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How do you know if your age gap is OK?

Jessica January Behr, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.

Jessica January Behr, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

First you got to understand that there's nothing inherently wrong with two consenting adults being together. More important than the age gap is the fact that the relationship is healthy and comfortable for each of the partners.

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Can a relationship work between a younger man and an older woman?

Jessica January Behr, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.

Jessica January Behr, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Yes, but you have to ask yourself why you're worried about that. Do you feel totally comfortable with the relationship? There usually are external concerns, like blending in with family and friends, but the most important thing is how you feel on the inside, especially regarding other aspects that may burden the relationship. For example, older people are usually more financially stable and have children, and those dynamics can affect you.

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Can a younger man be happy with an older woman?

Jessica January Behr, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.

Jessica January Behr, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Yes, he definitely can! There are, however, circumstances that might make that challenging. For example, you may have reactions to the relationship or mixed feelings about the age gap. You should look inward and ask yourself if you are genuinely interested in the older person or if there is something else going on. You can learn a lot about yourself through your attraction to this person.

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She doesn't really trust me hence she wants evidence for everything I do. How do I end that?

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Have an honest conversation with her about trust. An older woman may have emotional baggage from a previous relationship, but it isn't fair to take that out on you, especially if you've never done anything to break her trust.

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I'm 15 and she is of 28. How I can impress her?

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Well, it's okay to have a crush on someone older than you, but it would be against the law for her to pursue anything with you since you're a minor. Try to get more involved at school and look for someone closer to your own age to date.

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I am 19 trying to get attention of an older woman how do I do it?

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Take an interest in her life and ask her genuine questions about herself to get a conversation started. Treat her with respect and be positive around her.

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What if she thinks am young and not mature?

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You can do things to prove your maturity to her, like acting confident, supporting her interests, and giving her space when she asks for it. Avoid getting jealous.

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Do older women have similar interests as young people?

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Some women do, others might not. It really depends on the woman! But chances are, she will have some interests that are unfamiliar to you. Instead of being intimidated, ask her to tell you more about those things!

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I tried to get closer to someone who's 7 years older than me, but it seems like she's completely ghosted me?

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She may feel that 7 years is too big of an age gap, which is understandable. Respect her wishes for now to prove that you're mature. You can always reach out to see how she's doing in a couple of months and try to rekindle things.

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She's one year older than me and said she would date me if I was just a tad bit older. She brings this up ALL the time. What do I do?

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Well, one year isn't really that big of a difference, but it might feel like it to her. If she's making it known to you that she doesn't want to date someone who's a year younger than her, then respect her wishes and just be friends for now. She may change her mind eventually!

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Is it legal to date a woman who is 32 and single if I'm 20?

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You're over the age of 18, so yes, it's legal to date her. 12 years is a big age gap, though, so try to get to know her a little first and make sure you have common interests.

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