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The days of the man always making the first move are long gone. Still, many women—and the men who kiss them—prefer the man to take the lead. If you’re getting antsy waiting for your guy to kiss you, learn how to set the scene for the perfect first kiss.
Steps
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Practice good hygiene. Generally, people like to kiss people who are groomed and have clean teeth. [1] X Research source You want to look presentable!
- If you are a crunchier person, don’t worry about the grooming as much. There is a nobility in cutting down on water usage and hygiene product production that some will find more attractive than clean hair.
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Try a new activity together. Experiencing something new activates adrenaline and heightens awareness, which together make meaningful memories and can help you create a stronger bond with your special someone. [2] X Research source
- Try going bouldering, a form of rock climbing that doesn’t require a harness. Don’t worry—the walls are pretty short!
- If there’s a restaurant or bar you’ve both been wanting to try out, go together.
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Get them alone. While some people certainly do kiss in public places, not everyone loves PDA, especially for a first kiss. Talk about pressure!
- If you’re at a party, you could ask if your partner wants to go on a walk or to talk in a different room.
- Say something like, “It’s so noisy and crowded in here! Want to go get some fresh air?”
- It can be scary to ask someone out first, but if you’ve been crushing on this person and never gone on a date, it’s important that they know you’re interested. Ask them if they want to come over to watch a movie, just the two of you.
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Create an intimate environment. This will vary based on where you are and what your evening plans look like.
- The most important thing is to be warm and approachable. It’s easy to be standoffish if you are nervous, but no one will try to kiss you if you are. If you want him to make the move, you have to help them feel confident that you are open to it.
- Make sure to smile! Just as your other half needs to feel that you’re approachable, they also need to know that you’re enjoying yourself with them. [3] X Research source
- If you invite them over to your house for dinner or a movie, make sure the space is clean and the air smells inviting. Atmosphere is everything.
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Break the physical barrier. If you really like someone and feel nervous when you’re with them, you might subconsciously box yourself off from them accidentally. Don’t do this! Of all flirting techniques, physical touch works best. [4] X Research source
- Always start with light touching. Gently touch their arm when they say something funny. You want them to know that you are OK with physical touch.
- The idea is to build up the level of intimacy so you're both comfortable before moving in to the kiss.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1739 wikiHow readers who've kissed girls, and only 8% of them agreed that the best sign a girl wants to be kissed is when she touches their arm or leg. [Take Poll] Breaking the physical barrier is important, but it might be a good idea to be more direct if you want them to get the hint!
EXPERT TIPDating CoachJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.Don't be afraid to make the first move. A playful touch on the arm or a gentle brush of hands can create a spark. Be respectful and always read your date's body language. Feel free to explore further connection if they seem comfortable with your touch.
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Snuggle in. If you are sitting down to watch a movie, make sure you sit in close proximity to them! Let them sit down first and snuggle in next to them.
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Make steady eye contact. You can hint at them by making eye contact and occasionally looking down at his lips. They should pick up on the fact that you are imagining what it would be like to kiss them. [5] X Research source
- Don’t go too overboard with this. If you’re not in conversation, don’t stare them down or they will find it creepy. If you’re sitting down watching a movie you can occasionally look over at them. Let them catch you looking, then turn back to the movie. They'll know you’re thinking of them.
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Flirt. Women are more successful at flirting when they are bold and direct, studies show. [6] X Research source Men tend to prefer when women are direct about their intentions.
- You can say, “I’m so glad we’re finally on a date together!” People love hearing that they’re wanted.
- Get them to ask what you’re thinking about. If you’re feeling bold, say, “Oh, I’m just wondering what it would be like to kiss you.” [7] X Research source
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Play fight. If you can find a natural way to initiate it, play fighting can lead to a kiss—think of The Lion King! It’ll increase your adrenaline, it gets you close to each other, and it shows that you feel comfortable with them. Just make sure that it is playful, not violent. [8] X Research source
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Tell them you’re nervous. If they know that you like them enough to be nervous, it will make them feel more comfortable. No one likes to be vulnerable, and if they don’t know that you’re feeling nervous too, they might be too afraid to make their move.
- For example, you could say, “I’ve been wanting to spend time with you for a while. I didn’t think I’d be so nervous!”
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Ask them to kiss you. If all else fails, you can tell them that you want them to kiss you and see what happens. Sometimes guys fail to pick up on the hints and you need to be more direct.
- You could say, “I’d really like for you to kiss me right now.” If you want to be slightly less direct, you can say, “It would be OK if you kiss me right now, if you want to.”
- Don’t rush into this. Enjoy the beginning of the relationship, and if it’s been several weeks and you’ve dropped hint after hint, just tell them.
- They may be looking for your OK to go ahead, or they may want to kiss you in their own time.
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Tips
- Enjoy the beginnings of a relationship! People want to rush ahead, but the beginnings are always so fun and only last so long.Thanks
- Remember they're just as nervous as you are.Thanks
- Keep your lips moist with chapstick, but not too much. Sticky lips aren’t pleasant to kiss.Thanks
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Warnings
- Don't try it if they're obviously not into you.Thanks
- Do not pressure someone to kiss you if they don’t want to. Always respect their boundaries.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201111/why-we-kiss-and-how-do-it-right
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/27/strengthen-your-bond_n_5318324.html
- ↑ http://theweek.com/articles/448643/how-flirt-according-science
- ↑ http://theweek.com/articles/448643/how-flirt-according-science
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mari-lyles/part-i-how-to-get-a-guy-t_b_5598665.html
- ↑ http://theweek.com/articles/448643/how-flirt-according-science
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mari-lyles/part-i-how-to-get-a-guy-t_b_5598665.html
- ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a8332/kiss-me-jan07/
About This Article
Article Summary
X
If you want someone to make the first move and kiss you first, try setting the right mood. First, get your crush alone to make things a little more romantic and intimate. As you talk, gently touch their arm or knee to let them know that you’re interested in them. If you’re feeling especially bold, then try snuggling into them a bit or making steady eye contact. You can even tell your crush that you're thinking about what it would be like to kiss them. If the moment is right and you've set the mood, they'll be more likely to lean in for a kiss. To learn how to play fight to initiate a first kiss, keep reading!
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