Q&A for How to Be Polite

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  • Question
    Is it necessary to be polite?
    Tami Claytor
    Etiquette Coach
    Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
    Etiquette Coach
    Expert Answer
    I mean, it's not mandatory, but I don't know why you'd go out of your way to be rude! There's nothing wrong with being polite, and it's the kind thing to do.
  • Question
    How can I deal with someone who is actively being mean?
    Tami Claytor
    Etiquette Coach
    Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
    Etiquette Coach
    Expert Answer
    I always recommend not engaging. Walk away, ignore them on social media, and let it go because this person obviously is looking for attention or a fight. If this person doesn't know you, don't get your blood pressure elevated over someone you don't know. If it's someone you're close with, take a minute or two to really collect your thoughts and approach them about it. Make sure your intention is to go in and say, "this affected me, but I really do value our friendship and how can we make sure this doesn't happen again?"
  • Question
    What should I do when my fiance and I went to a restaurant where he saw sitting at another table his female colleague? This colleague was interested in him before knowing he's with me. He asked me to go say hello together with him, but I refused and sat down at our table. He went to say hello.
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    You should realize that he did choose you over his colleague, and he intentionally asked you to be there with him to greet her. That would be his way of showing you that he has chosen you, and a sign to the colleague of whom he has chosen to be his significant other. If you continue to have insecurities you should have a respectful conversation with your fiance about your concerns and identify some ways to help each other cope.
  • Question
    How can a little girl become polite?
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    A child’s best teachers are their caregivers. Your little girl will learn to become polite by you teaching her how to do so, and role modeling good polite behavior
  • Question
    How can I show politeness in the classroom?
    Community Answer
    Be friendly to your classmates; greet them and ask them how they are doing. If someone drops something, help them pick it up. If someone needs help, offer them your aid. Also, remember to properly address your teacher. Unless the teacher asks otherwise, you should call them Mr or Ms, followed by their last name.
  • Question
    What should I do if the other person fails to show any politeness or respect?
    Community Answer
    Show respect and be polite anyway. It's not your fault if they aren't being nice, but it is your call to be polite or rude. By showing kindness, you reveal yourself to be the stronger person who won't be swayed by pettiness.
  • Question
    What can I say when answering the phone at work?
    Community Answer
    Say "Good morning" or "Good afternoon", the place you work at, then "How may I help you?".
  • Question
    How can I correct someone without hurting them?
    Community Answer
    You could ask "Did you mean...?" If it is an incorrect rumor, you could simply say "Oh... well I heard that..." Never accuse the person of being wrong.
  • Question
    How do I be polite on the internet?
    Community Answer
    One way is not to use all caps letters in email or text. Another is to use a reasonable font; it has to be readable and light (or really bright) colors are hard to read. Oh, and you should probably pay attention to spelling and grammar if you are speaking with someone important (like your boss). No emojis!
  • Question
    How do I stay polite when I'm angry?
    Community Answer
    Use manners as your shield to disguise your anger. Take a few deep breaths. If you are very angry, then just keep your mouth shut. Then excuse yourself politely and leave until you recompose yourself.
  • Question
    How can I let family members know they are impolite without hurting their feelings?
    Community Answer
    Quietly tell them how you feel. Show them respect, but act uncomfortable.
  • Question
    What is the difference between good manners and politeness?
    Community Answer
    They're basically the same thing.
  • Question
    How do I be polite to a customer?
    Community Answer
    Listen to the customer and try to make eye contact; you can nod to show that you understand what they are saying, but never shrug. You can even say things like "yes" or "I understand." If you don't know the answer to the customer's question, you could say: "I'm sorry, I don't know the answer to that, but let me find someone who does." These same tips go for rude customers as well.
  • Question
    What's the best way to greet someone my age?
    Community Answer
    Just say, "Hi!" Or even something like, "Hey, what's up?" You don't need to come up with anything special.
  • Question
    How I can talk to students in a polite way and get them to participate in class?
    Community Answer
    Ask them engaging, challenging questions. The students will be more likely to participate than if the questions are super easy. Candy is also a great motivator, regardless of age or grade.
  • Question
    Why should I be polite?
    PreuxFox
    Top Answerer
    If you are not polite, people you have just met will probably form a bad opinion of you. They will feel like you don't like them or respect them. You may not care about this at first, but if you had been polite it may turn out that you could have made a good friend or a business contact.
  • Question
    How do I act politely at the dinner table?
    Community Answer
    Learn proper manners. Start by learning to use utensils correctly. Don't burp, slurp, or pick your teeth and chew with your lips together.
