes you want to get to know them better and be their bestie. [1]
    • Unlike regular crushes, you don’t have romantic feelings towards friend crushes. While you might get the same giddy feelings around them, you just want to be friends.
    • Friend crushes are sometimes called “platonic crushes” or “squishes.”
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Section 2 of 3:

Signs You Have a Friend Crush

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  1. When you have a friend crush, you want to be around them as much as possible! You might find excuses to talk to and hang out with them whenever you can, like choosing a seat next to them in class, going to the gym when they work out, or sending them a text when a funny meme reminds them of you. [2]
  2. Having a friend crush is a lot like having a romantic crush: you always want to say the right thing and look cool in front of them. When you know you’re going to see them, you might feel a rush of butterflies in anticipation and primp yourself to make the best impression. [3]
    • To stay cool and make a good impression on your friend crush, think about what you want to say or talk about with them before you see them. Then, put on an outfit that makes you feel confident and empowered.
  3. Your friend crush is simply cool, from their awesome personality down to their killer fashion sense. Being around them or even just thinking about them brings you joy because you are striving to be just as kind, funny, smart, and stylish as them. You might catch yourself complimenting them left and right to let them know you like them as a friend. [4]
    • When you have a friend crush, you might find yourself talking about them to anyone who listens. When a friend is sharing a story, you might jump in because it reminds you of something funny your friend crush said.
    • You might be so drawn to your friend crush because they have qualities you want to develop.
    • While it’s great to have friends that inspire you to grow, don’t change yourself just to be their friend. Being confident and staying true to yourself is the best way to make them your friend.
  4. Because you want to be your crush’s best friend, you love finding out that you play the same sports, have the same taste in music, or both make your coffee the same way. Plus, having shared hobbies and interests are a sign that you and your friend crush make great friends! [5]
  5. Nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than when your friend crush sends you a random text or comes up to you to chat. The fact that they’re thinking of you and want to be your friend too might fill you with a warm glow that keeps you riding high until the next time you talk. [6]
    • Even just thinking about your friend crush can put a pep in your step and make you feel happier.
  6. When your friend crush hangs out with their friends or expresses their love for their bestie, you might feel a little jealous. Even though you don’t have romantic feelings for your friend crush, it’s totally normal to feel envious about their other relationships. It’s just a sign that you share a strong bond with them. [7]
    • To deal with your jealous feelings , reflect on what might be driving your envy. For example, you might see your friend crush’s relationships as a threat to your budding friendship.
    • Then, boost your self-esteem by thinking about all of your positive qualities. Telling yourself that you are cool and interesting reminds you that your friend crush is just as lucky to be your friend, too.
  7. When you have a friend crush, you tend to prioritize their needs. If they text you that they’re having trouble with homework, you’re offering to go to their house and tutor them. If they ask you to hang out and you already have plans, you might cancel them to be with your crush. [8]
    • When you have a crush, make sure to stay in contact with your other friends to maintain your friendships . Ask them how they’re doing and make plans to hang out regularly to show them that you appreciate them, too.
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Section 3 of 3:

Acting on Your Friend Crush

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  1. Turn your friend crush into a true friend by approaching them and talking to them. If you share a class together or play for the same club sport, strike up a conversation about what happened that day. Or, give them a compliment about their outfit to open up a conversation about them and what they like to do. [9]
    • If you feel nervous talking to your friend crush in person, send them a message on social media.
    • Put your best foot forward and go into the conversation assuming that your friend crush likes you, too. This helps you come across as more confident, friendly, and likable which can lead to a solid friendship. [10]
  2. To get to know your friend crush better , ask them what they like and what they do for fun. If they love ghost stories and you do too, share your enthusiasm and ask them about their favorite paranormal shows and podcasts to carry an engaging conversation. To keep your connection flowing, follow up about a show you talked about the next time you see each other. [11]
    • Asking about your friend crush also shows that you’re interested in them, which can make them want to talk to and hang out with you more.
  3. After you’ve got a few conversations under your belt, invite your friend crush to hang out with you to see how you vibe as friends. Just choose something you both enjoy, like going bowling or thrift shopping, or simply ask them to chat over coffee or ice cream. This shows your interest and investment in your friend crush, which can solidify your friendship. [12]
    • If you’re nervous about hanging out 1-on-1, invite your friend crush to join in on plans you already have with your friends.
    • After you’ve had 1 successful hangout, keep initiating and making plans with your crush. Continuing to interact, open up, and bond builds your friendship .
    • It’s possible that your friend crush already has plans, so they might say no. Just accept their declination respectfully and ask them to let you know if they want to do something another time.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 210 wikiHow readers how they build a deeper connection with someone, and 58% of them agreed that the best way to strengthen their bond is by spending quality time together face-to-face. [Take Poll]
  4. If you’re feeling like you and your friend crush have a good thing going, feel free to let them know how you feel. Telling them that you like them and want to continue getting to know them as a friend is sure to flatter them and make them feel good. Plus, they’ll likely reciprocate and want to be your friend, too! [13]
    • If you have a romantic crush on a friend and you want to get over your crush , let them know how you feel. Being honest about your romantic feelings can help bring you closure and find out whether they might have feelings, too.
    • If your friend doesn’t have romantic feelings for you, take some time away from the friendship to heal. Talk to your other friends for support, practice self-care , and delve into new hobbies to build up your confidence.
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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What is the difference between a friend crush and a normal crush?
    Aria Quinn
    Community Answer
    With a normal crush, you desire a romantic relationship with the other person. With a friend crush, you want a strong platonic friendship with the other person.
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    Not Helpful 2 Helpful 9
  • Question
    How can I get closer to my friend crush?
    Community Answer
    Open a conversation whenever you find opportunities, like having a group discussion or when you two are alone.
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  • Question
    How can I get my normal crush to be my girlfriend?
    Muhammad Bilal
    Community Answer
    Building a relationship starts with genuine friendship. Try to get to know her better and find common interests. Be yourself, show kindness, and spend time together doing activities you both enjoy. Communication is key, so don’t be afraid to express your feelings when the time feels right.
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      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about crushes, check out our in-depth interview with Candice Mostisser .

      References

      1. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/platonic-relationship
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/hide-and-seek/202303/the-true-meaning-of-platonic-love
      3. ↑ https://www.regain.us/advice/love/what-is-platonic-love-why-you-need-it/
      4. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/06/cover-story-science-friendship
      5. ↑ https://wellbeing.jhu.edu/blog/2023/01/25/dear-tyler-and-jay-whats-the-difference-between-romantic-and-platonic-attraction/
      6. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2016/11/12/500733094/can-men-and-women-be-friends-without-benefits
      7. ↑ https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/just-good-friends-attraction-opposite-sex-friends-common-and-burdensome
      8. ↑ https://ethics.org.au/in-defence-of-platonic-romance/
      9. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation-guide/
      1. ↑ https://faculty.wharton.upenn.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/The-Liking-Gap-in-Conversations.pdf
      2. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/making-friends
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/making-good-friends
      4. ↑ https://www.kidscape.org.uk/advice/advice-for-young-people/how-to-make-new-friends/

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