What Does Nebularomantic Mean? All Your Questions Answered

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An in-depth guide to this unique romantic orientation
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While searching for a label that fits your romantic orientation, you’ve stumbled across the term nebularomantic—but what does it mean? In short, it describes people who can’t tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction because they’re neurodivergent. In this article, we’ll give you a complete overview of what it means to be nebularomantic and how to tell if the term might apply to you, too!

Things You Should Know

  • Nebularomantic people struggle to distinguish romantic and platonic attraction specifically because they’re neurodivergent.
  • Nebularomantic only applies to neurodivergent people; if you’re neurotypical, a label like quoiromantic or platoniromantic might fit better.
  • The term “nebularomantic” most likely originated on Tumblr in 2014 and the nebularomantic flag was created by color-picking from a photo of a nebula.
Section 1 of 6:

Nebularomantic Meaning

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    “Nebularomantic” is a neurosexuality specific to neurodiverse individuals, and it falls on the aromantic spectrum. It’s a label for people who have difficulty telling the difference between romantic and platonic attraction specifically due to their neurodivergence (or can’t tell the difference at all). [1]
    • Some choose not to label their romantic orientation this way, while others feel it helps them communicate their confusion when it comes to attraction.
    • Remember: nebularomanticism is specific to neurodivergent individuals. If you can’t differentiate between types of attraction but are neurotypical, a different label (like quoiromantic or platoniromantic) could apply to you.
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Section 2 of 6:

History of the Nebularomantic Orientation

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    While there isn’t a definitive history for nebularomantic, it seems to have originated on Tumblr, a social networking and blogging platform. Tumblr user can-i-hide-in-you introduced the nebularomantic flag in August 2014 and cited Tumblr user space-revolutionary for having coined the term. [2]
    • Ultimately, it’s hard to say for certain where the term nebularomantic comes from, but it gained popularity between 2015 and 2019 after its introduction on Tumblr.
    • The term “nebularomantic” likely comes from the word “nebulous,” which means clouded or unclear.
    • It’s also a contraction of the word “nebula,” which is a giant cloud of dust and gas in space.
    • Thus, “nebularomantic” likely refers to a nebularomantic person’s judgment feeling clouded when trying to differentiate between types of attraction.
Section 3 of 6:

Nebularomantic Flag & Color Meanings

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    As mentioned above, the flag itself was designed by Tumblr user can-i-hide-in-you in 2014. The colors of the flag, however, don’t have a specific meaning beyond being chosen by color-picking from a photo of a nebula. Thus, the flag reflects a nebula’s overall color scheme. [3]
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Section 4 of 6:

How to Tell if You’re Nebularomantic

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    “Neurodivergent” is a term that describes anyone whose mental differences affect how their brain works, giving them different strengths and challenges than neurotypical people. [4] So, ask yourself if a medical professional has diagnosed you with a condition linked to neurodivergence. Conditions include:
    • Autism
    • Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
    • Anxiety
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • Depression
    • Dyslexia
    • Dyspraxia
    • Hyperlexia
    • Tourette's Syndrome
    • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
    • Synesthesia
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    Do you struggle to differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction? If the answer is “yes” and you’re definitely neurodivergent, you could absolutely use “nebularomantic” to label your romantic orientation. However, you’re also not obligated to use labels if you don’t want to! [5]
    • Remember, it’s important to get an official diagnosis, even if you already feel like you might have a neurodivergent condition.
    • Neurodivergent people who identify as nebularomantic may also be offended if you use the term without actually being neurodivergent yourself.
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Section 5 of 6:

Are there nebularomantic pronouns?

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    Nebularomantic is a romantic orientation, not a gender orientation. Therefore, anyone who identifies as nebularomantic uses the pronouns that feel comfortable to them. It’s always best to ask people (whether they’re nebularomantic or not) on a case-by-case basis if they have preferred pronouns. [6]
Section 6 of 6:

Related Terms

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    If you feel like “nebularomantic” is a fitting label for your romantic orientation, that’s great! If you feel like something else might fit better, consider the following related terms: [7]
    • Nebulasexual. This label simply describes someone who can’t differentiate between sexual attraction and other types of attraction (as opposed to romantic).
    • Nebularoace. Nebularoace refers to someone who identifies as both nebularomantic and nebulasexual.
    • Quoiromantic. This is a broad term for people who don’t understand or experience romantic attraction the way most do. For example, it can mean feeling confused by romantic attraction or experiencing it in a different way.
    • Platoniromantic. This is a subcategory of quoiromantic referring to people who don’t understand the distinction between platonic and romantic attraction and don’t experience the two separately.
    • Nebulous attraction. Nebulous attraction is experienced by people who can’t distinguish between types of attraction; it can include any attraction type, but not necessarily all of them (from sexual attraction to romantic, platonic, aesthetic, or mental attraction and more).
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What is being asexual? Is it hard to have relationships when being asexual?
    Denise Brady
    Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
    Denise Brady is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Long Beach, CA. With 15 years of experience, she specializes in helping people through generational trauma and uses Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to assist clients in reprocessing traumatic experiences and memories. Denise is the owner of 'In the Meantime Breathe Family Counseling Services' and offers services in both California and Texas, including virtual and in-person therapy sessions. She also offers workshops, including ‘Embracing Empathy and Validation’ and ‘Preventing Parent Burnout’. Denise has previous experience working with the Department of Children Family Services (DCFS) and her practice is trusted and verified by Therapy for Black Girls and Psychology Today. She received her Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University in Los Angeles.
    Denise Brady
    Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Being asexual means a person does not have a sexual attraction, or if they do, is very minimal. People with asexuality can still lead meaningful relationships and experience love and intimacy, but above all, emotional closeness is possible. However, the desire for intimate sexual interaction is just absent from an intimate relationship. There is a wide spectrum of people who claim to be asexual, and some may indeed have that urge to share intimate physical intercourses, while on the other extreme end, others just do not feel that way at all. There is always a stigma attached to being an asexual because society instead thrives on sexual relationships. Being an asexual is, however, another means of experiencing attraction and relationship. Asexuals can have company, love, and intimacy without the pressure expected by society of physical intimacy. It should be clarified that being asexual doesn't mean that a person is wrong or broken—it's only a different manner in which they relate.
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  • Question
    Can I be pansexual and this? I do feel romantic emotions, it's just hard to differentiate them at times. (I'm neurodivergent)
    SparklyCheeto
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    Yeah! As long as you’re neurodivergent and feel like this label fits you, go for it!
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      References

      1. ↑ https://new.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Aromantic
      2. ↑ https://www.tumblr.com/can-i-hide-in-you/93934380226/
      3. ↑ https://www.tumblr.com/can-i-hide-in-you/93934380226/
      4. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent
      5. ↑ https://new.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Aromantic
      6. ↑ https://uwm.edu/lgbtrc/resources/gender-pronouns/
      7. ↑ https://asexuals.fandom.com/wiki/Nebulasexual

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