Q&A for How to Resist the Urge to Eavesdrop

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I heard my friend fighting with her boyfriend and then starting to cry over the phone. I tried not to hear. I want to do something for her but I don’t want her to know I heard her. What should I do?

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Community Answer

Tell her something like, "I am sorry, but I couldn't help but to overhear your fight. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" That way, she will know that you didn't intend to eavesdrop and that you are genuinely concerned and want to help. The worst that can happen is that she says, "I appreciate you trying to help, but I am simply not comfortable with you getting involved in this."

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My aunt is always eavesdropping on my personal conversations. She is very cunning, often eavesdropping outside everyone's rooms. What should I do?

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Tell her to stop, that it's really bothering you and you feel like you can't have a private conversation if she is in the house.

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Is it eavesdropping if the person is talking clearly and loudly in the same room you're in?

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No. If they are not making any effort to be discreet and clearly do not see their conversation as private, you are not eavesdropping.

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What if I accidentally hear a snippet of conversation? Does the that count as eavesdropping?

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Accidentally overhearing a snippet of a private conversation does not count as eavesdropping, because you didn't intend to hear it. Simply walk away immediately and don't tell anyone what you overheard.

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Is eavesdropping good manners?

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No. Intentional eavesdropping is very bad manners, much like being a "peeping Tom," except with the ears instead of with the eyes.

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Colleagues at work had another colleague eavesdropping on them while they were talking about that colleague. Should I do something about it?

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If you have the authority to do so, arrange for disciplinary action for that work colleague. Tell them that if they repeat this behavior, it may be grounds for dismissal.

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How can I get help to identify equipment used for eavesdropping in our home?

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Community Answer

You might be able to order a pen that scans for spying equipment. Try searching online.

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