  • Question
    How we respect our elders?
    Community Answer
    Always use "Mr." or "Mrs." or "sir" or "ma'am" when addressing those older than you, make eye contact, and listen when they speak.
  • Question
    How am I supposed to correct people without hurting them?
    PreuxFox
    Top Answerer
    If it is not your job to correct them; if their mistakes are not hurting anyone, you do not need to correct them. If it is your job, or the mistake is causing problems, make sure you approach in the way you would want someone to talk to you. Avoid saying anything like 'you've messed up again' or 'can't you read?' Just show the person the mistake and how to correct it. Some people may still be embarrassed and hurt to be corrected, but at that point it is on them, not you.
  • Question
    I always forget to keep my mouth closed and chew quietly at the dinner table, how can I get into the habit?
    PreuxFox
    Top Answerer
    You can practice on your own. Try eating a snack in front of a mirror so that you can see what you are doing with your mouth, and get used to how it feels to chew with your mouth closed. Then, when eating, check in with yourself periodically and remind yourself to keep your mouth closed. You can also ask someone in your family to gently remind you if you start slipping.
  • Question
    How can I be a good steward?
    Misses Ace
    Community Answer
    Welcome guests and let them know your name. Ask them what they would like to see first.
  • Question
    How can I be polite when half of the class says I have an attitude?
    Community Answer
    Ask someone (or a couple of people) why they feel that you have an attitude. Think carefully about what they say, and consider trying to make some adjustments in your behavior. Regardless, be nice and treat all people with respect at all times.
  • Question
    Everyone thinks I'm a rude and disrespectful person. People either take my sarcasm too seriously or my words out of context. How can I fix this?
    Community Answer
    Apologizes to them and explain you were being sarcastic. Or, tell them what you mean at first.
  • Question
    How can I politely deal with my family when I have a lot of work pressure?
    PreuxFox
    Top Answerer
    On your ride or drive home from work, take some time to de-stress and think about other things. Also, during a quiet time when you are not feeling stressed, talk to your family. Explain that you have a lot of pressure from work and maybe ask that they not bring you problems right when you get home from work unless it is urgent; or tell them anything else they can do to help you. You and your family can work together on this.
  • Question
    How should I act to be polite to my teachers?
    Community Answer
    When you enter the classroom, say "good morning" or "good afternoon" in a cheerful manner. Put your hand up when you want to talk to the teacher unless you have been told to do otherwise. Say "please" and "thank you." Don't ever talk when the teacher is talking, and be respectful of your peers as well.
  • Question
    How can I be polite with someone, especially a friend, if I am upset with the person?
    Community Answer
    It can be hard, but use your manners as a shield and give yourself (and your friend) some time to cool down.
  • Question
    How do I disagree in a polite manner?
    PreuxFox
    Top Answerer
    First, try to fully understand where the other person is coming from. Then you can say, "I understand that [repeat back to them what you think their opinion is], but in this case I feel [your opinion]." For example, in a discussion about fees, you might say "I understand that we have always charged customers a delivery fee in the past, but in this case as we are delivering the project late I feel we should waive the fee."
  • Question
    My daughter is 43 years of age and not married. She doesn't bathe every day, and she uses strong-smelling soaps but doesn't wash thoroughly. Any advice?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Bathing every day is not recommended; our skin has natural oils and substances that fulfill important roles, and washing reduces that. Also, after a certain age, say about 14, parents gradually lose the right to tell their children how to treat their bodies. You can gently hint at certain odors or smells, but it's not up to you to tell her what and how. If it bothers you, all you can do is politely voice your concerns.
  • Question
    How do I correct people who are repeatedly behaving rudely and are pulling me down? The politeness is being taken for weakness.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    When you decide to be polite, that's the road you will take forever. If you stop being polite, then you were never polite to begin with. How others interpret this politeness is their problem. The more people are rude to you, the less you interact with them. You just gradually cut them out of your life, let them take their rudeness elsewhere, and if they ever learn their lesson, they'll still have lost the time they could have spent with you in friendship. You don't (and can't) correct other people. You behave yourself the way you think is right, and don't spend time with those who are rude.
  • Question
    How do I politely refuse to remove my toenail polish for surgery? What if they keep forcing me to do so even when I don't want to?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Are you willing to accept whatever negative consequences the presence of that polish may have on the outcome of the surgery? An ingrown toenail, for example; those wounds could get infected because of the toenail polish. I don't think you have any choice here. It's either meet all the requirements to get the surgery, or don't get the surgery. Feels to me you're being obstinate for no reason.
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